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Why do guys so often end up with hot-but-crazy girls as their
breakthrough girlfriends? Due to the hot/crazy discount.
Over my years in the dating niche, I’ve become aware of an interesting trend. Inexperienced men, time and again, after slaving away to do better with girls, end up with gorgeous-yet-crazy women. And often get quite attached to them, until they have a dramatic breakup at some point.
I’ve seen it happen again and again. It happened to me as well. Much of the time, it seems to be unavoidable: the less experienced guy finally ends up with this girl who is just so hot... but also, well, a little nuts.
Sure, there are experienced men who date crazy girls too. Some guys
have certain issues that lead them to end up with crazy chicks time and
again. Or sometimes you meet a ‘stealth crazy’ who was extra good at
hiding the bats in her belfry (though you’ll still catch her fast if you know what to look for).
But by and large, the “I’m dating this girl and she is so
hot... but she’s also crazy” phenomenon is one you see primarily among
a.) less experienced daters, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, b.)
intermediate daters.
But here’s the interesting part of the pattern: the hot/crazy girlfriend is often a breakthrough girlfriend for a guy... she’s the first girl in her looks class a guy has managed to bed, let alone get into a relationship. After a guy breaks up with a hot/crazy girlfriend, he’ll typically go on to date similarly attractive women to his ex, except that these next girlfriends are sane (or saner, in any event).
Why should this be so? Why are hot/crazy girls so often the gateway drug to the hot girl castle?
Because hot/crazy girls are easier to have sex with and date than hot/sane girls.
Comments
Was my comment the inspiration??
Hey Chase,
Dude it's like you understood my situation when you've answered my question about my jealous Cluster B hot girl and you said to yourself I know what this guy is been going through, let's write an article about that..!
Awesome, man
John
Comment
John-
Yes, your comment was the inspiration for this post. Usually I try to mention the inspiring comment in the lede, but didn't see a good way to make it fit here.
To anyone just tuning in, John's comment (and my original response) is here:
Jealousy Cluster B
Chase
It's hard to tell though
Hey Chase,
I think it's hard to tell though who is crazy and who is not. A girl who rejects me can still be crazy and easy but she still might prefere somebody else, while a hot and sane girl might like me instantly and wants to hook up with me because she feels like having sex with me after months of living like a nun. Maybe it's a numbers game as well in the end
Chase, have you ever done a topic about what a "fun guy" is all about and why women like to have fun all the time (I don't mean sex), like partying, travelling, going out and stuff? Women like guys they can have fun with but nearly all men I know do those things just to get laid. It seems like they don't enjoy it for the fun's sake, I don't either. I feel pretty lazy trying to entertain women these days, never actually liked it in the past as well. I have friends who act sick just to avoid going out with their girlfriends or meeting new people and friends of hers. Why do men become lazy while women seem to never lose joy in doing those things and how can we gain our joy back if at all? I have my own theory but I would like to read about your oppinion on this first.
Telling Boy-Crazy Girls; What is a "Fun Guy"?
BMontana-
Ooh, that's a good topic, the fun guy. And why girls love this. But guys mostly just do fun things to get girls. Yeah, that's true. I know few men that lead super fun lifestyles purely because they love the adrenaline. Much more often they do things for girls. I suspect women are drawn to it because the men who do do these things are showing a number of good qualities, and also advertising themselves as short-term mates; a girl knows she's going to get laid and have a fun time doing it. But I should probably have a think on it and give it proper treatment in an article.
Knowing how boy-crazy a girl is more about probing her background a bit, and looking for the various signs women of different partner count levels display. More detail on guestimating her partner count here. However, that might be something I ought to do a proper article on too. [EDIT: on second thought, my recent article "21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar" effectively doubles as a "boy-crazy traits list" you can go down to identify a girl who's boy-crazy. So I'd suggest that article if you're looking for a guide]
Chase
Great read, and perfect
Great read, and perfect timing as I'm going though this exact breakthrough right now! Just started regularly seeing a "hot/crazy" girl and this article totally nails how I've felt the last 2 weeks. Can't believe how spot-on this is. Very insightful piece.
Appearance and competiton / Cold approaches and Crazy Hot
Hey Chase,
Great article, just some questions
Re: Appearance
In Vancouver, 90% I would say have all those down. how can I be more sexy and stand out from the crowd?
Re: Cold approach and Crazy
So what we do, and the ones that go well (numbers and dates etc.) are also most likely crazy or sexually open (liberated). That makes sense. The ones who are open to sex, tend to not be the traditional type, and tend to be open to new experiences, which explains why they're open to getting approached (not mainstream here at least)
But the ones who are open to fast intimacy are also the "crazy" ones.
Which then indicate the ones that aren't going to be a pain when first date lay is our goal.
So, many would say (including other writers on here) "let's filter out the noncrazy ones and find ones open to sex. Makes life easier".
As they gain more experience, they have more ability to "outlast" the objection dance that noncrazy gives them.
Thus, noncrazy becomes assessible to them and become their conservative girlfriends (if that is what they want) and boom, the door is open.
Hence, live and learn...
I'm fine with this as long as they aren't mentally crazy and stalks me after a hook up.
But in such a hard difficult environment (everyone fundamentals are high), and without easy access logistics, quite the dilemma to tackle. Namely,
1. No logistics, No ball-istics
2. Everyone is highly skilled, more competition, and women are more picky because of what's available to them.
Despite of vancouver having more female than males, this is an interesting hand of cards...
I want to first tackle on the hot/crazy.
How do we filter out sane (I can't believe I'm saying this, nah I am XD) girls so we can make progress?
With crazy, heck maybe they'll be "crazy" enough to solve the logistics problem ;)
if you see what I did there
One problem down!
Now the prelude...making ourselves attractive to out-compete and get the attention of these crazy/hot girls in the first place...
Also facial hair, despite of my family having lustrous facial hair, I can only grow some on my chin, and moustache thin. Only few hairs on jaw. And it's not thick. Can't really do a stubble, can I?
Thanks Chase,
Lawliet
Finding Crazy Girls; Competing in a Highly Competitive Locale
Lawliet-
The tougher the environment, the more competitive you need to be. In places like Vancouver, you essentially get a sexual arms race among men. There are a lot of extremely muscular men in Vancouver, for instance, because men just have to compete that hard to try to get women there, and muscles are one way to do that.
Do this, but in reverse:
Still grow out what you can grow out.
But in the meantime, find other fundmentals you can level up more, and focus on those. Each additional 1% edge adds up over time.
Chase
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