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As a woman’s beauty increases, so too does her subtlety… while
her number of sex partners falls. Do you recognize the signs beautiful
women give you?
Recently I found myself in an unfamiliar part of a familiar town. Kind of on the outskirts. And something stuck out at me: the women here were, on average, less attractive than the women in the city center I usually frequent. More unattractive women, and more women who were only somewhat cute; fewer knockout stunners. But the approach invitations I received were much more blatant.
Whereas in the city center, I might sense a girl glance at me, then turn toward her and she’d already have looked away, brushing back her hair as she did... now, in the outskirts, I’d sense a girl look at me, turn toward her, and she’d keep her eyes trained right on mine. Whereas in the usual part of town, a beautiful girl might come hover somewhat near me, now cute (but not beautiful) girls would walk up and position themselves blatantly next to me. The difference was plain as a tree on a hilltop.
Contents
This is something I’ve noticed, come to think of it, on the
outskirts of other familiar towns as well. The girls on the outskirts
are often not quite as cute, but they are more obvious. I never
expressly
equated outskirts with less cute, more obvious girls before, but when I
look back, it’s often been the case that a good chunk of the ‘easy
venues’ I have on tap are located on the outskirts of town. These are
venues where the girls you meet will be cute or pretty but not
stunning, but they make up for it by being more obvious in their
interest and less coy to your approach.
There are other factors likely at play on the outskirts; girls in
the city
center are in more of a hurry, are busier, and pay less attention to
those around them, for one. They also tend to be more status conscious,
which means any too-obvious signals carry more risk for them. They are
also more ambitious, which means more careful screening of interested
men. Girls in
the outskirts are less hurried and have more time to check out and
throw signals at men, and less status-risk to worry them. They’re also
less interested in screening you, and more interested in whether you
can provide a fun time or not.
Yet even accounting for factors like this, all other things being
even, there remains a clear
attractiveness-obviousness correlation; the less attractive the girl,
the more obvious she makes her signals.
The less cute a girl is (or, at least, the less hot she is), the more blatant are her signals. Also, not only are more attractive women less aggressive; they’re subtler, too. The cuter a girl gets, the more coy she gets.
Which makes sense, of course... When you’re more in-demand, you can
hold out for a better deal. You can play more coy. When you’re not as
in-demand, you must chase down the deals yourself, and no longer have
the luxury to hang back and wait for the ones you want to come to you.
But does this mean beautiful women are out of most men’s grasps?
Comments
Hey Chase what about when
Hey Chase what about when they're not so subtle like with athletes and such, they tend to be very dirty with them, is this possible w/o me being an athlete or very high status, or do I have to expect subtlety from hotter women like the rest of us?
Girls Aggressive with Athletes
Eric-
What makes certain women more aggressive with athletes is athletes have standout qualities: they have fame (even if only local fame), big muscles, often are tall, and have large amounts of social proof and preselection from other women.
There are myriad ways to get women to be aggressive with you aside from being an athlete, but they mostly all revolve around building your own panoply of standout qualities. I might suggest these articles to start:
Chase
Thanks Chase
Hey I found an article way back when from heartiste about fame, https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/spot-the-alpha-red-carpet-edi...
Guess one could do it on a local level, as heartiste says a man with fame can make hundreds thousands ginas tingle at once lol
Muscles I can gain. Social proof aside from fame and preselection can be learned from this site which I subscribed quarterly and as you said most aspiring seducers lack the drive to be great, ill leave you the answer unsaid as to my drive and my aspirations with this site lol :). And lastly ill start with said articles, thanks for the response, cant wait to begin this journey and end with being as attractive as an athlete as far as female aggression goes
Getting attractive women as you get older.
Chase,
When a guy is younger, he can often get hot girls by being "popular" in high school or by being "popular" in college. Usually this is done through playing sports in high school and in college, similar way but also by being in a fraternity as a lot of times the hottest girls on campus are in sororities.
As we leave the college bubble and hit the real world, big city for example, it seems like you are taking shots in the dark by cold approaching attractive women or you are hoping you work it out with them on online dating websites. While that is the case, I wonder if there is something I am missing to this. I was unfamiliar with the importance of status in my college days and it cost me dearly as I saw the hot girls go off with frat boys and athletes.
While I have started to do better with women after college, I was wondering if there is this sort of a status game or something along those lines that I can play in order to get hot girls. In my head I feel like hot girls are all congregating in certain social crowds and by me not being in those social crowds, I am missing out on meeting hot girls.
Being that status seems to matter, at least from what I hear, what are some tactics that guys who are older than the age of 25 can use to get hot girls other than cold approach and online dating?
Social Circle Post-Graduation
Hasterhals-
Yes, certainly, cold approach and online neglect the benefits high status offers in social circle situations. If you enjoy leveraging status / enjoy social circle, however, there are tons of ways to take advantage of this post-college:
Nightlife: either get a (part-time, if you already have full-time employment) job as a bartender, promoter, photographer, DJ, or bouncer, or go on off-nights, get to know all the staff, and build equity in your city's nightlife scene
Professional: go to happy hours, networking events, etc. Meet the organizers and most outgoing people. Befriend them. Get into their circles and join them in other events.
Party scene: block parties, barbecues, and after parties being the most common. To get into these scenes, you will need to meet people already in them, befriend them, and make a good impression. Then join them at parties, befriend the other people there, and start to go to other parties with those other people. Alek has a good guide on getting into after parties you might want to read.
Group events: there are various communities that hold group events. You can find private social networks (say, for young professionals), or even broader ones, like Yelp (which holds in-town events for reviewers; these tend to have plenty of guys and gals). When you find mixed-sex groups that hold real-life events, focus on raising your profile within the group, and leverage that raised profile at events.
Model scout: do some work as a model talent scout or photographer. Raise your profile in that scene.
There are a number of other examples like this... there are just a few to get you started.
A full list of professions/hobbies you can take up to leverage social circle post-university:
Also see this article by Ricardus:
Main thing: look for places where groups of men and attractive-enough women congregate. Wherever you find this, then look for the people who have status within these groups and appear to be regulars. Those are the people you need to befriend.
Chase
Handsome!
Chase don't take this the wrong way, I am a straight guy, but you look handsome in that photo man! (no homo).
I've legitimately wanted to bartend while working full time but it seems so tough to get in at a good spot in those circumstances and I have had my eyes set on that. TBH, I have wanted to get into the service industry in college but those spots were reserved for Greek Life trash.
The other thing that gets me about it is age, I am 27 and worrying if it is too old to bartend at my age, especially at the place where hot girls congregate.
Model scout is something else I might look into, would love to try and break into that industry if I can man but I'd like to spend some time bartending if I can.
As for group events and such, what I find is that the women there are lackluster and at happy hours, these are professional so you can't really shit where you eat.
Thanks for the advice man, you guys should do a post on this sort of stuff since so many post grads browse your site.
Chris Rock Said It Well
Chris Rock said it well "pussy is expensive, dick is free, any money spent on dick is a bad investment."
Aim High
I have a lower cutoff that girls have to be above looks-wise and as long as they are above it my focus shifts to how she treats me and appearance is no longer much of an issue.
I imagine women are similar. As long as your appearance is above her lower cutoff, you have as good a shot with a 10 as with a 7. You may have to work harder for it, but it won’t be looks that disqualifies you. Learn to read those signals and set your sights high.
. . .into practice.
So what's the solution? Taking leaps of faith and building reference points?
I guess I'll keep a mental note on those 4 subtler signals.
I'm somewhere between beginner and intermediate. . . where I'm used to the signals of average looking girls I meet here and there and then it all comes down to whether I care enough and /or hit escalation windows, over and over - but truly hot girls are nowhere to be seen (most likely because of what these articles say).
Refining Your Signal Sniffer
Meerfat-
That's the best solution for the fastest growth, if you don't mind the rejection.
If you're a little more rejection sensitive, then I'd aim to do the sociable natural thing and be chatty with pretty girls, then go for compliance tests and see how they respond. What you'll be looking for is surprises: girls you thought would comply with your tests who refuse, and girls you thought would refuse your tests who comply. The more surprised you are, the more likely it is you didn't pick up on signals one way or the other.
Then, when the surprises happen, do a little after-the-fact analysis and see if you can't recall signals she put out that might've tipped you off earlier.
Chase
Experienced vs. inexperienced
Hi Chase
Thanks to your team for the articles you post here.
I have been chatting with this young girl since I picked her up one week ago. I have met her twice (Wed and yesterday) as well. Trouble is, she has been making our meet ups very short claiming that her sister, where she stays, keeps watch over her. She has also been insisting that we can't meet far from their place, which is about 3km from my house. I have also learned from our interactions that she pays some importance to religion (According to Colt's article, "How to Date Religious Girls", I guess she falls under either category 1 or 2). Yesterday after we'd met I felt that I am wasting my time because I can't make her come with me, and the logistics (and time) don't work to my advantage whenever we meet. I "half"-gave up kind of.
Previously, she had requested me to take her to a local administration office this week which is close to my house - less than 200 mtrs away (she just landed a short-term job and was asked to report there, and she is new in this area and don't know the place). I had agreed to her request but yesterday I almost changed my mind about the plans. But then I remembered your article on "13 Things Inexperienced Girls Do that Men Mistake for Sluttiness", and it reminded me of so many times she has done some stuff that indicate how inexperienced she is.
Myself, I have had a lot of trouble with inexperienced girls because I used to suck in game. I had met quite a dozen of them before I learned of this site, but I never went with any of them as far as I have gone with this one. She is eager with me every time we text/meet, tells me a lot about herself, and does other interesting things that imply she wants to move things forward.
Though yesterday after we met, I thought that she was deliberately avoiding becoming lovers with me and I ended up responding badly to her texts later at night. After thinking for some while I noticed I was wrong to decide that this is a failed mission already and to respond badly to her texts. But I hope I didn't offend her that much to the point that she won't text again.
I am expecting her to contact me tomorrow about our arrangement, because she told me while we were together yesterday that she will. So I want you, or anyone in your team, to advise me on how to take advantage of the "date near my house" tomorrow to lead us to getting together.
And a quick one, in the "inexperienced" article, you said you will do a follow-up article on experienced women. If you have please link me to it, it will help new guys like me.
Once again, I am grateful for the difference you guys have made in me in the past few months when I was a MGTOW. Now I look back at myself and I just can't thank you enough! Even though the progress has been slow, at least I've worked on my fundamentals and that alone has changed my social life completely.
Keep up!
~tuks
Breaking the Pattern
Tuks-
One question: are you using touch?
And if so, a follow-up question: are you escalating your touch?
I would start with this, and see where you can get with it. Will give you a much better understanding where you stand.
Chase
Real Advice
Strongest frame always wins. There is no objective reality or morality.
- What do you need to do to get these knockout stunners? Lemme tell you...
You just have to project your full self mindfully and separate personalities to be outcome independent. Reach true alignment through intent and visualizations by doing kino push pull escalation combined with advanced fractionation. Frame control your way into absolute abundance by being authentic self. Confidence plus living in the moment as r-selected will lead to domino effect. Congruence and eye coding finally break any token resistance and invoke compliance by refusing no for an answer and beasting.
Welcome to Secret Society.
Situation
Chase what do you think about this situation? My mom says that im a traitor because I chose to live with my father instead of her because he had a more stable living condition. She says that I left her alone and that everything shes done for me was for nothing because she says I prefer my father over her. She divorced my dad about two years ago and wants me to hate my dad because of all the things he did to her in the past (cheating/manipulating). I love her a lot, and I also feel sorry for her, but I told her its not right for her to put me in the middle of her arguments. She complains about my dad all the time, and says hes the reason why shes where shes at right now (living in rented room). I dont know if what I did was wrong and I really did betray my mom or if shes just trying to manipulate me.
Accusatory Mother
Lokito-
Check these out:
But yes, sounds like she is vampire'ing it up with you. Doesn't necessarily mean she's crazy; most women in distressed positions behave essentially no different from borderline personality disorder women (the problem with BPD people is they behave like a distressed woman 24/7).
I'd also keep in mind women have a strong need for emotional support, and it sounds like she was leaning on you for this. The balancing act for you is to find ways to support her that don't drain you or put you in a bad place. Ultimately she will need to find additional means of emotional support, be that friends, a new boyfriend, etc.
Not sure what your father did or why, but if she complains about him constantly, that might be a hint of a contributing factor to why he did whatever he did. If she was using him as her emotional stopgap and he fled the coop, she may be left only with you, and now is trying to put you in that role instead.
Chase
No big difference though
I actually don't think there is a big difference between less cute and beautiful women when it comes their signals at all.
I get a lot of glances from women of all categories and whether they are just cute, average or hot they all glance, play with their hairs and present their body in front of you. Even the most beautiful woman will become a little annyoing girl once her attention is captured by a guy she likes.
I feel like women who are subtle just find you attractive, but once they WANT you they be like vampires
Girls subtle eye contact
Hey Chase.
One thing I notice often is when I'm just walking somewhere (Mall, street, grocery store, whatever), and if a girl (whether by herself or in a group) is walking towards me, she of course will be looking straight on where she is going, and just we cross paths I notice very often at the very last second girls often suddenly look straight up at me, as if a last ditch effort to evaluate me one last time (likely already noticing me from afar as we walk towards each other).
What do you make of this? Is this a solid indicator of interest that I'm only getting at the last possible second? Obviously for me to do anything with it, I presume I would be best advised to hold that eye contact with her for that split second, stop, turn around, and hey "Hey!" to get her attention, and then open her from there.
As many other men, I suffer from cold approach anxiety, but if I had some sort of sure fire way (nothing is 100%) to know which women wanted me to approach/open them, it would be much easier...
Your thoughts?
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