When a guy doesn’t do well with girls, usually he finds something
to blame. But most of the time, what he blames is not the true culprit.
Everyone is an expert, as the saying goes. The less you know, the more you are convinced there’s nothing you don’t know. People will repeat non-stop how your success with the opposite sex is predetermined. I have too many friends who have been approaching women for years, still whining about things they cannot control instead of focusing on improving what they’ve got. It is ridiculous.
But it makes you wonder: how much is there for the average person to improve, given proper practice and incremental development?
Comments
About negative beliefs and mindset.
I think that in general, there is more out there to re-enforce negative beliefs and mindsets. Take race for instance.
I am ethnically Indian and used to have hang ups about this sort of thing. There are a ton of Indian guys out there playing the race card when it comes to women, countless dating studies saying being Indian isn't exactly a benefit, and not that many Indian guys out there killing it. It is EASY to have negative beliefs about things because there is just so much out there happy to confirm your negative thoughts.
This is why very few guys with what might be considered less than desirable traits manage to do well as a whole and why it is so tough to break out of this negative feedback loop. You almost have to have this sort of winner's mentality and irrational confidence.
I have started to see my race as a positive and think it gives me a leg up on guys. I tend to dislike and hate women from demographics I feel like might not like men of my background, they are the losers and not me. In many ways I see that I am special and have value to offer this world specifically because I am an Indian guy who has showcased potential to do well and has done well with women in the past.
It makes me loathe Indian guys crying about race and see them as the wimps that they are but my mentality is rare. Most will fold.
I can say most will fold when they are given a bad hand but I don't see my race as being dealt a bad hand at all. If anything, if I make it I have that much better of a chance of standing out to the world.
Poor Feedback
My problem was a lack of closing; and having women flirt with other men to try to get me to close. Instead, they convinced me that I needed to go after less attractive women, who went into auto-rejection since they saw me as too attractive to be interested in them.
An article on women's flirting would be helpful.
Beliefs
My problem is that I just don't believe in myself. I feel poor (in spirit) and it's difficult for me to not wake depressed when older I get. I do some activities to try to crib this but video games and food are the only the only thing that give me comfort...I've started making music...but I dunno I just
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