Carnival of Dating Advice, 13th Edition
Happy holidays, and welcome to the 13th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you posts and articles on dating, pickup, seduction, relationships, confidence, and more from around the web.
We've got a short-but-sweet collection of articles for you this week
- one on sex, and three on relationships, including expectations,
keeping a marriage healthy, and getting (repeatedly) broken up with.
Just enough here to tide you over for the holidays.
And without further ado, on with the carnival...
Sex
Pickup
Podcast presents David Wygant's "Pump and Dump,"
which, despite its inelegant title, is actually rather fitting for the
holiday spirit - it's all about taking women whose only sexual
experiences with men have been "pump and dumps," and teaching them how
to truly enjoy being intimate with a man.
Relationships
John from Fearless Men sends us "8 Reasons Why You Keep Getting Dumped," a summary of many of the more common reasons you'll hear for relationships ending. While some of the reasons are a bit cliché and not too useful diagnostically, others are solid (e.g., too needy; interest/infatuation running out; etc.) and are the proximate causes for ended relationships.
Sulagna Dasgupta of Love in India submits "Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Partner?," posing the question of how many expectations to have of a romantic partner - or whether to have any at all. Sulagna says, "We expect from our loved ones - only to get hurt. Should you consciously keep your expectations at a bare minimum? Well in that case you'll be locking up your love too. This post explores such questions regarding the complex equation of expectations in relationships."
From LiveIt! Magazine, Lena
Ameri shares "What
Comes After 'I Do': 40 Tips from Married Couples," saying "From the romantic proposal to wedding
planning to an exotic honeymoon, getting married is one of the most
exciting events in a person’s life. After the wedding is when reality
sets in and inevitably the excitement begins to die down. It can be
difficult to know what to expect out of married life, so I went
straight to the source and asked some of my favorite married couples
for their best marriage advice. Here’s what they shared on what they
learned, what they wish they knew, and how to keep your relationship
strong."
Wrapping Up
... and that wraps us up for the thirteenth edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. If you're reading this and want to submit for next time, check out the guidelines here.
Hope you found these articles fun and useful. Tune in next time for more great posts from around the Internet.
Happy holidays,
Chase Amante
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Comments
Hello again Chase.my question
Hello again Chase.my question is you laid out some info about if man loves good food then he love having sex.how did you discover this insight?
Food & Sex
Hi Anon,
I'd seen it mentioned in a few books written by women on sex, and I started observing everyone around me whose sex lives I had an eye into: men and women alike. I found it was surprisingly accurate.
For instance, someone who is constantly trying new foods and constantly proclaiming each new food to be the most amazing thing in the world is also constantly trying new lovers and proclaiming each new lover to be the most amazing thing in the world. A person who relishes her food relishes her sex. Men who finish their meals quickly finish their sex quickly. Men who are slower and enjoy the process do so with food and sex. Picky eaters are picky with their partners... etc.
If you're curious, it's easy to just ask friends and women in your life questions to see it yourself. Observe the eating habits of male friends you're close with, then see if you can interpret what that means for how they have sex. Then ask them: how long they usually have sex for, how passionate they are, etc.
The underlying reason is that people all have base personality inclinations that extend to most of what they do. You can look at someone's handwriting, or how he or she plays sports, or how he or she eats, or how he or she makes love, and get a pretty good idea of what the others look like too. An aggressive sports player is usually an aggressive eater and an aggressive lover. A defensive sports player is typically a more reserved lover and a more cautious eater.
If you're interested in this sort of thing, check out the Big Five personality traits model for more on this. It became pretty quickly entrenched in psychology once it arrived on the scene in the early '90s.
Chase
The 8 Reasons Post
Chase did you not calirfy that the faster you bed someone the better chance you have at a relationship? In one of the links you provided in this article "8 Reasons Why You Keep Getting Dumped" it makes a point saying being physical too fast can lead to a break up does that not contradict the move fast motto you enforce?
Moving Fast and Breakups
Hey Novacane,
Oh, I must've missed that in that article.
Yes, moving faster and getting physical faster leads to much stronger relationships and greatly reduced break up potential down the line, assuming you do things correctly.
What this author may have been referring to was the tendency of women to go into auto-rejection with men who bed them quickly and then remain so far above them in the relationship power dynamic that the women eventually start telling themselves, "He's no good," or, "He only wants sex with me," and they go cold and distant.
Basically, the faster you take a girl to bed, the more powerful a man she'll view you, and the slower you do, the less powerful a man she'll view you. Each side has its own problems - too powerful and you risk making her feel powerless and insignificant; not powerful enough and you risk making her feel bored, disgusted, and annoyed to be with a man weaker than herself. The difference between these two is how easy they are to adjust: if you start off too powerful, you can always adjust down and humble yourself and make yourself more relatable, and inspire her and motivate her and show genuine belief in and care for her, and she'll actually love you MORE for it (because here was this guy she thought was out of her league, but now he's brought her up to HIS level); but if you start off not powerful enough, you're more or less stuck (even if you become objectively more powerful, a woman will continue to view you as your original weaker self that you were when the two of you got together).
So, getting physical quickly can sometimes lead to breakups if the relationship that comes after is mishandled (the woman needs to be made to feel very warm and accepted), but you're a lot less likely to get broken up with this way than by moving too slowly and being the boring normal nice guy.
If you must err, err on the side of moving too fast.
Chase
Funny guy naturally/ Telling girls your friends
Chase I just want to know two things. If I'm a naturally funny guy and I don't work hard to make people laugh and they just do because I'm a witty sarcastic guy by default, does that mess me up with seduction? My second question is about how you use the term "friend" with women. You say to text her "nice to make a new friend" and "sorry if I hurt your feelings, friends?" i remember you saying it makes them wonder and it makes you more intriguing, but if you use the word friend won't she think you want to be friends? Please explain how I can make that work without coming on to strong without putting all of my cards on the table and how not to be too subtle and not go into the friend zone? Thank you!!!
Off topic question
Hello Chase, I remember you said something that you graduated high school around the early two-thousands, and I was wondering how old, you are? Another thing, I'm into Astrology, which many people says is complete rubbish, but I'd like to know your birthday, if you don't mind posting, pal? :D
I've got an unrelated question for you...
Hey Chase,
Just stumbled across your blog today while I was looking for advice on how to handle a certain situation that I have battling for years. For as long as I have been dating I have never been with a girl anywhere my age. When I was 16 I was dating girls who were 12 and 13... when I was in my early 20's I could only get girls who were underage and had to adopt an age checking policy. Now that I am 32 I am still in that same situation. The problem is that I look far too young for my age. Normally I go after woman in there 20's and 30's but since I still look like I am 16 it creates problems such as when I was dating this girl a few months back and I was mistaken as her younger brother when I was actually 8 years older than her (she was 24) and this completely humiliated her to the point where she said it just got weird. This has been a repeat scenario over the years since I pretty much turned 21 and could go out clubbing and to bars. I have also tried dating sites but without better results (and trust me, these girls do have a point when I make them look so much older when they are actually younger than me, I mean what girl wants too look older in comparison? When they do go out with me and say we get a picture and I show it to a buddy and he thinks its one of my moms friends I'm hanging out with I'm just like come on man... WTF). Most people think its hilarious however when the 16 year old girl next door has a wicked crush on me cuz she thinks i'm not that much older and when I tell tell them how old I really am (after much convincing) these girls still tend to pursue me anyway. I know I am attractive, confident, and successful. Most women do really like me because of those qualities but I have to worry about the age barrier or going to jail and as I have been getting older this has become more and more of a problem. I hate to reference that line from "dazed and confused"... you know the one about getting older but the girls never age or something... yeah I was like "thats me alright." Most people say it shouldn't be a problem when I get older but they have been saying that for years and now i'm older so WTF? People even go as far as calling me a "Bieber"... So ok... how do I handle this? Forgo the law and say the hell with it and start banging chicks who might not even be barely legal, or wait another ten years and start dating chicks who are freshman in college and still can't legally drink? Don't get me wrong, I still get plenty... but chicks can't stay drunk forever and in the morning when they are checking my wallet for ID or asking how old I really am... well lets just say most of my relationships don't get much farther past that point...
You give really good advice from what I have read since discovering your blog. I got as far back as the one about how to steal somebodies girlfriend and how to keep a girlfriend from cheating. Not surprising either what some of the commenters are willing to share with you... stuff they probably don't even tell there closest friends. So I;ll ask you and if I like your answer I will buy your book as a self improvement project in hopes that I can actually put the advice you give into to use without having to worry about statutory rape accusations. Look forward to your much needed advice and not having to register as a sex offender because I was tricked.
THAT...
First of all that was pure comedy. "chicks can't stay drunk forever" ROFL.
Anyway have you tried growing ALOT of facial hair? You didn't mention what you've tried. You could also try lowering your natural speaking voice by supporting your speech with increased air in your diaphragm. Shit if you're 32 you should have a pretty good idea of a girl's age just from her maturity level. If avoiding statutory rape is really a concern only approach girls in 21+ venues. I'd rather get no ass than give up my ass...
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