How Black Guys Can Have Sex with White Girls

black guys white girlsThis post has a very long time coming. I can’t count how many readers and forum members have asked about a piece on black guys having sex with and dating white girls. Well, finally… the wait is over.

Have you ever seen an interracial couple with a strong black man and an absolutely gorgeous white girl and wondered how that situation came about?

If you’re a black man, have you ever wondered how you can be that guy? Have you wondered how you can get white girls just as easily as any other girls? And if you’re not black, have you ever been curious?

Well, luckily for you, I’ve been that guy in the past. And these days, I’m that guy all of the time. So let me break it down for you, and show you the way to getting yourself some wonderful light-skinned beauties.

black guys white girls

If you want to be successful with white girls, you must be able to develop the right mindsets. That means:

  • Breaking through your own limiting beliefs
  • Learning how to present yourself
  • Understanding the different kinds of white girls you’ll meet
  • Committing to actually taking them to bed

The Origins of Colt

Have you ever been thrown into a social situation that where you felt you didn’t belong? Or one that was way past your comfort zone? Well, that’s what life was often like for me since day 1. 

I am first generation African-American. Long ago, before I was ever born, my parents came to the U.S. as refugees from Central Africa. Since they were already adults when they came here, they were never really exposed to the social pre-conditioning that a lot of black people who’ve been in the U.S. for generations have experienced.

As I was growing up, my dad always told me that if I wanted to be successful in life I had to learn how to be socially fearless. I had to learn to interact with black people, white people, Asians, Middle Eastern people – everyone. And my folks would always talk about how I shouldn’t limit myself with women either: that if I fell in love with a girl – regardless of her skin color – that’s the girl that I should be with.

I grew up in a poor, ghetto neighborhood comprised mostly of black people with a spattering of Russians. The first school that I went to was pretty much the same demographically, except there was a small population of rich, suburban white students. When I first started, everyone was required to take placement tests to see what educational “tier” he or she would start on (there were five tiers total).

My parents were told that most black students were in the bottom two tiers, and sometimes made it up to the third. My dad asked the administrator if there were any black students in the top tier. No, she replied.

“Well, you better prepare for one,” is all he said.

A few weeks later, I was in the top tier learning program, after having earned the highest score in the school. I hated it. I hated not belonging among all of these privileged white students. I hated being alienated for “abandoning” my minority.

And yet, decades later… here I am: having had a handful of white girlfriends, having slept with dozens more, and still having as much success with women of all other races.

How is this possible?

Limiting Beliefs

If you ever pay close attention to when people talk about their very high aspirations, they always speak about them as if they are distant fantasies – fantasies that will be:

  • Enlightening
  • Halcyon
  • Phenomenally amazing
  • And every other over the top positive description you can give them

But that’s not how real life is.

Do you ever see millionaires saying: “I love the fact that I have all of this money! This is amazing! Now I can buy a Mercedes, and a big house, and live every day better than the last!”

No, you don’t. And if you do, they don’t stay millionaires very long. That’s not to say that rich people they don’t like their money, but money is just something they have, something they’re used to – good and bad.

They also have to worry about maintaining their wealth, paying their employees, filing their taxes, repairing their houses/cars, paying for their children’s fancy schools, and everything else that comes with being rich.

It’s the exact same thing when black guys talk about white girls. “Damn, that girl is so bomb! I know she’d be good in bed, and a step up for a relationship,” etc.

But white girls are just like any other girl. They whine, they can be bad in bed (and usually are, in my experience), and have all of the same flaws as any other girl.

black guys white girls

The Source of These Limits

I will be honest: there are some real and definite social stigmas against black men.

These come from:

  • News media
  • Music culture
  • Hollywood
  • Old social rules

Some white people don’t know better and just blindly believe what they are spoon fed by society. Everyone is guilty of this. There is no one reading this who hasn’t gone into an interaction with someone, somewhere with a mind full of preconceptions.

But these stigmas are easily overcome. As long as you show people that you don’t fit their negative preconceptions, you’ll be fine. Chase wrote about this very issue in his article about Asian guys and white girls.

But, I’ll cut you a little more slack.

I’ll say that the responsibility for your lack of hooking up with white girls is 10% society and 90% you.

Destroy Your Limits

It was the realization that I had complete control over my social success that led me to change my own life.

These are the things that I had to do to change my own limiting beliefs:

  • Learn how to connect with everyone. When you share a race with someone, you know that you intrinsically have connections with that person. Maybe it’s your heritage, maybe it’s dealing with the type of hair you have, maybe it’s the kind of food you eat – but there is always something.

    But when people of different races encounter each other, there isn’t that instant subconscious “click” that you get, where you say ,“Yes, this person is just like me.” But oftentimes people of different races will be better friends/couples than people of the same races because their connections go much deeper than their racial similarities.

    So you must learn how to connect with everyone. You should read my post on how to connect with anyone here: “Connecting with People: It’s Easy (If You Do These 3 Things).” A lot of black guys with limiting beliefs don’t think about taking the time to actually invest in a white girl and learn about what she cares about.

    With women, yes, you can have a sexy vibe, yes you can be a dominant man, but nothing will get into a girls heart (and pants) better than connecting with her. She has to feel like it’s her you want, and not just “some white girl” or “some girl to sleep with.”

  • Figure out what you want in a white girl. Just like with Latinas, or Asian women, white girls come in many varieties. So you wanna hook up with a white girl? Fantastic. What else is important you? Her hair color? Her body shape? Do you want her to like sports? Do you want her to like reading fiction?

    Saying, “I want to have sex with a white girl,” is like walking into a restaurant and saying, “I want to eat something with vegetables.” It’s not specific enough, and is only going to leave you hungry or disappointed.

    You’re still going to have to do a lot of screening until you find the type of girl you’re looking for. When I dabble with the fairer skinned women, I have a very specific type I’m looking for, and I know what personality traits I care about, so I try to find a white girl with either the physical traits or the personality traits I want (and I’m really lucky, both) before I try to take her to bed.

    Though, I will add: don’t be too picky if you’re a beginner. Don’t sabotage yourself by telling yourself a certain girl isn’t what you’re looking for. Lower your standards if they’re preventing you from getting results, and if she’s attractive enough, just focus on taking her home.

  • Make talking to white girls no big deal. If you want to have sex with white girls, you should talk to white girls every day. That doesn’t mean that you should always be trying to have sex with them, but you should talk to them wherever you can. Is one of your acquaintances a white girl? How about someone you know from work? Someone you know from school? It doesn’t matter. Just make sure you do it.

    That’s the only way you’ll get used to it and just start to see it as an everyday occurrence. You’ll see it as something you just do, just as casually as you brush your teeth. Then try to actively flirt with a white girl at least once a day. Then up your numbers to 10 times a week, and then a little more often, and keep slowly building on that momentum.

  • Understand that white girls will give you as much of a chance as any other guy. I’ll hammer this point home when I talk about how to present yourself to white girls. But if you get used to approaching them, they won’t look at it as strange or out of the ordinary. And more importantly: neither will you.

black guys white girls

The first white girl I ever got sexual with was an absolute firecracker of a girl. By far one of the smartest girls I will ever meet in my entire life; incredibly charismatic, and had a surprisingly strong hold over her sexuality for how young we were at the time.

She was a very close friend at the time, and we found ourselves having a four hour conversation in a dark steam shower (long story, hah) about life. And before I realized what was happening, I was making out with her. Unfortunately, this very event led to a falling out with this girl (I had feelings for someone else); but years later, when I definitely knew a lot more of what I was doing, we became secret lovers. And damn, it was one of the most enjoyable periods of my entire life.

And if you are a dark prince charming looking for his snow white, you will find about four different kinds of girls who fit the bill:

  • The Ghetto Girl
  • The Wannabe Ghetto Girl
  • The “Loves Black Guys” Girl
  • The Regular White Girl

Let’s take some time to look at each one…

The Ghetto Girl

black guys white girls This is the girl who may as well as be a black girl from the ghetto. You will find her talking with a thick accent, wearing baggie pants, and constantly eating flaming hot Cheetos.

This type of girl is usually very down for partying, drugs, and quick hook ups.

She is probably the lowest quality white girl you will encounter as a black man; and usually the kind of girl that most black guys – especially those who aren’t exposed to many different social contexts – will go for because they think that they have the best shot with her.

They can interact with her the same as most of the black girls they find, but still satisfy their desire for a white girl.

This girl’s usually exposed to almost exclusively black men, and won’t think twice about having sex with them.

The Wannabe Ghetto Girl

This is the girl who comes from a very healthy or ordinary white girl background. Regular family, middle class, maybe divorced parents, etc. BUT, she loves everything about black culture. You’ll often find her singing along to some Lil Wayne song in her car, booty popping like she just walked into a street party, and talking to you about how she’s about to take a hit of a LEAN cup (which she would never actually do).

black guys white girls

I was chilling with one of these girls recently. I think these girls are hilarious. They are usually very energetic, very outgoing, and almost want to impress you with their knowledge of your culture. But despite their “ghetto” tendencies, they are pretty average white girls. They’ll go to class if they’re in college, they’ll work normal, respectable jobs in the real world, and they’ll probably have almost all white friends.

But if “Get Low” comes on… watch out.

The “Loves Black Guys” Girl

This is more or less the regular white girl that I’ll discuss below. But for some reason or another, she has some fascination with black men. She won’t necessarily like hip-hop, or watch BET, or anything like that, but she’s always up for a little taste of chocolate.

black guys white girls

I’ve also found that these girls are very forward with their desire for black men. Last year I had a white girl come up to me and tell me I was the most handsome black man she had ever seen (not true, I’m above average at best). And I’ve had many other girls give up their desire for black guys within less than a minute of talking to them.

So if you encounter this girl, you’ll know it. Move fast and use it to your advantage.

The Regular White Girl

This is your run-of-the-mill white girl. Nothing more, nothing less. In terms of black guys, she probably hasn’t actively thought about hooking up with a black guy. But she’s not necessarily against hooking up with a black guy either.

black guys white girls

I and many of friends have encountered many of these girls in the past. Sometimes we’re the first black guy they’ve ever been with or dated. But these girls really don’t think much of it. They just see you as a guy they are attracted to and care about, and they sleep with you and maybe become your girlfriend.

How to Present Yourself to White Girls

Based on the descriptions I gave above, you may think that you have present yourself in a different way based on each type of girl. You’d be wrong.

The most effective method I’ve found for getting any white girls is: dressing well, being playful and talking like a normal person.

  1. Dress Well. White girls are conditioned to think that black men don’t dress well. That all we wear are baggy jeans and jerseys unless we’re millionaires (and sometimes even then!). But if you get your black man style on lock, you will instantly set yourself apart. I once had a girl in college tell me, “I hope this isn’t rude, but I’ve never seen a black guy in a suit before.” A little sad, but she was from a small town. It was all made better when I later became the first black guy she’d ever slept with.

  2. Speak Normally. That’s not to say you can’t throw in some good hood lingo, but if a girl literally can’t understand you, why would she waste time trying to flirt with you?

  3. Be Playful. When a girl isn’t exposed to very many black girls, she may be a little standoffish. And I also know that a lot of black guys like to be very serious or “hard.” And a lot of those guys walk out venues alone. Being playful and light-hearted (combined with your style and speech) will completely disarm her, get her on your side, and have her thinking about getting sexual with you.

These methods have allowed me to hook up with every variety of white girl (except for the ghetto girl, which I don’t really go for). So, know that these approaches will work in pretty much every situation.

After you present yourself, follow your normal process. The only thing you have to do as a black guy is dispel her initial apprehension. Once you do that, just follow your process as you normally would in any other situation (or work on aspects of it if you’re still learning).

And finally… connect with her. I cannot stress this enough.

Black Guys and White Girls Wrap Up

White girls aren’t some great mystery. They are just girls, like any other girl. You can get them if you’re Latino, Asian, Black or Green. Just don’t overthink it.

  1. Destroy your limiting beliefs
  2. Make approaching them an everyday occurrence
  3. Know what types you’ll find
  4. Present yourself well
  5. Have a great time

And as always…

Carpe diem,


Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.


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Anonymous's picture

Lol..I enjoyed this article.

Who would have thought Colt was black! ;)


P.S. black man here.

Colt Williams's picture

Thank you anon black man! Glad you liked it.


D'brainz's picture

Great article!! Really enjoyed it, it ended too soon.

You seem to be an intelligent guy, didn't know you were black either, so cool.
Could you give a piece of advice on a black guy trying to get white girls in a foreign country. I know nothing really changes, but in a country like Russia where few girls speak English, how can I build connection in this case.

Also, I do most of the things you said, and they really work for, I mean good reception from girls, but I'm not a good closer, it sucks, how can I overcome this sticking point.

Also, shy white girls, how do I deal with girls like this .

Hope to hear from you soon. One love bro!

Colt Williams's picture


Thanks for the love. And haha yup.

A foreign country can be a tricky case. For a black man, europe can be especially hard. It's really important to have strong nonverbals. She should be feeling the sexual tension. I think it would also help to learn a basic phrase or two in russian (like hello/you are beautiful). Finally, night venues are your friend. If you are in a bar or club, it's much easier to try to escalate and have her understand what you want than if you did a day approach and she couldn't really understand you.

Also, read Chase's article on foreign girls:

In terms of closing, I used to have a similar problem here and there. I would have girls feeling me, laughing, attracted, and then wouldn't end up sleeping with them. Honestly, there's no quick fix. You just have to learn to say "how about we go grab a drink at my place? I'm getting tired of this bar/club/whatever." or "This is a really cool house, let me show you something you'll really love." or "I'd love to keep the night going, let's go to x place." I know it's not easy. You feel really nervous at first. But the fact is, it's not the girl's job to close. It's yours. She's waiting for you to close. Just *tell her* (playfully) what's about to happen, and then make it happen. If she says no, then push a little harder. If she still says no, then she wasn't gonna hook up with you anyway, and you don't have to regret it. That's always my motivation, I *hate* the feeling of wondering "what if?" I hate it. So I try to push myself to avoid it and you should too.

With shy white girls, you have to be *really* playful with them. Just try to make them laugh, and say things like "See, I knew you had that side to you. I like it!" and try to get her talking about something she's interested in. I've found that as long as you just stick with it, and you keep talking to them and asking them questions, they will eventually warm up to you. You just have to be more patient.

Cheers D'brainz. Go get em.

dillon 's picture

Can one of you guys write a article on how a white man can sleep with a black women? I live in a majority black neighborhood and am around all kinds of beautiful black women all the time. I live in a neighborhood in nyc. Most my friends are black and a lot of the girls we hang around are too. I don't need help getting them into me I know a lot of them are and show little signs there interested and I know others that show that there into me blatantly. Ever since moving here one thing I picked up apon is that black women in my opinion are a lot more likely to come on very strong when they flirt as opposed to white women who are more reserved and subtle. But whenever a black women shows blatant interest no matter how attractive I always freeze up and don't know what to do. This one very pretty black chick was talking to her friend and my very close friend and when I sat down I herd her whisper to her friend "he's cute". I never seen her before. She then proceeded to laugh at everything I said, say I was built, ask me all kinds of questions like where im from. I just froze up and acted disinterest, not because I was, just because I really cant get over the fact she's black. This freezing up has happened many times before some either laugh, think I don't like them or just tell me im shy. My question is basically how do I proceed to date them and sleep with them. I just cant get over the fact these women are black and the whole interracial awkwardness. Not just with us two but the people starring when we go places and all the other problems that occur with interracial dating.

Colt Williams's picture


It sounds like you're creating a lot of the awkwardness in your own mind. Black girls are the most receptive and outgoing race of girls no doubt. There's no magic pill for sleeping with them; just tell them you want to see them again. Ask them what they're doing later and then ask them out or invite them to cook some food at your place. If they think you're cute, they'll go very far in trying to help you out.

Just relax, and realize that they are just like any of the white girls you've been with, just more forward. Don't think "I'm white, and she's black." Just think "she's cute, and I want to sleep with her." And I promise...they will do the same.



Dalai_Mama's picture

LOL, you're going to get his ass kicked. The kind of Black chicks (speaking as a Black chick) who are into White guys are into White guys because they think White guys are the opposite of Black guys. They think White guys don't lie, cheat or would rather go chill and play basketball in the park on a Saturday morning than cuddle. They hate the way Black guys bottom line everything and have all of these dogmatic hardheld beliefs. Black dudes also tend to be pretty chauvinistic and judgemental. They are QUICK to call girls hoes, low-class, ratchet, dirty, dumb for stuff that's pretty mainstream. Black girls who like White guys think that they are the opposite of that.

Black girls are not like White girls. Black girls don't do "casual" relationships, even hoes. We're very deep and into soul connections and vibes and bonds. If you have sex with a Black girl, especially with her believing that you as a White guy are totally different from Black guys, she's going to expect some kind of commitment/relationship from you. If you want to have a one night stand with a Black girl, you should do what Colt said and tell her how pretty she is and that you want one night of magic with the most beautiful black woman you've seen...or something equally cheesy. But you HAVE to... HAVE TO... HAAAAAVE TOOOOOOOOO... specify the boundaries up front or you will end up making a Black girl go totally batshit on you.

Wes's picture

Haha...I had no idea Colt was black.
I should've guessed from your talks of making freestyles with people.

Anyway, I've never had any problem talking to white girls. They're just generally really accepting here in Florida. Although I've never had one tell me right away that they wanted me like that. That's awesome.
Great advice Colt.
All of that stuff was stuff I practically worked on all my life. I grew up getting called "Oreo" because black folks told me I was black on the outside, white on the inside.
I never really got along with black folks as well...
And I absolutely SUCK at getting ghetto chicks. Ive tried but it's like they don't even want to have an intelligent conversation or if they do I have to have "swag" or something.
I dress like a beach person and sometimes like a gamer wearing tight fitted t-shirts with superhero logos or game art or artistic designs on them.
I try hard not to fit into any stereotypes whatsoever and come off as my own created person.
Can you make a post on how "Oreos" can get black girls?
The only black girls I can get are nerdy Oreo black girls...but as far as getting a Megan Good or a Rihanna...not gonna happen.


Colt Williams's picture


Yessir, I am. But, I know plenty of white boys who can spit a clean verse, so it's all good.

I don't want this to sound cliche at all, but in terms of getting black girls, you have to be yourself. BUT, you have to be a really confident version of yourself. If you're strong and confident, and tell a girl straight up, "Hey, I love superheroes" or "Hey, I'm a nerd" which are the kinds of things I've said to plenty of girls, and you own it, and get excited about it: that is your "swag." Girls who say you don't have swag are really saying that you are trying too hard to impress them.

And if you can't have an intelligent conversation with a girl (it sounds like you're a smart guy), that's probably a girl you want to screen out anyway.

I know plenty of "thugs" who are secretly into anime and cartoons and a bunch of other nerdy stuff. It's actually really funny. But yea, just don't go into things thinking "She's more 'hood' and I'm more 'nerdy'." Just go in thinking, "she's cute, I'm gonna go talk to her." And it's the same with any girl you can't go in thinking "she's white" or "she's asian" and "i'm black." She's just a girl and you're just a guy.

So, try to build up that confidence and project the things that you're passionate about. Then you'll have all the swag you need.


Inferno's picture

Hey colt great aricle. As another black male what hairstyle do you feel you've had the most success with? I had my hair in cornrows for a while, and i got many reactions from people telling me I look latino.
I have had even cuts for most of my life but I feel that i look l like everyone else. Any opinions?

Colt Williams's picture


Don't get cornrows.

Now that that's out of the way, don't get an even cut either. OR, if you do get an even cut, always get a nice part. For a couple months I was rocking the Drake part (see the cover of Nothing Was the Same) and I've been loving that. If you don't get a part, think about getting waves.

But, I pretty much ALWAYS have some kind of fade. I think fades look the best. Sometimes I'll have a blast fade like Kendrick lamar:

Other times I'll have a shadow fade (which is a more even fade):

If I want my hair a little longer, I'll go for the 2013 version of the hi-top fade like my boy Fab:

Those are pretty much my opinions. Try to set yourself apart with your haircut. And keep clean cut facial hair (don't shave it all off) if you have facial hair.

Hope that gives you a bunch to think about


PinotNoir's picture

This is unrelated, but that picture of the black guy and white girl sharing that ice cream cone just cracks me up. Like, what the hell is going on there haha.

Thanks for the article. I sent it to a couple of my friends (as I am not black), so I hope it helps them. But if I see them sharing an ice cream cone like that with any girl (white/black/etc.), I'm going to slap them in the face.

Colt Williams's picture


Thank for passing the article on! Hah, I kinda like the ice cream cone! Guess I'll have to get slapped...


Anonymous's picture

Hey Colt,

Nice article; though I am not black, I am moderately dark skinned and find the substance here to be quite useful for dating outside of your own circle and/or race.

Do you think that the principles you outlined (minus the types of white girls) are pretty interchangeable with any combo of persons? Say, an Indian or Latin guy wanted to get with an Asian girl, is that the same kind of process? I imagine the main difference is figuring out the types of girls that might be interested and how to handle them.

Keep it up man!

Anonymous's picture

What if I'm a half white half black guy? I'm an intelligent guy average looking I guess and prefer white girls, but never had any luck.

Niran's picture

Great read, I just feel like it lacked detail, it was like saying if I asked for advice for an interview and you said "be yourself" I'm also black and slot of white girls have said to me, they think I'm good looking, or fancied me but I'm either too intimidating, unapproachable or they didn't think I'd be interested in them... Am I alone with this jungle fever cure? It's only after they see me interact with other people they feel they can talk to me or put their gaurs down when I talk to them...

Carl's picture

I am a black male

The entire premise of the article is a bit....just a bit racist... because it ASSumes white women are a prize

They are not

They are no better or worse than other women

I find all women attractive.

I don't prefer white women over black women or black women over white women or asian women.

Generally speaking most women prefer men of their own race. But I would say that white men have the advantage when it comes to dating outside there race.

Black men have a disadvantage

Many people underestimate that a majority of women are totally closed off to the idea of dating a black man or any other man outside her race for whatever reason.

White men will have the advantage with white and non white women as long as the system of racism exists to DEVALUE anything that is not white.

If white dudes had to compete on level ground they would be assed out of the dating game.

I also believe skin shade is important a half black/ half white do have it a lot easier than those of the darker complexion, such as akon.

Also it depends on which country you are in. Black guys could never score on a constant basis in most of Southern Europe or even France, because White people there are much more race-conscious, care much less about political correctness, and even if some girls are open to hooking up with Black guys, they would worry about their reputation.

On the other hand, countries like Sweden, Finland and Estonia will be much easier, not only because women there are not used to seeing much darer men, but more people are open to interracial hook-ups.

But generally speaking most women don't find black men attractive. Unless that black guy is some runway model, NFL, NBA player or some celeb But a regular looking, everyday black guy ? He faces an uphill battle, no matter how tight his game is

Anonymous's picture

I'm black as well and I agree.
It's unfortunate but true. i realized this as recently as I witness that I get rejected by even fat and ugly white girls in favor for white guys. It doesn't even matter how unattractive the white guy is. He will always get picked over me.

Anonymous's picture

Black man here,
It's kind of racist where I live (my highschool was actually on the news for it). How can I get white girls who are racist or against dating black men? I've had girls literally say "you're too dark" or "I don't date black men."

blackboybitsbrad1953's picture

I'm a good ol' black Canadian lad,60,with boyish good looks,a muscular build-I'm 5'9",200 lb.,18-inch arms-who's attempting to launch a Country song-writing career,and said to resemble a handsome black cowboy stud IN AND OUT of my Wranglers and other casual and/or Western attire.I'm TOTALLY into buxom blondes and Hispanic gals between 25 and 40-AND VICE VERSA!!!!
Even today,chicks approach me at bars/pubs,at concerts,even in stores,etc.,I MEAN BUXOM BABES HALF MY AGE!!!-BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN HIT ON BY A BLACK CHICK,though of course,I'm into chesty black babes.

blackboybitsbrad1953's picture

How 'bout us black cowboys?Can we get buxom white cowgirls/farmers' daughters?

blackboybitsbrad1953's picture


Nya's picture

I found this article by accident and found it very interesting. I'm a 23 yr old black woman from FL. My boyfriend is (29) is white. We've been dating for four months., but I've known him about eight. When we first met (in a bar!!) I thought he was GORGEOUS. We made eye contact and started up a random convo. There was instant chemistry, but neither of us made a move because he was in a relationship at the time (with a very beautiful white woman who ultimately cheated on him... Her loss). About a week after they broke up, he asked me to dinner. He'd just moved here from Maine and didn't know anyone. I was aware of the breakup and his job relocation. Honestly, I felt like the rebound, and never anticipated bring where we are now, but I thought he was hot and wanted to smash lol, so I went for it!
We hung out as friends and textd about a month. In that time we didn't have full sexual intercourse, but we did get stoned and mess around (read HEAD lol). I was still talking to other people casually because I was single, and it wasn't something I felt obligated to hide or discuss. It just was what it was.

Contrary to statements in the previous posts, I was down for a casual relationship, but he was soooooo shy and self conscious and vulnerable, it just wasn't possible. One night after a really cool date, he asked me not to see other people. It was a simple conversation. I figured, if a genuinely nice guy is into me and wants a chance at a relationship, why not? He said he's not getting any younger and he's not interested in messing around anymore, so why not settle down and see if we can have something with longevity and real commitment... I mean, who says that nowadays?! The dude is a catch, and it's not because he's white, it's because he's sweet and so much to offer just as a person. Id be a fool not to give him a chance, and I can honestly say its one of the best decisions I've ever made.
We just celebrated our first month in our new condo. He moved me out of my tiny studio downtown because he hated it lol. It was little, but even his uncle liked the way I decorated it. I cooked him dinner every day after work, I cut his hair. At the time, I was working. I have my own car. One of my bookshelves displayed all the heels that wouldn't fit in my tiny closet or under the bed, and he always said he liked that I was a girly girl. I took care of myself without a man, so it made him want to give me things. I never had a guy do that before- black or white!

Ever since high school I've dated other ethnicities, not because they were better, but because I like PEOPLE! I like experiencing other cultures and learning new things. If a man is interested in me, I'm going to evaluate him as a person and then judge the outward appearance. I never understood why so many black men put black women down. I think we're gorgeous, and ironically, many women from other ethnicities appropriate our traits and are praised for them! (Which I will never understand, but that's a discussion for another day)
As a black woman, I can't put down black men. They're my brothers! If I insult them, I insult myself and my history and my father! I'm 100% attracted to my own race, but I happened to fall in love with someone who is different. I fell in love with a man, not a color. He's respectful and honest and hardworking., and committed. He supports my goals and ambitions, not just by verbally endorsing them, but also by giving me the opportunity to pursue them. Sometimes he makes passionate love to me, and sometimes he's a freak! lol I'm happy with that. A man is a man. To me, we're all more or less the same. You have to find someone who's worth your time and who accepts you for who you are.

People are always going to judge, but as long as you know why you're with that person, and they respect you, and you respect yourself, it really shouldn't be that difficult. The trick is accepting a person for who they are and not trying to be something you're not. If you do that, you'll get laid easier anyway lol and if you're lucky, you might even fall in love.

Oreo Jr.'s picture

I don't have a problem talking to white. Infact, I am really good at communicating with them. But I am never really able to get them to bed with me. I had a few of their numbers from school and from the bars. But they always say they are busy to hangout. And I don't like sound to strong to ask them to bed. My question is how should I go about it, when I get a white girls number from parties that I really want to get laid with? Or how to I make them come out without making several excuses?

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