7 Times to Eject from a Girl You've Just Met | Girls Chase

7 Times to Eject from a Girl You've Just Met

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

eject from pickup
You’ve heard it’s good not to eject too soon with a girl you’ve just met. So when SHOULD you eject? Any of these 7 times, as it were.

Slightly more fun article today.

Contents

Comments

Anonymous's picture

I have to say, Chase, that I appreciate how deep this article went and how well thought-out it seemed. This one truly impressed me. I have learned to cut women off pretty well if it seems like things aren't going anywhere but I still often find myself wondering: Could things have gone differently? Did I really make the right call?

Good to see some articles that help clarify these tough questions. Getting decision validation from experienced people really helps put my mind at ease and keeps me open to better prospects when the road gets rough. Being able to call when a woman is worth getting involved with from the get-go is one of the skills I'm most proud of developing. I might not be a master seducer but at least I've learned pretty well when to invest and when to pass. That's made a lot of difference for me in my personal life outside of women too.

Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em: Good rule in poker, good rule in life.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I still often find myself wondering: Could things have gone differently? Did I really make the right call?

This is still a great mindset to have... particularly when you're actively learning, but really any time.

There are really only two key mindsets to have about sticky situations:

  1. Was I right? or
  2. I'm right

Generally I find going for #2 in the moment for the certainty and moral force, then #1 after the fact (especially if you and the other person clearly had different interpretations about your 'rightness'), gets you the most tactical effectiveness in the moment with the most accurate analysis after.

Being able to call when a woman is worth getting involved with from the get-go is one of the skills I'm most proud of developing.

It's a terrific skill to have! And one surprisingly few men develop all that well... even at higher skill levels with women you still see plenty of men who are good at seduction who nevertheless end up with women who are very damaging to their lives. It's its own independent skill - and an important one if you're keeping women around longer than a night (important even for women you'll keep around for the night too, actually).

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for this article. You were spot on about when she's weird. I had a couple like that.
Some asks many questions and we are talking about analytical and weird ones.

But then there are the ones who genuinely try to keep the conversation going.
Asking (and leading the conversation briefly until I realized and turned the focus back on her) qualifying questions like a checklist. "What do you plan to do after graduation? (prospect)" or "Are you an undergrad? (Age).

Either I'm a conspiracy theorist in my past life or she asking with a purpose.
Interestingly, had a few of these girls who I opened, and she did most of the asking after my opener (hooked?), puts her phone away and gives me her attention.

So I presume interest. But then it usually ends with never seeing them again.
I notice this more in 25-30s women. 18-24 stop after I give them a vague answer.
I remember you said you had easier time with women older than you when you're 20s. How did you manuever with these curve balls thrown at you?

Trying to qualify and make her checklist drops us into bf territory and try hard.
Not qualify and she nexts you without giving herself a chance to share a moment with a high status man like you which will change her mind. And we can't have that now can we ;)

You had an article on qualifying texts, but how would you handle these in person?

Re: Letting her be comfortable with you by telling her more about yourself?

I focus conversation on them. Most of the time, I can make an approach in daytime and have little said about me.
She would be elated and we would exchange contact (following your JGIG, "great talking with you, what say we grab x sometime). But then sometimes I wouldn't hear from her anymore after a nice reply to my first text.

I thought it was because we talked too long so I made it shorter. High point 5 min? Ask for contact exchange or touch her if I think she's not ready yet (she does not have that in mind yet).

So something missing in the equation is leading to inconsistency.
I think I didn't let them know much about me to leave a strong enough impression?
Or enough info about me to have an image of me.

Think about it, you mean a stranger, she's cute, but you know nothing about her at the end of the conversation. You told her a lot about you because she asked. She offer to keep in touch and you agree. You go home, you look at the number and then...days passed. You see an invite from her but you know nothing about her. Hesitation makes sense. Unless you fall head heels over her and already sold. But we can't do that for every girl, most will be in the middle (interested but not completely head over heel).

But then we should avoid telling much about ourselves.
How would we convey this without falling into the trap of qualifying like all the men out there who just talk about themselves?

What do you think Chase?

Thanks,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

It sounds like you're running into older women who are genuinely curious in a "How cute, a bold younger guy!" type of way, but maybe not a sexual/romantic way. Or they may be attracted in the moment, then talk themselves out of it later ("That kid was cute, but he is too young for me"). That'll happen in those scenarios - the girl hangs onto you and keeps pelting you with questions, not letting you go, but never responds much to you after that via text, or agrees to a date.

You don't solidify attraction when the woman is the one driving the conversation, asking all the qualifying questions and deciding which way the conversation will go. If you want to talk to this girl later, your best bet is to turn it back to her and get her qualifying herself to you in turn. Like:

Her: So what are you studying in school?

You: I'm in biology. What'd you get your degree in?

Her: I'm an immunologist.

You: Oh, how interesting. Do you work in a private lab or in academia?

... and so on and so forth. Put the spotlight back on her and continue to find out more about her.

I think I didn't let them know much about me to leave a strong enough impression?
Or enough info about me to have an image of me.

Well, that's assuming spoken information is the best way or an important way of leaving a strong impression of yourself.

Sometimes it can be. Usually though your fundamentals do the heavy lifting of impression making. You know the old Alfred Mehrabian study... interpersonal liking comes down to 55% body language, 38% voice tone, and 7% the content of the words you say.

If you focus on "What should I tell her about myself?" you are focusing on the 7% over the other 93%. Which, I mean, 7% still isn't 0% - it still does have an impact. But there is lower hanging fruit. You want your fundamentals in such a condition that you could tell her "I'm a homeless traveler who ran away from the circus. My name's Christina" and she'd still want to come out to meet you later.

That said... while you're still working on fundamentals, there are things you can do with words to give yourself a bit of a lift. I talk about that in this article:

Chase

Dale's picture

I was in a dating service for a while, and tow of the women I met there are a case #8. After a phone call to arrange a public meeting spot, we met for a first date. Within ten minutes, they made it clear they would accept a proposal! (politely finish meet & greet and eject).

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Dale-

Ah yes. The "this girl's standards are alarmingly low / this girl is alarmingly desperate for someone, anyone, to take her."

I tried a dating service out many years back too (part of my "try anything and everything to find out what works and what's junk" approach to dating). I think I met 7 or 8 women from it before I quit responding to the service's calls to set up meets; only one date (the first one, actually) was actually attractive (despite the dating service promising me each of these girls was "beautiful" or "very cute"), and I distinctly remember her being of the "want marriage and children immediately" variety. Guess she didn't see the point of beating around the bush, but it sure doesn't help attraction when you've just met this chick and she's already planning for 10 years down the road...

Chase

SZ's picture

I forgot to respond to one of your questions in one of your reply to me.

1. It was "what do people in my same situation do to get girls".

Well, there's no one I know in my situation haha. Most people I know have careers (not saying the best, but better than no job at all) and they are in relationships.

I'm one of a kind pretty much, do you have any advice on what I could do? Since I don't have an example.

2. When you talked about moving on only 50 bucks, might need an article about that. How did you pay for rent, what kind of jobs did you work ? I can't even move out because of debt and rent is too high (800-1000)?

3. You recommended me to sleep with women in college, I know you have a few articles on that, but I really want to make the experience good. In my mind I want to approach all girls I can, don't think that would be a good look though.

How often do you think I should approach or how many chicks should I approach ?

Should I approach every day I have class on campus ?

What's too much on campus ?

What's too many girls in my classes?

I'm really trying to have great college experiences and want to fuck a lot of chicks there.

4. Would you recommend an age I should stop at when approaching girls on campus and in class ? Of course 18 is legal, but people get crap for sleeping with girls from 18- 22. You know school is a lot more of being under the radar and I don't want any bad things going on while I go; no gossip at all.

Just wanted to know if you recommended any cut off age since this is mostly social circle game.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Surely there are single men in your area?

Find the ones who are the best approximation of you, as close as you can get it, and watch what they do.

Living on the cheap, it helps you cultivate yourself into someone other people find valuable. That's when you get people offering to let you crash at their place long-term; it's easier to catch lifts from people, easier to get friends to introduce you to other friends, etc.

What I recommend is go on your favorite search engine, and type "how to move when you're broke." I just searched for this and immediately found a wealth of resources - give 'em a look.

I'm not an expert at college game, unlike some of the guys on the Girls Chase boards. You'd do better to ask them than me. However, when I was in school, I'd do at most a couple approaches per day during the daytime, usually in casual scenarios like the cafeteria or the gym. And then when I went out for nightlife I'd do heavier/volume approaches (chat up 10 girls in a night, etc.).

You should have an idea about what girls like you in class. If not, try being the fun/social/flirty guy and see which women make themselves known to you.

Would you recommend an age I should stop at when approaching girls on campus and in class ? Of course 18 is legal, but people get crap for sleeping with girls from 18- 22. You know school is a lot more of being under the radar and I don't want any bad things going on while I go; no gossip at all.

I don't know. If I was back in school as a 35 y/o undergrad I would not discriminate based on age. If I had a reasonably mature 18 y/o girlfriend, cool. If she was 22, also cool. No big deal. But that's just me. Sounds like you get a lot of flak for age. What I suggest is you go for whatever is socially comfortable for you. If you don't feel comfortable dating 19 y/os, don't date 19 y/os. If you're uncomfortable, other people will be able to see it, and they'll give you a hard time for it, and it seems pretty clear to me you care a lot what other people think about you. So that'll make your experience worse.

22 is probably the safest age for you; these are girls who are about to graduate, they're considered more mature, and society generally trusts them more to make decisions for their own lives. So for you, in your situation, where you care a lot about social judgments and you get a lot of flak from people in general, that might be my recommendation.

Chase

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