Tactics Tuesdays: How to Make a Zinger of a Comeback | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Make a Zinger of a Comeback

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

how to make a comeback
A good comeback can turn enemies into friends – or at least get them off your case. ‘Agree, then mock’ and ‘mock thanks/curiosity’ are two ways to do this.

In a comment on my article about dismantling condescension, Lawliet asked about ball busting, comebacks, and zingers. I’ll save ball busting for its own, separate article (it’s related but different). In this article, I’d like to give you a pair of formulas you can use to build your own comebacks.

When I was in middle school, I was my school’s Comeback King – not because I came back from any down-and-out situation, but because I had a rare talent for lacing together comebacks that stung like an eyeful of salt. I tried to use my powers only for good – purely for defensive purposes – but I always went out of my way to make sure everyone knew any attempt to put Chase down socially was going to lead to a complete, effortless, socially savvy shredding.

There are two primary ways I build comebacks. Most good comebacks the world over follow the same principles, and if you get these principles down, you’ll be able to build your own great comebacks with relative ease.

Comebacks are incredibly useful. You’ll use them with girls when they test you or bust your balls. You’ll use them with men who challenge you. You’ll use them any time someone tries to make you look bad or undermines you.

Comebacks aren’t only to defeat your social foes, either. You will find, quite often, that after you slap someone down with a salty comeback, that person’s respect for you and attraction to you (whether romantic or platonic) goes up. I have comebacked my way into bed with ball-buster girls and had men start who started off busting my balls end up as friends after I laid down a razor-tipped comeback.

There’s only one catch, and it’s the same catch as with all Girls Chase material: you’re going to have to practice this a while before you get very good.

But the good news is, you can start on that practice right away. Because the principles themselves are simple.

Let’s begin with Formula #1 of our two comeback formulas.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Chase,

I'm wondering how to come back in a different sense: with an ex whom I dated for 5 months. I've read the 2 articles regarding the topic, but I think I'm in a pretty unique situation. Firstly, I'm 17 (still in high school). Secondly, my recently-ex has been raped, which she didn't tell me until about a month into the relationship. By that time, we had done everything except for penetrative sex, and I had pretty successfully countered what I thought to be LMR on a few occasions. Unfortunately for (and unbeknownst to) me, those memories triggered past anxiety and took me down a notch in her mind.

My ex recently initiated a break up, and she was rather forthright. She said that, in her mind, we just didn't click. She knew I cared about her, and she cared about me, but I could never read her, and my responses to some of her emotional trauma weren't what she needed at the time. She told me that she didn't want to string me along in a sexless relationship because it would most likely breed comtempt and put us both in uncomfortable situations. She needed someone that did "the little things" and showed his affection more. Then, she told me she never loved me, that, for awhile, she tricked herself when she was really horny and we did things, but after she would get PTSD of sorts and feel worse. She told me she felt she needed somebody who could fill her needs and broke up with me.

Quick Aside: This girl is really measured and thoughtful (hence my initial attraction to her and the comprehensive and non-BS reasoning of her break-up), which I greatly appreciated when we were dating. She's also pretty darn attractive. Her communication left a little to be desired, though (result of her willingness to ease her others' emotional burdens and her past abusive relationships), and I would have loved to know some of this information early on so I could have troubleshooted.

Now Chase, I actually love this girl. She's the first person I've been with who had the patience to deal with some of my worse traits (quick temper, etc), and over the last month or two of the relationship, I started to mean it when I said that I loved her. And right before we broke up, I did a few of those "little things" that made her happy. The girl just exudes love, and she taught me a lot about myself. However, because of my aloof style and blunt communication (a defense mechanism of sorts from some past nasty breakups with people I moved too slowly with), she felt that I didn't mean it when I said that i cared about her.

I know that you advise not to get into relationships with girls with past trauma, but this girl and I only have one year of high school left. On top of that, every girl who I view as "dateable" is either one of her friends (who wouldn't date me because of the forced socialization and "girl code" of high school) or is someone I HAVE already dated. And yes, I have extended my social circle to about its maximum capacity and have no desire to start going to random parties that are hours away to meet new people.

I would honestly be content with a sexless relationship with this girl if it meant I could hug her, cuddle her, and do cute shit that made her smile for the next 8ish months. And then, we'd both break up amicably, go to college, and work on our love lives even more. I'm 100% willing to fight for a relationship with this girl; I don't want the best relationship from our respective high school experiences to be relegated to " just the guy/girl I dated in high school." (She actually told me I would soon forget her, as she views me as a high-value man whom she knew could get quick "favors" from girls.) Simply, I want to make her happy, have a great senior year, end on a good note, and smile every time we see each other in the years to come. (Can you tell I'm a Zan Perrion fan, haha?)

My initial strategy is to go incognito for a few weeks. She's been avoiding me in homeroom, hallways, etc, but we've maintained a snapchat streak for the past week (simple pictures of ourselves, nothing weird or innately dismissive). In 3-4 weeks, I was thinking of sending her a text about how a certain book or movie reminded me of her and then going from there. From there, I want to rebuild some rapport, reminisce, and get her on a simple date where we can meet up and talk. From there, I would tell her most of what I've already said (I still have feelings for her, I'm willing to fight for the relationship, I won't resent her, etc.) I feel like telling her these things a month after the fact rather than at time of breakup will seem more sincere. In the meantime, I would work on myself (learning to play an instrument, putting on more muscle, and working on better expressing appreciation to my friends and loved ones.) Does this seem like a valid strategy? Should I keep our snapchat streak to maintain a precedent of simple communication, or should I go full-on no contact and break it?

Most daring for me is this: I gave her an ultimatum on our second date (before I know about the abuse and before I thought she was anything but a hookup) that I thought of blowjobs as a prerequisite for ANY relationship I had. She gave me two all told, but I later found out that blowjobs are the one thing that really really triggers her bad memories. That experience stuck with her, and it will be hard to convince her that the ultimatum was bullshit (for her. Like I said, I initially expected a quick hookup until I realized how intelligent and caring she was. Then, my outlook changed. I fell in love because of how much she cared about me.)

Lastly, thanks for everything Chase. I'm a natural introvert who has been reading your blog for 6 years. You've really helped me become a more social person (senior class president!), a better, more empathic friend, and a more skillful lover. I know the scenario above bucks most of your fundamental advice, I know this girl is broken, and I know I am "whipped," but I'm a simple high schooler who has run his course with hook ups in my local area, and this girl is someone who deserves someone willing to dote on her before she goes into the hyper-sexualized college culture. I want to have something I can look back and smile about later, and I am confident I have the willpower to make it happen. A response would really, really mean a lot.

Best,
Anon

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I try not to advise on specific-girl scenarios in the comments sections these days. It's very time consuming, and as soon as I start doing it every article gets 30 comments from guys who want solutions to each of their own specific-girl scenarios.

My suggestion is you grab an account on our discussion forum, and post your scenario in the Relationships Board. We have some guys there who offer great relationship advice, and our moderator (Franco) is often quite active on Relationships too.

Chase

James D's picture

You've no idea how long I've been dreaming of this article!

James D

Carver Montana's picture

Hey Chase. This article got me thinking of a lot of comebacks, both (failed and successful) that I've attempted in the past. It also made me think of some examples I've seen from popular culture.

In the case of the latter, I know that you were big into the rap scene at one time, as I. was myself You're no doubt familiar with the tactics of battle rapping and how the tactics in this article can be applied to a rap battle.

The greatest example of agree-then-mock that comes to my mind is the climax scene from the movie 8 Mile. Rabbit goes to face off in a rematch in the final round against Papa Doc. Papa Doc had beaten him previously by delivering a bruising takedown that left Rabbit choking and unable to respond. This time, armed with more confidence and social savvy, Rabbit starts off the battle by agreeing with everything that Papa Doc had used in the first battle to take him down, thus disarming him of anything he could use as an attack. Rabbit then proceeds to mock Papa Doc as soft and a fake , destroying any cred that he had built within the social circle of the club. When Papa Doc's turn comes, he's the one left choking and humiliated.

Anyway, great article. It really got the gears turning!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Carver-

Great example. Yes, that scene was full-on agree, then mock.

Basically no coming back for the other guy at that point!

Chase

Kol's picture

Chase,
Say you're getting insulted across a loud classroom with few people listening. Do you lose social power if you turn slowly, smile at them like they are idiots and get back to minding your business?

Kol

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Kol-

It depends on what they're saying / how bad it is. But you probably need something stronger than that, since it's a very public attack.

I might do something like turn slowly, look the guy in the eyes, point at him, point at my crotch, then make a two-handed "guiding the head of someone sucking my cock" motion. Then turn back around the way I was looking before.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Touche... was not expecting that, but I see its necessity in a public attack.

Instead of shouting, everyone can see your 'moves' ;D

pp's picture

Beautiful piece, Chase, but as you mentioned it's not good to use comebacks with someone with authority. It's clear why, it stings and they might find way to make you regret your mockery. It's okay.

But it doesn't answer, what's then? For example I have few years of experience in workforce, and there's a guy who has some authority over me. He isn't direct manager, but still his word counts, and he constantly finds ways to show his importance and sees people in two categories:
- The ones who are equals or with more power, that must be deal with respectfully.
- The ones who work shorter times here, so are "below" him, unless you're direct relative of somebody in management you will be seen as a powerless being and have to deal with subtle mockery from his, as long as you treat him as equal.
I'm doing my best when dealing with him, but it gets annoying when I don't lick his ass, so he finds subtle ways to make a social retard. I may tell a joke, that everyone laughs at, and he asks me to explain why it's funny at all, subtly trying to win power battle of social effort, where I am pushed into situation where I have explain myself or things like that.
It's getting more and more annoying, to the point where it's really, either someone with more experience explains me how to deal with authorities mocking you right way, or I'll have to try whatever and see what sticks. For now it's a casual annoyance where I know I'm doing something wrong, but I can't get a clue what it is. Maybe I have too combative vibe and he feels threatened, maybe something else.
It's quite obvious he wants to feel important, as he emphasizes his smarts often by self qualifying like "I banged several girls last month" or "That another worker doesn't mean a thing to me, because he has less power here".
Should I succumb to appreciate his "power" or are there better ways?

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