How does Buddhism relate to dating? While you refine your
persona, you must put on a “false face”… Yet as you do you deceive
yourself, as much as others.
I was talking to a coaching client of mine the other day. He expressed to me how badly he wanted to be a “seduction machine” and that he was willing to do anything to reach that level.
I smiled. His enthusiasm and drive was uplifting. Also, he was willing to pay good money for probably one of the most important skills a man can have in his life: the ability to connect with women emotionally, romantically, and sexually; that is a sign of drive if anything is.
However, progress is not so simple. Or, to put it another way, it is far simpler than you can imagine.
In his imagination, he had this grand idea of “the master seducer” – a version of himself that is everything he’s ever wanted it to be: to have a voice that sizzles women’s ears and makes their pussies tremble, to walk and move with the grace and power of a seasoned warrior, to have eyes that undress women literally and emotionally, and to have a voice that commands them as though Zeus himself demanded their obedience.
Unfortunately, this self is a mirage. Fortunately, it is also closer to you than your skin and your bones.
This is not a contradiction. Contradictions are when one thing needs to be right, and you say both are. This, instead, is a paradox: both statements are correct yet seem contradictory.
And it’s been my experience that if you are following a path of inquiry and have not yet reached a paradox, you haven’t gone far enough.
Comments
This Is Great
Hector,
Good post man! It looks like you're really toning down the polarizing.
I often wondered why I contradict my actions and beliefs so much and I said, maybe it means I'm improving? Constantly looking for the right way to do something.
So, think you're the shit in action, then after rationally figure out how you can be improving. Don't stop. Got it.
It seems similar to when I told Chase I'm super narcissistic, but I'm able to look at myself honestly and see what needs to be better.
But I can also admit that often I think I am better than I am, and shut my brain in light of new information.
Keep this great articles up!
Slay
Beauty needs a witness?
Hey Hector!
Am reading the book you recommended, The Alabaster Girl. Can you or anyone help me understand what does the quote Beauty needs a witness means? I interpreted it as :something is truly beautiful until you yourself see its beauty. I am not sure i got it right though.
The book is so poetic that sometimes I have great trouble in understanding the true meanings.
Oh, and I am so glad you are staring as the interviewer in One Date and The Dating Artisan! Seeing you guys in live, flirting, etc, is something I have always rooted for.
Thanks!
WOW
This is one of the better articles I've read on this website. Great job, Hector! Thank you for writing it. It was fascinating to read and really hit home with me.
Keep up the good work
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