Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to Her Text Screens | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to Her Text Screens

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

text message screening
Girls sometimes ask screening questions over text. How you handle these is the difference between vanish or date.

I recently read a private report from one of our senior discussion forum members. It was of a girl he’d met via street stop, took a phone number from, and later slept with a few dates in.

In the text conversation that followed his brief initial meet, she hit him with a few screening questions:

  • On his age
  • Whether he was a student or worked
  • Why he picked her to approach

In between these, she asked other questions. It was friendly enough. But these types of text message screens can be deceptively dangerous.

There’s no subcommunication you can use to make an answer playful over text. No body language, voice tone, or facial expressions to flesh out your response. Things you’d say in-person that would work great in that medium (“I’m a traveling vagabond”) may completely disqualify you over text. Yet just the same, if you are boring or flat, you may lose the girl too.

The way to deal with text screens is straightforward enough. Yet the challenge is, can you resist the urge to be too clever... without completely following her lead?

Comments

Slay's picture

Chase,

Just saw Rebel Without a Cause. I've always rolled my eyes at men who displayed emotions, but it's because they come across as whining.

The emotions that James Dean displays however, triggered my empathy. So raw and powerful, you've got a guy here being completely open and vurnerable, you can't help but join his side.

Would you be interested in writing an article about how to show rawness and masculinity across a wide range of emotions?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Slay-

Yes, I think this is a great topic!

I saw your comment when you first wrote it and started an article on the subject. Got pulled away so it's only about 1/3 or 1/2 done. Going to try to circle back to it in the next week or so, I hope, and finish the article off.

Definitely a great suggestion.

Chase

SZ's picture

I had a few questions Chase,

1. I was looking over the newbie assignment and I see one day says to say "hey, how is your day going?"

I remember a while back that you wrote something about guys I think African were saying that to this girl and that it annoyed her, and you said it would annoy you too if someone asked you that, you said many things would go through your head on why anyone would ask you that and you often ignore them as should women. You say that a compliment about her shoes would be better. ( I would like you to explain that as well because it still sounds like someone is trying to get something from you with a compliment.)

My point is, I know this is for beginners, but if a person feels that way if asked about their day? Isn't it just a waste of time to ask, and just give us negative feedback? Or have you changed your mind?

2. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, Im finding comments i wrote from years ago that fuckin feel like it was a few months or a year ago when I wrote it. I know we discussed this before, and I'm mad about it, vowing to never to let it happen again. I just can't stop feeling like shit about not doing it then. I want to get over it. I'm still in the same exact place that i was then, with everything in life not just women, the same exact situation, and I have had more than enough time to put in work. I just can't stop feeling like shit.

I also wanted to know if I should just go releletnlessly hard for all my goals with no rest.

I want to make up for lost time.

3. Not having the things I'm working on at the moment, I need to still be the man, I need to be the man before I get these things and not have them define me or else I'll be mesirble. What can I do to feel good about myself as a man, and not have lay count, cars, money, etc, make me feel less of a man if i don't have a lot it? I want to those things, but I don't want to depend on them for happiness. I feel like all these things define men and if you don't have you're less than one.

I want to be happy with and without them, I don't want them to make or break me or feel less of a man.

4. With your book, newbie assignment, and quiz. What do you recommend to follow? Is there an order, should I try to combine them?

JasonH's picture

Hi SZ,

Just read a few articles and noticed your posts. They are very hypothetical questions that are sometimes impossible to answer or questions to which only you know the answer and no one else can answer. Just before I continue I don't claim to be a Chase or have bedded 100's of women but I have done fairly well, so feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Just trying to help out that's all.

It seems you're not sure what you want to do, you know you want to be successful, you want to sleep with women, start a business, etc but don't have the reference points/experience to get started. So keep those long term plans there to motivate you as a goal of where you want to be but start small. I'd forget about the bar/clubs they can be highly competitive and if you don't have the reference points or resilience they won't help you get experience.

You're going to have to go through a period of learning/gaining experience and start with befriending women and men, keep it simple and just get to know people in a social environment. You'll learn so much here. Keep away from people you don't want to hang out with or who don't respect you but most people are friendly.
A great way to do this is to pick up something you enjoy doing sports, dance, music, martial arts, something social that allows you to meet new people and get you out there. Then slowly build friendships and meet more people through them. You can continue to cold approach if you want but the experience from social environments will help a lot.

In the meantime pick a few fundamentals you can work on and just work on that for 3 months and forget about the other fundamentals. It can be getting a more masculine body, working on your style and experimenting with your voice. All the articles are already here but it's pretty simple, go to the gym 3-4 x a week, adopt a healthy diet and checkout the voice and style guides here. Talk to a personal trainer, they're great to hold you accountable and motivate you.

Those things can be your main focus and until you do those and gain reference points you won't really know how to proceed because it seems like you haven't got the experience. There is no magic method/way of doing things it's all about just starting small doing one thing at a time and feeding of that momentum. You've got great desire and motivation, otherwise you wouldn't be asking so many questions so just need to take action, don't think about it too much but just do it. Procrastinating honestly isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to take action to figure out who you are.

You may end up being attracted to many of the girls you meet but try to keep the focus on friendship to gain social aptitude, experience & nuances.

I don't know if you're working/studying but if you're not pick up a part-time job or enrol in something you'd like to see yourself doing. Maybe a marketing/business course? You'll meet people in your course as well and can build more momentum there and just go from there. You may end up hating it but you won't know until you try.
It really is trial & error but all the experience is worth it, it's what everyone goes through and is what allows you to find what you really want to do.

What would also help is a mentor talk to Chase/Hector/someone you look up to who can mentor you and give you personal one-one advice on the phone/skype/ in person.

All the best,
JasonH

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Point of the "how's your day going?" is to let guys ease into natural conversation before they get to the scarier stuff. This is a pretty neutral question to ask women who are standing around, waiting, not doing anything, etc. It's usually not going to lead to much on its own. However, that's not the point of the exercise; the point is to get you used to starting a short "small talk" conversation with girls.

There isn't anything else I can say about getting into gear or taking action I haven't a hundred times already. With you, either you're going to hit a point where you say, "Fuck it, I'm done waiting to feel motivated. I'm just going to go hard and make it happen," or you'll continue to drift. You haven't hit "fuck it" yet, and no amount of motivational speaking is going to get you there if you haven't hit that point.

For masculine pride, find a cause or a mission and pursue it. You think Isaac Newton or Nikola Tesla felt bad about being virgins, or Samson felt bad about not being rich? Without a purpose of your own, though, you will always be left to chase after society's most accessible valuations (money, status, etc.), and be left to feel bad if you don't have much of them.

You're not going to retire in your 30s if you spend much of your 20s backpacking. Unless by "retire" you mean you'll save up enough for a small plot of land in the middle of nowhere, grab a chick, and move her out there with you. In that case you could probably do it.

Freelancing is the easiest way to start making money fast. I'd start with a profile on UpWork and go from there.

Book, newbie assignment, quiz - pick whichever one appeals most and do that first. If you cannot choose on your own, pick the newbie assignment.

Chase

SZ's picture

I just read your reply to me from the last article and I realize that I asked my question wrong.

I meant if a guy was to retire or be midly successful with his career by his mid 30s. How could he do that if he is in his 20s traveling and such? Unless you mean vacation traveling? I was thinking traveling a lot more than vacations where you wouldn't be able to, but idk.

How does one retire by then anyway unless they get rich?

2. I also noticed you said freelance, start a business,and to do affiliate marketing.

The way I took it was that some forms of them could be easy to start with and make some pretty decent money now, then i can later make big money with it.

Anyway, what would you say that are easy fast ways to get started to make some kind of livable income with the three?

I looked all over for freelance work, but all I see are jobs that want a huge portfolio, or they want to pay you 400 a month working 40 hours a week? No thanks.

Business? I'll assume online because I'll be traveling. I really don't know what to start with, a blog perhaps? But I have no idea on what to blog, I don't have a niche at all.

Affiliate marketing, I don't know too much either to start with.

If you have any ideas on how to get started with these id appreciate it.

I just want to get my feet wet, then I'll get better and start making big bank.

Robinhood's picture

Hello Chase! Thank you for this useful article. I have been messing this one up way too much. Amazing how there are new revelations on one's journey and it keeps going.

Related to your recent post.. how there are defender points for protecting girls. I used to be a bit of white knight and on my quest to get rid of that, i think i went too far on the other end at one point and rarely helped girls even if someone was mean to them which made me look weak. Can u please elaborate on how one can distinguish between defending ur girls and white knighting? Then there is another layer .. how to respond when girls play lets you and him fight? It can be difficult to distinguish when someone is really bugging them, the girl wants to see your your strength and if u can protect her or she is just trying to create some drama and getting you to white knight for her? I think its the former if one comes as a strong man and leader generally. Your thoughts?

And how to respond when you call out your girl on something (usually a lie) and they start defending themselves and go all pouty (dont u trust me?) trying to beta bait you in to submission? Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Robinhood-

Good questions! Yes, easy to swing too far to the other side when you're trying to get away from where you were before.

Difference between a white knight (who does not get points for defending women) and a masculine asshole-tier guy who does get points when he defends women comes from:

  1. What they try to save them from
  2. How they act/behave after

The white knight guy races in to save women from all sorts of non-threats. People who say mean things to girls, guys who aren't actually a threat, men expressing politically incorrect opinions, etc. The white knight rushes in saying, "I'll save you, milady!" in all these non-threatening scenarios. Sometimes the girl acts faux-threatened (which is like blowing on the white knight conch shell... all the white knights come rushing in at that point, summoned to defend their damsel), or sometimes the guy just decides that whatever thing was out of line all on his own. Then after his defense, he expects praise and reward, of the "good doggy" variety. A pat on the head and a nice treat would be nice.

The asshole-tier guy laughs when he sees girls getting their feathers ruffled over most normal situations. He understands social dynamics and knows when there's no real threat. However, in the rare instance when a woman is under actual, real threat, this guy sees that too, and he jumps in to defuse things in a masculine way. e.g., getting a drunk, aggressive guy who has a couple of girls cornered to back off, or telling off some guy who is insulting a pair of girls loudly and angrily, unprovoked. After the situation is deescalated, he might make a joke or two but otherwise not even mention the situation after that because it isn't exceptional to him (or at least, he wants to act like it wasn't). If he didn't know the girls beforehand, he'll likely ping them to see if they're interested ("Guess that guy is what happens when you start hitting the bottle hard at 4 PM, huh?"), and hang around if they are, and mosey off if they aren't. No biggie.

If you call a girl out on a lie, and she gets pouty and says, "Don't you trust me?" just tell her, "Not if you're going to lie to me!" in a kind of incredulous way. Just highlight what she's doing and make clear your expectations. Tell the truth = trust. Lie = not trust. Pretty straightforward, eh?

Chase

Robinhood's picture

Come on Chase. We both know its not that straightforward when it comes to women :p Ur method will apply when she accepts lying in the first place which they never do and especially in vague cases where u know shes lying but she just wont accept it or pinned on it and get away with sneaky tactics.
In this particular instace she said she had no credit in her phone and wanted to use mine to call (just to check my phone i guess lol). I denied her. Later she said she called her friend and i said i thought u had no credit. And she said she called from her other phone which was away (true that her other phone was away at the point she asked me) and i dont trust her *poutpout* lol.

On a related tangent, what do u think about girls with two phones or numbers? Always found it a bit fishy and sneaky behavior. Mostly hiding it from bf and showing him one phone and keeping the other secret and using that to go around.

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