A good buddy of mine who I’ve recently taken under my wing has gotten into the swing of approaching women. Last week, he found himself going shopping for some sexy, stylish clothing, when he realized that the woman behind the counter was drop-dead gorgeous. Like most men, he smiled, took his purchase, and left.
Afterwards, he had one big question to ask me:
“How do I talk to her when she’s busy at work?”
This is a question that pops up quite frequently over at the Girls Chase forums as well. Most men take these women and assume that they are hands-off to being picked up. A woman at work simply isn’t a sex option in their minds, because they believe that she is too busy with another task. After all – she is working.
Why Go for “Hired Guns”?
Most men contend that even when you encounter a very cute hired gun like this, you should just let her go. There are plenty of other women out there, right?
Very true. There are a lot of women out there in the world, and if you fail with one you can always move onto another.
However, every time that you knock out a group of women, your dating pool shrinks. And shrinks. And shrinks. Suddenly, you find yourself with too many specifications and too little options for a relationship – you’re back at square one.
There’s no reason to eliminate these women from being approached that purely stems from the fact that they are working.
Most women out there have some sort of job that they’re busy doing – whether it be a part-time model taking shifts at the bar, or a professional behind the desk at a prestigious company. These women are often some of the most beautiful in the area, because they have to look presentable for work – giving reason to the need to learn how to approach them in such a complex situation.
With each job comes a different method, which is why I have here in detailed the 5 most common situations in which men want to approach women at work but have no idea what to do or how to do it.
#1 – Retail Store Workers
Women behind the counter or walking about any retail store are often the first type of hired gun that most guys will want to or try to approach. They have high attainability and guys are exposed to them on a regular basis.
You’ll usually find that girls in trendier shops are going to be more attractive than those in less desirable work places, but there’s always a good selection of young women working behind the counter almost anywhere you go.
The key with these women, as with all future situations, is that you need to be discreet in approaching them. Oftentimes there are other workers around the area, and if you compromise her social status she is not going to be happy with you.
When you’re actually doing the approach, you need to first take her out of autopilot. She’s used to funneling through and being polite to hundreds of customers a day, so idle chit chat won’t get you anywhere.
I prefer to go direct with these women by paying them a simple compliment followed by, “Are you single?” The compliment disarms and charms the girl, and when she answers the follow up question she’ll instantly be ripped from the casual speak she is used to.
If there is a line for a cashier, casually ask her to drop her number on the receipt as you are leaving the store. Most guys would worry about upsetting the others in line, but I’ve never caught much flak from the line-goers for this one. Often times they’ll be supportive of me asking, supplying a little extra social pressure to get her to write it down in an effort to make the line move a little faster, because I’m a persistent one ;).
If time permits, you can easily flirt with her about the musings of working with people all day, and form a bond to reduce the chances that she flakes on a date. Still, keep the interaction short and sweet, as you don’t want to become a spectacle to other workers – you’re just lingering for a bit longer to form a better, lasting impression.
To form a better picture, here’s a recent conversation I had with a girl stocking clothes:
Me: Wow. You look insanely cute in that attire.
Her: Oh! … Thank you!
Me: No problem. Are you single?
Her: At the moment… Yes. Why do you ask?
Me: Listen, what time do you get off work?
Her: 7 PM. Whyyy are you asking me this –giggle-
Me: Oh. You’re not one of those lame girls who goes to bed right after work, are you?
Her: No! I eat first, then go to sleep.
Me: Perfect. Are you available tonight?
After this, we figured out the logistics a bit, and decided it would be best that I left with a number and we set up the date for some time during the upcoming weekend.
As you can see, interactions with these women aren’t much different from other interactions. Short, sweet, and to the point works best here, as lingering too long can feel like you’re sucking up her time, rather than creating a necessary interaction to move things forward.
#2 – The Waitress
Waitresses are almost always cute. After all, their salaries tend to ride on their impressions with customers.
I’ve found that waitresses are by far the easiest workingwomen to pick up.
One time, while out on a late lunch break, a girl told me that her coworker wanted to take her section simply because I was seated there. Preselection definitely acted in my favor that day, and this example just goes to show that these women are extremely open to meeting new people.
However, most guys have trouble differentiating between flirting and waitresses ‘just being nice’ when they contemplate closing these women. This is why you must always assume attraction. Even if you’re wrong, you still took the chance, which is the only way you’ll find the girls who really want you.
When it comes to particular strategies with these women, keep in mind that they’re personally attempting to have you form a bond with them. Great waitresses will deep dive you, and try and make you feel attracted – rarely does it go the other way around for them.
Therefore, stay vigilant in deep dives, and always reveal sparse information about yourself. Get her investing more effort in you than you are investing in her, and keep such commentary going on throughout the interaction.
Eventually, when it comes to the ending of your conversation, talk to her as if she’s an old friend. Waitresses are especially careful in giving out their number to customers, as they’ve been told not to do it, so it’ll take some persistence on your part.
Be sure to end on a positive note – and try to tip her based on her service, rather than based off her bust size.
#3 – The Saleswoman
Ah... the saleswoman is a particularly tricky variety to seduce, as she’s actively working towards trying to convince you to buy her products – instead of buying into yours.
Luckily for you, saleswomen can get heavily invested in their customers in an attempt to sell a product. Each customer is special to them, and they’re constantly working on confirming the sale.
Such a phenomenon can easily be used to your advantage, because you can grab her contact information and get her out on a date (though she won’t call it one).
In order to win these women over, you have to play the slow game with the sale, but not with her.
Prolonging the sale keeps her working for more, which only reinforces the perspective that she’s working to get you. But at the same time that she’s trying to tell you about her great products, you’re trying to get her to look at your “products”.
As a result, you’re going to end up in a frame battle. After all, you’re in it for the seduction, and she’s trying to confirm a sale.
She’ll become attracted to you without really paying much attention to it, because she isn’t working the angle of the mating game. She still wants to sell her product, but she’s also going to be after something else, provided you do your job right – namely, raunchy sex.
#4 – The Doctors and Nurses
Unlike most of the previous situations, a doctor is someone that legitimately has her hands full. Doctors notoriously have full schedules and cannot stay in one area for long, because people are constantly in need of assistance.
Because of this, it is extremely hit or miss with them.
When time is in a crunch, always go for direct game. There is nothing more potent and polarizing than a man who is able to go directly after what he wants.
Thankfully, most of the time that you’re interacting with doctors and nurses, you don’t have to be as discreet, as it’s often in a closed off environment. Simply talking with them about something other than ‘this weird mole’ will knock them out of autopilot, because they don’t typically go past talking about more than that.
As always, try and get the number before the interaction closes. Ideally, do it on a high point when you’re still talking to each other, otherwise she’ll realize she has business to attend to and ignore such requests.
#5 – Everything In Between
The previous four examples may seem random to the eye, and that’s because there are so many different jobs out there – these are just the most common hired gun situations that most guys will run into.
That’s why there’re the distinctions between each of the jobs that there are – ranging from the hardly busy store clerk to the extremely busy doctor. With each profession comes a different set of time constraints and changes in logistics.
Those are the things that you have to pay particular attention to when approaching women who are working, because if you fail to understand where she is coming from it can become extremely difficult to form any type of connection. You’ll be an outsider in her eyes – someone who just doesn’t get it.
That’s why, for any other situation, it is important to deduce the following variables:
- How much time do you have to talk to her?
- How discreet do you need to be?
- Which opening will pull her out of autopilot?
- What techniques can you use to close her discreetly and efficiently?
It’s the same basic formula that I followed for each and every one of those particular situations. Empathy is key to getting these women, and you really have to know their situation inside and out if you have any hopes of moving things forward.
Wrapping Things Up
I gave my friend from the introduction a much shorter version of this. My answer?
“Approach her like you know you should any other woman, and ignore the fact that she’s working.”
That’s because, for nearly every guy out there, their biggest fear is that they’ll be bugging her in the middle of work.
I oftentimes approach these women without paying any attention to the fact that they are in the middle of their job. Sure, I’m aware of the fact, and act according to my answers to the time and logistics questions, but nearly every guy makes the fact that she’s working the single most limiting factor of their interaction.
As a result, they bring it up, “Hey, I know you’re working, but can you give me your number?”
And she’s thrown right back into her world of work, where she realizes that she is working, and ought to be paying attention to that – not the cute boys.
She stalls and says, “No, I just can’t do that at work.” The guy seems to understand, and leaves her alone.
That’s the defining characteristic that limits guys with these approaches. Pay no mind to the fact that she’s working – treat it like you would any other distraction in a woman’s life.
In this scenario, you will no longer be the man that is distracting her from her job. The job is distracting her from forming a great relationship.
Understand that point, and you can move on in all encounters with women that you previously thought just wouldn’t justify an approach because it would be limiting to her. The restrictions on your dating pool will be freed, and you can go into interactions knowing that any outcome is better than no outcome.