You and Your Game Attract a Certain Kind of Girl | Girls Chase

You and Your Game Attract a Certain Kind of Girl

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

attract a type of girl
You attract the women you’ve tailored yourself to attract. But that’s not all: the women you do well with tailor you further still.

I’ve talked about this over the years in various articles. However, it’s worth giving its own proper treatment, if only to make sure everyone who reads here gets this message.

There are some girls who are going to like you more. Some girls who will like you a lot more. And there are some girls who are going to be less excited by you.

Who these girls are is determined by two (2) things:

  1. You (and your fundamentals), and
  2. Your game

If you’re great with athletic girls who love the outdoors, for instance, you’ll tend to struggle a lot more with bookworm girls who are well-read and love to bury their noses in tomes. If you do awesome with alternative-scene girls from electronic dance clubs, you’ll usually struggle more with flashy, aloof girls at high-end nightclubs.

The better you are with one demographic of girls (i.e., the more you specialize), the worse you will tend to do with other, dissimilar demographics to her. Great fundamentals and game will take the edge off specialization (so the penalties for specializing are not as severe), but it never goes away completely.

Why should this be so?

I’m going to take you through the ‘why’s. Then, I’m going to help you decide what to specialize in... and whether to resist too much specialization and be a generalist instead.

Comments

deliberater's picture

Loving the article, Chase! It's funny how some articles seem to appear with perfect timing for me, as I'm pondering those ideas, and give me an epiphany feeling ;)

As you mention the differences between the type of girls you prefer, I'm getting the sense that you draw the line based on beauty, intelligence, ambition, but also how safe they make you feel in terms of how flirtatious and sexual they are. I'm curious about the situation when the girl is on vacation herself. This would influence the latter aspect of your screening, namely sexuality: just through the nature of the situation, she acts more sexual and flirtatious than she normally would. Does being on vacation put her into the "fling" bin automatically?

I've noticed an interesting pattern in the girls I've been with: a large percentage of the highest quality ones have been on vacation themselves. Maybe this is because all my seductions start from the frame of "I'm not going to be here for long". Or maybe it's just an unconscious bias, knowing that these are the girls who are most clearly choosing me as a lover, and thus tend to attach themselves to me easier afterwards. Or maybe it's just too few reference points, as I'm not targeting girls on vacation directly ;)

Also, your observation on chase framing is very interesting. I'd love reading an article on how your views, principles and standard tactics have changed with time and based on your learnings.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Deliberator-

Does being on vacation put her into the "fling" bin automatically?

Well, I'm not going to tell anyone what to do with his own preferences.

For me, a girl on vacation isn't ruled out, but if I want to date her she goes under heightened scrutiny. Does she take a lot of vacations and shack up with new guys on them? If so, probably not a good fit for a girlfriend role. If it's the first big vacation she's had and I shag her on the second day of it though, that's a different story.

I've noticed an interesting pattern in the girls I've been with: a large percentage of the highest quality ones have been on vacation themselves. Maybe this is because all my seductions start from the frame of "I'm not going to be here for long". Or maybe it's just an unconscious bias, knowing that these are the girls who are most clearly choosing me as a lover, and thus tend to attach themselves to me easier afterwards. Or maybe it's just too few reference points, as I'm not targeting girls on vacation directly ;)

Might be something peripheral to how you're targeting.

e.g., if you approach girls by themselves in a touristy part of town, you'll be pretty likely to meet girls who are tourists.

Girls who vacation elsewhere tend to be financially better off, more educated, more interested in the world, etc. If these are all things that going into your 'quality score', you'll find the average girl on vacation higher quality than the average girl not on vacation.

You'll also find some localities where the local women don't have much to offer, but the place still attracts quality tourist girls. You might be in a place like this.

I'd love reading an article on how your views, principles and standard tactics have changed with time and based on your learnings.

I'll put it on the list!

Chase

The person on the throne's picture

Some groups are arguably higher status than other groups. For example, persons with an upper class style: good job, dressed in an upper class say, and do upper class activities such as go to the opera and play golf are arguably higher status than clubbing guys. So, a doctor, for example, may have an easier time making a girl who regularly goes clubbing his girlfriend than a guy who regularly goes clubbing.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Person-

Well, depends what she's looking for.

Usually, people date people who are similar to them. Similar interests, similar social class, similar background, you name it. The more similar, the more likely they are to get together.

I used to spend a lot of time in nightclubs. Most of the girls I'd meet there would date other guys who spent a lot of time in nightclubs. The ones who'd date successful professional guys would tend to either be successful professional girls who also just happened to like clubs, or gold diggers.

However, you will still see the disillusioned club girl who's not a professional or a gold digger, and on the rebound from her last bad boy club boyfriend she starts dating a doctor or lawyer who doesn't club. Usually the guy weakens pretty fast though, because she's surrounded with sexy men and he (not clubbing) isn't surrounded by sexy women. Power balance changes, she gets bored, and before you know it she's back to shagging club guys again. Usually how it goes.

Chase

Black's picture

I see you said that you want girls with respectable careers as girlfriends.

So we know that girls have a list like you do as well right?

But I've read in articles what you do is not important for her or that you should even be telling her what you do in the first place most times.

I know that your career doesn't matter with hooking up with girls, but what if you want to make her your girl?

Unless once you sleep with her your career won't matter and you can make her your girl then?

Basically my question is does a man's career matter more to a woman than a women's career to a man?

I don't want to get in the habit of thinking I'm not good enough because of my career.

What are other careers you respect from men and women?

Peace

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Black-

Yes... when I'm saying, "She doesn't care about your job!" I mean that exclusively for reaching sex.

You could be an artist, a billionaire, or a hobo, and it's not really going to matter THAT much for a hookup beyond how you use it and frame it. In a lot of well-run pickups, job may not even come up, or may take up no more than 10 seconds of total conversation time.

But once you're in a relationship together, career starts to matter a lot more, especially if you frame yourself as a boyfriend. The more of a boyfriend you want her to see you as, the more important career becomes. And if your career is garbage (relative to hers), you need to offset it with increasingly more impressive credentials and/or increasingly more dramatic ambitions.

Just remember it's relative. If she's a lawyer and you work at a taco stand, you've got a problem. But if she works at a taco stand and you work at a taco stand, it's not usually so much of a problem.

Chase

No More Ramen For Me's picture

Chase,

I am not sure if you have noticed this personally but I notice that a lot of good looking olive skinned brunettes (Italian, Greek, and even American women with that kind of an appearance) seem to prefer lighter featured men with blonde hair and blue eyes. In the USA this seems to be an extremely common type of pairing.

Even my friends who have that sort of a look say that they've had some brunettes out of their league come on strong. I notice that Italian and Mediterranean white women aren't that crazy for the tall dark and handsome looks but prefer a more Aryan looking guy with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Similarly, I notice that redheads really seem to love darker skinned men. Funny thing is I have seen some beautiful redheads go for Asian, Indian, Mediterranean, Black, and Hispanic men, at times there was even a mismatch to where the guy was not that good looking. Almost every single attractive redhead I've known seems to love darker skinned men.

As for the Indian guy example, after we accept that most "blonde bombshells" are really just brunettes desperately trying to climb the social ladder, I notice that natural blondes (tall, freckles, and naturally lighter features) seem to be somewhat more open to going for good looking guys with that sort of an exotic appearance.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think that attractive women really hate being with men who have a similar ethnic appearance as them?

JJ's picture

Ha-ha, I always say the same exact thing to my friends! It's what I see EVERYWHERE I go whether in California or other places I frequent for visits. I've noticed the vast majority of my bronzed dark featured girlfriends are partial to the blond blue eyed Viking Ken doll type guys. In the same way my blonde Barbie type gals partner up with the tanned ethnic or straight up black guys, I'm a deep auburn redhead minus the freckles & honestly ;D I prefer older darker types, but I also have a weakness for blue/green eyes since, I have brown ones. My one monogamous partner where we declared each other bf/gf was native American and I'm of Belarusian/Jewish heritage. I guess opposites attract in terms of heritage, coloring & height. However, I'm more attracted to other properties aside from physical ones mainly tattoos, hobbies, personality & lifestyle. When I hookup I target the loser meathead fitness types in that tattooed category. As for relationships, even though I don't care much at all for them right now (i just turned 26 and worship my f---ing freedom) what I need is solid common ground on intellectual matters like goals,principles and lifestyle to go along with those physical features.

Jimbo's picture

Hey look who's back, if it ain't J from the block! Listen Judith I got just the right guy for you: self-proclaimed loser with lotsa muscle. Okay now who do you got for me?! (I don't want any of that Samoan stuff you're into)

JJ's picture

Hey J, from the Vegas strip! Hahaha! He's a Brandon Davis lookalike just as greasy, loser & unattractive, at least Brandon has his inheritance to overlook his poor looks. I'm a used up, social suicide rule breaker bc I love me some Middle eastern, Native American, Pacific islander flavors especially with hazel eyes like this one :D https://postimg.org/image/yabzuh9ir/
Anyway, nothing wrong with pagans so you're not into Pacific Islanders or alternative types. What do you like? Blondes?

Jimbo's picture

Looks like a fun dude, the kind I'd have a beer with.

Yeah I'm more into Caucasian. Re: blondes, two types of them provoke two types of emotions in me. One is what I call the Sheer Beauty (kind of like this one), and the other the Sheer Slutty (think Tara Reid). The former tends to be natural blonde, and so beautiful she stirs in me a powerful affective attachment to her, and an awe. You'd like to just lock her up in a museum that's mine. The latter tends to be a bottle blonde, her appeal is more primal and sexual, and stir in me a perverse fascination and attachment as well.

Last attempt: Roosh.

wherertheybatman!'s picture

"In the same way my blonde Barbie type gals partner up with the tanned ethnic or straight up black guys or tanned ethnic guys"

Where in the world is this? I can see it with black guys but most blonde barbie types seem to hate "ethnic" men, especially Asians Arabs and Indians

JJ's picture

Bat boy, I live in California the most populated US state with over 38 million ppl I see it everywhere, back when when I lived in NYC, Texas & when I travel abroad which I do often. I have four white Belarusian/Jewish cousins married to ethnic guys and they have 11 biracial kids between them. On top of that a ton of my blonde/light eyed friends go for guys that aren't white. As for the tanned ethnic men, I will elaborate for you since you've got your perplexed brain twisted in a knot. Its Hispanic, Turkish,Greek, Brazilian, Caribbean,dark large eyed Pacific Islander & Native American men.

wherertheybatman!'s picture

Seen any Indian guys get the hot blonde types?

JJ's picture

I dont know if you're Indian bat boy, but you sound a little resentful. Take all the advice from the professionals here they're genuine experts with the ladies, I've never encountered better. Seriously, enough of this already; :D Lol, I do relish a relentless guy hahaha. For the last time wrap your mind around this, I've got a ton of mileage (my cars and savings hate me for it) bc i travel by plane almost as much as I do by car to attend huge gatherings like conventions, festivals, concerts,resorts in Cabo etc.. Therefore, I spend and get to see more than your average American (well, I'm normal for adventurous Californians).Point being, I do see a lot of blondes (assuming all are natural, which is sometimes hard to tell) not just girlfriends, but wives w/ kids married to Middle Eastern men. Now unless they're girls I know from somewhere, I won't randomly go up to strangers and ask them to specify if their companion is Sri Lankan,Indonesian(Muslim), Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Afghan, Nepali,Iranian, from Myanmar etc.. What I can say is I have 12 close blonde/light brunette/redhead friends married to Iranian, Turkish & Pakistani men and most have kids. Anyhow, I never strictly, brought up Indian, but Middle Eastern is pretty close. As for Asians if they're Pacific Islander even Indonesian, I can attest plenty of girls including myself that would gladly take up with them. I admit occasionally, i stray for the blond Viking types myself as long as they're not pretty boys. I need rough around the edges, rugged,older & tattooed. As a redhead I dont exactly go for redhead men, there is never a mutual interest present there lol. Currently, one guy I'm w/ is exactly how i prefer them, a 39 yr. old Palauan & I'm a 26 year old third generation Californian of Belarusian/Jewish descent. If an Indian guy wants a blonde I think the most attractive qualities are going to be charisma, sophistication, worldliness, wit, humor and keeping in shape, dressing well & being genuine helps never try to be the opposite of who you truly are. I think you're the introverted reclusive type read articles on how to polish yourself and improve your chances with spotlight loving spontaneous extroverted blondes.For a longer lasting relationship only way it can last for me is having a similar lifestyle,interests and philosophies. I would need a more tuned down male version of myself, can't do personality opposite I'd gulp up a mellow agreeable type.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

No More Ramen-

Sounds like you had a bad experience with noodles!

So, yeah. I've seen the same thing. However, so far as I can tell it seems to more be noticing conspicuous couplings / confirmation bias than any actual trend.

Try this experiment: over the next two weeks, jot down every couple you see where both partners are fair skinned and blonde, and also jot down every couple where one partner is fair skinned and blonde and the other is dark skinned and exotic. You'll find a lot more of the former than the latter. But you didn't notice them because they're not interesting, so never hit your radar.

It's hard to draw accurate inferences from anecdotal reports. Small sample sizes, and again, confirmation bias / normalcy blindness kicks in, and we remember examples that stick out and forget examples that don't. e.g., I've had a couple of good redhead female friends and they all dated exclusively white guys. However, there could be a thing to what you've noticed; redheads are the least attractive group of whites (right now), which means we're (and I say we, as a redhead myself) batting at the low end of the white people desirability scale. So you might see more redheads saying, "Other whites don't want to date me; screw it, I'll date XYZ non-white group."

Chase

24kMagick's picture

Chase,

Pointing at your Indian guy blonde girl example, most Indian men that want these girls aren't the types who exclusively hang with Indians, they are more like Kumar from White Castle. Raised around white people so they develop the same tastes as a lot of white guys did, part of it is due to looks and part of it is due to wanting to fit in.

But it brings me to another point about it, outside factors like media and society playing a role. In case of social circle it might not matter but in situations like walking into a nightclub or bar, it could play a major role. Like a Hispanic, black, or Asian girl at a bar might love to get with a handsome Indian man while the American blonde will not be as open to it due to the stigma that exists in American society of a hot blonde going for a non-white guy of a more foreign minority group (Indian, Asian, etc.), especially in some parts of the country where that is definitely asking for trouble.

You might have a cool Indian guy who gets American blondes through social circle game but take him out of that social circle and put him in a situation like a bar or nightclub, it makes me wonder if he will still mainly get hot blondes or other kinds of girls. Perhaps have him try Tinder and see what kinds of girls he is matching with, to get a better idea of what kinds of girls his look attracts.

It is like media and society somehow convoluting to say "it's okay if this kind of girl dates that kind of guy but not that kind of guy" but just in regards to race. Women, being cautious of this sort of thing, will tend to obey it and not step too much out of bounds.

Then there is environment, I am currently in NYC and I think it is a given that if you live in and run game in this city, you're going to end up being with a lot of brunettes and swarthier white girls since they are tough to avoid. I've gone to bars some nights in the city and it was Monica Bellucci and Shannon Elizabeth lookalikes walking around everywhere so if you're not open to going for brunettes, you were SOL. Due to that alone the vast majority of my lays in recent years have been brunettes, during a span of some months they were the only kinds of women I could get with.

I almost feel like just how California is known for having blondes, NYC should be recognized as having an almost overabundance of cute brunettes.

Even then, with some serious work on my part, I've been able to pull a blonde or two here so when there is a will there is a way!

Jimbo's picture

I don't know man, I don't think that's true. I'll even go so far to say that even though blacks have been a more traditional, historical minority in the US, it's still more taboo for a white girl (especially a blonde one) to be seen with a black dude than with a dot Indian (and even feather for that matter). I think the reason many status-conscious blonde girls shun South Asians has most to do with them not being perceived as a cool minority yet than with it being taboo/stigmatizing to be seen with one. Hell even uber-conservative Ann Coulter dated that Dinesh fella and nobody raised an eyebrow (to my recollection). So yeah, I guess if the girl really likes you and you're sexy on an individual level it's not off-limits as you tried that yourself.

24kMagick's picture

By far, it is way more taboo for a hot blonde to get with an Indian man than a black man. If she dates an Indian man, she will be hearing all sorts of openly racist comments from her social circle (especially some bitter white guys that might be in it) all day everyday since it's not taboo to be openly racist towards Indian people. South Asians not being seen as a "cool" minority definitely adds to the racism and the taboo in American society that exists.

In a lot of "progressive" social circles, the blonde will be seen as "brave" for dating a black man but dating a South Asian man?

He's from a culture that hates women.

He's third world trash.

People in his country shit on the side of the streets.

Mocking his accent to get under her skin.

There is nothing really taboo about blonde women dating black men, in some areas like the northeast corner of the USA a lot of people encourage it because it is so "progressive". A hot blonde dating an Indian man is very taboo because everyone in American society from the white nationalist to the yuppie that voted for Hillary Clinton will try to destroy her social image for it.

As for Ann Coulter, I have found that blondes who are more on the conservative side in terms of politics are somewhat more open to going for Indian and Asian men (though that isn't saying much). Conservatives and Republicans aren't really as racist towards Indian men as the liberals are because we're model minorities (along with the Asians), liberals and the left wing hate Asian and Indian men for being model minorities and as a result use dirty tactics to stop men from those backgrounds from dating attractive women (especially if she is a blonde).

There is a reason you're more likely to see an Indian guy with a pretty looking blonde in a place like Texas as opposed to a place like New York City. I won't say its old school hang you from a tree racism, its more destroy your social image for dating "an Indian" sort of racism.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

24kMagick-

It's very hard for me to say, without, say, taking a bunch of Indian guys out to bars and having them talk to blonde girls, then having them talk to other girls. Anything I would say here would just be speculation.

However, I can tell you from talking with girls who've gone from brunette to blonde, the jump in attention they get as soon as they walk out of the salon with their new yellow here is astronomical. And apparently minority men go the craziest, buying in (I guess) to all the blonde bombshell propaganda they see on TV.

Even if a girl didn't start out saying, "I'm bleaching my hair because I want to get All American Guys," (but a lot of them DO start out saying that), after a few weeks of onslaught by weird / desperate guys who would've ignored her previously but now can't stay away from her and her golden locks, she's going to tend to raise that guard up to anyone who looks like another creeper who's only interested in her because he saw girls like her on TV.

Provided you can overcome that (rather low) bar, and show her you're a cool guy and not a weirdo, you shouldn't be at too much of a disadvantage over other guys. May even be an advantage ("Oh? An Indian guy who's cool and is NOT hitting on me in a creepy way? What's this guy's story? I need to find out if he's faking, or if he's the real deal!").

But yeah, if you're in a town like NYC where girls don't care about bleaching their hair nearly as much, there will not be as many blonde bombshells to go around.

America in general is really not the country to be in if you want natural blondes, either. Rather low portion of the population that is naturally blonde. Scandinavia is the place to head to if you want lots of blondes (or California, if you don't mind bottle blondes).

And if it's out of control until you get good... Then it just is. Worry about what you can control for now, and the rest will come into your circle with time.

Chase

24kMagick's picture

With your attitude and positive outlook on things, I can see why you do so well with women, truly hope to adopt this myself.

I will say that America does have a lot of blondes (real or fake) to go around, especially parts of the Midwest with high Scandinavian and German ancestry (might have to check those out myself in the near future). Even in NYC, you get a lot of "blonde bombshells" in certain parts of Manhattan, especially the yuppie crowd but the issue is, I suspect that crowd might actually be very cliquish in regards to race and ethnicity.

My luck has come from foreign blondes that have visited this city to be honest, it's weird that they don't really care about race all that much. I've noticed Arab, Asian, and even Indian men having success with the pretty blonde from Czech Republic or Scandanavia while not doing nearly as well with the All American girl, especially if she is from the northeast. Even the Asian and brown men I've met with hot blondes in this city, most of the times I noticed that the blonde was more on the foreign side like European or anywhere outside the Anglosphere (America, Canada, Australia, and to an extent the UK) as opposed to your typical all American girl.

My suspicion is that the All American girl probably has more social pressure on her to only date certain kinds of guys and I think this may be playing a big role. Similar to how college to where sorority girls typically never went for anything other than frat boys because it would be social suicide, I am wondering if the reason you don't see the Hayden Panetierre yuppie type of blonde with a brown guy is because she has jealous banker types and other finance douchebags she has to worry about destroying her reputation.

I mean it would make sense since blonde bombshells are big on status and anything that is a major hit to their status (like dating a brown guy in NYC) is a path they would tend to avoid. Surely in a city like NYC which has one of the most racist histories in the USA (even whites like the Irish and Italians were hated here), I would suspect that a lot of these blondes are picking up on the race and status thing.

CoochieLiquor's picture

"Typically, you’ll specialize in girls who are your mirror: ..."

===

Does this apply to gold diggers and men who date them?

If you look at Melania Trump and compare her to her husband, you'll see big differences:

- Wealth gap
- Age gap
- Education gap
- Looks gap
- Language gap
- Background gap
etc.

Would you say that these relationships (similar to Trump's) are 'complementary' in some weird way, instead of being partnerships of equals?

Jimbo's picture

It's not in some weird way, they are complementary. My relationships don't usually last more than a couple of months, but if I were to get into a long-lasting one (like marriage or something) I'd probably get a woman who's either poorer, much less educated, or just lower status in general, and definitely much younger. Women are just attracted to men who are more powerful than they are, and that includes wealth, provided you don't use your power and resources in a supplicative way but to assert your dominance in the relationship. Even the girls who can pull their own weight financially will be attracted to men who overpower them in some other way (physically, in character, temper, older, higher-status, etc.)

You'll never see a woman more submissive to you than one you overpower financially or in status in the same way you're a little submissive to your boss or the guy who owns the gym, except that in women this is accompanied by lust. And not just because she's dependent on you and she has to, no that's just the bullshit feminists peddle; she also enjoys being dependant on you and have you be in charge, on a certain primal level.

Trump picked the best woman for a wife as a well-off, high-status man: a much poorer but hot one. "Best" as in "easiest to handle". He says he doesn't do any of that "wife stuff" like diapers or cooking. "I supply the funds; she does the rearing." You go boy!

One thing you have to keep in mind though in this day and age is that if you wanna go that way you're gonna have to go to additional lengths to protect your ass; in other words get a solid prenup + move a large amount of your assets to a trust prior to marriage. You know, so that she doesn't get any ideas.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

CoochieLiquor-

So far as I can tell, Melania Trump is not a gold digger. Donald Trump is a big subscriber to the racehorse theory of mate selection, which would suggest he screens for a great deal more than just a pretty face:

She doesn't seem to match the attention whore profile most gold diggers seem to have, either. But you never know.

Typical gold digger / benefactor relationships are not normal/healthy 'mirror' relationships. Instead they are more transactional relationships, where the woman is trading her beauty for his wealth, and the man is trading his wealth for her beauty. These relationships tend to be cold and unhappy. Both partners tend to have affairs, from what I've seen. If there's a mirror aspect, it would be that of two incomplete people trading what they think the opposite sex wants in exchange for what they think they ought to want.

That said, gaps in wealth / age / etc., don't preclude partners being your mirror. By 'mirror', I do not mean someone who is your carbon copy in all ways. Instead you will look for partners with similarity in a number of different departments (like values, background, ambitions, etc.).

In Trump's case, as someone who subscribes to the same kind of racehorse mate selection criteria he does, I can tell you right now if I was 55 years old (or however old he was when he wed Melania), I would not be looking for a 55 year old woman. She's infertile, and already has her own grown children to raise at that point. I'd be looking for a woman of childbearing age who otherwise matched my views and ambitions and what I want in a mate (I'm 34 at this point, and would never start dating a girl over 29. Probably not a girl over 26. But I wouldn't rule out changing the rules for a super hot, awesome, perfect 29 year old gal. And I expect those age requirements to remain unchanged as I climb in years). Language gap's never been a problem for me; the great thing about girls who don't speak English is after they spend enough time with a guy who speaks English, they figure out how to speak English. And accents are cute.

Another consideration with a guy like Trump is that the pool of available female multibillionaires is rather small, and I'm not sure there are even any of childbearing age - which kind of rules dating his financial equal out as an option (if reproduction is the goal. And if it isn't, for a mission-oriented guy like Trump, then what's the point of getting married?).

I'll tell you myself, were I a multimillionaire, I would not waste time looking for a multimillionaire chick to date or marry, because there aren't that many of them, and most of the ones there are are too busy chasing after their projects and businesses to make good girlfriends or mothers. You can find women who are good mirrors for your values, ambitions, etc., without them having to be financial or age matches, and in some situations this may be preferred.

Chase

Jimbo's picture

Good read. And it'd be great if you made a part 2 wherein you'd give tips for have to tailor oneself for each type of girl (e.g.: for the bookworm, you gotta be this, do this, etc.)

But you know, I also found out that when a girl likes you enough, she'll make tweaks about herself herself to be more compatible with you. But that's more in the relationship. Whereas the guy will have to specialize himself pre-hookup if he wants a certain type.

Now re: the hookup/dating dichotomy, I pretty much treat all my approaches as hookups, in the sense that I look mostly for the girls who seem most receptive to me or toward whom I feel most energized and confident, and they end up being girls of various types, so I can't really say I have a hookup type. Keep in mind that I'm not a 'player', in that I only go out for the purpose of picking up like once every couple of months, and as a long as I have a chick to wet my dick into I rarely look for other girls (I never cheated lol, not because I make myself not cheat, but because one at a time is usually enough for me so I don't care about other girls). But anyway, I've been doing all that for years now so I guess I have enough reference points.

Rationally I know that the best type of girl to have a relationship with is one that is both nice and smart/educated, and I have been with one like that, great girl. With that said the three main types of girls I've mostly gone on to date have been:

1) The Girly Pushover: Those are the giggly excitable "okay lol" type. I've stuck around those because having them submit to my frame is very easy. They quickly adopt whatever views I have, and get into the beta position of the relationship almost automatically. However, they'll expect you to call the shots on pretty much everything, and they get bored pretty fast if there isn't something exciting going on. Also they talk A LOT.

2) The Girly Bitchy: Those tend to be very feminine too but in a more assertive way. They take the best care of their looks, doll themselves up, and that's been usually what made me stick with them. They'll get into the beta position but not after massive shit-testing and resistance. They get off on being put in their places, and will try to make you jealous and play all types of shitty games... but damn do these bitches look hot. And it's like they make you want to bang them violently. Bitches.

3) The Skanky Hoe: These ones I know I shouldn't stick with them after sex, but I end up having a perverse fascination by them. They tend to be distant and explicitly selfish, and I have to force myself to not give chase and to retain my sprezzatura around them. I feel more like hugging them and giving them love, and I've never been able to put them squarely in the beta position. It's all perverse, but it is what it is.

I guess my point is that it's often hard to let your more rational self do the picking when it comes to relationships. Partly because deep down you know every relation has an expiration date. I'll probably be more picky and cautious when marrying, if I ever do get married. Also I'm 26 so I guess I'll get wiser with age.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jimbo-

Good read. And it'd be great if you made a part 2 wherein you'd give tips for have to tailor oneself for each type of girl (e.g.: for the bookworm, you gotta be this, do this, etc.)

Jotted down. That'd be more or less new installments in the Girl Types series:

Good notes on girls tweaking themselves in relationships. Both partners do this, actually. Even facial expressions trend toward each other as couples spend time together. There's a variety of research that finds couples' faces converge after a few years or so in a relationship (they just look more and more alike).

Re: your three types, you can find nice/smart/educated girls who fit these categories. My girlfriends are usually in your feminine/assertive 'bitchy' category, though I've dated a few pushovers (they don't last long with me though, I get too bored and neglectful). I've also shagged my fair share of your 'skanky hos' with masters's degrees, though I'm careful not to date them no matter how alluring they are. Education doesn't make a girl stop being a wild hookup monster. Sometimes (a lot of times?) it even makes them worse, considering the kind of college life a lot of people have!

Chase

CoochieLiquor's picture

So far as I can tell, Melania Trump is not a gold digger.

Then who is? Read the signs(/benefits) you've posted in your article on gold diggers and she matches almost all of them.

Donald Trump is a big subscriber to the racehorse theory of mate selection, which would suggest he screens for a great deal more than just a pretty face

Gold diggers can be smart and educated plus have other qualities (sociability, femininity etc.). In fact, that tends to raise their value. Didn't you write that high-level gold diggers might be educated, some might even own businesses or publish books or have regular jobs?

She doesn't seem to match the attention whore profile most gold diggers seem to have, either. But you never know.

Have you seen photos (check older ones) of her extravagant lifestyle she is posting on her Twitter account?

Instead they are more transactional relationships, where the woman is trading her beauty for his wealth, and the man is trading his wealth for her beauty.

How is their relationship substantially different? She has/had beauty & youth and he has wealth.

I remember watching an interview with her long time ago where she was asked if she married Donald because he is wealthy. She replied with something like: "Would he have married me if I was not beautiful?"

These relationships tend to be cold and unhappy. Both partners tend to have affairs, from what I've seen.

This seems like you're moving the goal post and putting arbitrary criteria for what classifies a gold digger. "No true gold digger has a decent relationship!". "True gold diggers suffer in cold and unhappy relationships." "True gold diggers can't be faithful." etc.

---

Btw, it seems that a guy named Paolo Zampolli served as a pimp. He would introduce models and actresses to wealthy men either via parties or some business dealings. When Donald Met Melania, Paolo Was There:

Zampolli explained his thinking to CNBC. “The gorgeous ladies,” he said. “They meet the most rich and powerful people of the world, and some of them, they keep this connection.” — The New York Times

Author
Chase Amante's picture

To make your points, you link Melania Trump's Twitter feed (with no evidence of attention whoring, at least so far as I bothered to scroll down, which admittedly wasn't super far)... and an article from the New York Times, which provides no support to your "Melania was a whore and the owner of her modeling agency was her pimp!" claim. No different from the equally preposterous Barack Obama / Larry Sinclair gay Chicago bathhouse scene charges.

So, I think we can safely leave both of these aside.

However, I'll address your other points:

Gold diggers can be smart and educated plus have other qualities (sociability, femininity etc.). In fact, that tends to raise their value. Didn't you write that high-level gold diggers might be educated, some might even own businesses or publish books or have regular jobs?

Correct. It's certainly possible Melania Trump specficially worked to better herself and position herself in the interest of finding a wealthy husband. I don't see a lot of the traditional signs of it, but sometimes it's hard to tell from the outside, and without a closeup view of their relationship it's impossible to be certain.

Which is why I said, in essence, "Doesn't look it to me, but you never know."

How is their relationship substantially different? She has/had beauty & youth and he has wealth.

This is not what a gold digger is. If this is how we define one, a young woman becomes one the moment she marries a wealthy man (since we can safely assume every woman is beautiful to her husband. e.g., Melania Trump is not 'objectively' beautiful; I, for one, am not particularly enamored of Melania Trump's looks, though of course to each his own).

(also, you may be under the assumption that younger women only date older men because they are gold diggers. If so - I am sad [or perhaps happy? Maybe this will open up some new opportunities for you with women] to tell you younger women are attracted to older men for a lot more than just easy meal tickets)

I remember watching an interview with her long time ago where she was asked if she married Donald because he is wealthy. She replied with something like: "Would he have married me if I was not beautiful?"

Confirmation bias. You're interpreting this as admission of her being a gold digger, because you're already convinced she is. Anything that seems to support your belief gets rolled in as support of it; anything that doesn't gets ignored.

Having dated a number of women myself, let me assure you: women say things like this all the time (particularly socially savvy women with big egos). I have at times asked girlfriends, "Would you date me if I was broke and homeless?", largely for fun, and almost always had them scoff when I do and declare, "Of COURSE not!!"

I don't think I've ever had a girlfriend claim she'd stay with me if I was broke, except perhaps once or twice.

Does it mean I date gold diggers? Most of my girlfriends have made as much or more money than I made at the time I met them. Some of these same girlfriends who've claimed they would never date me if I was broke, have in fact continued to date me during times when I was broke.

One other thing to keep in mind with Melania Trump: for an older man, as I discussed in the article I linked to, wealth is a sign of a high caliber mate (much as ambition is in younger men). In many of these cases (and I am inclined to suspect in Melania's), the woman is not after wealth itself (although it's certainly a nice bonus); rather, she uses wealth as an indicator of the man's mate quality.

Subtle distinction, but very important. A gold digger selects a wealthy man because she wants the wealth, and the man is a necessary evil to get it. A woman who is not a gold digger selects a wealthy man because she wants the man, and the wealth serves as an indicator of his quality.

This seems like you're moving the goal post and putting arbitrary criteria for what classifies a gold digger. "No true gold digger has a decent relationship!". "True gold diggers suffer in cold and unhappy relationships." "True gold diggers can't be faithful." etc.

You've asked me to diagnose a relationship as 'gold digger' or 'not gold digger' without me being able to screen the woman directly, flirt with her, or otherwise be privvy to her hidden motivations or to see how she behaves behind closed doors and under pressure.

I realize you no doubt feel quite confident you've accurately gauged the relationship across the Internet. If so, kudos - you may be better at all this than I am.

I, unfortunately, don't have enough good data on this woman or her relationship with her spouse to make a certain pronouncement - only a speculative one based on what data I see.

Chase

CoochieLiquor's picture

You are being inconsistent in your texts. Let's first figure out what a gold digger is...

Here's a quote from your article:

Likewise, the girl doesn’t necessarily want the guy to buy her a new wardrobe, she just wants to know she’s banging a rich dude. Such girls still want to feel like they’re getting rich men for flings, because for them, the quality of a man is calculated by the number of zeroes in his bank account.

This is the essence of a gold digger. It's not whether a girl wants wealth or a new wardrobe, since many people in general do, so you can't differentiate based on that.

It's more about what someone uses to assess your worth as a mate.

Gold digger is a girl who uses wealth/socioeconomic-status as an indicator of mate quality.

Don't mix scammer girls (who screw people over, mislead or rob for money) with gold diggers (who see wealthy, generous men as high quality mate).

A girl who is NOT a gold digger uses other things as indicator of mate quality - sexual ability, romanticness, looks, intellect etc.

-----

Is Melania a gold digger?

According to you...

One other thing to keep in mind with Melania Trump [...] she uses wealth as an indicator of the man's mate quality

... which is like:

...for them, the quality of a man is calculated by the number of zeroes in his bank account.

Therefore, she is a gold digger.

... and there are plenty of other things that point to the same conclusion.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

CL-

I answered your point in my first comment reply on the gold digger article:

Over-Broad Definitions Kill Meaning

Here it is for you again:

I’ve defined the term here as “a girl who prioritizes a man’s resources over other value he may have to offer.” You’re attempting to expand it to “a girl who values a man’s resources (among other traits)”, which of course catches 99% of the female population, yes.

It also implicitly includes you, I imagine – I dare say if you met a moneyed man, you’d prefer him as a friend over a homeless one.

Here’s the problem with over-broad definitions:

If a girl has any level of interest in a man’s resources, she’s a gold digger.

If a man has any sexual interest in a woman, he’s a sexist.

If an individual notices any differences between races, he’s a racist.

Etc.

The Manosphere is busily doing to itself the same thing feminism and the political correctness brigades did to their selves – undermining what authority they had by shrilly expanding their labels to include everyone, especially regular normal people.

And when a label includes everyone – when everyone is a racist, a sexist, or a gold digger – the label means nothing.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Also their childhood experiences.

Any layout on "type of girl with A B C" = "They look for this in a guy" complete guide?

Just curious, you know those personalities of girls some call "bitches"?
Let's not other people.
But they are girls whose personality are... a bit more... I'm finding a proper word to describe it a personality trait instead of othering... any ideas?

Thanks,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Sure, race and background included.

As to this:

Just curious, you know those personalities of girls some call "bitches"?
Let's not other people.
But they are girls whose personality are... a bit more... I'm finding a proper word to describe it a personality trait instead of othering... any ideas?

I think the term you're looking for might be "IDGAF, Female Edition."

Chase

Lorenzo Phoenix's picture

So Chase, it's ironic that you mention Indian men trying to get bombshell blondes because I'm a white man trying to land bombshell Indians. Meaning: I've dated quite a few Indian women but they've mostly been in their 30s and started pushing hard for marriage and children after a few months. Now I'm going for women in their 20s who are more attractive and hopefully less pushy about jumping into lifelong commitments. I'm 34 myself, so I've read and appreciated your posts on dating younger women.

My main challenge with these women is finding them but I see them enough on dating apps and find I have a hard time matching with them. Maybe I need to try the generalist route on that though because perhaps there's something I'm doing wrong that is throwing me off with bombshell women in general. I just honestly have trouble even feeling attraction for women who aren't Indian. Don't know why.

So my question is: any specific advice for white men trying to date Indian women? Any guys you know who specialize like the Indian guys you mention who specialize in bombshell blondes? I can't exactly immerse myself into the culture and try to be part of the Indian social network because I don't have an Indian family. And I don't think surrounding myself with Indian guys is going to help me because, frankly, they seem to have as much or more trouble attracting these women than I do. I'm open to being wrong about that, though.

Peace.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lorenzo-

I've dated (short term) a few early 20s Indian girls. Had no problem getting them. The problem for me has always been finding them... Attractive ones (at least in the U.S.) are rare. Tons of chubby / ugly Indian girls, but the slim hot ones are really hard to find.

Case in point: Atlanta has Indians all over the place. But they're all short, round, and unattractive. The slim, attractive ones I've dated have been in random locations that don't have many Indians in them, so mostly pure chance meeting them there.

Aside from me, I don't know any guys who've dated Indian girls specifcially. They're just too rare to specialize in. And many of the transplants to the U.S. from India are already married. Can't really give much advice other than to say if you're into Indian chicks, maybe a trip (or relocation) to Mumbai or Delhi might be in order.

If you're somewhere with an abundance of younger, unattached Indian girls, then my advice would be flirt with them, ask them out, and once you start to get dates with them and get to know them you ought to figure out what they like / what they're looking for, and be able to tailor yourself more to this and pick up steam as you go.

Chase

Lorenzo Phoenix's picture

Interesting. Your observations fit precisely to my own.

What baffled me, however, was that somehow I kept having these young Indian women popping up on my dating apps. Which had me thinking, as someone who works downtown and had seen what you've seen: "just where the hell are they?".

Then I went to a coffee shop and saw some Indian girls who distinctly had the appearance of college students. And I searched to find: sure enough, completely to my surprise, there are three universities located in the city I've been in for 5 years. I had no idea.

I discreetly went to visit one of the university libraries at one of these campuses only to find a vast, hidden community of minority college women. Visiting the website, I found that these universities specialize in recruiting and attracting non-whites. Walking around the campus and the library, I saw seven different brown women giving me the eyes who I could have easily opened.

So I consider myself very fortunate. I have found my Mecca. And without having to move to India. College was the key.

Panoon's picture

Attractive Indian women will give a white guy with tight fundamentals a chance, if you can't get hot Indian girls, maybe your fundamentals aren't tight enough.

The problem is, blonde bombshells (especially the All American kind) won't really give an Indian guy with tight fundamentals a chance.

Just look around, you see cute Indian girls with white guys in big cities but you don't really see Indian guys with cute white girls all that much.

In my opinion, a white guy with tight fundamentals can get any kind of women, especially ethnic women. A brown guy with tight fundamentals will be able to pull ethnic women and even some hippie/geeky white women that are cute but will have a struggle with blonde bombshells because of his race alone.

The fact is, of all races, attractive white women are the pickiest about a man's race. Reason for that being that American society as a whole hates it when a Brooklyn Decker lookalike goes for a brown guy, even more so than they hate gay couples and obviously more than when a white guy gets with a Frieda Pinto lookalike.

Lorenzo Phoenix's picture

While, like a short man vs a taller man, I do have a demonstrable statistical advantage, as demonstrated by the popular OK Cupid research, it is not tantamount to a make-or-break advantage.

I understand the feeling of struggle because it is universal for all men. I gave into a victim mentality for a long time because I assumed Indian women would only want Indian men. I didn't know many yet, so I hadn't yet seen how false this was.

It would be a shame for you to miss out on all the Brooklyn Decker lookalikes you could land if you resist giving into the same type of mentality. Like all of us, there is almost certainly more you can do to increase your chances, regardless of what societal narratives you think hold you back from getting who you want.

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