Why Can't You Find a Loyal Woman? | Girls Chase

Why Can't You Find a Loyal Woman?

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a GirlsChase.com subscriber? Log in here.

Chase Amante's picture

find a loyal woman
To men, women can seem disloyal… Or at least, not nearly as loyal as men. What’s it take to find a loyal lady anyway?

One of the most discombobulating romantic statements I hear from men goes like this:

I just want to find a girl that’s loyal.

It’s not discombobulating because women can’t be loyal. Plenty of men throughout history, down through to today, have had women deeply loyal to them.

The statement discombobulates, rather, because you cannot ‘find’ loyal women. Any more than you can dig deep into a diamond mine in search of engagement rings, or wander into the African savanna on the lookout for trained circus lions. You may find diamonds in the diamond mine, but you won’t find rings; you might find lions in the savanna, but they won’t be trained. So it is with women.

Some women are more inclined toward loyalty than others, it’s true. But women by nature are opportunistic. They are romantic guns-for-hire, ready to serve whoever makes the best offer... and eminently practical when the lord they’d hoped to sign on with is unable or unwilling to give them the agreement they need.

“I want to find a loyal woman” is a foundational misunderstanding of female psychology. It projects male values onto female prospects.

But women aren’t men. And the way they think about loyalty, treat it, and uphold or enforce it is very, very different.

Comments

BMontana's picture

Hey, Chase,

another good article of yours. Honestly, I appreciate any information this side provides for us but the more I read articles the more I feel like MGTOW is right, women are way too much work and selfish in order to be in a good longterm relationship. GC is actually more diplomatic than MGTOW and provides way more backround informations about women's nature and psychology but other than that it feels like it's not worth it putting so much effort to get with a hot woman, who not only could leave and cheat on you any time if you don't follow all the rules but who actually will also become less attractive through the years anyway.

I think the biggest problem men have to deal with is to prevent falling in love with any woman. It's just too easy to fall in love with women these days because they all look hot and go to the gym. Unfortunaetly our standards are way lower than theirs and that won't change any soon and that's why we have to follow all those rules to keep or get a woman. Like I said it's interesting reading those articles but the more I read the more I feel like not dealing with women at all. I lose trust in them

Author
Chase Amante's picture

BMontana-

I suppose I use extreme examples here. Careful not to read a requirement for extremity into it. Men and women aren't extreme in real life (at least, not most of them). I use extreme examples to illustrate, not to set a benchmark.

If your aim is just a cute-enough, quiet, less experienced girlfriend, you don't have to be some uber playboy to get her. Just a cut above ordinary is all it takes for her.

Unless you're socially hopeless (i.e., it will take mountains and mountains of work for you to get anywhere with women) AND also low sex drive (i.e., don't really care that much if you get women), you can get a woman you'll be happy with with a modicum of self-improvement. And for a lot of guys, I find their dream girls aren't model-quality beautiful, with smarts and personality. They just want a girl they're comfortable with; and there are plenty of girls who fit the bill for that.

Chase

Ing's picture

How do you know if your sex drive is low? I'm horny as hell if I don't ejaculate for 7-10 days but I've never looked at a woman and gotten hard or sexually excited or thought how much I want to fuck her whatsoever.

Marc's picture

I know it's easy for the connection to keep a girl loyal when most men around are only marginally better as it dictated by the bell curve. But if a very far statistical outlier of a man (Christian Grey) wants her and tries his hands at her can I be certain that following all your procedures she won't be disloyal? Or is this riding on the fact that it is very unlikely to happen?

Franco Lombardi's picture

Marc,

I believe the point of this post was to help you understand why a woman would be more loyal to a "Christian Grey" rather than your average Joe Schmoe. So instead of thinking, "how do I prevent Christian Grey from stealing my woman's loyalty?" you should be be thinking, "how do I make myself more like Christian Grey so that I can invoke loyalty in all women very easily?"

Something to think about! :)

- Franco

BMontana's picture

The problem though is that there is just one Christian Grey out of 1000 men. Let's face it, non of us will ever become a Christian Grey because if that was possible for any guy then being Christian Grey wouldn't be special anymore und you would need to be above him.

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

You're misunderstanding. There's nothing particularly special about Christian Grey -- unless you're referring to the money he has in the book (which, if you're a frequent reader of GirlsChase, you know is mostly irrelevant to game and attraction).

What Christian Grey exerts is "romantic, sexual dominance" over women; he knows how to crank a woman's gears to get her wanting more of him, and he does it in ways that are relatively easy to emulate if you know what you're doing, and especially if you know how women think.

The reason women love the book is that they know a lot of men won't do what Christian Grey does, so he becomes this rare breed of man that is difficult to come by. But the exact intention of this website is to craft you into that type of man that Christian Grey represents. =)

- Franco

BMontana's picture

Hey Franco,

the Christian Grey character is actually an interesting topic by itself. Maybe you could give some examples what makes you think why women like him. To me it's just obvious and I think you could only adapt his character if you fullfil parts of his character.

There are many things that women find attractive about him and most of them are quite obvious. Not only is he wealthy and hot/good looking but he is a troubled guy as well, which makes men, especially attractive and rich men, more interesting. So imo women feel also attracted to him because he makes their nurturing nature take charge of them as well. Here is a quote about his appereance: "As quoted by Anastasia, 'He is not merely good looking - he is the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking'." So basicly his money, looks and demons will attract any woman, cause he got it all in one and he is a also gentleman and bad boy at the same time. You will hardly find a guy like him in reality.

"The reason women love the book is that they know a lot of men won't do what Christian Grey does, so he becomes this rare breed of man that is difficult to come by."

Exactly. Now put the average Joe in his shoes and substract wealth and looks and you got a freak. Some women will like him still but most probably won't even give him a chance to know him. Grey does things that most men couldn't do, like taking a woman out with a helicopter and that will impress any woman and build their view of him as a dark Mr. Perfect. Christian Grey is basicly a modern prince charming and Batman. lol

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

Not only is he wealthy and hot/good looking but he is a troubled guy as well, which makes men, especially attractive and rich men, more interesting. So imo women feel also attracted to him because he makes their nurturing nature take charge of them as well.

Correct, and we talk about this when referring to having "byronic" traits to give the impression of a man with many layers. Women love the idea of unwrapping a man's layers one by one, and hopefully finding a man that is not only sexy but also passionate and deep as well.

So basicly his money, looks and demons will attract any woman, cause he got it all in one and he is a also gentleman and bad boy at the same time. You will hardly find a guy like him in reality.

Exactly like him? Of course. He's a fictional character based on the "perfect" man, as was intended by the author. But how many men do you know like Christian Grey to the point where you'd feel threatened that your own woman would fall victim to his appeal? And probably even more importantly, what makes you think a man like that would make time for your woman? I'll get more into that in a moment.

Now put the average Joe in his shoes and substract wealth and looks and you got a freak. Some women will like him still but most probably won't even give him a chance to know him.

Why are you subtracting looks? Looks are a much more complicated topic than what 50 Shades seems to imply, and I bet many women wouldn't find Christian Grey anywhere near the epitome of male beauty. (EDIT: As a matter of fact, one of our female readers below [J.J.] even mentions that Grey doesn't get her all that excited -- I believe she's shared an image of a heavily bearded man that is much more her type in the past)

So if the average Joe actually works on his fundamentals and cultivates a byronic persona, the only thing he's missing at that point is the "wealth" of Christian Grey. And you're correct that only very few men have that kind of wealth AND looks/personality.

This leads me back to the last thing I wanted to discuss: if there are so few men like Christian Grey in this world, what makes you think that a Christian Grey wants anything to do with a woman that you might be seeing? I actually happen to have a few connections to the "famous" world of actors and Hollywood, and I can tell you right now that most of them are not interested in courting your "taken" woman. Men of that stature have hordes and hordes of beautiful, single women throwing themselves at them that they won't even run into your woman, and if they did, they likely wouldn't put much effort into "getting" her either. And even if they did, men of this level of power have ZERO interest in a relationship with a woman who isn't of equivalent stature and/or power, so it would be a one-night stand at best. Most single women (who aren't also famous) understand this as well -- they know the man's attainability is near zero, so they approach the scenario with a strong understanding that it's probably just for one-time sex.

The reason a 50 Shades of Grey scenario would never, ever happen in the real world is that Anastasia is supposed to be a completely normal, average woman being courted by a supremely powerful man. THAT is why the book is so popular. A normal woman knows that a man of that stature would never desire her the way that Christian Grey desires Anastasia, and the "amazing fantasy" behind that book lies in the fact that Grey desires Anastasia in a sexually powerful way (that he is apparently incapable of doing with other women, otherwise he would do it), which is what makes him so alluring to the average female reader. Every woman "desires to be desired" by a strong man, and that's what the book is so good at portraying.

Anyway, because of all this, worrying about whether or not a Christian Grey can steal your woman is a moot point. Christian Grey does not exist, and no man like him really exists. All rich/famous/powerful men usually either (1) sleep with tons and tons of beautiful women with no intention of settling for "one" woman [i.e. Dan Bilzerian/Charlie Sheen] or (2) marry another powerful woman of similar stature [i.e. Jay-Z and Beyonce].

- Franco

BMontana's picture

Yeah I remember that article about byronic men. I haven't read it in a long time but I will re-read it.

"And probably even more importantly, what makes you think a man like that would make time for your woman?"

Well, remember that article that Chase wrote recently about whether men or women suffer more in the dating world? I was discussing it with Chase and I agreed with almost everything he said, but more importantly, we agreed on one simple fact: even the hottest and most popular guys will sleep with a 5 or 6 (attraction scale), because that's what men do at times, right? Ben Affleck, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hugh Grant, Jude Law and many more male celebs, guys who are cosidered to be the hottest and most desired men in the world, they have all cheated on their wives and girlfriends and slept with nannies, housekeepers or cheap hookers even when they were with women like Liz Hurley. The problem is that once a medicore woman sleeps with a top notch man she will think of herself as a top notch woman, so why would she still be with me? This is just me hypothetically speaking.

"Why are you subtracting looks? (...) As a matter of fact, one of our female readers below [J.J.] even mentions that Grey doesn't get her all that excited... "

Yeah, but c'mon we all know that women often say a and do b. How many times have you heard a woman say she would never fall for a macho or player or she would never date an selfish asshole? Usually they already have, that's why they get so infurious about it when asked. As a matter of fact even women magazines, those kinds of magazins written by feminists, say that women fall for CG because he is rich, very attractive and a prince charming who can provide a luxurious life for them. They explain it due to biological reasons of course, obviously to not make it look as if women were shallow. lol

"if there are so few men like Christian Grey in this world, what makes you think that a Christian Grey wants anything to do with a woman that you might be seeing?"

Sex! And the feeling they can still get any woman they want, even those who are in relationships. I mean Gene Simmons, Charlie Sheen and Magic Johnson have claimed to have had sex with thousands of women, so what are the chances that all of them were female models, actresses and self made business women? Chances are very low. Most of them were typical non-celebrity and non-rich women, they were most likely party girls, girl next door type of women, college students, groupies, hookers, fans, married wives etc.

"Men of that stature have hordes and hordes of beautiful, single women throwing themselves at them that they won't even run into your woman, and if they did, they likely wouldn't put much effort into "getting" her either. "

But that's what I was talking about above, those hordes of women aren't supermodels at all, usually they are normal to highly attractive women, women that aren't even famous at all. My woman could be one of them, just like thousands and thousands of other women. Sure, they don't have to put any effort to get them at all, they just can pick them up.

"And even if they did, men of this level of power have ZERO interest in a relationship with a woman who isn't of equivalent stature and/or power, so it would be a one-night stand at best."

That's all that matters to us, since this article implied that a man's biggest fear is when his wive or girlfriend sleeps with another man. Once she did that, there is no return, so it doesn't really matter whether she comes back to me or not if she already cheated on me. I would dump her anyway.

"Most single women (who aren't also famous) understand this as well -- they know the man's attainability is near zero, so they approach the scenario with a strong understanding that it's probably just for one-time sex."

I am not sure about that, infact I actually believe women are more delusional. Like I mentioned before, when the Alpha guy sleeps with a 5, she most likely not only will fall in love with this guy but she will think she deserves those type of men. Like you said "All rich/famous/powerful men usually either (1) sleep with tons and tons of beautiful women with no intention of settling for "one" woman....."

Us men, we are realistic enough to know that a kiss from Beyonce will be the highest of things we can expect from her. That's why men usually dream about banging the cashier from the supermarket, while women dream about marrying or sleeping with Ryan Gosling.

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

You really aren't giving women enough credit here, lol. Women are not quite as gullible as you are making them out to be -- I get the feeling that a lot of your statements are based purely on reading/speculation and not on common scenarios and outcomes, but I'll attempt to address that in this response.

I was discussing it with Chase and I agreed with almost everything he said, but more importantly, we agreed on one simple fact: even the hottest and most popular guys will sleep with a 5 or 6 (attraction scale), because that's what men do at times, right? Ben Affleck, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hugh Grant, Jude Law and many more male celebs, guys who are cosidered to be the hottest and most desired men in the world, they have all cheated on their wives and girlfriends and slept with nannies, housekeepers or cheap hookers even when they were with women like Liz Hurley.

Yes, this occasionally happens, but not nearly as often as you might think, at least with men of this caliber. When it DOES happen with men of this caliber, it happens to them out of pure convenience (think Schwarzenegger with the housekeeper -- she's right there already in his home with his wife gone, and he's famous, so it's extremely low-hanging fruit).

The problem is that once a medicore woman sleeps with a top notch man she will think of herself as a top notch woman, so why would she still be with me? This is just me hypothetically speaking.

This is not true. Just because a woman happens to stumble onto a famous cock does not mean she gets completely brainwashed and feels like she now "deserves" that level of cock for the rest of her life. Women are much more rational than that. They are always at least semi-aware of their own value based on their current social status and their experiences, so if the additive sum of her total experiences tells her she's attractive but not top quality, then she's going to seek out men who are also attractive while knowing that the "top quality" isn't realistically available to her for a relationship.

Keep in mind women are always evaluating relationship opportunities.

Yeah, but c'mon we all know that women often say a and do b. How many times have you heard a woman say she would never fall for a macho or player or she would never date an selfish asshole?

Just because a woman often says one thing and does another does not mean you should completely ignore everything they say. A random woman telling you she would never fall for a macho player or asshole is a much more "vague" statement than "I find this guy here [provides picture] much more attractive than this guy here [provides second picture]." A woman doing this is likely telling you that she's had great experiences with a man that looks more like the man in the second picture and has had less fruitful experiences with a man from the first picture, therefore, she finds the second man more attractive than the first.

It's important to not make sweeping, black and white generalizations with what women say and instead adjust your interpretation of their words into a more realistic result. Generally, yes, you should take what women say with a grain of salt. But their words always have a rational reasoning behind them, so you should always think about "how does saying this help her agenda?" when you hear a woman say something. (Taking the prior example, how does J.J. making an entire post about her not finding Christian Grey attractive help her as a person? It probably doesn't help her at all, so the reasoning behind her making the post is probably deeper than "she's just saying one thing and doing another to cause confusion on a GC article")

Sex! And the feeling they can still get any woman they want, even those who are in relationships. I mean Gene Simmons, Charlie Sheen and Magic Johnson have claimed to have had sex with thousands of women, so what are the chances that all of them were female models, actresses and self made business women? Chances are very low. Most of them were typical non-celebrity and non-rich women, they were most likely party girls, girl next door type of women, college students, groupies, hookers, fans, married wives etc.

So are you saying that you're dating women that are party girls, college students, groupies, and hookers? :P

All of these women are rather liberal when it comes to sex to begin with. You're overestimating the amount of effort these celebrities want to put into getting sex. Even with the Arnold example I gave you earlier, the housekeeper was "low-hanging fruit" available to him at basically no cost. Generally tons of women throw themselves at these guys, and they are only interested in taking the ones that are willing to put out immediately -- they aren't looking to "steal" a girl or form any type of relationship, so any women that attempt to play games are out of the picture.

As Charlie Sheen once quoted, "I don't pay prostitutes for sex; I pay them to leave."

That's all that matters to us, since this article implied that a man's biggest fear is when his wive or girlfriend sleeps with another man. Once she did that, there is no return, so it doesn't really matter whether she comes back to me or not if she already cheated on me. I would dump her anyway.

I wouldn't dump my girlfriend if she had a one-night fling with some celebrity. I probably would never know about it anyway because it would just be a one-night fling, lol. As a matter of fact, it's great to know that my girl was valuable enough to be desired by a man of extremely high value. It means I picked a girl that is highly attractive to valuable men.

As Chase also mentioned, women view that type of sex as less of a betrayal than forming an emotional connection with another man. So I would probably be more likely to dump my girl if she slept with the cute neighbor down the street rather than if she slept with a famous actor. With the neighbor, it could possibly mean that she has an emotional connection with him, and thus my relationship would be on thin ice at that point because she's sleeping with men who are attainable to her. Attainability is key to understanding a lot of what I'm saying here, and I'll get more into that as well.

I am not sure about that, infact I actually believe women are more delusional.

I can see that you think that!

Like I mentioned before, when the Alpha guy sleeps with a 5, she most likely not only will fall in love with this guy but she will think she deserves those type of men. Like you said "All rich/famous/powerful men usually either (1) sleep with tons and tons of beautiful women with no intention of settling for "one" woman....."

That's unfortunate if you believe that women think this way -- you'll forever be highly cynical of women if you don't change this method of thinking. And they will likely eventually reject you in relationships because they will sense that cynicism from within you.

Give women more credit. They are highly emotional individuals, but they are highly rational as well. They make mistakes, like men do, but they are capable of making decisions that aren't completely detrimental to their goal of finding a long-lasting relationship with a suitable man.

If your above statement was true, then men who aren't celebrities, famous, or Greek Gods would basically never be able to procreate, and sex would be an extremely rare thing in our society because there would not be enough top tier men to go around.

Us men, we are realistic enough to know that a kiss from Beyonce will be the highest of things we can expect from her. That's why men usually dream about banging the cashier from the supermarket, while women dream about marrying or sleeping with Ryan Gosling.

You're thinking about this incorrectly. Men dream about banging the cashier from the supermarket because she's probably more attractive than Beyonce, and men put physical attractiveness as a high priority. I don't even find Beyonce that attractive because she's not my type -- I can go downtown right now and find 20+ women in the span of a few hours that I would much rather bang than Beyonce.

On the other hand, women desire men of high social status, and celebrities represent the highest echelon of that. At the same time, women are very much aware of the fact that their own social status pales in comparison to that of actors, so they are relatively level-headed about what types of men are within their grasp and what types of men aren't.

This is why we have articles on this website about "attainability" and its effect on women. Many of the articles address the issue that guys have when they appear unattainable (i.e. appearing too "powerful" for a woman). Sometimes we have to inform these guys that they need to raise their attainability so that a woman feels like she has a shot at having you in a relationship; if she feels like you're way out of her league, she'll auto-reject.

I would read some more articles about "attainability" on here and it should help you understand why these women aren't all chasing relationships with men like Christian Grey.

- Franco

BMontana's picture

If life, GC and other websites has taught me one thing about women, then it's that women are ultimate opportunists, right? ;-)

"Yes, this occasionally happens, but not nearly as often as you might think, at least with men of this caliber. When it DOES happen with men of this caliber, it happens to them out of pure convenience ..."

Why occasionally? What are the chances that those guys sleep with hot models only? Btw men don't always go for the beauties, they often go for Milfs, chubby women etc. cause we like the "dirty fuck" as well, don't we? If I were Arnold I would have banged his houskeeper as well, because she was different and not any less attractive than Maria (I am not a cheater btw). lol

"This is not true. Just because a woman happens to stumble onto a famous cock does not mean she gets completely brainwashed and feels like she now "deserves" that level of cock for the rest of her life. Women are much more rational than that. They are always at least semi-aware of their own value based on their current social status and their experiences, so if the additive sum of her total experiences tells her she's attractive but not top quality, then she's going to seek out men who are also attractive while knowing that the "top quality" isn't realistically available to her for a relationship."

Well you are giving women too much credit lol

I just quote Chase from the discussion we have had with him from the comment section article "who has it harder in the 21sr century...".

Chase: "Except that in younger women's case, in a casual sexual environment, girls who are 6s are getting attention from men who are 10s. It takes time for them to realize the 10 males will not commit to them. In the meantime, they assume that since male 10s want them, maybe they are 10s too."

That's what I was thinking as well. it takes them a long time to actually accept that they are still a 6.

"A woman doing this is likely telling you that she's had great experiences with a man that looks more like the man in the second picture and has had less fruitful experiences with a man from the first picture, therefore, she finds the second man more attractive than the first. "

Isn't that the point I was trying to make? Women who usually say they don't like man A, say this because they have already slept with that guy, probably multiple times (I am not referring to the user who said she didn't like CG, I am just talking in general). In my oppinion most women between 18 and 30 go for the same men (tall, good looking, bad boy/alpha guy), once they hit their 30s it's more about status, career and family and less about looks and the bad boy thing.

"So are you saying that you're dating women that are party girls, college students, groupies, and hookers? :P"

I don't date groupies. lol

"Generally tons of women throw themselves at these guys, and they are only interested in taking the ones that are willing to put out immediately -- they aren't looking to "steal" a girl or form any type of relationship, so any women that attempt to play games are out of the picture."

Exactly, that's why those women don't play games at all. I never said male celebs chase them, I was implying that they don't give a fuck whether those women are married or not, as long as they throw themselves at them. They enjoy having sex with them because it turns them on. I talk from experience because I have met and slept with women who are married or in relationships. It's an easy game: they WANT YOU and you don't have to make any effort, they do the work, they call you, they need you more than you need them. You just enoy the sex knowing they will leave anyway.

"As a matter of fact, it's great to know that my girl was valuable enough to be desired by a man of extremely high value. It means I picked a girl that is highly attractive to valuable men."

Lol She still fucked another cock though. Like I said, guys like Charlie Sheen have slept with thousands of women and I don't think he gave a damn whether those girls were high value or not, he was just in for the sex. Maybe he just found them hot for the moment, nothing more, nothing less.

"So I would probably be more likely to dump my girl if she slept with the cute neighbor down the street rather than if she slept with a famous actor. With the neighbor, it could possibly mean that she has an emotional connection with him, and thus my relationship would be on thin ice at that point because she's sleeping with men who are attainable to her."

I get that. I also would rather want my girl to have cheated on me with Ryan Gosling, than the paper boy, but in both cases I wouldn't be able to be with her anymore or lets put it this way, I hardly believe my gf would be down to date me again after sleeping with Gosling because of all the things I have mentioned above. If you slept with the hottest women in the city, you might not find your gf as attractive anymore. If you say you loved her, well maybe you wouldn't have cheated on her in the first place. It's hard to tell

"That's unfortunate if you believe that women think this way -- you'll forever be highly cynical of women if you don't change this method of thinking. "

Isn't that what Girls Chase is all about in the end? Telling men that women are opportunists, who go for the most valuable men? Most of GC articles are about what WE do wrong with women, what WE don't know about them, what WE should change and most importantly what MISTAKES WE should prevent in order to be with women and keep them. Helly yeah, you become cynical when thinking about all the rules that you have to follow. ;-)

"If your above statement was true, then men who aren't celebrities, famous, or Greek Gods would basically never be able to procreate, and sex would be an extremely rare thing in our society because there would not be enough top tier men to go around."

In reality there are not enough top tier men around, but don't they sleep with hundreds and even thousands of women? That doesn't mean women won't sleep with the average Joes or commit to them either.

"You're thinking about this incorrectly. Men dream about banging the cashier from the supermarket because she's probably more attractive than Beyonce, and men put physical attractiveness as a high priority. I don't even find Beyonce that attractive because she's not my type -- I can go downtown right now and find 20+ women in the span of a few hours that I would much rather bang than Beyonce."

I partly agree. I only mentioned Beyonce because she is a celeb. But what I was trying to say is that we would rather sleep with what's avaible to us (and we think is hot) than dreaming about sleeping with our favorite porn actress or singer.

"On the other hand, women desire men of high social status, and celebrities represent the highest echelon of that. At the same time, women are very much aware of the fact that their own social status pales in comparison to that of actors, so they are relatively level-headed about what types of men are within their grasp and what types of men aren't."

Well let's put it this way: a woman I know had a crush on the soccer player Andrei Shevchenko. She married an ingeneer later. I asked her how they had met. She told me their story but most importantly she said "When I first saw him, he looked like Andrei". Kind of like, I still wanted to marry my fake celebrity.

"This is why we have articles on this website about "attainability" and its effect on women. Many of the articles address the issue that guys have when they appear unattainable (i.e. appearing too "powerful" for a woman). Sometimes we have to inform these guys that they need to raise their attainability so that a woman feels like she has a shot at having you in a relationship; if she feels like you're way out of her league, she'll auto-reject."

Yeah I have read them and they are interesting. That's what I was talking about, when I said a guy has to follow 100 rules when it comes to women. I mean if you are too easy women will reject you, if you are not attainable they will auto-reject you as well. Hard to not become cynical at all lol

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

I just quote Chase from the discussion we have had with him from the comment section article "who has it harder in the 21sr century...".

Chase: "Except that in younger women's case, in a casual sexual environment, girls who are 6s are getting attention from men who are 10s. It takes time for them to realize the 10 males will not commit to them. In the meantime, they assume that since male 10s want them, maybe they are 10s too."

...

In my oppinion most women between 18 and 30 go for the same men (tall, good looking, bad boy/alpha guy), once they hit their 30s it's more about status, career and family and less about looks and the bad boy thing.

It doesn't take them a long time, trust me, lol.

I've long told friends of mine that I don't date girls between 21 and 23 because that's generally the time that they are attempting to find out what their actual value is. Most already have an idea by that point, but they'll often test the waters just in case they feel like they may be more valuable than they actually are.

The three years of 21-23 can be adjusted based on initial drinking age; it's 21-23 in the United States because that's when girls begin drinking and going to bars to get hit on by aggressive, attractive men. If the drinking age is 18 in your country, then it would be 18-20. If it was 16, then it would be 16-18, and so on.

It really doesn't take them that long to have a rough idea of where there value is at. The 18-30 marker is way off, and you're missing out on the best age to take girlfriends (which I consider to be somewhere in the range of 24-27).

Keep in mind that Chase mentioned "younger" women (in which case I'm sure he was referring to early 20s) and "casual sexual environment" (in which case he was referring to bars and clubs, which is where you'll find [guess what?]... girls who are in their early 20s).

I never said male celebs chase them, I was implying that they don't give a fuck whether those women are married or not, as long as they throw themselves at them. They enjoy having sex with them because it turns them on. I talk from experience because I have met and slept with women who are married or in relationships. It's an easy game: they WANT YOU and you don't have to make any effort, they do the work, they call you, they need you more than you need them. You just enoy the sex knowing they will leave anyway.

But now isn't this contradicting your own point and supporting my point? Or maybe we've agreed since the beginning and it just hasn't been clear enough:

Powerful men will sleep with any women who throw themselves at them, but they will not take them into relationships.

So, yes, they just enjoy the sex knowing that they will leave anyway.

Therefore, most women know this instinctively, and they sleep with these men on the basis that they stand zero chance of luring them into a relationship.

in both cases I wouldn't be able to be with her anymore or lets put it this way, I hardly believe my gf would be down to date me again after sleeping with Gosling because of all the things I have mentioned above. If you slept with the hottest women in the city, you might not find your gf as attractive anymore. If you say you loved her, well maybe you wouldn't have cheated on her in the first place.

This still comes from a place of misunderstanding. You're assuming men and women are exactly alike here. But in fact, we're very different from each other when it comes to our goals with sex and relationships -- even biologically speaking.

My girlfriend sleeping with Ryan Gosling on a random night wouldn't bother me in the slightest because I would be well aware of the fact that he's out of reach for her in a relationship. (As a matter of fact, I don't even think she would do it at all simply because of what she has to put on the line with me to do so -- contrary to what you might believe, women are not the "ultimate" opportunists. A man is much more likely to throw his entire life away chasing an idea rather than a woman; women are much more rational and will attempt to protect everything they have that they consider to be valuable. If I make myself into an extremely valuable man, then risking her relationship with me for something that is 99.9% for sure to be out of reach for her would be out of the question, and she would know this).

Isn't that what Girls Chase is all about in the end? Telling men that women are opportunists, who go for the most valuable men? Most of GC articles are about what WE do wrong with women, what WE don't know about them, what WE should change and most importantly what MISTAKES WE should prevent in order to be with women and keep them. Helly yeah, you become cynical when thinking about all the rules that you have to follow. ;-)

Yes and no. Do you see Chase saying anywhere, "you must become Ryan Gosling or Christian Grey, otherwise women will forever cheat on you to find something better"?

No, right?

Your cynical because you're doing what most guys do when they read stuff that Chase writes on this website: when they see things like "move faster," they assume that means "move incredibly, blazingly fast ALL the time or you'll lose the girl." You're operating on the "extremes" of Chase's statements rather than recognizing the common scenarios that you're much more likely to experience.

Chase uses strong analogies and examples to paint simple pictures. The idea behind the website is that any man is capable of making himself valuable to women in the ways that capture their hearts -- if there wasn't a way to do this, then Chase wouldn't be writing about it. It would be pointless. He would write ONE article, and it would be titled, "Here's Why You Should Never Date Women -- Unless You're Ryan Gosling".

But he doesn't do that, right? :)

In reality there are not enough top tier men around, but don't they sleep with hundreds and even thousands of women? That doesn't mean women won't sleep with the average Joes or commit to them either.

Correct.

Well let's put it this way: a woman I know had a crush on the soccer player Andrei Shevchenko. She married an ingeneer later. I asked her how they had met. She told me their story but most importantly she said "When I first saw him, he looked like Andrei". Kind of like, I still wanted to marry my fake celebrity.

You're putting too much emphasis on one point of reference, lol. Most women don't marry guys because they look like their favorite famous person.

Not to mention you're giving zero credit to the engineer guy, as if his looks was 100% of the reason she married him. Again, if genetics determined a man's success with women, this website would be pointless.

Yeah I have read them and they are interesting. That's what I was talking about, when I said a guy has to follow 100 rules when it comes to women. I mean if you are too easy women will reject you, if you are not attainable they will auto-reject you as well. Hard to not become cynical at all lol

Depends what type of man you are! I'm an opportunist. ;)

When I see, "follow these 100 rules and you'll be able to meet awesome women and take them into relationships," I think, "WOW! Only 100 rules? Time to get studying!"

A lazy man thinks, "wow, 100 rules? Fuck that. Women suck."

So which are you -- the lazy man, or the opportunist who swims in pussy? ;)

- Franco

BMontana's picture

"I've long told friends of mine that I don't date girls between 21 and 23 because that's generally the time that they are attempting to find out what their actual value is."

Interesting Franco. So another rule you follow, because you know or are afraid of the consequences if you date a younger girl? See that's what I mean when I say WE have to follow many rules because you do it as well for obvious reasons. Btw, aren't you around the same age, like 23 or something? I might confuse you with another author but that would be interesting, becuase you then date women that older than you, right?

"The three years of 21-23 can be adjusted based on initial drinking age; it's 21-23 in the United States because that's when girls begin drinking and going to bars to get hit on by aggressive, attractive men. If the drinking age is 18 in your country, then it would be 18-20. If it was 16, then it would be 16-18, and so on."

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It's 16 in my country. But I am not sure when they stop drinking. lol

"The 18-30 marker is way off, and you're missing out on the best age to take girlfriends (which I consider to be somewhere in the range of 24-27)."

Well, obviously this is the age range that most men are looking and going for anyway. What I mean is that women between 18-30 are not that different at all from my experience. Sure they get more calm and mature with age, but it's not like they change their look of life at all, depending on the lifestyle etc. A 28 year old woman knows she most likely can't compete with a 23 year old fit goddess when it comes to looks but she still dreams about the same guy that the 23 year old woman dreams about. It might change later though.

"Keep in mind that Chase mentioned "younger" women (in which case I'm sure he was referring to early 20s) and "casual sexual environment" (in which case he was referring to bars and clubs, which is where you'll find [guess what?]... girls who are in their early 20s)."

I know. But women still like to dance, drink and show off, no matter the age, don't you think? I mean look, I am in my 30s and it's not like I have slept with 100s of women but I compare my experiences with those of other guys and my friends. I like mature women, I think they are often even hotter than younger girls, but for some reason the older I get, the more I feel attracted to younger girls (emotionally) and it's not like I want it that way but it has always been like that. When I say younger girls, I mean women in ther 20s, like 23-28. Of course I wouldn't mind sleeping with girls at age of 18, 19 or 20. lol But it's been 7 years since I had a crush on a girl who was almost my age then. And I feel like most women still dream about the same Mr. Perfect, no matter their age.

"But now isn't this contradicting your own point and supporting my point? Or maybe we've agreed since the beginning and it just hasn't been clear enough:

Powerful men will sleep with any women who throw themselves at them, but they will not take them into relationships. So, yes, they just enjoy the sex knowing that they will leave anyway."

Oh yes, I definately agree on this as far as the celebrity guys goes.

"Therefore, most women know this instinctively, and they sleep with these men on the basis that they stand zero chance of luring them into a relationship."

I see what you mean when you talk about me contradicting myself. However, this is the part, I don't agree with you at all. The women I have had affairs with wanted to leave their men, one woman wanted to have a baby with me and leave her husband. lol In the end some of them either divorced or had other affairs later. Those women however will not leave their husbands for a nobody immediately IF they have young kids, are married and the guy they are having an affair with is broken. But they also won't sleep with their husbands anymore. And keep in mind, women who have sex with other guys become emotionally attached to them, just like the girl who wanted a baby with me. But we were talking about celebrity guys who sleep with your girlfriends and those guys are on another level of attraction. And in most cases the women they sleep with are probably not married with kids, but a lot of them still have boyfriends. So do you think those women are as rational as women who are married with kids? Those women would dump their boyfriends like nothing imo and even married women might do the same if they really become attached.

Let me give you another example: How many women outthere are so called side chicks? Many! They are having affairs with married men and they still think that those men will leave their wives sooner or later and marry them. Those women are just delusional. And that's why I also think that women who are in relationships will not just have a ONS with a guy like Gosling and then leave automatically. They will fight at least if they can.

"My girlfriend sleeping with Ryan Gosling on a random night wouldn't bother me in the slightest because I would be well aware of the fact that he's out of reach for her in a relationship. (As a matter of fact, I don't even think she would do it at all simply because of what she has to put on the line with me to do so -- contrary to what you might believe, women are not the "ultimate" opportunists."

All I know is that whether she cheats on me with Gosling or the paper boy, it's still cheating even though I prefered her to sleep with Gosling. I wouldn't be able to handle this because I am sure her expectations of me would rise up and sooner or later she would leave me. It's also an ego thing from my perspective I guess, I just can't deal with a girlfriedn who cheated on me, even if it was Gosling. Show me a man who could handle this. I doubt it

"A man is much more likely to throw his entire life away chasing an idea rather than a woman; women are much more rational and will attempt to protect everything they have that they consider to be valuable. If I make myself into an extremely valuable man, then risking her relationship with me for something that is 99.9% for sure to be out of reach for her would be out of the question, and she would know this)."

Isn't chasing an idea rather than a woman still that's what men are supposed to do anyway? I mean when it comes to succesful men, they might cheat on their wives but a lot of them don't leave them (disregarding financial reasons). The way I see it, a woman will at least consider to leave you if she found somebody more valuable than you, especially if you a) are not married, b) have no kids together and c) she is still young, like 24 or 25.

"Yes and no. Do you see Chase saying anywhere, "you must become Ryan Gosling or Christian Grey, otherwise women will forever cheat on you to find something better"?
No, right?"

Not at that level maybe but basically yes, because all you guys say WE have to learn the basics, follow this and that rule in order to get and keep a girlfriend, to make her happy, to prevent her from leaving, cheating and getting bored with us. In order to do this you have to do this and that to become as valuable as possible and you still have to follow the rules. You see, that's not something you can do in a heartbeat. And even if, it takes one mistake on your part and you have to deal with all the drama again and again.

"Your cynical because you're doing what most guys do when they read stuff that Chase writes on this website: when they see things like "move faster," they assume that means "move incredibly, blazingly fast ALL the time or you'll lose the girl."

That would be the least of my concerns actually.

Getting a hot girl for sex can be hard but it's not impossible. Getting a good and hot girl as a girlfriend is very hard, because of many things like competition and her expectations in men. Getting that girl and keeping her, making her happy and preventing her from cheating and leaving you, is a fulltime job, considering that she gets hit on every day in person and social media. Don't you think?

"Chase uses strong analogies and examples to paint simple pictures. The idea behind the website is that any man is capable of making himself valuable to women in the ways that capture their hearts -- if there wasn't a way to do this, then Chase wouldn't be writing about it. It would be pointless. He would write ONE article, and it would be titled, "Here's Why You Should Never Date Women -- Unless You're Ryan Gosling".

But he doesn't do that, right? :)"

Right, and I appreciate all of your work guys! GC is different than most of those other PU websites who actually bore me to death with the same crap like "being alpha blah blah". At least you guys go deeper into the topic.

"Most women don't marry guys because they look like their favorite famous person."

Right, but they still dream about celebrity guys and if a guy fits the look of her celebrity crush, then that's a huge thing for them, especially when they are still young. Now that I think about it another girl, who was involved with a friend of mine told me she liked his looks because he looked like Ronaldo and there are many women who compare their boyfriends to celebs. I remember telling a 28 year old female co-worker who had a crush on Brad Pitt in her youth, that he wasn't as tall as she thought and she didn't believe me. Then another co-worker told her the same and she seemed shocked because she her perfect "man" wasn't that perfect anymore, he was only handsome and rich. lol I am not saying all women are like that, but the celebrity world definately affects women in one way or another through their lifes. Most women still think George Clooney is the perfect gentleman cause they read all the good stuff about him and watch his movies and confuse Clooney the perfect gentleman actor with Clooney the private person. If Clooney was just a regular guy he would still score with women but lots of women would probaby think of him as a cheater, egoist or maybe even a loser and long time bachelor, who refuses to settle because he likes to sleep around and use women for sex. But in the World of Hollywood Clooney just wasn't lucky until he met his future wife. lol

"When I see, "follow these 100 rules and you'll be able to meet awesome women and take them into relationships," I think, "WOW! Only 100 rules? Time to get studying!"

A lazy man thinks, "wow, 100 rules? Fuck that. Women suck."

So which are you -- the lazy man, or the opportunist who swims in pussy? ;)"

That still doesn't change the fact that you still have to follow those rules.. You called me cynical, yes I am, because you and I know that women are a fulltime job, unless you are ok with just hooking up at times and we also know what they don't have to put too much effort in getting attention from men. But it takes us years to evolve to the best version of us and that is still not a guarantee that we wil end up with the a great woman, at least for a couple of years. ;-)

Lawliet's picture

to pull out our dungeon chains and whips with masks while in a tux
;D

- Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Marc-

No, I don't sell absolute certainty. That's the domain of priests, fortune tellers, and snake oil salesmen. I don't tread there.

Even a Christian Grey (or some other top tier man of your choice) is vulnerable to another man peeling his woman off. A woman too long neglected by her Christian Grey may well shag the handyman or gardener in spite. Often it isn't even the über playboy you need to watch out for. It's the kinda cute, kinda funny, flirty-enough guy with ongoing access to her.

A woman's raw material make her more or less prone to fidelity. If you pick poorly, you can follow everything in this article and still find her spit-roasted by a pair of drunks she met at a dive one boozy Saturday night. Yet choose right, and apply this article, and you will have a very high probability of fidelity.

I think it's fairly important to make peace with the chance of infidelity, even as you take steps to bring it as close to zero as possible. If it's an insecurity of yours, you will attract the women who are best at assuaging it. And usually that means experienced women who know how good it feels to men to have a girl continually tell them she is "just for them" and "only for them" and "not for anybody else." Of course, the kind of women who will ply you with sweet nothings like this are also some of the most likely to do the exact opposite of them behind your back!

Still, you can get infidelity risk way down. Pick well, follow the steps in this article, and you'll have it considerably low.

If you're thinking "long term", I suggest you follow the steps in this article, too:

10 Steps to Not Get Raped in Your Divorce

It is specifically designed to avoid causes of rambunctiousness and rebellion in women long-term.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

There's actually a LOT of research on what you just said from my psychology class.
I'm literally climaxing at all the connections I made in my mind... (jokes...or am I :P)

The fact that women have such different mindset..."emotionally" is much more than some random fling you had.. because your emotional aspect is where your money might go, which was one of the evolution proposal in explanation... As for guys it's completely opposite. Her talking with ex doesn't matter as much as she fucked her ex where you can potentially be taking care of a child that's NOT YOURS!

Scary...gave me chills...hope you got them now too.
Sharing is caring ! ;)

Onwards...

Re: Am I being too nice?
I just approached a girl, and got to know her dreams and stuff.
I realize her bf called her and she also told me. So I kept chatting and then asked if they were serious (as noted in your bf article) and she said... not really, it's only 5 months and stuff.. so then I moved on and kept chatting with her and doing touch compliance and she complied. Turning her no's into mutual agreement and using active listening.. And she was hooked, started asking me questions and goes pretty elaborate on herself about things.
I continued to use eye flirting as I talked and so...

And then I asked to grab a bite as "friends" and I think she picked that up because she then said some guys who say friends but actually don't want to be friends and I'm like "I'm totally that guy" in a playful way
and she laughed! Which in essence, if I admit it, I'm negating that I'm "concealing banana" right? It's mind fuck.
And she looked confused as I blew her frame out of the water... but I kept going with the close saying we grab a bite if you're down I'm down...

I gave a few seconds and she just...did nothing.
Deep in thought...
So I thought, maybe she doesn't want to hurt me so I said, "If not, I'm fine, that's totally fine" with shrug and smile
but she had no reaction, deep in thought like completely stunned.

So then I didn't want to put her in that emotional distress, and i patted her hands and said it's fine, don't worry about it.

Incoming analysis:
If she was just not interested, it's easy. No feels for you,
"No I'm not interested"
"I'm too busy"
Or the obvious one "I have bf and he won't like that"

Simple.

You might think "Hey she might worry about hurting your feelings and the awkward pressure you know"
That's why I threw in "It's fine if you don't want to, that's fine with me" is suppose to release tension from overwhelming, yet it didn't act as a reliever. She didn't relax her body in relief, or sigh in relief, she remained tense.

I think she was actually considering..idk, not in her mind.

Even if she was, if she's that distraught upon deciding to meet or not, then she'll be even worse if we got intimate while having a bf. I could have gotten her number if I continued in her confused state, and she might have actually gotten out with me... But what's the point if I make her do something she regrets and have strong distraught emotions afterwards and I know, that really hurts... I wouldn't want to put that on any girl.

So, I let her go.
Am I'm getting too nice? Maybe, idk. Onto the next girl!

I'll save you from the burden of listening to my extensive analyses, Chase ;)

Best,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Indeed. Although the risk of false paternity is not *too* crazy high. Most guys have an inkling when it's the case. If you ever find yourself in that situation, just get a paternity test. I think it's something like if a guy thinks a child may not be his and goes for a paternity test, 28% of the time he's right - not his. But if he is confident a child is his and a paternity test is administered, only something like 1.5% of the time is it actually not his.

Where to draw the line with boyfriends can be kind of a weird call. But if she says it's not serious, and you don't have any reservations about taking girls with non-serious boyfriends, I would treat it like any other girl. And not go making "no" decisions for her. If she's deep in thought, I'd just continue to oversell: "We'll go get some food right now. It'll be quick and fun. There's a great place right over here, they have the most terrific waffles. Crazy cool décor in that joint, too. Let's go."

She's a big girl. She can say "no" if she doesn't want to.

Anyway, I wouldn't use the "friend" thing with a girl until you can pull it off in a totally obviously NOT a friend way. Imagine James Bond saying, "We'll go grab a bite... as friends." [smile and wink] Or if you're clearly so high value over her, you can do a straight friends thing and it'll just send her into a tizzy wondering if she's going to get you or not. But if you're not sky high value or implicitly sexual about it, I'd leave the "friends" bit aside for now.

Chase

Rakkum's picture

An anecdote to corroborate the loyalty difference between men and women.

I once went on a date with a girl I had met from social circle, at a friends birthday. The date went quite well according my standards back then (that was before coming across this site and having a lot of my beliefs about dating and women challenged). She seemed into me. However, trying to set up a second date I ran into against a wall and she eventually told me she wont be coming out with for personal reasons and hopes that I'm ok with her not having to explain herself any more.

Later I found out from my friend whose birthday it was that she had been super happy about the apparently cool date but was kind of shocked that I met another girl from their group for a coffee at about the same time. That girl I knew from before but hadn't really been in touch for a while so we met up for a coffee. Yes, we had a pretty deep and possibly and emotionally deep conversation but... really... meeting for a coffee...

I guess I know better now :)

JJ's picture

A CG facade won't equal or sum up to loyalty from a woman. On the contrary it might entice her to embark in adultery as CG felt very disingenuous. A woman can be inspired to go against the terms of a CG to cross out the thrill of infidelity from their bucketlist, the excitement of doing the taboo, to spite,rebel or be sexually punished which is pleasure. CG posers are lame & a pathetically poor representation of real Doms, BDSM has existed for ages before 50. Ppl are such pitiful easily manipulated followers for :3 acting like 50 is the best discovery ever when it falls short. As a person with expertise who has explored the BDSM culture widely, I can only describe 50 shades as a disparaging parody of the lifestyle. Ppl are brainwashed to be fed moose nuggets and tricked to believe it's chocolate truffles they eat, but that's weak mindedness, there's few of us who actually evade this mind fogging. It's really the gullible inexperineced Anastasia types that in real life are swept off their shackled feet for his kind. Think the likes of a naive country hick, ghetto gal or 3rd world country mail order bride those types would most likely fit the bill. Worldly sophisticated women familiar with the BDSM lifestyle are sticklers & some are dominant themselves. Basically, for those the Christian phonies would only make them rebel & act on cheating if they'd only considered before. In my case as a woman of strong character who doesn't submit or cater to any man & controls her own freedom, I'd never form an exclusive "monogamous" relationship with CG or his likes, he's the kind I'd only hook up with if I'm drunk. Even engaging in sex in a drunken state, men like him wouldn't perform anywhere nearly close to my standards. He's insecure & inadequate, could never overpower, order or please my type. Moral of the story is loyalty is not gained by pretending to be an unqualified overrated CG prick who uses money to buy his fractured authority & submission or loyalty in this case. Refined, subdued, confident self made men are the type, I'd chose a relationship with & consider investment, & exclusivity/loyalty in my books, but those men are so far fetched to find.(ツ)

JJ's picture

It's so ridiculous, absurd & unfitting to assume, I dislike the CG facade bc of a bad experience, have been burned, am believed to be bitter or a feminist, it has nothing to do with that. I'm not going to listen to some fashion or beauty magazines opinion about CG being a modern Roman god for women that's far from enough to validate him. What I'm saying comes from me a real woman expressing her feelings on the this overhyped character that without his billions wouldn't act so entitled or even be on the radar.I used to read lots of bdsm thrillers in my early teens, not so much anymore don't have time to read that much as i used to plus I can practice anything in person as an adult now. What I'm saying is there are way more appealing, sexier, confident & captivating men than CG out there. To me especially, since my type is the tattooed, rugged, outdoorsy, genuine, players that don't need billions to buy women, authority & arrogance. I actually like sex oozing players so long as it isn't game from spoiled rich guys that develop & showcase forced & phony alpha authority like CG. Actual players are an exciting challenge I love taking on readily. I'm in the stage of looking for hookups only so i dont want commitment. I don't care for exclusivity, just about protection from unwanted sti's & most definitely pregnancy. So no CG isn't my type bc I'm a bitter bitch it's bc he doesn't move me. His traits, attitude, & physical appearance would not earn loyalty, love or anything, but a bashing from a woman like me, but then again I'm not his type (complex tatted redheaded belarusian Jew that I am ) either he would never pay a penny for the likes of me so we're even hahahaha.

Joker's picture

Hey chase, you once wrote that relationships where the man is more attractive than the woman in terms of looks dont usually last. Could you explain why?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Joker-

Here's the science on it. There's a good write up on it from the Huffington Post here. More research links in that article, too. I'll quote:

What Meltzer and her team discovered was that spousal attractiveness does play a major role in marital satisfaction — but only for men. In other words, men care about looks more than women do.

...

Interestingly, the attractive wives also reported higher levels of satisfaction, all because having a happy hubby made them happier too.

A study conducted in 2008 at the Relationship Institute at UCLA reached a similar finding. Researchers theorized that men who felt they “lucked out” by marrying attractive wives were happier and more likely to care about their wives’ needs — and in turn, the good-looking wives were happier in the relationship as well.

“The husbands seemed to be basically more committed, more invested in pleasing their wives when they felt that they were getting a pretty good deal,” study author Benjamin Karney explained.

Karney said the opposite occurred when the husbands felt they were better looking than their wives, explaining, “They didn’t seem to be quite as motivated to help out their wives when they were more attractive than their wives.”

Overall, pretty interesting stuff. Moral of the story: date girls who are cuter than you are.

Chase

SZ's picture

My bad on the questions, but an article on notch count cheat codes sounds pretty good!

I do put in work Chase! I just get flakes like crazy!

I guess that's why I ask the same questions because I'm still stuck, dont mean to tho.

I'll just stick to relevant questions because all I can do now is put in more work.

I just got 2 questions, I'm 99% sure I never asked.

1. What do I do when I run out of things to say? When I talk to a girl, ask her how her night or day is, maybe a few sentences after that, then I don't know what else to say. I tried for a number/ date, ask for a dance, etc. You know that it gets kinda awkward. So after the pause what do I do? It's either I ask for a number or dance awkwardly or the convos over. I tried deep diving, but it feels forced and out of nowhere, like why am I asking her these serious questions after just meeting or I talk about mundane stuff, which doenst work.

It's literally:

Sz- How's your night going?

Good, yours?

Sz -You come here often?

Yeah/no

Sz- Ok cool.....

Or I can open with a compliment, then the same happens. It's like there needs to be something more to say, but what?

Then I'm like wtf! I ask for compliance, then shit goes left, or a get a flake!

2. From your article on older age; when you say get a business or be reasonably high up in whatever your field is. what kind of business do is good? Is freelance ok ? I plan to have a business soon, but want to know if freelance would count because it seems the easiest to start now.

And for reasonably high up, does the job itself matter? What would be reasonably high up to you?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

When you're past the initial how-do-you-do but it's too soon yet to deep dive, break out the banter. Mix in more getting-to-know-you questions about her and anecdotes about you as you do. Also, use cold reading.

Re: business, if it's one where you make above average income and get to be your own boss, it's good. If you manage other people, it's even better. For jobs, the job itself often won't matter. Although certain jobs have perks with certain kinds of girls (e.g., if you're high up in the fashion world, there are some obvious perks there). As for "how high" - depends on the girl. If it is an impressive station to the kind of girl you want to go for, it's good. If it's "meh" to that kind of girl, it isn't high enough.

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

Hello Chase,

I've been in a relationship for a few years and I have never slept with any other girl, but mines during those years. I missed out all of high school and college, and before her I never really slept around either, so my experience isn't the greatest when it comes to all of the aspects of dating; from picking up, to dates, to sleeping with many different girls, so I'm kinda green.

After realizing that I only had sex with the same girl for a few years is kind of maddening to be honest; I feel like i missed out on so much.
I've been reading here, so I have a good grasp on the material, but my problem is that I don't feel confident in myself to succeed with sleeping with many women.

All of my lays have been slow social lays, so the idea of sleeping with many different women within a short period of time baffles me. I don't like the slow dance of seduction, I don't even know if it's supposed to take long, but for me it has taken long to get my lays and I hate that, they weren't all relationships either.

I'm a little older, but not super old, so that's good, it's just my mental model that's really messed up, coming from these slow lays and relationships, i never even went on a date with a girl that i didnt know that well yet, all i had was social circle. I'm not confident at all that many girls would want to sleep with me, and my past experiences have made me felt that way about myself.

But after hearing many people that you know talk about lays counts over and over, and the amount of women they have slept with, while you slept with the same exact girl for years, makes you feel kind of bad; it's like what have I been doing with myself all of these years? Time in a relationship just flies by so fast, and the funny thing is now those people who were talking about many lays within a year are settling down now, while I'm not, so I have a disconnect with them, and figure that I'd be better doing this solo.

Seeing so many years fly by, and not living them like everyone else is sad. I'm not trying to be like everyone else, but I wouldn't mind sleeping with many women, and look back on it with a smile. I haven't been single for a while, and before this relationship i had a few other ones that lasted a long time as well, so I never got the chance to know what it feels like at all; from dating of many women, many different girlfriends, many different memories of girls, sleeping with many girls.

Anyway, this is what I want to do, but I don't believe many girls would want to sleep with me, and especially now since I have such limited experience for my age. It's extremely hard to feel I can bed these girls also because they have more experience than I do, and nothing feels worse than that. I feel like I'm a little boy compared to everyone else. I missed out on so much, from parties, clubs, bars, basically my youth.

I apologize for the long post, I really don't know how to feel like many girls would want to just sleep with me, and i never, ever want to go through slow seduction again, and i mean never. If there's an article I missed or a reply you can give me to get over these negative beliefs, I would appreciate it immensely, thank you.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Well, I'm not sure what you want, exactly. I think you're the guy who has asked over the years how to shag other girls behind the back of his long-time monogamous girl, which I won't answer. That's not an area I want to go into.

You could break up with the girl. But will you be ready to spend years developing yourself, trying to go faster with girls, and having a hard time of it? Considering where you're starting out at, my guess is you'll make slower progress than a lot of guys do. Which means you may be out for a slog, and a lot of frustration along the way. Will this cause you to second guess having broken up with your girl?

The alternative is you stay with the girl. And maybe marry her. And have a mid-life crisis later on when you can no longer abide by the fact you never slept with more girls and always felt like you settled.

My temptation is to tell you to break up with the girl, put your nose to the grindstone, and put the time and effort in to get good. So you can reach the point where you get swifter seductions, raise your notch count a bit, then can pick a new girl at some point and be confident you're not settling.

But you sound like you've got something nice and comfortable with the girl right now, and you'll have to give that up to do it. And there's no guarantee for how things will go for you after you do. If I knew you would throw yourself into it 100% and were excited and determined and a total go-getter I'd tell you to do it in a heartbeat. But if it's taken you as long as it sounds like it has, I don't have a lot of confidence you'll do that. I fear more you'd break up with the girl, then do... not a whole lot.

So I guess the question is: are you going to put in the time, energy, and motivation required to go from "slow guy not a lot of girls want" to "fast guy lots of girls want"? Or will you continue to be slow, and come to regret having let your girl go?

Chase

Shankar's picture

Bro, can a girl stay loyal to you in your old age if there are young guys who are hotter than you due to age factor?What if girl invested a lot while the environmental and personal conditions were favourable in the past and in future only the investment remains but environmental and personal conditions will change in due to age factor?In that case, would she still cheat despite travelling with that guy through good and bad memories and having children?Also keep in mind the girl is more or less the same age as guy? Have you ever though about this in your relationship with your girlfriend like if you are old, she would lose respect towards you and progressively attraction and hence cheat on you(no offense to you, it was a genuine doubt I wanted to clarify)?

Leave a Comment

One Date girl next to the number one

Get The Girl In Just One Date

It only takes one date to get the girl you want. Best of all, the date's easy to get… and girls love it.

Inside One Date, You'll Learn

  • How to build instant chemistry
  • Ways to easily create arousal
  • How to get girls to do what you want
  • The secret to a devoted girlfriend

…and more great Girls Chase Tech