Men are nuanced beings in many ways, but there are also some very certain ways in which men are actually quite simple. And there are a few things about all men that I know to be true:
Men like hot girls (whatever “hot” means to them and assuming that they’re straight)
Men like getting laid (no further qualification needed here)
Men (straight men, anyway) like getting laid with hot girls
And yet, the unfortunate truth is that so few men are able to make it to step three. Some guys get laid with massive infrequency and with mediocre looking girls. Some guys are unable to bring hot girls into their lives, and if they do, are only able to do so playing the role of orbiter or solid friend zone friend. Some guys are able to sleep with a hot girl by fluke or once in a blue moon.
And then there are the few. The few men who are able to get laid with a high amount of consistency – regardless of location – with the most beautiful of women. They don’t do so all the time, but definitely often enough to keep the good times rolling. And even when they come short, they have enough core confidence to not even care anyway.
So today I want to talk to you about how to become one of the few.
Be On Your Game Everywhere
I recently went to a daytime art collective with a good friend of mine. There were a lot of snooty art people there, and businessmen, and indie artists, and more or less every manner of art appreciator you can imagine. It was a fairly formal environment in which people seemed focused on creating business from the event.
But not I, said the walrus. I saw a really beautiful girl who was a painter and clothing designer. Now, these days I don’t really think twice about approaching girls wherever, but there was something about this environment that made me stop and think: “Am I allowed to try to game this girl here?” Naturally, I decided to do it anyway. She and I began talking about her artwork and she told me that she was going to have a bigger showcase later that night.
I was reading the subtext pretty well, so I told her: “Great, I’ll be back in a few hours to keep flirting with you.” And the night ended up turning into all the free champagne I could drink… and other, nicer, naughtier things behind the scenes, away from public eyes. My initial hesitations, needless to say, were assuaged.
But the question is: how do you get to the point where you can set up getting laid wherever you are?
Let’s go through the key tips.
Tip #1: Look Beyond the Bar
I think that one of the most important tips that I can share in terms of setting yourself up for getting laid anywhere is to make an important mental shift. I know that a lot of guys hear about day game, or think about day game, but they don’t actually do any day game.
And for the purposes of this article, let me also expand the definition of “day game”. Day game isn’t only gaming when the sun is in the middle of the sky; day gaming also includes gaming in places that aren’t traditionally considered “seduction” environments.
For example, if you game a girl in a Wal-Mart at 10pm, even though it’s not technically the daytime (barring being in Alaska), I still consider it day game because it’s not an environment guys typically associate with hitting on girls.
And there are far more opportunities to seduce girls outside of a bar (and far easier I might add) than there are in a bar setting. But the problem is: a lot guys don’t give themselves permission to try to seduce girls outside of a bar, club, or party.
When they think about day game, they have thoughts about:
- Approach anxiety
- Cold girls and icier rejections
- Being judged socially
- Not being in the “zone”
- Being too sober to succeed
- Girls being too busy or too important to waste their time on a man
- Failing in front of their friends
- Feeling generally stupid because it just “isn’t done”
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you? They should, because I think about every man in most of the West has had one or more of these thoughts at one point in time. And I would bet that most men still have these thoughts on a daily basis. They see a hot girl, tell themselves that they should talk her, and then just let her walk away, like they do with every hot girl they see on a daily basis.
But the only way you’ll get to the point of getting laid with hot girls wherever you are is to give yourself permission to game girls wherever you are. You have to tell yourself that it’s okay to speak seductively to a girl in a restaurant, or store, or on the street, or on a bus.
And I’ll say right now: yes, it does feel strange at first. If you’re hitting on a girl in broad daylight it can feel like you’re very “exposed”. It can feel like there are people lurking around the corner waiting to point their fingers at you when you fail or when you make yourself look awkward. It can feel like you’re being a nuisance to a girl who probably has something better to do. Ask me how I know that.
But I promise with enough day approaches that feeling really does start to wear off as you transform yourself into a man of action. Ask me how I know that one.
So focus your mental energy on how things will go right instead of how they could fall apart. Think about:
Acting in spite of your approach anxiety.
Girls are people too who are warm and just want to connect.
No one cares what you’re doing. Don’t be so conceited. And if they look at you, you’ll never see them again anyway.
If you want to boost your game, you have to understand the idea of warming up. Even LeBron takes practice shots. Even Messi runs pregame sprints. You won’t be on your game with your first approach. Just know that and do it anyway, using it as a springboard for later success.
If you want to be a master seducer, you have to learn how to operate sober. You can’t rely on alcohol as a crutch for your game or core confidence. If you need to build core confidence, start from the ground up instead of throwing on the alcohol Band-Aid.
Find friends who know what you’re about. Or tell your friends that you’re going to game girls no matter what. That’s what I told my friends in the beginning. It was a bit awkward at first, but now they’ve all come around. And we all go out and day game, and analyze and boost each other up. Sometimes it just takes someone bold to lead the charge.
It is done. Period. You just have to make it your reality.
Tip #2: Stay in a Social Mood
One of the biggest mistakes that beginners and intermediates make is trying to approach girls without getting their social momentum churning even a little bit. What I mean by that is they will walk out of their house, or their office, after just having watched Netflix or stared at a spreadsheet for four hours, and then think about opening a girl.
But the thing is, even the most advanced of guys need to go through the process of getting themselves in the zone. So in order to get off at least a halfway decent approach, especially if you have approach anxiety, you should talk to as many people as you can.
And I don’t mean just feign interest, either. I mean stopping to chat up the old lady at the convenience store and actually caring about how her day is going. Or seeing that well-dressed professional walking down the street and giving him a genuine compliment followed by sincerely wanting to know where he got his blazer.
Additional note: it’s of the utmost importance to limit your time between interactions. That doesn’t mean sprinting from one conversation to another like a madman, but it does mean not letting the momentum fizzle out. Because once you let your momentum fizzle out, you have to start the process of rebuilding it, right from the beginning again. So save yourself the trouble and try to keep your energy up and your number of interactions increasing.
And you’ll notice that, as time goes on, starting interactions and keeping the flow of socializing will become easier and easier until the point where you’re not even making yourself do it anymore. You’ll get to the point where you want to do it.
And finally, find a way to keep your energy going while you’re not talking to people. If that means listening to music and bobbing your head, or singing to yourself, or practicing a presentation – just make sure that you find a way to keep your muscles active and your mind primed for socializing, otherwise the constant shifting will really throw you off. This is one of the most important process tweaks that guys who get laid anywhere and who master day game make.
Tip #3: Open as Many Girls as Possible
Some more advanced guys say that target selection is as important as a solid approach process. While I do agree with this perspective, I think that it’s more valuable and appropriate for high-intermediate and advanced guys. Most beginners and low intermediates don’t know how to identify proper approach invitations. Moreover, they need to learn how to calibrate their approach to various women; and this ability only comes from having tons and tons of varying experiences and failing a lot.
So even though this post is about getting laid with hot girls, only targeting hot girls would be a tactical error. The best frame to come from is to treat all girls like they are hot. This will get you in the right mindset of being flirtatious with all females, and avoiding putting any one individual girl on a pedestal.
Additionally, opening as many girls as you can will help you understand outcome independence. Another important mental shift that guys who are good at getting laid with hot girls make is that they know that anywhere from 60%-85% of their efforts will yield nothing in terms of tangible results. However, they will be invaluable in terms intangible results.
They will teach lessons in:
- deep diving
- pregnant pauses
- improvisational thinking
- masculine energy
… and a million other aspects of game that can’t be taught by just reading materials.
So even though as a beginner you may not be getting laid that often, you’re constantly building up your acumen with every approach. And when you build up your acumen with every approach… and you vary your approach style, repertoire, and location… you’ll inevitably get to the point where you can seduce hot girls wherever you are.
Tip #4: Plant Many Seeds
When you’re out and about, you will meet many different girls in a million different life circumstances. And it’s very likely that you’ll meet girls who are genuinely interested, but just don’t have the time to come and hang out with you right that second. Or maybe you’ll meet a girl who is in the midst of a life emergency or breaking up with her boyfriend.
It’s not your job to make every situation work if the circumstances are out of your hand. But you’ll never know when your number will come up, so don’t be afraid to plant seeds. If a girl is really busy, give her your number and tell her to text you when she is free/less stressed/single – whatever the situation may be.
Simply planting a seed and making yourself out to be a chill, fun, viable option can sometimes manifest itself into a great date or sexual encounter. Most seeds won’t yield anything. But every once in a while, a small seed can lead into a great big encounter.
Tip #5: Be the Party
The mistake that a lot of guys make is that they try to use women to boost their state or make their day/night more interesting. I go out with a lot of guys who see their outing as a letdown or a failure if it doesn’t include a positive interaction with a girl. Rather than focusing on improving their process or taking action, they focus on what kind of reaction they get from their girl and base the entire validation of their efficacy as men on it.
However, it should be the exact opposite. With women, you should be the one boosting their state. In the same way that a man should lead an interaction on a pragmatic level, he should be leading it on an emotional level as well. Her mirror neurons will be filling her with whatever emotions you’re feeling, so you need to be exuding a positive vibe if you want to get one from her.
Whenever I go out and interact with women, they very often tell me that I’m really fun, along with being well-dressed and sexy. This is some of the most positive feedback I can get from a girl, because I know that they are attracted to me without feeling the pressure of me actually needing anything from them.
This is an extremely hard balance to strike, but it’s one of the most certain indicators of great progress. Whenever you can give a girl a great time and show your sexual interest for her without actually needing her, it will always make her massively attracted.
Tip #6: Talk to Her Like a Woman (No Really, be a Sexy Man)
We keep saying on this site that women value and are looking for sexy men. There is a reason we keep reiterating this point over and over again. Too many guys try to beat around the bush when talking with girls, scared to “offend” her or turn her off by saying anything even mildly sexual – or even implying it.
But girls aren’t pristine little angels. In fact, they are quite naughty. They like sex more than guys. And they are looking for guys who will bring out that side of them. And the only way you can do that is by being a sexy man. Learn to read subtext.
One of my exes really summed it up quite poignantly during a conversation we recently had: “Every girl is dirty. It’s just a matter of whether or not she tells you about it.”
Tip #7: Close Clear, Close Hard
If you want to be one of the few getting laid with beautiful girls, the girl should never walk away from an interaction unsure of what you want from her.
- If you want her number, then make a date with her first, and then get her number.
- If you want to see her later that day/night, then make that clear.
- If you want to pull her then and there, then make a plan, and act.
If you do plan on pulling her – unless it’s completely on – plan on it being messy. This is something that beginners aren’t told often enough and intermediates have to unfortunately discover on their own. It’s very rare that a girl will just start walking back to your apartment without a word of protest – especially if it’s at night.
If you want to get laid with a hot girl, you absolutely have to be a problem solver. You have to address her objections and take it one step at a time. Don’t think about what you’ll do once you get back to your apartment. Think about getting her to the coffee shop nearby first. Or even just to the end of the block.
You: Sarah, I’ve been having a great time talking to you. It’s not often I meet cute girls at JC Penney. How about we go for a quick coffee at that great spot down the street?
Her: Umm… I don’t know. It’s kind of been a crazy day. I might just go home.
You: Here, let’s just walk out of the door and see how you feel.
You walk out of the door…You: Look. The coffee shop is literally right there. It’ll take thirty seconds to get there. Just keep talking with me for five minutes. If you want to throw the coffee in my face and run away after five minutes, I won’t be mad, okay?
Her: Haha, okay! Let’s do it?
You get outside of the coffee shop…You: You know what? I completely forgot that my friend was going to drop something off for my job. I really need to see if he did that. My apartment is just right there. Let’s drop by real quick and I promise it’ll take two seconds.
And keep in mind: she’s not going to enthusiastically agree to everything you suggest. But as long as she keeps following you, that’s all that matters.
And once you get to your place…
You: Actually, I have way better coffee here that’s free. Just grab a seat, and let this master barista whip you up something delicious.
Her: Haha okay, okay. But I do have to go soon.
Learning how to seduce girls when you’re not just at a bar, club, or party can be really, really enjoyable. It allows you to expand your repertoire of seduction skills and expose yourself to a wider range of types in the women you meet. And if you stick to it and follow these seven tips, you may even be getting laid before you know it.