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Want to walk back a mistake, or calibrate your sexual innuendo?
“I’m just kidding” + touch is the perfect tactic to let you do so.
One of the most potentially powerful lines you can add to your
canned line arsenal is “I’m just kidding”... followed up by a bit of
touch.
Contents
This line plus touch lets you reframe all sorts of situations. It lets you rebuild attainability in an instant with girls who were about to auto-reject you. And it can amplify a woman’s intrigued confusion.
“I’m just kidding” plus touch was a crucial part of the old seduction community “Grand Master style” (which consists of extreme sexual directness with women, right from the opener... if you’re interested in this style, let me know in the comments and I’ll do an article on it). The tactic gives you an easy way to backtrack if a chase frame or sex talk goes a little sour.
Because it’s such a powerful tactic, there’s a little nuance to it. Get that nuance down, and you have an effective means to control the flow of a conversation and the flow of the emotions within it.
Comments
Yes to Direct Sexual Article
"which consists of extreme sexual directness with women, right from the opener... if you’re interested in this style, let me know in the comments and I’ll do an article on it"
Boom, plus 1 to the would like this article. I'm already in the 'subtle as a rhino' camp so might as well go balls deep into what I'm naturally inclined to be anyways lol
Noted on GM Method
Alexander-
Noted down! Subtle as a rhino, eh? :)
Chase
As noted in your newest
As noted in your newest article today, I'm one of those aggressive romantic guys. Though I've noticed that I do better when I pull back a little bit. Though I'm also still really direct even when I'm in 'pull back' mode... which is probably just balanced to most people lol
Grand Master Style
I'm interested in an article on Grand Master Style... Also I have a specific question for you.
A girl apologized to me in a text after 2 years of not texting each other (I was that endless conversation texter until I started reading this site). She asked if it was me and then apologized for a group not including me in a group dance routine. Later I went up to her, put a hand on her back, and she was smiling before even looking/facing directly at me.
I told her that it was my decision to walk up and do the dance anyway (without practice, the group sorta shunned me) and her voice was small after telling me that she just wanted me to understand. I told her I appreciated it while looking her in the eye, putting a hand on her back again, then walked away.
My question, is it acceptable to go off that/how can you go off that in text to make a date? I know her through school in the same class in senior year and there's just no time to see her and create rapport during the school day, but its a small school and everyone knows everybody.
Texting Out a Girl You Hardly See
Anon-
She's opened the conversation. You just have to ask:
Chase
Yes, an article about Grand
Yes, an article about Grand Master Sexual Game please!
Great article Chase, as always
Sitting on a date, vulnerability, insults
Hi Chase,
I am interested in the Grand Master Style as well. I have a few questions:
1) Where to sit on a date? If you are on a date in a cafe, is it better if she sit across the table, in the right angle (there is corner of the table between you and her) or next to you? If she sit on the opposite side of the table, it is more difficult to touch her, but you feel less nervous because of the barrier between you (if you are beginner) and you do not have to turn your head all the time (so it is more comfortable and easier to maintain eye contact than while sitting next to her). Moreover, in most cafes the tables for two persons have chairs on the opposite sides and taking the girl to a bigger table for more persons would be weird if there are free tables for two persons (moving the chairs would be even weirder).
2) Do you think it is not problem if you tell a girl that sometimes you have fear of something or you do not believe you handle something (i.e. admit lack of confidence and your weakness) when you want to seduce her or when you are in relationship with her? I know emotional vulnerability is important for developing connection, but is not it too much to basically tell her you are not that much masculine as you may appear? Or it depends what do you fear and what you do not believe you can handle?
3) Is it a good or bad sign if someone feel (or does not feel) insulted/offended by something? As I understand it people feel insulted if you tell something negative about them what is not truth and what is related to their core values/identity/reputation. But does feeling insulted mean someone has healthy pride and sense of honor or that he is overly touchy? And if someone does not feel insulted is it because he has low self-esteem or is just cool and confident in his skin? Maybe it depends on cultural context whether you are in more traditional or liberal society. When someone says something like it about me or about people like me, I often tend to think about it not in terms of respect (“is it respectful or insulting?”), but in terms of factual and logical correctness (“is it truth or not?”). If it is truth and I do something bad with respect to my core values/identity/reputation, I feel ashamed. If it is not truth, I feel sometimes upset, sometimes I find it absurd or funny. But I do not feel insulted. Maybe I am too logical and not enough socially attuned (according to MBTI typology, I am an INTJ). Sometimes I have difficulties to recognize what particular people may find insulting so I am generally cautious about way how to talk to others.
Thank you.
Anonym
Where to Sit on Dates, Whether to Admit Fear, and Taking Offense
Anonym-
Sit next to each other. Proximity is good, and so is touch. Much harder to do with a table between you. If there are just opposing chairs, move the two chairs together; moving furniture around is attractive/dominant. Makes it look like you own the place. The nervousness will go away a few minutes into the date max.
Yes, depends on what the fear is. Also what you offset it by. If you tell her you're terrified of rats, you may look kind of wimpy. If you tell her you defended your friend from a bear but rats scare the bejesus out of you, it just adds a little more character. Not every fear needs an offset... "I'm terrified of heights. I've never been on a roller coaster," is fine if you otherwise seem like a strong, confident dude. Careful with self-doubt though: "I'm not confident I'll be able to get a job" usually doesn't sound so good. Girls like guys who are capable and effective; anything that reduces the perception of you as a capable, effective man also lowers your value.
If you can recognize something that is an insult, yet not be insulted by it, that is very, very good. If you are oblivious to whether someone is insulting you, that's not so good. Recognizing an insult and being offended by it is in the middle. In general, it's healthy to take offense at strong insults and do what you need to do to defend your reputation against them. There's a line though, and sometimes it's hard to define exactly where that line is; on one side is healthy offense, and on the other side is defensivenss, oversensitivity, or hysteria (i.e., people who are offended by everything).
I would suggest you specifically train up the ability to recognize insults and respond to them (assuming your lack of offense is due to lack of perception of the insult; if it isn't, and you know when something's an insult and just don't care, you can probably skip this exercise). You may find it hampers you slightly for a while (i.e., suddenly you find you are taking offense at things people say to you now, whereas before they would not have affected you). But if you can get through that phase and reach a new equanimity, you get an improved social savvy you can't have without being able to recognize others' intents in what they say to you.
Chase
Two words technic
Hi Chase,
one more question. Do you have experiences with David Tian's two words technic ("say anything to a girl and if the reaction is slightly negative, tell her "just kidding"")? Does it really work like that you talk to a girl for a few minutes, tell her "I want to have sex with you", she says something like "what???", you say "just kidding" and after some time you have sex with her, even if you are not particularly skilled seducer? Are there some prerequisites to make it work, like her attraction or saying it in a confident and not awkward way? Or does it work only on previously attracted women and for confident men?
Thank you.
Anonym
GM Style
Anonym-
This is GM style :) That's where David got it from.
There's more nuance to it than just propositioning her, then telling her "just kidding", of course. But that's the basis of the method: tell her something very naughty, then take it back before she has a chance to react negatively. You get the idea going in her head and open her up to that potential.
Doesn't work if the girl wouldn't otherwise be attracted to you, of course. But it can "wake up" attraction in girls who might like you but were "switched off" until you used the method on them.
Chase
Skillz that pay the billz
Hey Chase,
You know any quick skills I can look up online and learn to make money the quickest?
I saw you picked 3, which were programming, copywriter, and digital marketing.
They seem like they'll take long to learn, and I kind of need better money soon as I can.
I know there's sites to learn skills, but I don't know what skills to look for that I can learn to make money on my own and to look attractive to employers.
I also wonder how do I even start making money with any skill.
I just watch a video on copy writing, then email a client?
How would I get a client like that?
1. Just read the new article,
1. Just read the new article, please do answer the questions above if you can, I figure it would be easy to ask this here because I already asked about skills.
I'm glad graphic design is in your lastest article, I would like to do graphic design, copywrite, and writing. I feel I'm pretty good with writing, and I love art, which is why I want to do graphic design, I was going to go to school for that, but my school doesn't have it, I want to learn how to do these skills, but I don't know where to go, or how I would get paid, I see the jobs for them, but they want 5 years of experience.
Out of all of them tho, I really want to do graphic design , how can I get good enough to get money with it?
2. I was also going to school to major in English with technical writing, I know you don't like English, but I said before that I'm already almost done with school and I am horrible in math, and every tech major has extremely hard math in it. Does having a concentration in technical writing make my degree better? I would of learned skills year's ago but I was still living in the world of you need college to succeed.
My plan is to learn these skills while finishing up college.
3. I also asked the question about using student loans to pay for debt I have right now, so that would leave me with about 40k in debt after I am done with school if I do this, I won't be done paying this at 35, and I actually think I still wouldn't be done if I didn't get the loans and kept paying the debt now, so would you still recommend it?
4. For learning multiple skills, how would I do that and be able to get good in all of them to find work? How should I balance learning all of these skills? Do you recommend to only learn 3?
5. This was in my first post, do you know any skills I could learn now that would make me money quickly and look attractive to employers? Most of the skills take time to learn, but I still need some money now.
Thanks Chase!
I just found a website I can
I just found a website I can learn skills for free for 2 months. If you had to pick one skill to learn at this time in 2 months to get some money right after my free two month subscription is up, what skill would you pick to learn? If I can do multiple skills in that time frame, let me know.
Making Money, Learning Skills
Anon-
What are you looking for, a skill or quick cash?
Skills take time to develop. You can cut that time if you are dedicated, a good learner, and have plenty of time to sink into working at it obsessively. But even then it will take you at least a few months of long, taxing days to develop a skill set you can monetize.
If you want to develop skills, see this thread on the boards:
That contains everything I know about developing skills. You will need to research online how to find and get work. If you're doing freelancing, for instance, look for tutorials for your platform. "How to make money on UpWork" or "how to build a killer profile on PeoplePerHour" or "how to get jobs on Guru."
For your quick cash questions, see this post:
Graphic design is an extremely competitive field at the low and intermediate ends - you're competing with the entire developing world. Indians, Bangladeshis, Filipinos, Eastern Europeans... they are all heavily involved in graphic design, and willing to work for cheap. I do a fair bit of hiring for graphic design, and I can tell you right now the Westerners who apply to our job posts usually have mediocre quality output + top tier prices. The best designers I have found have all been third world, and as a bonus they are 50% to 70% cheaper than their Western peers.
If you want to succeed as a graphic designer, you will probably need to work for a corporation, and you will DEFINITELY need to be obsessively focused about taking your skill to the highest degree. Because if you are only moderately okay at it, you are going to get your lunch eaten by folks from the third world who will do a better job than you for a fraction of what you'd charge.
Technical writing... only if the hirer needs/uses technical writing. If you're a graphic designer, 99% of your clients won't care whether it says technical writing, Platonic philosophy, or erotic dance in the 'concentration' line of your degree. They just want to know how good your design work is, how fast you can deliver it, and how much you charge.
Skill learning, pick one at a time and focus on that. You will not learn multiple skills at once, unless you are forced to (say, in a job). When you do it yourself, pick one. Learn another later once you've gotten good enough at the first.
As for picking a skill, my top picks personally would be:
Chase
Successful
Hey Chase,
What would you say would be the best way for a dumb guy to make good money/be rich, in the most realistic way as possible.
I'm really bad at school.
College isn't for me, and with the trades it seems that you need to take a test to get in, plus I think they want young guys. You know the age limit when trades become a problem to get hired ?
I know I said I want to become rich, but I want to make good money in the meantime.
What could I do to make a living if I don't go to college, or a trade and I'm dumb?
Thanks
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