How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates | Girls Chase

How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

girl's appearance on dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches.

In his article on approaching girls in a high energy vs. low energy state, Alek mentioned women’s tendency to put weight on how others make them look in-venue. I thought this was a great topic, and one we haven’t talked about as much as we should have. So today’s article takes that topic and explores it further.

So let’s talk about the importance women place on appearances... both how they look themselves, and how the people and environments they’re associated with make them look.

Different women place different amounts of importance on appearances. Yet everyone values appearances to one extent or another... if not always to the same degrees, or along the same dimensions.

By the end of this article, I hope you will have a better, more intuitive grasp of the importance women put on appearances. And not to worry – we’ll talk below about why this grasp is helpful to your efforts to meet, bed, and date the women you want to do that with, too.

Comments

SZ's picture

Just left the forums after reading about a writer here using tinder with a fake pic.

Shit has me triggered, not the article itself, but the hate black men has as a whole from shit I have seen all of the time.

After I moved I never knew it was like this, now I see it everywhere.

Black men are bashed everywhere, can't no one tell anyone different. Black men have it the hardest period.

But this is not about that, it's about never loving a woman because if a woman of your own race wants to shit on you and other races don't want you as much, what the hell are you supposed to do?

I have had chicks tell me with no reason that they like white men, random chicks I never spoke to or tried to at all, just coming up to me to say that.

I remember so many times I have seen extremely fine black women, but I knew they were with white men because in my area the black women do not dress up.

It's very funny to me that these women dress up so nice for them, but the ones that like black men don't try at all.

I had a chick who told me if I didn't come along she would of been with a white man because black men have treated her so bad.

You hear this bullshit?

It's fine if you want to date out, but black women bash black men too. I never hear no other race of women bash their men like this.

Knowing this I can't love any woman, not of my race or any other race.

If your own race don't like you, then you're shit out of luck, you have a lower chance with another race girl.

Am I bitter with my statements? Can I ever trust a black woman?

I hear this shit all the time, I've giving up love for anyone.

I don't want to be bitter, but I'm not a fool.

I don't know what I'm suppose to do in this situation.

I don't know how to feel. Should I be untrusting, am I over reacting?

I'm going crazy because this is all I hear from them and see online.

I want to overcome this. I don't want to feel like this, but its hard not to.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Yeah, there are girls of all races who do that.

I've had white girls start telling me how they like black guys or Latin guys are so sexy or their last boyfriend was Asian and Asian guys are so cute. I have also had black women tell me sorry, I don't date outside race lines.

It depends on the individual. In every race, there are girls who exclusively date in-race. There are girls who mostly date in-race but are open to a sexy or high value guy out-race. There are girls who date whatever. There are girls who mostly date out-race but sometimes date in-race. And there are girls who exclusively date out-race. Women tend to be more in-race daters than men are, but within any population there are plenty of outliers.

As for dressing up... interesting. Hadn't paid attention to that before. But come to think of it, when I go to nightclubs where it's all black folks, the women are worse dressed. Kind of trashy. But when it's a mostly white venue, and there are black girls there, they do dress much nicer.

Well, I assume it's demographic targeting. If you're a black girl (or a black guy, for that matter) and you want to date white, you know the resistance you have to overcome is "How do I know this person isn't ghetto?" Clothes are an easy way to advertise that you're not ghetto. I can tell you as a white guy, if I see a black girl dressed nice, I have a completely different disposition toward her than a black girl dressed trashy. (I mean, it's the same for everyone, but it's amplified for black girls; I know the black girl who's dressed classy isn't going to treat me like a mark [I had a hoodrat I picked up pick my pocket in the back of a van years ago... funny after the fact, but made me a lot more cautious around chicks who dress like they're broke. First and last time I let anyone pick my pocket])

If she wants to date brothers, why dress white? The brothers aren't dressing that way, the other sisters aren't dressing that way; she's just going to be overdressed, feel silly, and put in extra work for no reason. People dress up if they need to, but don't if they don't.

Anyway, I don't really see this as something to worry about.

Your main thing on these worries is you've gotta realize people are all different, man. Sure, maybe 20% of black girls want to date white guys. Or something like that. But then you've got 40% who only want to date black guys. And the rest in the middle of "I'd prefer to date a black guy, but if there's a really cute white guy maybe I'd date him too." Same with age. Go to a university, maybe 70% of girls are weirded out at the idea of dating a guy 10 years older. 10% of girls ONLY want to date guys 10 years older. And the remaining 20% maybe are like, "That's maybe not my first choice, but if he's cute, well, what the heck. Okay."

The world is not black and white, all are nothing, this or that. It's all spectrums and continuums.

Quit worrying about the people who don't like you or don't want you. Most people don't/won't. Those people don't matter. The ones who matter are the ones who DO like you, appreciate you, and desire you. They're the only people who are worth wasting mental cycles on.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

I had to move and I have no transportation at all, I'm stuck.

Where I live you need a car, you can't walk anywhere at all.

So that means no gym, no money, no dates.

All the people I know are always using their cars, and I don't have anyone to give me rides or let me borrow their car.

So I'm stranded, what would you do in this situation and what should I do?

I can't think of anything, but this situation has to be fixed asap.

Thank you

pp's picture

There are problems like "big deal syndrome" when you bullshit yourself with what a legend you are.
There are problems when girls bullshit themselves and man can't tolerate it.
There are problems when men bullshit themselves and girls can't tolerate it.

How a man should go about girls calling him out on his bullshit, and how to cope with one bullshit that is not that tempting to admit even to yourself?
And how to deal with a girl who's bullshiting on something she tests or believes.

One issue I'm annoyed to deal with is - hygiene. I have normal hygiene, yet I don't overdo it. Like: I brush my teeth, but I don't floss. I clean myself, but don't mind to be sweaty for a while. Pretty much girls nag me on this, and when I talk to guy friends about it they say they find it easy to shrug it off with girls and they can have some juicy sex without overdoing hygiene too, while with me they blame me for it hard and push me away.

What the heck is this? Have you any thoughts, and for the f*ck sake, what's the proper level of hygiene man should have that girls would consider him amazing? I can't tell when calling out me on hygiene is really calling me out on my bullshit vs when it's just her preference and she would put up with same hygiene in other guy had he done something else differently.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

PP-

Yes, we call those 'tests' here. Check out these articles on handling these:

The hygiene one in particular, if it's a girlfriend, just get close to her, grin big, and tell her she's going to love it anyway and yank her in for a kiss or shove your cock in her.

I've had girls complain about my body odor or hairiness or something else. Then after sex had those same girls start to compliment me on my body odor or hairiness or whatever it was they complained about earlier. The first few times you feel like you must be losing your mind, but then after that you just no longer listen to these complaints women have.

If it's not a girlfriend, then just use it to flirt.

Her: Eww, your B.O.!

You: [grab her in a bear hug, draw her into you, and squeeze her hard] Take a good long whiff, baby.

Then if she continues to nag you after that, you know she's just doing it to get your attention. So just keep pulling her in and rubbing your body all over her and progress the flirtation.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for the articles on dates. They're great, keep them coming :)

Re: Classroom
I did according to your classroom article but my classroom are pretty big, and sometimes I have trouble finding them again to sit next to them for slow game process.

I tried asking for their contact the first time we meet by "So we sit next to each other next time", and it doesn't go that well especially when all I've managed to do is slip a hi before the prof begins and ask about her notes.

Anyway around this "Can't find her again to sit next to each other" and still get the girl?

Re: I don't know
When we do compliance or ask a girl out or move her etc., and she says "I don't know", what do we do when she does this? This has caught me offguard a few times

Re: Making it very self-conscious
I came across a girl the other day on the transit.
We were talking and it was going great so I ask which stop she's getting off and then she says "you ask a lot for a stranger"

It's sorta banter but it's bad frame.

Then I deviate to another topic.
As I was about to ask her out and get her number, she says how most people wouldn't respond as they're strangers and asks how many times I've gotten good responses from saying hi to strangers...I was just surprised this. Gave her an eyebrow raise involuntarily... and she just stare back.

I reply I only those that interest me...so I wouldn't know
And then she goes" What interest you? You just blah blah and I was blah blah.. heck I might be blah blah"
I look away as I'm not sure about asking her out anymore...this is public so what she goes weird asks more weird questions...

I look back and say "You're reading too much into this"

But how would you deal with this? And how would you lead the conversation again and get her contact?

Best,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

I don't have enough experience with that situation to be able to advise you well. I might try Hector, or post something on the boards and see if you can find a guy with some tech for that.

Re: "I don't know", that's usually a mild rejection. You can flirt there, but I've never had much luck with it. e.g.:

You: We should grab drinks or a bite sometime.

Her: I don't know...

You: [charming smile] You don't know what? When you'll be free or how desperately you want to meet me?

Her: Oh, yeah. I just don't know.

You: Give me your cell and we'll figure out what you know or don't know later.

Her: I don't know.

Turns into a broken record when you try to persist with "I don't know" girls much of the time.

The best luck I've had with it is to just shrug it off, go do something else, and hope to run into the girl later. i.e.:

You: We should grab drinks or a bite sometime.

Her: I don't know...

You: Yeah, okay. Well, I've gotta run. Maybe I'll run into you later.

Then try to build some preselection or run a jealousy plotline in front of her then take another crack at her later.

The stranger one is attainability. You need to do a better job pacing girls' reality and probably seeming warmer / more natural / less practiced. If it seems to practiced she will assume you are a guy who just walks up to random women to try to get dates (which you are! Funny how that works, right?).

Normally, as soon as you get that objection, your goose is cooked. You came in all wrong on the approach, far too smooth, too unattainable, and flipped all her "this is not real... this is not legit" flags. Very hard to undo when you have just a minute or two with a girl in a cold approach street/transit situation. The best thing to do is take the lesson from it, jot it down as "got to be warmer and more real, less playboy-ish", and do better the next time.

Chase

SZ's picture

Hey Chase,

Just read a post from you on the board about dating in 40s and buying products/ having mentors and I had some questions.

1. I'm actually quite surprised and was kind of shocked when I read that you said no one wants to be a pua at 40.

I don't know why, it just felt weird and I felt like it was super different to read that from you, I guess it's because this whole site is about sleeping with multiple girls mostly and I feel 40s is young; especially when there are good articles for older dudes to get younger women. Also makes me wonder if you'll quit the game by then, guess it's that feeling when someone retires and you think they would do what you're used to since you knew them. It kind of felt like pick up is over at 40.

Then reading that men in their 40s who pick up are recently divorced, makes me think "is the game really over at 40? Is it weird to still sleep around with girls at that age?"

I do understand it tho, 40 is kind of up there and it would get bored after a while and you would probably want to start a family by then because there is no point anymore, it's just weird reading it on here. It felt like you think that a 40 something dude fucking mad girls is weird, that's how It feels, and I know you don't think that, just how it felt at that moment.

Anyway since time is so fast, I don't know if I want to settle down, settle down by 40.

I just want to make sure I have my fun and have many good memories from sleeping with many fine woman.

A. Could you explain what you mean tho by men get tired of the game at 40?

Like do they get tired of gaming girls for pussy ? Do they just want it easy? Is it game over and you just stick to one woman forever and become that typical American family? I just can't wrap my mind about men (who read this site) who study and train to get good with woman bowing out at a somewhat young age forever.

Do I have enough time to get really good with this stuff and soil my oats by 40? I'm really paranoid by age now because I want to get extremely good by then, I just don't know if that's enough time to get to that level.

That's what really scared me about the post, what if I'm not elite by then? Will I feel like a failure? Will I regret It? Would I be a weirdo if i still wanted to sleep around at 40, because that's not what 40 year old do?

2. A. With products and mentors I agree with, but...... there are so many people out here selling shit you don't know what to buy. I'm not just talking about scam artist, I'm talking about so many people with products out there, how do you know which one will help you better?

I can't go around spending all of my money on products from 10 different people, so how do I know who I should put my money in? With so many products, which one is the one I buy?

B. Also, how do you even find a mentor to train you for an online business? They don't know you, unless you want to spend hella money, but how can they really train you like they are your mentor and not just tryna get paid to answer a few emails?

I feel a mentor would help you like you're a friend, not a client, so I don't know how I could find one to help me online, maybe their books count?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

I did not say it was weird to pick up and sleep with girls in your 40s, I said most men who are in their 40s who have been bachelors their entire lives no longer want to pick up and sleep with loads of girls in their 40s. Including (I know you will ask) guys who do well with women 20 years their junior. I have known a few, but sooner or later they always knock one of those young 20-somethings up and put a ring on her finger, because they tire of the game. And most guys drop out sooner.

Remember: the point of hooking up is not hooking up. Just like the point of money is not money. Hooking up, like money, is a tool. In most people's cases, it is a tool used to evaluate your own sexual market value and what kind of SMV you can hope to secure in a mate. Once you figure it out, you switch from evaluation mode to selection mode, and choose your mate. If the relationship doesn't last and you get a divorce, you may reenter the evaluation period for a time (especially if your environment or SMV has changed), but after a while, once your brain decides it's finished its evaluations, you switch back into 'select a mate' mode again. This is just how humans work.

(there are outliers - guys who remain perpetual sexually active bachelors forever - but they're rare. And even those guys tire of pickup after a while. Most of the guys I know in their late 30s who have been lifelong bachelors and are committed to staying that way have tired so much of pickup they've switched to hookers. Including some very sexually successful friends who have no trouble picking up. They just had enough money, realized that as easy as pickup had gotten for them, hookers were easier still, got lazy, and do that instead)

I have no idea what you'll want at 40. But judging by your past history, I suspect you will be asking if 50 is too late to get started with this picking up girls stuff, and also regretting that you didn't start when you were 20 or 30 :)

Re: how to know what to buy, get on forums. Make friends. Talk to people who use products. Look for consensus. Everyone has his favorite products but if you hear multiple people recommending the same thing you should probably think about picking it up.

Re: business mentors... tougher. Work your network. If you don't have one (sounds like), then you need to build one. Participate on business forums, go to real life business meetings, and most importantly, start to build businesses. Most mentors need to see a baseline of ability before they are ready to invest energy in nurturing a budding talent. There are far too many people who would ask for their time then do nothing with the advice they receive; mentors thus choose to focus on mentees who are already making waves and look like promising prospects to help grow.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

What can I do to solve this?

So I went to the club with some friends, and I the cat legit had my tongue, I couldn't say anything to anyone.

I was also super nervous about rejection, it got to the point where I thought I would be rejected by every good looking girl, so I didn't try.

The girls were showing me no attention, I tried to get them to look at me first or something, but nothing.

It's been like this for years and I always tell myself next time, I'll do better and approach more women and talk to them, never happens....

No matter how much I pump myself up, then it got to the point where I started comparing myself to everybody and just didn't feel like I was good or popular enough.

I was also self conscience as well; making sure I stood cool, looked cool, not too excited, not too boring, I tried to look cool and relaxed.

That didn't help, I was just self conscience as hell and kept thinking I was gonna get rejected by every girl, so I didn't try.

It felt like the cat got my tongue and I couldn't say anything, I didn't want to depend on alcohol either.

I'm thinking; if I can't approach girls with friends, how the hell am I gonna fair alone with all these people and I'm by myself ?

I kept thinking I was gonna get rejected by every single girl, and I didn't know what to say either.

You know what I can do to finally solve these situations I have ?

Cat got the tongue.
Feeling insecure and self conscience.
Felt like I would get rejected by every girl.

Thank you Chase

Anonymous's picture

I also do no fap, or watch porn and I hit the weights. I honestly feel no different than if I don't do it at all.

Am I doing something wrong? I don't feel super aggressive or confident either, and I've been doing these things for a while, it's as if I'm not doing them at all.

I tried an experiment where I didn't do it for a couple months, I felt exactly the same.

I felt no extra power after no fap or lifting heavy weights.

It doesn't give me any courage to talk up girls and it doesn't give me super confidence against other people either.

Am I missing something? I don't see the benefit of no fap or hitting weights heavy unless I'm doing something wrong.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

It's approach anxiety. Everybody who isn't a psychopath gets it.

Doesn't matter what else you've got going on in your life. I know all kinds of guys with every awesome thing going on or hyper masculine background you can imagine who get shook at the idea of walking up to some cute skinny girl and striking up a conversation with her. It's normal.

Check out these articles - they're devoted to helping you break past this:

Chase

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