A reader asks:
“Hey Chase, any quick tips on performing oral sex on girls and stimulating the clit specifically? I checked out the other articles but I couldn't get anything specific on the subject.”
We seem to get asked this one a lot... and always on articles that have nothing to do with sex. So let's address it: how to give a girl oral sex.
This is one a lot of men seem to struggle with, but you may be relieved to know it's actually much simpler to learn how to give a girl orgasms through oral sex than it is to learn how to give her orgasms via penetration.
There's no rhythm you must learn to be good.
You needn't exhaust yourself heaving your body back and forth.
You won't even have to learn about the g-spot, the deep spot, the vaginal back wall, or Ricardus's “r-spot” from his article on how to be a good lover.
In fact, all you need to make a girl orgasm from oral is a little patience... and a willing tongue.
And, of course, my 4 simple steps.
WARNING: this one is not
safe for work... there is one section below where words do not suffice,
and graphics simply are needed. So make sure there's nobody around you
can get in trouble with for looking at clitoris pictures before you
proceed (and if there is... what are you doing reading an article about
oral sex at work, anyway).
How to Give a Girl Oral Sex That Makes Her Climax
What fun is oral sex that doesn't end in an orgasm?
Well, actually, you can use it for more than an orgasm – it also makes great foreplay to the main even if you intend on having penetrative sex with her too.
In fact, I'd strongly recommend that if this is your first time sleeping with her, you DON'T let her orgasm through oral sex – I've heard far too many tales of men licking a woman to satisfaction, then readying himself for vaginal sex only to have the girl tell him no, sorry, she's had enough – thanks!
And then of course he never sees her again.
Instead, if it's your first time together, just use it as a tool to
get her turned on... but don't let her achieve full satisfaction until
you're inside of her and have fully consummated your togetherness. Then
you can give her as much satisfaction as she wants.
However... if the girl in question is a lover, girlfriend, wife, friend with benefits, or other regular paramour of yours, you're probably going to want to take her all the way at least from time to time, just to spice things up... and anyway, making a girl cum with a different part of your anatomy than usual can be a whole lot of fun.
Now for some reason, most of the information on the Internet about how to give a girl oral sex seems to be vague or incomplete, and I think that's very wrong. So, let's rectify that: use these four (4) steps of mine in order below, and you will bring a large majority of the women you give oral sex (or cunnilingus) to to orgasm within 5 to 10 minutes.
Let's dive in (pun quite possibly intended).
Step 1: Before You Please, You Must Tease
Teasing is an important step of all forms of foreplay, but unless you have a battle-hardened tongue with the musculature in place to lick for days, you want a girl as warmed up before you start licking heavily so that you'll spend as little time furiously licking as absolutely necessary.
Because unless you are a pro, I promise you that by the time she achieves climax, your tongue will feel like it is about to roll up into a tiny ball of spasming pain.
That's the price you pay for delivering some orgasmic goodness, I'm afraid.
Thus, first, unless you want a long slog of endless licking that never seems to move her much closer to climax, you must tease.
Teasing is very good for orgasms because it heightens anticipation
and builds sexual tension before the main
event of the act.
She knows you're going to lick her clitoris.
You know you're going to lick her clitoris.
But what she doesn't know is when you are going to lick her clitoris... and how much you're going to tease her and make her want it first.
I recommend you escalate oral sex with her in this order:
Start by running your fingertips up and down her inner thighs – do not touch her pussy yet
Begin to kiss and lick her inner thighs in addition to running your hands up and down her legs, drawing closer and closer to her pussy, still without actually touching it
Once having done this for a while (one minute or several... you can take as long as you like actually – so long as she's enjoying it, the slower you go, the more anticipation you will build and the more she'll want it), move up to just beneath her pussy
Begin very lightly whisking your fingers across the outside of her pussy – running along inside the creases between her labia majora (outer lips) and her thighs – again, you should NOT have touched her pussy yet – don't break the anticipation by getting over-eager and touching her without sufficient build up
Start kissing and licking her outer labia, returning every so often to her inner thighs, and even her pelvis (the part of her waist above the pussy and below the belly button), then back again to the outer labia
After you've done this for a while, move to stroking, then kissing and licking, the labia minora (inner lips of the vagina), returning every so often to the outer lips, inner thighs, and pelvis, and going to and fro all these locations
Finally, you can begin licking and touching her vaginal opening as well
DO NOT touch her clitoris yet – your aim at this part of the experience is to make her feel like you are giving attention to everything BUT her clit – ignoring her most sensitive part. She may even ask you to lick or rub her clitoris, or try to guide your head or tongue or hand there – don't let her. If she tries, just tell her, “Patience,” in a deep, sensual voice, with a mischievous, knowing smile and sticky sexual eye contact, and continue doing what you're doing
If you need tips on physical escalation for before you reach the point where you're touching and licking her inner thighs with her panties off, refer to these articles:
By this point in the escalation, she is extremely aroused, and her clitoris is engorged with blood and throbbing for your touch (the female clitoris expands and hardens much the same way the male penis does when aroused... only, at a far smaller scale).
But it is not time to give her what she most wants.
Not yet, anyway.
Step 2: Getting Your Hands Dirty
Well, maybe not DIRTY dirty (unless she didn't get properly washed first, that is), but they're certainly about to get a little oilier and a good bit more aromatic.
The next step in turning her on is to begin using your hands with her, to really rub her pussy and insert a forefinger or a thumb inside her.
The goal here is not to go all out in fingering her; you're not
going to stick three fingers in, or start fisting her. You're not using
the “come hither” move to make her squirt, either. You're not trying to
find her g-spot.
Instead, all you're doing is rubbing the outside of the pussy, and inserting a finger partway inside of her, and moving it in and out.
At this point, you will STILL not have touched her clitoris... and you want to be very careful not to rub it by accident.
The ABSENCE of touch is what makes this so exciting for her. By not touching her clitoris, but touching everywhere else important, you create a vacuum of sensation that makes her long for your touch there more and more and more.
In fact, she will almost certainly even begin to fear that you will not touch her clitoris... what if you do all of this build up, and get her THIS aroused – more aroused than she's been in a long time, or perhaps ever – and then you don't get to her clit?
What if there's some sort of interruption that occurs before you're
able to get around to reaching her most sensitive piece?
She's on the verge of dying from anticipation.
And all you're doing is licking her labia, rubbing her labia, darting a finger halfway in and out of her pussy, and making her wonder if you're ever going to give her what she is now so deeply craving.
Step 3: Commit to the Clit
At last, it's time: you're going to focus your attention – and all the attention of your tongue – upon her clitoris.
And this is where most men who are trying to learn how to give a girl oral sex find themselves misled: they read a lot of articles about all this creative stuff you're supposed to do during oral, and they watch a lot of porn with people jumping all over the place during oral that is designed more to titillate the voyeurs watching than satisfy the participants performing.
Because once your tongue hits the clit, you are not going to do anything wild, creative, inventive, or crazy.
You're just going to STAY there. Like as if your tongue is made out of lead, and her clitoris is a magnet drawing it right there.
(and by the time you're done, your tongue will definitely feel like a piece of lead, I promise)
You are going to lick and lick and lick at that clit like it is the only thing in the world for you to do. And you are going to keep licking, and do NOTHING else, until she climaxes.
And once she starts climaxing, you will still keep licking – just as hard, just as consistently – and not stop until she pulls you off or starts laughing because it's become ticklish (which happens after certain kinds of climax quite often for many women).
At no point after you begin licking her clit will you:
Lick her labia or vaginal opening
Lick her thighs or legs
Do anything other than lick her clitoris with passion and fury
In fact, I'd suggest you throw out the advice you've probably read elsewhere about fingering her while you lick her, too.
You can do this during the buildup to clit-licking, but NOT once you start licking her clit. It's just too distracting; it will move your focus off of licking her clit, and onto making sure you are fingering her properly, which is going to mean you do a poorer job on the most important part, and it's going to overstimulate her, which reduces the amount of attention she's able to give to the clit, which is where all her pleasure is going to be coming from at this point.
Once you hit the clit, you simply must commit.
Step 4: Pull the Hood Back as She Nears Orgasm
As you bring a girl you're giving oral sex to close to orgasm, it's time for the final pleasure booster: you're going to pull her clitoral hood back.
What is the clitoral hood? It looks like this (here's that NSFW part I mentioned earlier):
On the left, you see the entire female genital area, with the top of the genitals – where the clitoris is – highlighted.
On the right, you can see the clitoris – it looks like a tiny penis head – poking out from a fold of flesh – that flesh is called the clitoral hood.
Most of the time, the clitoral hood performs the function of protecting the sensitive flesh of the clitoris, exactly as the foreskin protects the sensitive glans on an uncircumcised male penis (the head of a circumcised penis becomes keratinized and desensitizes due to friction and abrasion with clothing and air).
Because the clitoris is so sensitive, you will NOT pull back the hood right away – start licking an unhooded clitoris too soon, and this will be painful for her, not pleasurable.
YET, once she is very turned on and growing near to orgasm, you can lift up the hood at this point, fully exposing the clitoris to the licking of your tongue... and her groin will explode with pleasure.
To pull back the hood, simply place the forefinger from one of your hands on one side of the clitoris, and your middle finger of the same hand on the other side, forming a ‘V' (or peace sign) with your two fingers, and then gently push the skin there back and up. This will reveal the bulb of her clitoris – and amplify the sensation she gets from your licking.
At this point, just keep licking and licking and licking until she cums.
Don't forget: you're committed to the clit.
If your tongue starts feeling like it's been worked so hard you may never be able to speak again, just push on anyway; you'll be glad in the end and so will she.
(and if you do this often enough, you'll get an extremely muscular, deft tongue as your compensation)
Reminder: girls who are very inexperienced (not all of them; but some) or who come from backgrounds of being sexually repressed may have a little or a lot of difficulty reaching orgasm, no matter what you're doing with them or how good you are in bed or at oral or anything else – if that's the case and you need to train a girl to open up to orgasm, see these articles on that:
How to Give a Girl Oral Sex: Recap
Let's sum up the lessons here on how to give a girl oral sex that's going to bring her to climax and make her scream (from pleasure, unless you push the clitoral hood back too soon):
Before you start to please her, tease her – and the more of this you do, the more anticipation you build, and the more desperate she will be to experience your tongue on her ladybits. Do not touch her clitoris yet
Once you've completed teasing, it's time to start inserting your fingers midway into the pussy and rubbing its exterior – again, without touching the clitoris, not even brushing or rubbing it accidentally. You're not going all out with fingering her either – it's just a later-stage form of teasing
Once she's reached the point where she is about to EXPLODE with desperate desire, it's time for the main course – for you to begin licking her clitoris. Keep in mind the mantra that to the clit you must commit. If you stop licking the clitoris to focus elsewhere, you will “break the spell” you put her in and she will fall farther away from orgasm rather than continue to climb steadily toward it
Finally, as she nears climax, use the second and third digits on one of your hands to push back her clitoral hood and flick her clitoris fully with your tongue. Don't do this too soon or it will be very uncomfortable for her, but once her clitoris is fully engorged with blood and she is nearing climax, doing this will amplify her pleasure and give her a sensation that none but the most experienced lovers she's enjoyed before have given her
One final tip for added intensity: maintain eye contact with her throughout the session – just keep staring up at her. If she doesn't look at you, that's fine, but every time she looks down and sees you staring right back up at you while you provide her pleasure with your tongue it's a major hit of “Wow, this guy knows what he's doing”, which, no matter what she says about how experienced or not she likes her men, thrills every girl, and enhances her pleasure further.
And that wraps us up. If you follow these steps, don't be surprised if you have women wondering where on Earth you learned to how to give a girl oral sex like that... and if you don't want to tell them “a little website called Girls Chase”, you can always just shrug and say that you're a cunnilingus natural.
Following a performance like the one you'll give her following these
steps, she'll almost assuredly be inclined to breathlessly agree.