How to Demand Respect, Pt 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect | Girls Chase

How to Demand Respect, Pt 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect

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indirect disrespect
Others can disrespect you in both direct and indirect ways. Each requires a different strategy to deal with properly.

Welcome back. We’ve finally made it to the rough and dirty part.

To get here, we first had to accept that the self is everything and you should love yourself with godlike pride.

In part 2, we examined some myths surrounding pride.

Then in part 3, we covered how to spot disrespect in its different forms.

Now it’s time to explore when and how to take action and demand respect.

Hector CastilloAbout the Author: Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo is the web’s top expert on getting laid in college. In his small town university, he went from World of Warcraft nerd to president of his fraternity in 4 years... And on the way, he bedded close to 50 women. His book King of College is due out soon. Listen to the 40-minute interview with Hector on his story and some of his prized tech... and sign up for a 12-week coaching course with him, here:

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Comments

Atra's picture

Sometimes it may be necessary to behave like this and I guess it ca be helpful to have these strategies at your reportoire, but my suggestion is to use the carefully and only when needed. Generally, I like the articles at this site and think guys who follow the advices given here, will come across as assertive and socially calibrated and hence attractive to women. The guy described in this article, at the other hand, seems very unpleasant and threatening.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

You're not going to get along with anyone, unless you're docile and submit to anyone. And even that will be annoying and disgusting to some people (especially women). There's not always an elegant solution if you want to be respected in socializing. Sometimes socializing is rough and brutal.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Atra's picture

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Anonym's picture

Hi Hector,

it is an interesting serie. I have some comments:

1) You wrote "If anyone who isn’t your mentor or teacher directly insults your character, strength, abilities, morality, or anything you would consider dear to you, consider him an enemy."
What about if your father tell you sometimes disrespectful things (f.e. he is factually right, but says it in a disrespectful way)? He is an authority figure for you, not an enemy. You like him, though sometimes he is unnecesarily arrogant.

2) Generally, what if someone teases you about something and he is actually right? For example, if most men really are better at some of the qualities you listed in the previous article (physical strength, social skills, attractiveness...) and someone tease or otherwise disrespect you about it - should it be seen as insult and you defend against it or just accept it (after all, he is right so it is description of reality)? It is strange to defend against something what is truth and fight for lie (like that I am stronger that I actually am).

3) In comments to one your article on savageness you wrote that all the atrocities caused by people, emperors or civilizations happen because of pride and that Nazis and Hitler were not better or worse than Genghis Chan or Aztecs. You also write that it is good to defend your pride (and that there is nothing like having too much pride) and protect against direct disrespect at all costs. But if you accept those ideas, than you basically say that when Hitler wanted to conquer Europe and kill all Jews (Communists, gays, Gypsies and others whom he saw as enemy), it was actually legitimate because he just defended his (and German) pride broken by humiliating Versailles treaty.
But if you agree that what Hitler did was bad and such things should not happen (or at least shoul be minimized), than you must agree that people should be less pride and/or defend their pride less and/or be less aggressive or savage while doing it.

Thanks.

Anonym

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

>What about if your father tell you sometimes disrespectful things (f.e. he is factually right, but says it in a disrespectful way)? He is an authority figure for you, not an enemy. You like him, though sometimes he is unnecesarily arrogant.

Then you tell him, "I accept your advice, what you say is true, but I don't like the way you're saying it." Past 16 or 18, you should treat your father like a friend, not an authority figure.

> should it be seen as insult and you defend against it or just accept it (after all, he is right so it is description of reality)?

Again, you can something like, "There many ways you could have gone about saying that and that was not the right way."

You might have mistaken me as saying "defend yourself" means fight against the entirety of what they're saying. Communication can be taken apart. You can accept one part of a sentence, then disagree with another. It's your social skills that dictate whether you have the skill to clearly convey that compartmentalization.

>In comments to one your article on savageness you wrote that all the atrocities caused by people, emperors or civilizations happen because of pride and that Nazis and Hitler were not better or worse than Genghis Chan or Aztecs

Right. They all did horrible things. Genghis Kahn was as savage as they come and yet he's praised. The only reason is because enough time has passed that we're desensitized to his atrocities. The same will happen with Hitler/Stalin/Mao/etc in a hundred or so years.

This is why I think of morality in terms of the Buddhist categorization. There is "skillful action" (kusala) and "unskillful action" (upkusala). Or, otherwise put, wholesome and unwholesome actions. Usually comes down to is it

1. Kind

2. Helpful to you/others

Or their opposites. Could be a mix. They're not bad, but they do cause trouble down the line for you. That is, really, the only difference between "good" and "evil."

But we are talking about worldly success, thus the karma we recommend is slightly different than those of a saint, though I do wonder if someone like Genghis Kahn reaped a shit ton of both awesome and terrible karma. It's something I think about often. Would he be given a divine rebirth, or would he be reverted to an animal existence? Fun questions.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Tomas's picture

"You could, if you so choose, always respond harshly to even the most minor of offenses. People will respect you and fear you, but they may not like you."

No, people would shun you and no one will want to hang with you. Who wants to be around some unpleasant nut who'll fly off the handle at any perceived slight? You'll lose friends, precious connections and social resources (all important for business, getting invited to the right circles, parties, etc.)

But at least you'll be "respected and feared" right? Not really, unless you're going around beating people up. But that's illegal, so you wouldn't be doing that for too long. So nobody will have to fear you because nobody will have to be around you in the first place. You'd just become irrelevant to their lives, that's the beauty of freedom of association.

So it doesn't show that you're tough, just that you're socially inept and don't know how the world works. A guy who's seen one too many Van Damme movies. But yeah, go ahead and yell at people to shut the fuck up for minor ribbing, just don't wonder why they and the others present will omit to give you a call next time they'll want to go chill and have a drink.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Relax, bro.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Heidi's picture

Hector,

Could you consider Damon Salvatore as a next topic for your seduction spotlight?
Or any Bond actor (Daniel Craig of preference)?

Thanks

Maria's picture

Would love to see Damon Salvatore profiled. He's incredibly sexy and I can't wrap my head around it.

For the article - I'm a woman and after reading this and part 3 I realize I disrespect my man. He's said I disrespected him but I thought a lot of time I was overreacting. What can someone in my position do to not be disrespectful anymore? Would love your suggestions.

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