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What do you do when you get a girl who will let you touch her and
cuddle with her, but not touch her breasts, buttocks, or crotch? You
touch her other places... in sexy ways.
You’ve got a girl back at your place, making out with you, yet she’s resistant to sex. “We shouldn’t do this,” she tells you. “I have to get going.” Et cetera. You’ve heard it all before.
Contents
Do you want to plow ahead? Just keep trying? That can work. You won’t always have the drive for it though.
Here’s the deal: so long as she’s there, spending time with you in an intimate situation, you are still able to touch her and do things to turn her on, even if she yanks your hand off her crotch or won’t let you get her shirt off. There are more things you can do, and they seem harmless enough she will let you do them. And as you do them, she’ll get more and more turned on – and after you’ve done them for a while, those shirts, bras, pants, and panties come flying off.
I’m not going to go into a full discussion of foreplay today. You can read my articles on how to get a girl in bed and physical escalation once she’s in bed for more on that. You might also want to read our articles about giving women cunnlingus if you need details on that.
Today we’re just going to talk about places you can touch and ways to touch that turn girls on, without being full-on erogenous zone foreplay.
Comments
Limp Touch
"The unsexiest of hand use is lightly grasping with or resting your loose fingers on her body. This is what we might call ‘limp finger touch’. It feels weak, lame, and gross."
A week or two ago I hooked up with a girl who told me about a guy she saw before me. She went to his place, drunk but when he touched her she felt super creeped out. She said "he touched me like a woman". She told me that he touched her weakly and she felt so creepy she didn't have sex with him (good thing too because he sent her lots of messages and called her a lot when she was with me).
I use fingertip touch a lot and girls love it so I couldn't quite figure out what she meant by "touching like a girl" or "weak touch". I just assumed it was because he touched her unconfidently. Now I understand better what she meant :) Thank you!
Urgent! What can I learn from this?
Hello Chase,
So about Valentine day I met this African beauty. She is as my type as my type could get. We met in a dance party, we grdinidded out, made out, went late coffee shop. We were basically getting very heavy, she liked me a lot at the time. Because, I have a muslim background and so is she, I decided not to take it any further. I told her that she is insanely enticing and I have failed to reject her when I did succeed with other women.
Later I found out that she is married but in a finla stages of the marrige. I have a rule never to touch a married woman. However, she was still coming heavy on me that I was so close to break that rule. The sexiness of that woman is unbelievable (She is really my type basically I go for sexy not beautiful).
Anyhow, last time we met she was dressed sexy, she asked me out and she broken up with the husband...bla bla bla. Romantic coffee house, after talking I point to her to come sit next to me, which she does, gra her by the waist take her arms and start kissing for a while. But then she start resisting kissing. She holds hands with me, she grinds on me, she let me caress her body including her ineer sighs, kiss me occasionally but mostly resist and claims it is cause she doesnt want to mess my believes.
Anyways, I feel I have fucked up something really bad and I do not want to be toyed with. I should have maybe taken the opportunity when the iron was hot. There are two advice, the first is to forget about her and move on because she is toying with me. The second is saying she is simply wants more pursuing or more persistance, take what you want which I guess you wont advice. She said somethings that bothers me like I am nice and funny but some good things like I am naughty. The first time we met she was literally willing to do it right there, she was coming on to me not vice versa.
I am scared, I havent contacted her as much since I feel there is desperation in me. Friends told me to confront and just ask, others say to let go and others to pursue confidently because she likes you, but is only shit testing, or teasing or antislut etc...
Asking about how to get a certain girl almost always nothing good can come out of it. I feel I have fucked up big time and I have been friendzoned manytimes that I am terrified to my core. I dont want not to try but very scared. So, please tell me what should I learn from this and what is the best atittude to take. To be honest, I rarely women who are really that much my type to be too intersted in me. I have rejected women before but I find her really sexy. Also one more thing, why would she volunteraily call me a good kisser if she is resiting kissing me? Why would she call me nice if I have been humping her butt aggressively, touching her and basically just taking charge? Why do women friendzone me even when I am sexual with them? How, can I not lose my cool. I am not willing to reapeat the same mistake I did with other women and also I dont want to give up yet? I know I messed up but please advice. Thank you.
I havent been calling her much, maybe a couple of funny messages.
One note about me: One of my attractive sides is that I know how to make a woman feel sexy and I am not scared at all to be sexual, how could I utilize that?
Missed Escalation Window; What to Learn
Urgent-
The major lessons are attraction has an expiration date, and if you miss her escalation windows, those windows close (often for good).
If you struck while she was highly receptive, you may well have had her. You seem to have had some good reasons for not doing that... however, 'good reasons' don't matter to attraction. The window shuts all the same.
As for this question:
With this particular girl, if it's too late with her, it's too late, unless you get preselection going for you.
However, with other women you have not missed escalation windows with, being able to make women feel sexy and being sexual are huge plusses.
Keep swinging, meet more girls, practice more taking things all the way with attractive women, and the next time you meet a girl who's perfect, you'll make the right moves at the right time.
Chase
When she says silly things
Hey Chase,
Speaking of sexual touching and such, great article btw, what if in a conversation she brings up silly things that can be interpreted as innuendo?
Re: Silly things but sexual
It feels like bait.
Things that are sexual related but comes out of nowhere.
Jumping into talking about sex isn't necessarily a good move at times.
But ignoring it would make us seem like whimps.
How would you respond to these? Any examples would be great.
I was thinking of teasing, but it seems how we tease these could be key.
Re: She brings up things that are personal, but somewhat sexual
And then calibration comes in when she doesn't bring up explicitly sexual but something personal, and can be sexual i guess.
A girl I was talking to, we talked about skin care and then she told me how she would get lots of pimples when she's on her period. Pretty personal stuff right? But also a taste of sexual there. Not explicit though.
I was tempted to make a sexual statement, but I just continued talking about skin.
I didn't want to give her a skeptical look in case she might think I'm judgmental.
But it feels I could have done something more fun (sexual not platonic), flirty or something idk what.
And I'm all in about the fun so..
Any thoughts and tips for these moments?
Thanks,
Lawliet
When She's Ambiguously Sexual, What Do You Do?
Lawliet-
On "silly things but sexual", I think you mean like you're having a casual conversation about being late for work and she casually says "I told my colleague if he's late for work one more time I'm going to spank him." Something like that, where it's kind of sexual, but also kind of weird because it's somewhat random to the conversation and not directly related to you?
If it's like that, my preferred response is to say something absurdly over-the-top sexual while keeping the focus of the comment exactly the same, so it doesn't look like you're needy to turn the focus to you and her. Like:
This way you aren't being the "she gets sexual but he doesn't know what to do!" guy. But you aren't being the needy "don't talk sexual about other people... talk about us!" guy either. (also, in this particular example, by talking about the other guy getting raped by men, you demean him / make him seem weak, since she is clearly setting him up as a potential sexual competitor to you here by talking about herself spanking him. You also remove her from the sexual equation by having the people acting on this guy be other men, and not her)
The other thing you can do is play it off as if she's being a little weird:
I like over-the-top absurdly sexual though. If it matches your vibe, it works great.
Find some way to use what she's giving you and make it beneficial. You can do this with almost anything.
Chase
what up
What's up Chase,
I asked you about a month ago on what to do if you like feet. You said something about rubbing her foot on my dick, and to fuck her first before I try any freaky stuff.
I don't know if you understand how bad I love feet lol. It sounds weird I know, but I can tell I was born like this, there's no rhyme or reason why I do. Maybe you thought I meant that I just like them in general, but I actually like suckling toes and licking feet, lmao I'm so embarrassed to say this.
The good thing is that I don't do it to every girl I'm fuckin, and I haven't done it much. But to be honest me not indulging in my desires with every girl I sleep with makes a bad habit form. I like foot porn, that's the only porn I watch besides lesbian, since I can't do it in real life I just keep watching it, I know it's bad tho.
My problem is that I don't want to do this to a girl and have her freak out, or try to shame me because it's not as normal. I'm sure you have heard girls try to diss men about doing sexual things to them, like eating them out, etc.
Girls would even diss you even if the did oral on you, they just like trying to make men look bad I guess. My whole point of this is to ask some questions about my fetish.
1. Should I do this with most women I sleep with? Would they like this? Will it make me look weak since I'm literally at her feet? I'm talking about doing this with most of the girls I sleep with, so I wouldn't wait too long because I'm trying to sleep with as many women as possible and wouldn't mind licking all of their feet.
I don't want to look like a weirdo or anything, or have it make me look bad or uncool if she wants to tell people.
2. How can I make this normal with all women? I'm talking normal as kissing, she won't even think it's weird at all.
3. How can I make sure they keep this between us? She doesn't tell her friends or anyone, and she doesn't try to make me look bad in case she gets mad or something.
4. What would I do if she told someone, or if multiple girls would tell someone? I fear this, I don't want to be known as a toe sucker. I will tell them I'm not straight up.
5. Is it bad to watch foot porn once a week like regular porn and jack off to it? And is it bad to look at pictures of girls feet to jack off it?
I know you said pics are ok, are feet pics ok? And can I look at multiple pictures of different girls? Or just one girl a week?
I feel so much better getting this off my chest, thanks Chase.
How to Broach Your Own Foot Fetish with Girls
Anon-
FYI, there's an entire discussion on this subject on the Girls Chase Boards:
Do you fancy feet on your cock?
Beyond that, let me caution you that I don't have a fetish like this so don't have experience dealing with unconventional sexual urges. So I'm maybe not the best person to ask.
Anyway, I can tell you how I would approach at least initially the situations you have for me here. How I would change my approach based on the feedback I got from women I cannot say, because I haven't done that or gone through it.
Nevertheless, I'll give it a crack.
I personally do whatever I want with women I sleep with. If I want to do something with a girl, I do it. If I wanted to suck on a girl's toes, then I would do it, and I'd find a way to make it sexy and pleasurable for her.
If you want to make it normal, focus on her enjoyment. So long as she's enjoying it, she's not going to judge anything you do to her.
Keeping it between the two of you... act like it's completely normal, don't comment on it, don't tell her it's something you're afraid isn't normal or that it's so good to have a girl who will let you lick her feet, just make it normal. People report stuff they feel like is unusual. Beyond that, though, you do not have 100% control over what someone tells other people. Concentrate on making it feel good and the report will be "Anon did this awesome thing to my feet... oh my God it felt good" and not "Anon is this weirdo who likes to lick feet!"
Depends what she tells them. If she tells them you did something incredible to her feet, and you get women approaching you asking what you did to her feet and whether you could do the same to them, I assume you'd like that. If she tells them you're a complete weirdo who's more into feet than he is into vag, just shrug casually and say "You know, there's a certain thing about a woman's feet that just looks good. It's the form, maybe."
Jacking off to porn, of any type, is pretty bad, yeah. Pictures are better than videos (less stimulating, so you get hooked on them less), if you must jack off to visual imagery. Your imagination is far superior to pictures/videos, for masturbation purposes.
Again, I'm not an expert in dealing with fetishes.
However, if I was in your position, this is how I'd approach things, at least at first.
Chase
Sup
Hey Chase,
1. Where do we find inexperienced women at? where do they hang out at? What is their usual body count? And would they be harder to lay?
I wanna fuck a lot of them.
2. Is it weird for a man to be just learning these skills and going on many dates and sleeping with many women in his 30s? Just can't picture a man doing this, maybe if he was already a seducer, but brand new, I don't know why it just seems weird and not normal.
Like going on date after date, club after club, trying to raise his notch count. Is that a weird thing ?
3. Do you think a high majority of females have over 20 partners ? That's been going around.
4. How do we deal with women with higher partner counts? It makes me feel insecure.
5. How many partners does a man have to have to be above the average woman and man in partner count ?
Notch Counts, Inexperienced Women, and High Count Women
SZ-
Check out my article on inexperienced women:
What’s Great About Inexperienced Women (and What Isn’t)
There's a section in it titled "Where to Meet Inexperienced Women." Also goes into how to recognize them and how it differs dating them compared to other girls.
Infinite variation depending on demographic, where you're meeting them, how you're meeting them, which particular women from that demographic you're able to attract (e.g., are you more attractive to the more experienced women, or are you more attractive to the less experienced women?), etc.
You can find demographic pools where most of the women you sleep with have had only 1-3 partners before you. You can find demographic pools where you are fairly consistently laying virgins. And you can find demographic pools where the average girl you hook up with there has 10 former partners, or 20 former partners, or higher. All depends where you're going, what sort of women you're meeting, and what sort of women you attract.
For the 10,000th time... no. Lots of guys do it. Usually after a divorce, though there are guys who just didn't get my action in their 20s and finally get their motor humming in their 30s.
Only if you do most of your picking up in sex clubs and at sex parties.
Even if you do a lot of picking up in nightclubs, the majority of women you get from there are probably at around 15 or so lifetime partners. Some are much higher, but you'll also meet plenty of women who only hit the club once or twice a month, and only hook up from the club a couple times a year.
Same as any other chick?
They're just chicks. They're not measuring your dick length or internally playing back your sexual performance against John's, Mike's, and Rico's. Give 'em good conversation and shag 'em well and they're happy, same as any other woman.
If you're talking about your own internals, well, no easy road, especially not when you're as notch-count focused as you are right now. When you highly prize the notch count metric, a woman who has more notches than you feels kind of insulting to you - it's like you're dealing with your better. Once you reach the point where you either a.) have enough notches you stop caring about notches or b.) have enough other things going on in your life you stop caring about notches, you can deal with girls who have had more cocks than you have pussies and it doesn't really matter, you can still enjoy them, be perfectly confident with them, seduce them, and give them mind-blowing sex, without ever doubting yourself or hesitating.
Depends on your area and the demographics you deal with.
If you're dealing with inner city black women, I'd say aim for 25+. If suburban white women, go for 12+. You will still meet plenty of women who are a little or a lot over these numbers, but you'll be firmly above the average of the women you meet once you're at those notch count levels.
Chase
Tinder
Hey Chase,
1. What's the word on online dating in 2018?
I'm talking about tinder, bumble, OK cupid, pof, etc.
Heard online dating is bad now, but wanted to know your take.
Can we still get laid tons with it?
2. Is there a way I can still take OK pictures on my phone for my profiles? I just want to get started with it and don't want to wait anymore.
3. Does colts tinder system thing still work ? It's about 4 years old and I still see that it costs a good amount of money. Can it be used today and years later?
4. Does my job matter? How can I avoid the job description or anything revealing my job at all? What can I do to get as many lays as I can from online while I finish school, learn skills, etc. I'm tryna fuck 100 just off this.
5. How can we tell what girls are safe to date? I remember you saying that online girls are kind of crazy. So how can we avoid FRA's, setups, and other crazy shit? How do we also cut them off after we sleep with them and continue the conquest without crazy shit going on?
6. What should I put in my bio that would sound good, since I'm working on many things?
Thanks
The State of Dating Apps for Guys Looking for Girls in 2018
SZ-
Well yeah, I mean, that is the word on online dating in 2018. You said it.
Every guy is on it these days, wise to the 'swipe right on every chick and sort them out later' strategy, the quality of the women on these apps has declined, and it's not a new, vibrant scene anymore. What I generally here is with matching apps, since it's all looks-based, it's 9 and 10 guys hooking up with 6 and 7 girls.
Best apps I hear are things like Bumble (where women message first), Bagel Meets Coffee, etc.
Colt's Tinder system still works (same stuff still works on Tinder and on the other matching apps like Bumble), so if you have that you can certainly use it. But the quality of the women is now not as high as it apparently used to be, at least on Tinder. Not sure about Bumble and the others.
I don't think job matters on matching apps. It's 92% looks and 8% first couple of messages. Most women won't even look at your profile.
Meet 'em in person. Bail if they're nuts.
Online is a low context environment. Most of the crazy signals won't be there online. Some are (dyed hair, pixie cuts, excessive tattoos/piercings, pictures in weird places, pictures of a girl with her kid, etc.). The rest she needs to be in-person for you to discover.
But yeah, IME, pretty much every chick you meet from online is screwed in the head in some way. Some are a little, many are a lot.
Dunno. Maybe just leave it blank. Or put something mysterious like "Work in progress." Most women aren't going to read it anyway, and it has very little impact on a matching app.
Chase
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