Gentleman Escalation: Class and Sex Appeal in One


gentleman escalationSo there you are, standing completely stunned. You’ve just met a stunner, and you honestly don’t know what to do.

She was gorgeous, and even more astoundingly, she left smiling! You aren’t used to that level of attention from such a hottie... so you start scrambling.

You start worrying about all the mistakes you must avoid when talking to her.

You analyse every future encounter; and, once you have gone through each one with a fine-toothed comb, you’re left still a little unsure - and decide to stay on the safe side.

NO!

Let me teach you that, you cannot play it safe as a gentleman: you have to have MORE guts if you choose this path, and accept that you are MORE likely to lose her than not!

You need to have more outcome independence, because being a gentleman doesn’t mean you will never lose a girl; rather, it means that you are fearless in the face of everything going wrong and remain calm.

A gentleman escalates not because he has a doubt in his mind of if the girl wants him; he escalates because after the time he had to think about it, he is pretty sure.

Let’s rewind though.


gentleman escalation

Our minds don’t seem to work very well when we get into these kinds of situations. You know, the hot-girl-seems-to-like-me kind of situation. So bizarre is this situation in our minds that our best attempts at creating a strategy often end up with us playing the card we are given and to not questioning it or wanting to change it up.

You know it is tragic to be thought of as a gentleman only, but what choice do you have when all the other choices you have around you seem to burst her bubble and reveal you for the imposter you feel you are!

  • What if she suddenly realises you have a debauched perversion when it comes to cleavage and that you can’t help but be mesmerised?

  • What if she realises that you would jump at the chance to get her in bed without even a moment’s hesitation?

  • What if it suddenly turns her cold?

You know you have at least a chance pretending to be a gentleman... you know logically that she likes you... but when it comes to the next incredibly bold step forward, you find yourself at a loss for words or deeds.

You crumble under the pressure and you end up asking, “What do I do now?” and hold your breath in the hope that this will play out well.

Unfortunately, your over analysing situations has robbed you of your normal casual flow, and you feel so tense that you have no choice but to disqualify yourself from all future interactions. You stand away in the distance trying to figure out what to do where she can’t see you thinking about her.

She does like you, though, so seeing her again is inevitable... so it isn’t all bad news. Thus, you do what you can: you adapt. You come up with a few assumptions that will see you “ready to go”.


A Gentleman Never Escalates

... right?

He just shows up?

Touches base with her?

Shoots her a smile or two...

(*ahem* bad move *ahem*)

If only you could play your usual debauched game on this “kind of girl”... how much simpler would it be!

gentleman escalation

... But you can’t!

And every time you interact in a platonic manner you start to sweat as you realise that you are consistently removing yourself from her radar as a sexual option, and heading straight for the friend zone.

The initial sparks start to eventually wear off into something more akin to a polite chuckle and a nod, and then... Nothing... From gorgeous mystery man to best buds in record time! And the girl then shrugs and says, “Must have just been my eyes playing tricks on me”. And at last, the seduction is at rest, and you are firmly on the outside looking in thinking “Damn... that fooled me good, guess she didn’t even like me, oh well”. You then continue on with your life until it happens again.

And nothing changes; its the same thing all over again.

You met this stunning girl, felt you had an ace up your sleeve, and then after the whole hand played out, you were left there only ace high, bluffing. She is confused, you are confused, we are all confused. Nobody wins.

We’ve all been there, we watch as the guy with a two and a seven gets a full house whilst our initial optimism shows itself as an overestimation of our outlook. We turn from a gentleman into a guy that doesn’t think ahead and chokes. We become a gentleman that can’t escalate.

What if I told you that you can both be a gentleman and escalate, and by doing so avoid watching those girls slip away?

What if I told you that it is possible for you to become a guy that not only can do it, but becomes so used to it that it carries a feeling of being the masculine equivalent of demure?


gentleman escalation

The first step in curing yourself of this tragic fate is to realise that whenever a girl thinks you are a gentleman it doesn’t mean the game is won. You have actually just inherited a ticket to the high octane world that is how a gentleman plays the game.

There is no less risk involved, and in fact, whilst all men think they are capable of being a gentleman, few men are actually capable of both being a gentleman AND having red hot game to go with it.

The benefit of a gentleman’s game is not that it always wins but how it wins, and when. I can guarantee you that if you play a gentleman’s odds right, you can go home with a stunner... instead of sneaking off into the background.


Take On the Risk

Being gently stated should never be used as an excuse to be non-existent on a girl’s radar. You can’t be a gentleman about rejection and your responsibility to give her a good time. Every guy has to break this gentle facade at some point. No one can act upright at all times, and it is unrealistic to think she expects that of you (she doesn’t).

In order to start playing your hand you actually have to break facade and “relax”. To do this, break the gentleman’s facade under the notion that it is “just for her”, and give her a nudge or wink that suggests that you will take on “the risk” that is being her number one sexual option.

By breaking the facade, you give her an “inside road” or a “fast track” to attaining what was before distant and unattainable, and it allows her to count you as a very real choice on her radar screen.


Show Sexuality Specific to Her

Give her friends and other women a gentleman’s attention, but be sure that she gets that and a little bonus when you talk to her, so that her friends say “but he only flirts with you”. Frame it so that the “gentleman” is for everybody, and that relaxed part of you is specific to her, and she will start to look at you “as a gentleman” whom she has a sexy connection with.

This will engage her social group to push her towards you, and you can soak up the attention and make her an offer she can’t refuse by constantly building the sexual connection rather than the gentlemanly facade:

  • Introduce a few stories that start to give her a bigger picture of you.

  • Talk about her interests in a way she doesn’t expect a gentleman to be able.

  • And tell her how sexy she is, whilst looking her directly in the eye.

In the end, a gentleman escalates by having the confidence to reveal his sexual side when it is time. Everything he does stacks his chips into a longer term payoff, knowing that the woman loves the sexual connection she has to this man, not just the image.

To get a girl hot and to escalate whilst being a gentleman, you need to assume greater risk than normal. You need to be even more keenly aware that you can lose the girl at any time. And you need the outcome independence to go out and get another girl if she falls through so that you project no neediness on her.

A gentleman is no less ruthless, or able to get dirty than any other man. He simply has mastered what it means to accept the possibility of an alternate reaction than what he is fairly sure is true.

Don’t be the gentleman that “touches base”; be the one that she might earn the right to reveal as an impassioned man. At every opportunity, tighten and enhance the sexual connection, and allow her to eventually only see the gentleman when outside of the bedroom and out and about with other women. Allow her to know that sexy guy, more than any other girl, and give her the paradigm shift moments, like bread crumbs leading her into your sexy embrace.

You cannot play it safe as a gentleman: you have to have MORE guts if you choose this path, and accept that you are MORE likely to lose her than not!

You need to have more outcome independence, because being a gentleman doesn’t mean to never lose a girl it means that he is fearless in the face of everything going wrong and remains calm.

A gentleman escalates not because he has a doubt in his mind of if the girl wants him; he escalates because after the time he had to think about it, he is pretty sure.


Assume the Risk: Introduce a Break of the Facade

gentleman escalationMake it seem special, a way of enhancing your connection, and exclusive to her when she behaves.

Because every woman deep down wants the gentleman for the deep sexual connection he can create, not for the situations he can avoid.

Consistency is a gentleman’s biggest friend, and it is also his curse.

In the end it is the stunners that make us act like gentlemen, and it is the gentlemen inside us that can provide the most stunning ending for the woman. For as a man, you are stunned at first sight, but for her, this experience will come, right at the end, as you finally reveal that behind the gentleman, how debauched and sexy you really are.

Make her feel like you noticed that she has deserved a passionate and patient reveal. Instead of allowing her to back away in shock, allow her hand to crumple that clean shirt; allow passion to reveal the gentleman as the “wrappings” of the ultimate prize.

Ultimately, women want passionate love and sex, but they also want that wrapped in the acceptance of a very crisp and clear man. A gentleman, only reveals that second side at the moment the girl earns it, and so for her the reveal is even more of a turn on because she is getting to see something rare, that none of her friends dating hustlers have ever experienced.

A gentleman, who is sexy as all hell, when she finally gets enough leverage to take his tie off.

That, my friends, is how a gentleman blows a girl’s mind.

Cody Lyans

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Very poetic and yet drives


Very poetic and yet drives the point home properly.

Thanks

blogster's picture

Vague....


Have to be honest, this article is confusing and I am not sure what it is trying to say or what to take away to put into action:

"You met this stunning girl, felt you had an ace up your sleeve, and then after the whole hand played out, you were left there only ace high, bluffing. She is confused, you are confused, we are all confused. Nobody wins."

Huh?

"Because every woman deep down wants the gentleman for the deep sexual connection he can create, not for the situations he can avoid."

Huh?

"The first step in curing yourself of this tragic fate is to realise that whenever a girl thinks you are a gentleman it doesn’t mean the game is won. You have actually just inherited a ticket to the high octane world that is how a gentleman plays the game. "

Huh?

"Ultimately, women want passionate love and sex, but they also want that wrapped in the acceptance of a very crisp and clear man. A gentleman, only reveals that second side at the moment the girl earns it"

Huh?

Perhaps you can break this down simply?

Cody Lyans's picture

When attraction comes with a

Author

When attraction comes with a difficult contingency you can't directly contradict the woman or she'll freak or not know what is going on. So instead of contradicting her expectations, you infact roll with them, because in her mind a "gentleman" is capable of a sexual connection. The number one signal that he has a sexual interest in her is that he will break his ordinary facade and be sexual with her because he wants to.

Most guys freak out, and hang back or contradict the girl or act very tentatively. What you want to do is break down walls rather than build attraction. And because she thinks of you as pure or whatever, adding a little sexy, has a much bigger impact than when, she assumes you are average and you pile on the appeal.

Its like the difference between smart attraction and dumb attraction, one is where you throw a lot of it out hoping one thing will connect, and the other is making sure every little bit counts because you can't make mistakes.

The key to keeping those small reveals sexy rather than misdirected, is to understand that she can totally understand that a gentleman has an abundance of sexuality behind the mask. However, she also expects a certain way it will be revealled or presented if it does exist.

What the girl will pay attention to is how you make your reveals. So, you need to frame, why you hide your sexuality instead of convince her on you.
- I take bigger risks, because anyone can just be sexual
- I like to see who I'm talking to first
- I want the time I have with a woman to be better than a rushed thing

A small caress, a little smile, and approving nod with smiling eyes, with a hint of more under the surface can get girls chasing really hard.
It does however assume a lot more risk than normal, because she can get distracted, or maybe you don't time things right and she isn't interested in a chase etc.

The payoffs however balance out the percieved weaknesses in the method because even though you give up some control you get back a level of willingness from the girls and a much higher success rate with stunners. That willingness makes it worthwhile to hide your sexual side until girls earn it.

That then communicates to a girl why you were "such a gentleman" when she first met you was because you are sexually exclusive.

Just think of it as a role play, she thinks you are innocent and that can be for two reasons
a) You are shy or not interested
b) You are sexually exclusive

If you break facade, it signals sexual exclusivity and directly contradicts you being shy or uninterested. Thats great, but so long as you take the situation to a HUGE reveal at the end.
The more confident and risky the gentleman is under that mask, the bigger the payoff for the girl when she can reveal his sexuality in its entirity.

Its a really powerful way to escalate because its somewhat exponential, and only requires hints and signs of accessibility.
But to do that, you have to have the courage to not want an easier solution.

A gentleman assumes a greater risk for being sexual, but he also gives off a greater reward, so you need to understand that just breaking facade is a very powerful escalation.
To concieve of it, imagine you are really famous. If you run after a girl and try to get her attracted she will say "omg, he's so average!", but if she is invited over, she is half thinking "he is just being kind" and "he likes me".
She is going to think it is fishy if that guy then say he likes her a lot because he has only just noticed her. In order to not be fishy he has to paint it like he normally invites girls to his vip booth or whatever, and then later say "hey, you really are sexy like I thought" after he goads such a behaviour out of her.

In this example a little goes a long way because it's not stubborn, it flows with what the girl is thinking and feeling.
And the girl is excited because this famous guy broke facade and it escalated the situation towards the bedroom (because he thinks she is sexy).

Girls cockblock dumb attraction, but they accelerate smart attraction, so her friends will all rally behind her. If this famous guy tells all the girls a dirty story, they will cockblock him or fight over him or expect a group sex thing, because the break of facade is expected to occur only with the one he likes best.

If you focus this break facade on one girl, and take it slow, then she will become very sensitive to your signals (this is her putting in effort) and she will try to become an ideal lover to reciprocate the value you are showing her by choosing her.

So when a girl expects a lot, escalate less, and frame it more as a reveal, because girls will pick up on the possibility that you are VERY sexual once they unlock you. Just make sure that your sexiest self is there to meet them at the end, because they don't want a gentleman in bed :P

Anonymous's picture

Yep, it can be hard to


Yep, it can be hard to understand. There is not that much practical information. Also, there are paragraphs that are repeated. I would expect something like a weiting some reminder or a game plan that chanfes your way of thinking at that point described at the begining, where you are not sure how to proceed next. All I got was - be a gentleman but once escalation window opens up, be bold and assertive and then keep being gentleman until she deserves to see the bold sexual guy.

Cody Lyans's picture

Perhaps I should have added

Author

Some guys HAVE to wait, and yes thats boring, but it will still work, so long as he is ready to shake free of the facade in bed.
But for most guys, the patience and uncertainty it requires you to endure is a good thing to practice(your outcome dependancy must be strong), and is different from the way you might normally progress a seduction.

Keep in mind that this is a totally different way to escalate, so it shouldn't be what you are used to. And ultimately whilst making it respond the way you want it to is very nuanced, the general idea is very lackluster in its simplicity. A simple variation in how you frame and when you are sexually accessible.

Its not less effective because its steep yet simple learning curve, its just not very comfortable unless you are used to it.

You really just have to understand two points.
You MUST give small signals that you will if won over open up totally in the bedroom and then be true to your word.
And you MUST frame the reason WHY you are not pursuing her like an average man (break facade).

Its meant to feel "up in the air", because it is very fragile and you have to be good at reading the timing and judging how much you push into the situation each time. That uncertainty is what makes it difficult, but also what makes it honest. You can't escalate like this if you prefer to be a horndog, you really do have to pay more attention and be more exposed and vulnerable to change.

Its not the most secure way to get women!!! Its one of the most volatile! BUT it is the highest percentage way to pull STUNNERS, in my experience, especially when your introduction left you shakey.

It might not be everything tied down, but when you get stunned, don't back off, just invite her and her friends out politely, and then get her alone and smile at her and give her a better idea, and take the exclusive frame. Once you have it, isolate, be calm, escalate normally etc, until she takes off the final part of the facade, then ravash her.

You've gotta develop a feel for it.

Cody Lyans's picture

Yes I hear you, how about

Author

Yes I hear you, how about this "If she thinks you are a gentleman, lead her on a revealing journey that shows you aren't just the image but underneath it all you are sexy too"

Casanova.Jr's picture

This is some weighty stuff!


I really liked this post because I could relate to it in many ways. However, does anyone have any movie scenes or conversation examples/ field reports to give this method a 3-dimensional appeal?

Anonymous's picture

"the bigger the payoff for


"the bigger the payoff for the girl when she can reveal his sexuality in its entirity." So it's prostitution but with exclusivity and a bigger reward for the woman. We need to convince women to lower their standards here. Not all guys can afford to be "gentlemen".

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • HTML tags will be transformed to conform to HTML standards.
  • You may insert videos with [video:URL]

More information about formatting options

Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.