Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game | Girls Chase

Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

urbanization and game
Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

Comments

Ruckus's picture

Women do not have to work nearly as hard as men in urbanized societies. Even ugly land whales are getting insane amounts of attention from men nowadays without having to do anything in terms of looks. Men are thirstier than ever and are the ones who have it harder. Theres no point in saying that women have it hard because its not even close to equal. There are legions of men who will be left out and sexequa, and theyre pretty much screwed.

CM's picture

I might be wrong, but I don't think he said that women in cities have it hard. He said they often feel the need to up their game (most likely because there are so many OTHER WOMEN in the cities who are very attractive, that means they need to up their appearance. Let's face it, they don't HAVE TO, it's because women are competitive amongst each other (and attractiveness is the only attribute women seem to value when competing amongst one another).

You are correct though, men these days are thirsty mother fvckers. And they go after land whales too. It's a sad state of affairs which degrades the value of all men, because women KNOW that even if they're average at best, in the eyes of men, they are hot as fvck and will get approached and complimented non stop.

Ruckus's picture

I know they have to work harder but not its not even equal. Women dont have to go through the same things men do. Their datings lives are like socialism, yeah they have to work somewhat but at the end of the day all women still have men for themselves. Mens dating lives are like capitalism, they have to work for everything. If they dont work smart and hard theyre screwed.

T's picture

May be you are right.... And???
Do you want an "ugly land whale"? I dont' think so.....
And are these men who are "thirsty" the men women want?
I think you know the answer...... at least if you are familiar with this site.
So go for what you want and leave aside what could be or what you suppose
is fact. Start the game and try out......

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ruckus (and others)-

Addressed in detail here:

Who Has It Harder in 21st Century Romance: Men or Women?

Chase

buttonmash's picture

Hey Chase, as usual stellar stuff. I have been trying to register for the forum but I can never seem to get the activation email so I had to ask here.

If you can take the time to reply, you might forever make me fill in my potential as a person and it could meant that I go on to live an amazing life. Yes you have been that good and I owe you so much.

Quick recap, I have always been very good-looking all my life and intelligent too and only very recently have I started to make any use of it.I am now in my mid 20s and last year I stumbled upon a guy called Leo on YouTube who has a channel called Actualized. His advice was similar to yours but for all aspects of life. Then I came across you and now I have gone from strength to strength and exponentially so.

So quick question, your advice on dating and women has been incredible but you have helped me to learn so much about myself and my means in society, especially when it comes to communcation. You occasionally talk about other topics but I want to know, are there any other websites or sources out there that give advice in a similar manner to yours? These are the topics that I am interested in

- Studying
- Time management
- Self-esteem

An amazing thing about you is that you seem to plant the seeds of self-improvement which I then go implement IRL. When I come back to the article I read by you or another article on a similar topic, the message sinks in more and I go away with more insight. As you say yourself, most advice is usually too general or safe and isn't all that helpful passed the short-term.

I can't stress this enough, you have done so much for me but I have so much more yet to learn but for once in my life, I am excited to do so.

Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Buttonmash-

Very pleased to hear of your progress! Sorry about the forum registration thing... sometimes a problem with Hotmail/Live email addresses receiving our registration emails for some reason. I've just manually activated your forum account (buttonmash).

I don't read other self-improvement sites a whole lot, to be honest, though I'm sure there are others out there like this in these fields. Two I can suggest off the top of my head, however:

http://lesswrong.com/

http://www.ribbonfarm.com/

I'd think you'd find both of these of interest. 98% certain they should cover all three of your desired topics at some point or other in their articles.

Cheers,
Chase

SZ's picture

I think my post got deleted.

I've been I'm thoughts lately and want to know how can I be where I want to be at my current age. Im working on myself, but I have doubts from stuff I read from you and people in general.

I know you say I can do it, but when i read some things from you, it's seems like your 30s are too late. I want to clarify is it? Because I know I have to be exceptional at 33-34, but I'm close to there now, should I just give up?

I'm working on myself a lot, but don't want to waste time.

I battle myself everyday to do even the easy things, but my mind wants me to relax. It's hard for me to do anything.

I want to know how I can finally change how I think?

I feel I'm too old to do anything fun, to make good friends, fuck many attractive, girls, make a business, because I'm old. I stop myself from everything because my mind tells me it's a waste of time, I I'm too old and should settle down. Day game won't work for you because club game doesn't work for you.

Could you clarify if I'm too old to do the things I want? That's where I'm confused because when we talk you make me feel I can do it, but when I read things from this site, it's like once your over 30 it's over. Like an example when you said college kids make the most business because of their age, your 20s depend on everything. It makes me feel like it's too late now. Time really flew by on me, but I wwant to still so these things.

Time went to fast, I feel depressed. I don't want to feel like that anymore.

I want to work and achieve my goals, but my mind keeps telling me I'm wasting my time.

How can I take more action, fight my mind from wanting to relax all the time and give up, and believe in myself and fight my doubtful mind?

Thanks

jmaximus's picture

That's ridiculous pal. Since when is being in your 30s too old? It's never too late to do whatever you want to.

Most people in the 20s don't really know what they want, so as a result, they end up getting trapped into some mundane 9 to 5 regime, they end up getting saddled with a mortgage they may default on, they may have exorbitant student loans to pay off, etc. I'm not sure as to why you're getting the impression that you're doomed.

I live in Mexico and I see lots of men in their 30s getting laid with women that are at least ten years younger or more, so if you're thinking that your sex life is doomed, that's totally ludicrous.

Have more faith in yourself.

JMAXIMUS

Anonymous 's picture

So you're saying that having game is more important than the other things? Well I mean as for a guy to stand out game is better to have?

I'm a quiet dude, so do I just have to talk to girls to get game? Or is there something else? I'll be doing a big 180 because I'll go from quiet, to talkative.

I don't plan on moving to a big city until my 30s or 40s, think that'll be a problem for my game?

I want to talk about education and money, is there a way that i can still get city chicks with a not so high intelligence? And is there a way a not so intelligent dude can make a lot of the money you say would be impressive to these city chicks while not being the smartest?

I'm tryna be prepared for this.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Game is a part of what you need to get women. Whether is the MOST important part depends on you, the girl, the situation, the competition, etc. If every guy has excellent game but you are the only one with excellent game + a Ferrari, you win. If every guy has a Ferrari but crappy game, and you swoop in with top notch game, you win.

In general, most men have mediocre or worse game. Which makes good game a fairly reliable path to top tier results, provided you combine it with excellent fundamentals, too.

Your game will adapt to your environment. If you live in a small town, and you hustle hard, you can get decent small town game. When you move to the city you'll go through an adjustment period where you figure out what works there.

Yes, there are plenty of men who are dumb as rocks but still dating inside cities. If you're able to read my articles and write comments on them in coherent English, you are smarter than some of the guys I have seen getting laid aplenty in big cities. You will typically need subject matter smarts to excel with women (or career), however - which means practice and exposure.

All my thoughts on career selection, regardless of intellect level, are here:

What Career, Trade, or Skill Should I Pursue?

Chase

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Great articles! Talking about game..

It reminds me of the dates I've been on.
The romantic and sexual fun that happens really make it enjoyable.
Not only that, but seeing a girl squirm as you put her arm around yours or something else that's romantic/sexual, it really pays off. Not saying, "She's my mission", my mission still remains the same as "Working to be a high status man who's good with women", my skill...

But even as a byproduct, even though she is not my mission, seeing that warm look in her eyes as her lips gradually mold into a squeamish smile of content and happiness, it's great. Even though it might not be everlasting, but to see how a woman feels when she's found a man who can give her the right emotions is rewarding itself to see her having an enjoyable experience (although I've just started... long way to go to be like you Chase).

There's my spiel haha.

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nice to see your progress, Lawliet!

Chase

jmaximus's picture

Interesting article, but I feel that some of what you're saying doesn't apply to what I've noticed while living south of the border down in Mexico City.

Yes, I do agree that competition is fierce and definitely more competitive in big cities as opposed to small towns, but what you said about how social circles tend to be more fragmented in larger cities doesn't seem to be the case down here.

For instance, if you frequent a nightclub down here (especially a high end establishment), the girls tend to roll in cliques and if you lack societal pull pertaining to that particular niche of "high" society, you will pretty much be rejected and overlooked for guys that are for example the sons of local wealthy and predominant families with influences or the sons of local politicians or even guys that have drug trafficking connections. So in other words, social proof is VERY important down here; you can have what you call your fundamentals down pat and be oozing with sprezzatura, but if you lack an "in" with that realm of society, you'll pretty much be pegged as either a "low value" guy or an outcast, regardless of how handsome or how good your job is or how dynamic or witty you are, etc.

Another thing I've noticed and I guess this kinda goes with what I said in the previous paragraph is that the whole mysterious and "Byronic" vibe doesn't seem to work well either, as the women would much rather go with the "social butterfly" type with all of the connections etc, as opposed to a more autonomous lone wolf type. I'm more of the lone wolf type, and I find that in the high-end venues down here, you'll be either cockblocked or threatened by the local men who can get quite aggressive and pugilistic up the wazoo if like I said, you don't have "friends" in the right places.

In the lower end places, social proof/circle isn't quite as important, but in these venues you run the risk of meeting trashy women that'll practically throw themselves at you just for being white and foreign, which I find to be extremely distasteful.

So, that's my two cents regarding what I've noticed about the urban environments down here in Mexico. I guess it's perhaps a cultural thing, as the social circles do tend to be much tighter down here as opposed to the US, even in the largest of cities here, as the girls are constantly worried about what they're friends are thinking or how they'll react if they happen to hang with a random guys who's not "connected". Being a more autonomous kind of guy, I find this mentality to be quite unnerving and counterproductive, but then again it might be a Mexican cultural thing.

Given that I left the states to travel abroad before I turned 21, I don't have much experience gamming in the US, so I'm kind of curious as to whether or not such social circle restrictions are also rife in US urban areas as well. I guess that's my ultimate question to you Chase, as I'm getting the impression that most of what you've written in your posts only applies to the US and no so much abroad.

Again, a good and interesting post.

Thank you,
JMAXIMUS

Jmaximus's picture

One reason why Mexico City is like this might have to do with how the city is economically stratified. If you consider the entire Federal District (or Distrito Federal or D.F.) as a whole, there are several wealthy areas, but then the vast majority of the other neighborhoods are sketchy and potentially unsafe at night. Based on this, it could be that the residents of the wealthy areas (where the nice establishments are located) form social circle barriers due to their fear of "outsiders", given the city's overall "dangerous" reputation. So as a result, the city seems very social circle tight, especially for a large metropolis where you might think that people would me more socially defragmented and less worried about what others think regarding their reputation, etc.

Curious to see what you think Chase.

Thank you,
JMAXIMUS

Jimbo's picture

Some would say putting game on par with making money or building muscle is ridiculous. But if you take a look at some rich and popular guys, even those have some kind of game of theirs to make their moves and bed women, Trump's saying how he "moved on her like a bitch", grabbing by the pussy, taking her furniture shopping, well that's his game! Even though he's Trump. Even Bush Sr. had his "cop-a-feel" line to make his move on women. You'd think hot shots like these wouldn't have to resort to this kind of stuff to secure some new mates.

On the other end, look at guys who, despite their wealth, size, everything, still had a hard time getting women to fuck them from everything that transpired, and had to resort to blackmail and suchlike, most prominently Bill O'Reilly and Harvey Weinstein. That's because their game was weak, again, according from what was leaked.

If you're in a fast-paced environment, with a continuous rotation of new people, where you need to act fast and smooth and not waste time, whether in a corporate context or other, then you need game. Period.

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