Tactics Tuesdays: The Friday/Saturday Night Date | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: The Friday/Saturday Night Date

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

Friday night date
The Friday night or Saturday night date is one of the best date times you can get. But it’s also tricky to get – she may have plans, or want you to think she does.

You know my usual advice on scheduling your dates... go for midday if you can (11 AM start time), when she’s likely to have the whole day free. Or if you can’t, after 7 PM Monday through Thursday is good.

But avoid Friday and Saturday. Especially Friday and Saturday nights.

Why? Well, most girls are busy then. Or at least they’d like you to think they’re busy then. Any girl who’s read The Rules knows she’s not supposed to agree to a date Friday or Saturday night. Makes her seem too available, after all.

On top of this, you don’t want to seem too available. You’re a single guy. Shouldn’t you be out partying on Friday night? Or maybe hooking up with a friend-with-benefits? Having drinks with the boys? If you’re free on a weekend night – especially if she isn’t – you risk looking a little, well... lame.

However, there’s a catch here. And that catch is that if you can pull off a Friday night or Saturday night date, you get a date during the most sex-primed part of the week. It’s easier to sleep with girls on Friday or Saturday night. And if you get them out one-on-one with you on Friday or Saturday night? Hoo boy.

The art, of course, is how to get girls out for a Friday night date or a Saturday night date, without the seeming like the guy with no plans and no social life. That’s the real trick.

Comments

Kaelos's picture

"That’s okay, if you want to see her Saturday too you can always ask her that near the end of the Friday date if that goes well."

How would you phrase this and set this up during the end of the Friday date to see her Saturday?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Kaelos-

Wait for a high point. Then...

You: ... so I told her if that's how she's going to be, then KEEP that damn burrito!

Her: [laughs] Oh my God, that is hilarious.

You: Hey, I'm having a really great time with you, this is so fun. What're you doing tomorrow?

Her: I don't know. No plans yet.

You: Okay. Well there is this little comedy show tomorrow night that I saw once before and it is side-splittingly funny. We should check that out. Or I'd be down to just have a chill night with you too if you'd rather relax.

Her: Yeahhh... a chill night might be good.

You: Excellent, excellent. When should we meet up tomorrow... 7 o'clock?

Her: 7 is good!

You: Okay perfect. Anyway, I am not done with you tonight yet, so don't wander off.

That's all there really is to it!

Chase

John Greco's picture

Hey Chase,

So, after breaking up with my abusive ex, I found out that she was also lying to me many times. And now she's flirting with a mofo who used to like her consistently on instagram.

The thing is my self-esteem has hit rock bottom, after one year of false accusations, name calling and fights plus discovering she wasn't all that honest with me.

I'd appreciate any suggestion as to how feel good again about my self and heal my ego. I've read your article about self-esteem, and being around my Cluster B ex for a year and her devaluations definitely took a serious hit on me.

Cheers
John.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

John-

Two words: rebound sex.

A rebound relationship can be good for healing wounds.

Although ultimately you will want to go on a girlfriend quest for a new, high quality girlfriend.

But, first stop: pick up a chick or two and get your rocks off. It'll help, probably by a lot. (it'll at least take the worst pain away, and reassure you that okay, you can still get women. It's going to be okay)

Chase

Faithful4life's picture

What the hell????

No, John--- don't listen to Chase. You are better than that. Don't use other people like objects to get a self esteem high.

If this woman treated you like crap, don't be a man who treats women like crap. Even if women are willing to treat themselves like crap, don't take the offer.

Your value is in being a genuinely good guy--- a man of honor and virtue. The way to deal with grief is through healthy grieving--- not using other people (even if they'll go along with it). Don't treat the most beautiful thing you can give another person like a sport to merely make you feel better. It devalues yo and it devalues the woman you will meet one day who truly will cherish you and be your life partner.

Don't act like a guy led by his physical desires and no wisdom or discernment or self control.

Spend this time doing the hard work to learn what attracted you to an abusive relationship to begin with. Face the demons in your past from your childhood. Many people who had been in abusive relationships as adults suffered abuse in their family of origin. That's where you're greatest struggle with feeling worthwhile lie. That's why you took the bad behavior for so long from your girlfriend. Don't be frightened of your past. It doesn't make you any less worthwhile. Seek to face those difficult feelings so that you can heal from them and select a better partner in the future.

Don't use sex like a drug to medicate your hurting heart. I'm not judging you, I'm just saying it will keep you trapped in the fog and not making any real advancement in who you are as a person. You deserve better than that. Discover old hobbies and interests and invest in you. Enjoy yourself as a human being without requiring someone else for this. Explore yourself. You are brave just for seeking what to do from all you've been through.

I am sorry she was such a witch. No matter what mistakes you made, she should have not been a witch to you. She should have treated you with kindness and compassion and honor and respect no matter what.

Treat yourself with that same kindness and compassion and honor and respect. Don't use another person just because you can.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Okay, I could've been more delicate in my choice of words in my response to John Greco. I assume you're a woman; this is a men's site, and I'm talking to John the way men talk to men when there are not women around to tut-tut them. "Get your rocks off" does not mean "treat her like a masturbation sock and then chuck her aside, HA HA HA!" in this context. If you're seeing that, it's obvious you don't know me, haven't read much/any of my other content, and aren't familiar with how men talk to other men.

I guess this is one of the weird, wonky aspects of the Internet, that pretty much everyone can read what you write, interpret it through whatever lens they are going to interpret it, and then have an emotional reaction not in keeping with the original message at all.

On the subject of rebound sex itself, the science is quite clear, and so are the experiences of pretty much anyone else who engages in it. Read my article on it. Should you, Faithful4life, ever discover your partner was not nearly as faithful4life and part ways, I suggest you take it for a spin yourself and find out. Both partners benefit from rebound sex/relationships, and the psychological recovery of rebounders proceeds much faster and much more effectively than those who choose to abstain.

Whatever your moral or personal strictures are here, this is how we humans work, and how God or the universe or whatever you believe in designed us. We humans are social creatures, and we bounce back from sexual/romantic harm from one person faster when we have sexual/romantic healing from another person.

Chase

Faithful4life's picture

Chase,
Please don't condescend to me. I have been through more reality than you can imagine and I am not naive or unknowledgeable. If you want to talk philosophy of science, then we can, but please don't apply a philosophy of science and call it "the way we are made".

I live in a large metropolitan area with lots of singles and where people do not settle down. The women I know here are not happy. Across the board, women of varying religions and ethnicities are not happy with a culture where all men want to do is hookup. Does it matter that they'll take her out on a nice night before the hookup? Not really. The entire emphasis of your article is getting them in bed. I suggest that the biggest problem we have leading to incredible male promiscuity is the philosophy of science that is applied that says that men are naturally promisciously minded. I believe that this gives license to men to indulge in this. Women generally want meaningful connected relationship. They are not happy with being used as sex objects. Someone having sex with someone they barely know, have only met once or twice or three times or four times is NOT being loved in the sex act, they are being used for personal gratifications.

Women do this too. I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won't go out with them if they don't sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don't develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it's with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn't even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn' much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn't make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?

People were not made to have partners walk out on them, to be used and discarded in abusive relationships, etc. The answer to healing from this is not to desensitize our consciences. People were made with higher level thinking brains in order to be able to live on a higher plane--- the love another and create a safe loving relationship to walk through life together.

What we have now is partners who fold and are good for nothing, have no idea how to be there when times get tough, no self control over their impulses (just look at the numbers of people addicted to porn and read the studies coming out on porn documenting the damaging effects to people's sex lives and the rewiring of the brain as a result of consistent porn exposure).

I have studied this stuff extensively and am not unknowledgeable and we could go for hours dialoguing but what I am not going to do is concede to you claiming something as "the way it is" as if you are representing reality, because you are not. You are representing the prevalent western view today which is as good as the breeze in the air, here today, gone tomorrow. It's not objective reality of people's core needs nor how they are wired to thrive. Many many men as well as women cannot bond and attach well in relationship due to trauma experienced as children that disrupted their attachment mechanisms. We are seeing this endemic in the dating culture, this hookup culture is a result of the brokenness of many childhood homes. That is not psychological well being, it is psychological dysfunction. Healthy people attach. They don't sleep with different people like changing their socks. There is an underlying attachment disorder that is a significant problem.
Men especially should protect women from sexual exploitation, not be the ones leading their sexual exploitation. That's a part of being a man, and not a boy. That's a part of valor, and honor.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

This is a biased, one-sided, low empathy comment. But it's a perspective we haven't addressed on here before, so I've given it a proper rebuttal in article format. You can see that here:

The "valor and honor" bits go hand-in-hand with greater sexual power in the hands of women. That's addressed in the article.

The "only people with attachment disorders" bit I didn't bother to address because it's kind of ridiculous and not related to anything else. In a society in which everyone (just about) is at least a little promiscuous, yet 40% of people have secure attachment styles, the math does not add up. While a period of promiscuity in one's life can be a symptom of an insecure attachment style, it's also just a signal of high sex drive, or the realities of life in an environment with abundant mating opportunities.

Also, the idea that rebound sex after a relationship automatically makes someone promiscuous is beyond prudish (though kind of sweet and innocent).

Anyway, I don't want to discourage you from your set of values. It's good you have them. But if you're going to make the arguments here you've made, then I will address them.

Chase

Alexander Abraham's picture

You have way more patience than I do....

Literally all I read was the same weird stuff I read in FB comments that boggles the mind. My way is best because it just is.

Seriously, good on ya Chase. I dunno how you do it but I definitely need to work on my patience because I just plain couldn't do it at the moment.

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