Why It's a Bad Idea to Take Your Girlfriend to Nightclubs | Girls Chase

Why It's a Bad Idea to Take Your Girlfriend to Nightclubs

Chase Amante

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take girlfriend to nightclub
It’s fun to take your girlfriend to the club. Yet, the negatives (guys hitting on her, her becoming a clubber, unfavorable comparisons) aren’t zero.

There’s a habit among guys who like to frequent nightclubs.

And in fact, sometimes it catches on among guys who aren’t normal nightclub patrons too.

That’s the habit of regularly taking one’s girlfriend out to the club.

It’s a strange phenomenon, when you think about it. Nightclubs are primarily places for single people to go dance, talk, and hook up. They’re sexually charged environments that serve as platforms for mate selection and mate competition. Why would an attached man bring his girlfriend here?

A variety of justifications exist for taking a girlfriend to a nightclub:

  • To inject excitement into the relationship
  • To provide cover for your own clubbing without her
  • To demonstrate how secure you feel in the relationship
  • Because you think she wants or needs this
  • Because you work in a nightclub

This article applies to parties too, to a lesser extent. It’ll apply to lounges, and some dance and popular bars as well, though not as much to dive bars that are more laid back and aren’t meet markets. Anywhere you take a girl with drinking and people hitting on each other a lot falls under the purview of this article, in essence.

If it’s a place people aren’t as sexy and no one’s flirting with or hitting on anyone else, you can safely leave it out of consideration for the purposes of this article.

So today, I’m going to talk to you about why taking your girlfriend to meet markets is bad and why you shouldn’t do it. Or at least, I’m going to give you the downsides to be aware of – that way, should you choose to take girls to these places anyway, you know the risks going in.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Adrian th great's picture

another killer article took me a few years back when I made the exact mistake... To add to th shame I was an early boyfriend to her. I accepted meeting the mum thinking it was becoming serious and as a natural progression and I hadn't even been intimate with her. 1 day got invited to this club where her friends were there as well. At the time I thought th big day had arrived we shall leave to my place finally for the night of passion...not only do I get bossed around but she even went with her friends in a cab hired. The next day she says she wants to make it up to me but the dynamic was never the same. Even her friends would say "he is lucky to have you" her ego was now up increasingly becoming less feminine. Fortunately I had just started learning your material and started to pursue new honeys. We spoke after a while and she was now more feminine telling me how she now cooks...but I realized she would always struggle to truly view me as a man. I also want to add these club scenarios as a guy especially around her friends you either come across as triehard as Chase once said (impress the friends mode)... Or you underwhelm your value suddenly sinks...but yet it's all silly and subjective.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Adrian-

Yes, club's a no-good place to take her, especially prior to sex. That's when you run into 'party date' scenarios:

The Party Date: Don't Do It

Sounds like you've since turned it around with the other girls. Incidents like these where you take a girl to a party/club and lose her suck, but they're super informative. Give you clear rules to follow that make dating easier with future gals.

Chase

adrian the great's picture

very true chase. i want to add she may be so. persuasive about th issue bt u hav to stick to your guns and strategicly decline...aftr me word got out she even started puttin herself out mre even wearing much sexier clothing thn during our time...at 1st i ws i shocked nd smwat startled why she alwys tried to potray tht whole image of goodgirl nd soo stiff and rigid towards...your works shed some light on why...she was nicer after a while but she alwys tries to eithr get me to chase or to compete for her on tht "im th best guy shall get a promotion il take care of u better..." she still somewhat has that whole you should feel lucky to have me...rember gentleman have as much sex with others as you can handle...

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for all the articles lately!
I haven't read them yet, but I already know they're good :) Can't wait!
Thanks for the elaboration on night clubs...
I realize now that best mood for a girl to be seduced is..indeed neutral.

Not when they're bouncing up and down, or when they're sulking (Valentines day anyone?)
They can't really feel "turned on" if the music is telling them to jump off the walls, can they.

However, I realize when WE push for compliance or progression, we need to have some energy or playfulness, especially if they're on the fence. I don't know, is this right?

I'm so close to reach the next plateau!... I feel it. It suddenly got harder for some reason...
Exactly what you talked about in the article of "being stuck"

Re: NEVER Explain yourself
I finally caught up to your article in explaining yourself.
Thanks for posting that.
Some questions for clarification,

To whom does the rule apply?
Women. Women you're interested in. Guys. Everyone?

And does "clarifying in case they misunderstand (and their answer shows they're on the wrong page)" or "giving reasons when they make assumptions of what you said (They assumed why you did/said something...) count as explaining yourself?

Is it all under the same rule?

Re: Conversation
My conversation seemed to improve a lot.
They're also more open in general too, which makes things easier

I notice I always relate with a statement to whatever she says now apart from thread cutting and thread amplifying.
Do we often respond to their responses to our questions with an experience of our own to avoid dead air?
Similar to "keep the ball in the air" juggling analogy.

Is that supposed to be our default response?

That's usually what I do when she's not biting yet.
Only giving a little reply, then I would talk a bit more, then follow up with a question to dive deeper.
Is this the right course of action to be a default move in a conversation?

I do notice if the girl is pretty young, they usually don't have much to say when I deep dive, EVEN if they like me!
So I would chat for them to keep the ball in the air. Making a little banter.
Still experimenting with it, I'm thinking of adding touch to banter, and maybe ramping up flirtation. See how it goes.

After all, flirtation can make anything boring exciting ;)

Thanks for everything Chase
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Yes, exactly right. The more on-the-fence she is, the more playful/excited/dynamic you need to be to get compliance. Dynamism can go a long way toward getting girls to comply who otherwise might not.

Never explain yourself: it applies to women and to hostile men (e.g., men who are not interested in debating with you, only in subduing you, whether physically or argumentatively). Exceptions can be made for women in 'rational mode', but even then, don't go too far into logical explanation. Just a little explanation, plus a lot of emotion.

Clarifying is fine if she misunderstands. So is pointing out incorrect assumptions she's made. I do both all the time. Neither are explaining yourself; they're pointing out misconceptions or misunderstandings.

Responding with experiences of your own prevents dead air, but also seeks to build commonality. "Yes, i do that too" is you telling her you're like her and seeking connection. Better way to do it is to make a remark that shows familiarity with the subject without sounding like you're saying 'hey, look at me!'

e.g., if she says she loves skiing, instead of saying, "Skiing's great! Last weekend I was at Bear Mountain, and..." Instead, just say, "Oh yeah? You ever go to Bear Mountain!" Creates a lot more intrigue and excitement. Now she gets to investigate, and can say, "Do you ski too?!" Also gives you an easy way to gauge her interest; most interested girls will ask you about yourself. Though sometimes you'll shag girls who never, ever take the bait to ask you about you, and thus never learn anything about you, but are happy to just keep talking about themselves and complying with you right up to the bedroom.

Chase

Jason H's picture

Hi Chase,

Can't help but agree with the points above! What about those of us who love to dance and go out to clubs to dance.
This is usually after birthday dinners/get togethers. Usually there is a large group of us and hard to penetrate our group, but often girls want to join in the dancing and guys to a lesser extent. I would never take a girlfriend out alone to the club but it's often hard to avoid going dancing with your friends and when you enjoy it yourselves.

What's your thoughts on a situation like the above and what would be a reasonable excuse if you still recommend avoiding it?

Cheers,
Jason

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jason-

Yeah, that's a tough one. I might stick to just going to smaller, more intimate clubs/lounges most of the time where it won't be as wild and there won't be as many drunk, horny guys hounding her. Save the big, wild places for once or twice a year or so.

My friends who've done this have had problems. Even if your girl is one of the 'good girls', it's common for there to be some 'bad apples' in every girl group. I've rolled with girls out to dance and party before and watched some of the girls try to convince another girl or two to cheat on their boyfriends. If she goes to clubs a lot, she's a lot more likely to end up with friends like this who serve as the devil on her shoulder.

As a reasonable excuse, if it's a habit you've had for a while and the precedent is set with a girlfriend, you can't stop all at once, and will need a gradual wind-down instead. I'd start by having a few of these nights where you just go, "I don't feel like going out. I'd rather just stay in," and you and her stay in instead. Have a couple of great nights in together with good food and good sex and maybe a fun movie or nice conversation, and she'll usually start to discourage you from going to the club herself: "Let's just stay in tonight, do we have to go?" and you can let her gradually win you over into spending nights alone with her instead of nights together but with a bunch of other people at the club.

Chase

ree's picture

great article as usual...wow....i love how u analyse thingz

Ridz's picture

So are you saying that their girlfriends will not get approached during normal setting? It has happened to a lot of girls that I know. They get more approached at subway station and bus stops than clubs. UMMMM... But club is the EVIL.

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