Social Pressure: Surprisingly Important in Getting Girls | Girls Chase

Social Pressure: Surprisingly Important in Getting Girls

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

social pressureEver heard of the term "social pressure" before? Ever stopped and considered how you're using it with the women you meet?

Well, here's a scary thought: what if I told you you were doing something with women right now that was completely wrong?

Like, so wrong it was costing you more girls than you'll ever possibly know?

In fact, what I'm going to do today is I'm really, honest to God, no two ways about it going to tell you about something that I'm confident 99.9% of guys reading this post today haven't even realized they're doing.

That something has to do with social pressure, and it's one you don't really hear about ever in pick up or the social arts. Why? Well, because it's incredibly subtle... and I think guys just aren't fully consciously aware of it.

Take a look at the image above and to the right: how do you think the guy feels with that girl? Think he feels like he needs to pursue her... to get her interested again... to win her back? That's her putting social pressure in action -- and it goes both ways. But no one talks about it.

Hence, this post; created so that I can tell you why social pressure is so incredibly, unbelievably, unavoidably important and pervasive in just about all of your interactions with women (men, too), and how precisely you can start using it to your advantage -- instead of getting burned by it, like most guys do. Rather than get burned, you can learn to be a social pressure pro - and apply and alleviate it like only the most socially skilled socialites and the most beautiful, sought-after men and women can.

Comments

El Jefe's picture

Chase you know i love your stuff.

but one thing i could never understand is how on earth a person is supposed to remember all of this when interacting with another human being!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Jefe,

Great to hear from you, amigo!

Yeah, I know, lots of information. You want to start out simple, and you'll fill in most of the sub-points on your own.

I'd say, read through the article, then take away the main point:

"Alleviating social pressure is very necessary and makes things go much better, so prioritize doing so, but using it occasionally and strategically is something worth doing at times."

If you run with that, you should have the general mindset you'll need to put this stuff to good use ;)

Chase

M's picture

You are very right about breaking rapport.
Here is my recent example. Had a good interaction with a girl in club, but when I called her later she was a bit aloof and not very interested.
so I wrote her a text later
Me: Do you sleep with contact lenses on?
Girl: No. I put them off.
Me: So boring. Seems you also don't eat after 6 o'clock.

after that she seemed much more interested and even called me to ask why I thought it was boring.

Still, it may be a mental masturbation if she will not go out with me.

Jesse Charger's picture

Jesse here Chase. You really covered the subject in detail man, very nice. By the way, who is that blonde model that appears in the picture about halfway through the post? She's hot as hell...

L's picture

Hey Chase! I like your blog man, no matter what the haters say it's not difficult to see that you love women.

Now on to the article. In my experience the concept of social pressure as you describe it here not only applies to seduction but to relationships aswell. Let me illustrate: I've been seeing a girl for some time, and one of the areas she likes to 'test' me is when we're in bed. For example, one night after I fucked her for the first time that evening she said 'ok, no more sex tonight'. In my opinion, the thing she tried to do here is make me chase by putting social pressure on me.

Now, I don't think this qualifies as classic drama because it's more innocent. But the fact that it's innocent doesn't mean you should walk right into it and go all 'noooo baby, why?' on her. Even in a relationship you have to be 'on your guard' for this social pressure stuff.

Now the reason I put that between '' thingies (don't know the name in English) is because I've found that that's a wrong mindset to have, both in seduction as in relationships. I have my 'guard' down almost completely when I'm with my girl, in the sense that I don't think that such tests are a battle to be won. When these things occur I just think to myself 'what would make us happy?'. Now I know from experience that chasing isn't going to us happy, and neither is blowing up on her. So in the example above I just said 'ok', put my pants on and turned on the tv (we already fucked once and she has a huge sex drive so I had a feeling she would reconsider what she just said very quickly, otherwise I probably would've left her place). She was stunned at first, then started pouting a bit and finally got closer and started rubbing her ass against me. That's when I fucked her and we were both happy. And that's what you're essentially doing, you're showing her the way to make both of you happy and encouraging her to follow that way again in the future by fucking her well.

I'd be very interested to read more articles about relationships from you, as they can be so rewarding when you manage them properly. Keep up the good work!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

L, that's exactly it, man. That's precisely how I respond as well to that same situation.

You've already slept with a girl --> she says, "No sex!" --> you shrug, pull pants up, yawn, and lay down on your back, shut your eyes, and go to sleep --> pretty soon she's grabbing you and molesting you and practically raping you.

The weird / funny thing is, if you chase instead, she fights the whole time, going, "Nooo!!" plaintively, and you never get it. If instead you shrug it off and go to sleep, she goes crazy chasing it.

There are two things at play here: one of them's the social pressure (she realizes "Oh crap, this guy I really like is unsatisfied with me") and the other is realizing you're a really strong guy who doesn't need her ("Wait, what? He isn't going to chase me? Wow, that's kind of a turn on").

Anyway, yeah. Good stuff. I try to get a relationship piece up on here every now and then, although I suppose it's been a while since I've had one on here. I'll get another one up at some point in the not-too-distant future ;)

Chase

lucifer's picture

That's a classical PUA answer.

I think another way would have been to just ignore it and keep cuddling, talking and slowly escalate again from there.

Less "risky", much less of a state shift and much less of a confrontational reaction (she was the one who gave in while you might not want to have a situation where anyone has to give in.. )

Jp's picture

Hey Chase your stuff fucking rules.

Something I didnt understand though is do I need to ALWAYS ignore social pressure? From men and women, or is there times where its socially acceptable to OBEY?

I know you put a big enphasys on balancing things and not going to one extreme or the other, so Im wondering whats the BALANCE part on social pressure, or maybe there isnt and you have to always ignore social pressure unless this means commiting faux pas?

Thank you, I love you, oh shit, faux pas.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey JP,

"Folding" to social pressure is always a bad idea -- e.g., you approach a group of girls and one of them says, "Go away!" -- you end up looking like a tool if you just comply.

Of course, sometimes you really are in the wrong and people are trying to steer you towards doing something correct. Part of not ending up in this situation is simply learning what situations to avoid; another is getting smoother at framing yourself as doing things your way, or just doing it wordlessly and very powerfully.

So, like, if your buddy says, "JP, can you grab that?" and "it" is right next to you, just reach over, pick it up, and slowly hand it over to him. Put in minimal effort when obeying commands like this, and you come across as simply powerful within the social context. Not all things can or should be avoided, so learn to comply with grace and power and you'll usually be all right.

Chase

James's picture

Wondering if staying at the club or bar until closing time is of benefit here since you would be more or less expected to leave with someone. It's not something I do, but I'm thinking maybe I should

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy James,

This is sometimes an option. I've had a fair number of pulls that have come at closing time, as have my friends who hit bars and clubs regularly.

You've basically got to read the situation; if the friends are cool, they'll usually be okay with you peeling off with your girl as the lights all come on; but had you stolen away with her sooner, you might have gotten her then too.

What I find this tactic most useful for is when you've got a girl in a group with 3 or 4 other girls who're all friends and all keeping tabs on one another. Girl groups like that can be a little skittish if you try to pull one of them away while the night's still going on, but when everyone's dispersing or figuring out what comes next at closing time, they can be a lot more accepting of one of their number exiting stage right with that cute guy she'd been hanging out with.

Chase

K's picture

Hey Chase, love your work man!

I have a question and would like your input on it as I did not find it specifically on your website, apart from a small mention in this article.

I was at a speed dating event last week (just to get some practice in), and was chatting to one of the girls about one of the other guys that was there who was extremely nervous as it was his first time and I was giving him a pep talk saying that you'll be fine etc., etc...any way the woman asked if I was gay, which I said I wasn't of course and we carried on and didn't think anything of it.

Well, I've just come back from a date (with a different woman), in which I tried to apply some of your principles and I was asked the same question - are you gay? - of course I said no again and moved on.

But this begs the question - what is making them perceive that this is the case when in actual fact I'm not gay and LOVE woman??

Any answers on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

RespectTheFacts's picture

From my point of view:

She's apparently implying she's not interested about the subject on a rude way.

It can be, because of several reasons:

1. You're on a speed dating event. The clock is ticking... why are you not taling about something relevant?

2. "Is this guy trying to destroy competence instead of focusing on seducing me? Is he that weak and miserable?"

3. "Is he trying to impress me?"

4. "Is he actually worried about how I perceive him?"

Did you ackmowledge that which such remarks you were actually making the other guy chances even smaller?

jordankinglk's picture

Great article Chase,

I just have one question:

As I understand it, girls don't like it when they have to lead and they have the burden of social pressure.
But when girls are not investing much into the conversation, and we then use the bored / uninterested look (essentially giving them the burden of social pressure to invest more in the conversation).

Do they not reject this because of the place it's coming from (i.e social pressure is being placed on them because we're bored/uninterested, as opposed to social pressure being placed on them because we like them but are failing to lead) would you say that's the difference here?

Thank you.

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