When Your Girl Kisses Another Guy (and Other Messy Situations) | Girls Chase

When Your Girl Kisses Another Guy (and Other Messy Situations)

Chase Amante

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Alek Rolstad's picture

makes out with another guy
What do you do when your girl makes out with another man? You could challenge him, pull her away, jet yourself… but what’s best?

It is an unfortunate scenario when your girl flirts with another guy in front of you. This post will have a very report-like tone, as I will use a case study to discuss this issue and present solutions. I will also discuss the implications of the choices I make in the narrative so you’ll get to see how the concepts are applied in real life.

No matter how experienced you are, you will face situations like these, and knowing how to deal with them is key. Therefore, I hope this post will be useful to any of you who have had, or may experience, times when your date, girlfriend, or booty call ends up flirting explicitly with a guy right in front of you.

Note that in this article, I am not talking about random girls you just met in a club. These require different strategies, although some of the concepts here may apply.

Comments

Zac's picture

Hi Alex,

It's nothing personal, eh?

We society are like that and then we pretend that we don't know shit. Guess we all don't like being one down. I don't need you to respond to this post because it's by itself intimidating, provoking aggression and not friendly.

but yea, life is what it is. (No man can bullshit me, ever, most of the time, and this article reaffirms that my conscience and what i have seen)

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Zac,

I must apology, I did not understand your comment, could you please elaborate? are you talking about me, the girl or the situation?

I don't usually takes things personally so feel free speak your heart :)

-Alek

AlluringSpy's picture

You totally made the right call there, what's the point of going trough all that trouble for a single girl, there's millions of interesting cuties out there in the world, unless you wanted to challenge yourself of course...
About Linda, so long as you make clear you want nothing long term with her, why not hook up with her on days you don't really feel like going out?

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Hey man and thank you for the kudos.

I also think I made the right call here. At the end of the day I:
-Saved my integrity
- Put myself in a position of power regarding the girl - I can chose to get her back or not (and not the other way around)
- I got new pussy

Doesn't sound like an overall bad situation if you ask me.

Now however I wouldn't agree with your interpretation of me putting a lot of work into one single girl. Fact is, regarding Linda, the girl making out with the dude, I simply walked away. I wouldn't consider this "going trough all the trouble". I met another girl but that was not because I wanted to "win" Linda back but because i simply prefer new and fresh pussy.

And yeah, you are right, meeting up with her and bang her that night was more or less what I had in mind, as this was a night where I did not really feel like it (as I got laid the night before, as mentioned earlier in the post).That said I wasn't expecting her to behave as badly, but hey shit happens and moving on was def a right call.

I think she knows she fucked up the whole long term prospect. I think she will be happy if she just gets some dick. If you read chases comment below, I think he is spot on with his short analysis.

Thank you for your comment,

-Alek

Chase Amante's picture

I'd say this is a prime example for a "I'll let you come over, but you're going to have some making up to do" text :)

You shouldn't have any problems, since she's already chasing. And if she's the type who lashes out at intimidation by behaving badly, she's the type who responds to punishment for that bad behavior, too :D

(then of course when she comes over, just have her do whatever depraved sexual things you feel like. Doesn't even have to be pleasurable for her - but it will, of course, because she'll be so turned on)

Chase

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Hey Chase. This is a spot on Analysis of what type of girl she is. I did invite her over for a bang and she would suddently allow me to become a very kinky boy. She was very willing to try out stuff in order to win back my compliance. Without adding too many explicit details, i can tell that the sex had an overall punishing frame.

I know you know the theory behind it, but i will allow myself to elaborate it for the readers.

It is not that she likes to experience unpleasurable feelings per se, or enjoy being punished. No, truth is on one level the whole thing is not pleasurable for her, but on a deeper level it is, due to the element of strong sexual dominance, which can be a crazy turn on for many women - and the more misbehaved she is, the better it works. It is a bit pradoxal, but it is the truth. That said many girls actually enjoy "sexual punishment". There is something BDSMish with it that they find hot, but they only like it if they see you as:
- an attractive guy
- a sexual guy
- a dominant guy

-Alek

John Greco's picture

Alek : So, look Linda...yeah I understand you being intimidated by me..I'm a little too far to the extreme sexually, I know that..but that didn't affect my attraction for you at all. In fact, I felt the opposite, I felt that if we could have so much good sex the first time, imagine what we could do together if we continue...I saw potential in us, and the fact that we ran on each other the other night felt like destiny to me, I don't know...

Linda: So what..you think we've lost that thing we had..?

Alek:Well, I don't know...maybe if we've worked somehow that intimidation..

Linda: How would you suggest doing that..?

Alek: Hmm...you're a persistent little sexy fox..;)...Let's start easy...have you ever fooled (or thought about it) with a girl before?

Linda:So THAT'S the easy ones huh?haha

Alek: Don't worry about that...the only thing that matters is to be willing to have fun and learn ;) So, take a friend of yours you'd like to secretly to have fun with and come to my place tomorrow

Wouldn't that BE fun??

Cheers
John

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Dude you are a mind reader... (or just good with dealing with similare situations, or perhaps good with women in general - you tell me) but what you covered is exactly (more or less) what I said to Linda a few days later. I told her that she did not have to play these silly games, and that I found her attractive (I said this AFTER she apologized and told me the truth - gotta reward good behaviour).

I did not cover that "working on the intimiation thing" though. Instead I told her that it did not matter whether or not she was experienced or into super freaky shit, as long as she can be sexy (which she is) everything would be fine in this regard.

I like the idea of two girls, I tried to push it through, she seemed negative over it, but hey who said the second attempt wouldn't work ;)

-Alek

John Greco's picture

Dude, thanks I really appreciate the compliment. From your response to Chase I'm confident you had a pretty good time either way ;)

Also, it got me thinking..do you think there is chance she didn't kissed the other guy for one of the three reasons you said (well probably she was kinda drunk) but she kissed him trying (in a really odd way) to make you....like her more? To sort of show you how "sexually wild" she is. I know it sounds silly, but women and logic sometimes don't pair so good together. If that's the case, she really shows potential to submit to you in a lot of ways.

John

Davi Diluna's picture

Honestly when I read the title my first thought was "well, just walk away, what is there more to say?", but the development of the article was really rich and full of lessons we can walk away with.

I'd add maybe a SECOND type of reaction, that you can have if you're really open and really want to bang her that night on, get ready it's a bit extreme: you walk to them, take the neck of your girl, and in a calm sexy voice tone tell her 'so do we have a second night of mindblowing sex together or you picked up another dude to join us?" variation "another dude to come carry the candle during the nigh".

You position yourself as a dominant open minded guy who understands her desire to get with other guys too, by still implying that you're above her and that dude, and how cute and silly is she trying to "pick up" another "toy" for you and her. It's sort of playing the 'swingers' couple game where the third guy is not a threat but a toy for both of you.
Usually she'll just acknowledge your superiority through your answer, and if you manage to remind her how good sex was last night she'll have the choice between: going home with an awesome sexual guy who just can't get played around by her game, cause she took it to the extreme and you still remain calm sexy and see her as a cutie doing her lil thing, EITHER she goes with that guy she just used to have your attention or accept your not-so-serious proposition of threesome.

I know it's quite extreme, you can only do that if you have steel ego and see her as entertainment and only that. Also works only if the girl is super open: if you used to talk with her about the guys she fucks and stuff, it's not usually recommended but if you're good at reframing and redirecting emotions toward you, this is way to get her talk about what she likes and get horny.

Now that said, I would not personally react like that if she kisses another guy in front of me, but I know it's a tool that works 'cause I use it in situations where she's just flirty with other men or talks about other men to get me jealous. You come as her dominant male and assess her lil hunt, all in a playful light way where she doesn't even really know wether you're serious or not. But it shows dominance and sexuality.

About Linda, get wild ;)

Davi

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Man, that is quite a suggestion! You've got to have just the right frame down to pull that off with a new girl you've just banged though. That is slightly different from the frame I set with girls. Anyway, it is an interesting suggestion, and I will file it away if I find myself in an appropriate situation.

-Alek

Eug's picture

Insightful post, but I think you got the title wrong. This post is not a "what you should do if your girl kisses another guy" post.

This is a "what you should do if your club/party girl that you met in a club and had sex with the first night, and then met in the same club a second time and made out with, starts making out with a guy...at the same club, while drunk."

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Hahah thank you for the kudos.

I don't disagree with your suggestion. However I am not the one picking titles for my posts. I am affraid your title is a bit too long - but you are very right.

Look, club girls can be a lot of fun, even the club freaks (which are like the worst one in terms of shady morality and behaviour) can be a lot of fun in terms of casual sex :)

-Alek

Argi's picture

Luckily, it has not happened to me like that. Girls have flirted and even threatened to flirt with other guys. I just kept my cool and let them know that if that happens, I will leave and it won't be because I am angry, it is because I have better things to do.

I vote you keep her around. You know she isn't good for you so she is purely a hookup.

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Lucky you man :) I hope you never have to deal with such situation, but I am affraid we all sooner or later end up in shit like this - whether we practice pick up and seduction or not. As long as we deal with women, this can happen, so better practice pick up and seduction to know how to deal with it :)

I think your frame is spot on. I did the same thing - although I dumped her not because I have better thing to do but because I found her behaviour unsexy.

I did fuck her again - and she was very nice and compliant. Before coming over, she asked me if i was hungry and bought some food. Then she was being very "pleasing". All good :)

Thank you for you comment.

-Alek

Vermin's picture

This was really fun to read. And Alek... of course you should write up that other report that you mentioned, they're your best type of articles because of the real life examples.

With Linda, I mean why not? You're only going to be booty calling her, so why not?

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Thank you sir! I will write up that report the upcoming days. I am very happy to hear you find those reports useful!

It should be up, not this week end but probably the next! so stay tuned!

About Linda: why not! Yes I went for it!

-Alek

Bw's picture

Hey,

I've read about this non-neediness,, and tendency to 'walk away if the girl isn't complying with you' from your site, and it's made me really attractive with girls. But one issue I've had with this is, when I do walk away sometimes the girl sees this as a loss of attraction from me in her (which is what we want to convey). This lowers my attainability and she goes into auto-rejection and loses interest in me. I have had multiple instances where I employ this 'if you don't like me I have other girls' attitude and she stopped showing interest in me. Note that this was in my school, so it's social circle game rather than cold approach, and the 'walk away-loss of attraction' happened over a few days/weeks rather than just hours.

Now I'm going to start college, and start anew. How do I prevent this scenario from happening? When do I know a girl is just a waste of time vs. I need to show interest to validate her? Any help on this matter would be greatly appreciated. You guys have changed my social life immensely and I could never thank you all enough.

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Hey man. You are absolutly right that the perfect seductions are those that calibrates non-needines with attainability and that too little attainability leads to auto-rejections.

I usually believe that walking away from a girl is generally a BAD idea - especially when it comes down to "generating attraction". There are cases where walking away (this is also known in the pick up world as "breaking rapport) can create mad attraction in some girls - usually damaged goods or girls you have strong rapport with or girls who has strong attraction for you (note that it can also lead to auto-rejection even if she is into you so no strong rule). The only take-away here is that walking away and breaking rapport is a hit-or-miss game. I would therefore not recommend it if you seek consistency - which you should seek!

If you have a good vibe going with a girl and things are going, stick with her! escalate the vibe and make it happen!

However there are cases where walking away (breaking rapport) should be considered:
- If you open a set - a girl or a group of girls and you cannot hook for some reason or you seem to really get nowhere. Now you may persist but sometimes walking away and trying again later may be much better! Not only will you communicate that you are a non-needy guy who is willing to walk away (women put their shield up to defend against such guys - so walking away can be good early game, but counter-productive later on)
- If you are dealing with a girl and you face too much bullshit. Now you may persist to challenge yourself and sometimes it will work out, but usually not. Oftentimes moving on is better (she may even re-engage you!)
- If she keeps giving you shit and desperatly putting up hoops to try to win the frame back, you can consider walking away to really destroy her framegrabs - but again you risk auto-rejections.

And there are situation where you must walk away:
- A girl is not attractive to you... AND giving you BS.
- The girl is behaving very badly like in this situation.

Hope this clarifies a few things. But keep in mind that the balance between showing non-neediness and attainability is key to seduction and good seducers are those who calibrates well - this is one of the many aspect of calibration. The sad part is that every girl and every situations are different and the balance will change accordingly. This means that the only way to become calibrated in this regard is to go out and get experience, be willing to fail and analyze both your successes and mistakes and learn from there.

hope this helps,
-Alek

Dale's picture

I've run into while in relationships, often with them telling (or pretending) that a lot more was going on than there really was. [I realize now that the women were on the verge of auto-rejection because I didn't advance the relationship fast enough.] However, at the time I knew very little about women, and the books in the 70's were mostly nonsense.

lux7's picture

Alek,

What an amazing, amazing article man (and well, story too!).

You're one of the top writers and seducers here, but what I like most about you, is that you're real and down to earth. No bombastic stuff, no pretending you're not hurt or immune, just plainly real and honest.
Love that.

After having long been a bit skeptical about the open sex talk, ruminating if it wasn't for me, if I was too cutsy for it or bla bla, I gotta say it's not only growing on me, but today I see your game as simply an extension of a vibe you should have ANYWAY.

I'd love reading more from you about dominant sex and BDSM.

So long!

M. Jackson's picture

Hi,

I know this is a bit tangential to the article but if you actually wanted/needed to "destroy the other guy verbally" what are the tools?

I've read the article about "dealing with disruptive men" but, if I recall correctly, it's mostly about replying (or not) to a guy breaking circle and addressing you. Then some other content is about acting bored if she's entertaining him.

For reasons, I spend time in networking events and whatnot. . . and these "minimum effort" tactics have worked several times and I have gotten girlfriends and dates.

. . .but sometimes I feel it's too passive. These events seem to have a high percentage of desperate guys with terrible fundamentals; usually regulars. They might not specifically take a girl *from me* but their interruptions kill the vibe - not to mention attempts to monopolize the conversation (guy droning on and on, girl glancing around). In general, even average looking girls get annoyed at these types not leaving them the hell alone and never show up ever again - if I didn't build rapport, if didn't get her contact info before that, then that's it. It has happened enough times for me to think maybe there's something more I could be doing.

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