Why do cities and venues grow stale? It gets harder to meet new
women as you settle into a place because of changes in how you approach
them.
In the comment section of my article on beating learned helplessness, a reader writes:
“While I have long ago achieved general abundance with women in my country, the women I really want seem still elusive. I breath action in and out, I take risks like no one in my circle, I truly believe it is my responsibility to materialise my goals, and yet my dream women seem to remain out of reach.
To do something about it, I traveled abroad to Poland last week (I will write a detailed FR in the forum with my conclusions).
With only 12 approaches in 3 days, I almost had sex with a 19-year old model-type brunette whom I approached under broad daylight in a shopping mall. The girl was extremely close to my dream girl.
Why do you think I didn’t get that close to my goals in my own city, but went so close with only 3 days abroad, in Eastern Europe? Is it some kind of placebo effect or are there real obstacles, in your opinion? If the obstacles are real, how can I overcome them?”
His comment called to mind a phenomenon I’ve often noticed, and seen
in other men I know as well: that
after a while, places like cities and venues turn stale.
Stale as hunting grounds for new mates. Stale as places to meet girls.
You’ve doubtless seen this yourself. That new bar you discovered that you were excited to go to... But now, after months or years of going there, the excitement has worn off and it’s just some joint.
Or that new city you got to, that was so fresh and full of beautiful
women and new conquests when you arrived. Now it seems like the women
just keep getting fatter, older, and uglier, and all the hot girls have
gone. I call this ‘old city blinders’.
The good news is, if you’ve noticed this, you’re not the only one it happens to. It’s common.
And the better news is, there’s a way around it. For the most part,
anyway.
Comments
Boyfriend
Hey Chase,
Excellent advice!
One of the things that catches my attention is how many girls are in the streets of downtown.
It feels like a limitless venue as one of another girl always walk pass.
Question is, is it a good venue for girls?
I've tried and many times it still feels endless.
Sure some days go boring, but other days, where even eating at a restaurant, and the waitress is already ready to close (number close).
Re: Boyfriend answer
When their bf comes up, either at the number exchange or during, and you follow up with "asking how serious they are" according to your bf article, what do you say after they reply?
The article says keep talking after you acknowledge it "Ah, cool".
Most usually tell me how long they've been together when I ask them.
"We've been together for six months/one month/ 8 years"
I usually say cool, then say let's grab a bite anyway if it's a number exchange.
But I'm sure was temted to say "oh only one month? Psh, let's grab a bite" which puts me right into boyfriend candidate.
Thoughts?
Lawliet
How Long
Lawliet-
Of course, streets are fantastic for meeting girls. Downtown is great for this, most cities.
Yes, just tell her, "Ah, cool. Well, let's grab a bite or a drink anyway."
If you want to do a little extra work to weed out the time-wasters and head off any future objections in advance, you can tell her, "Ah, cool. Well I think I can still get you alone kissing me and undressing me somewhere. Let's grab a bite or a drink, anyway. What's the best way to get in contact with you?"
I would stay away from "only one month" or "only one year" or anything like that, not even necessarily because you're competing for the boyfriend role, but because it minimizes the relationship. You may say, "Only one month," but to her, time doesn't matter. Feelings matter. If he's made her feel like it's the best one month of her life, you minimizing it makes you look out of touch.
If you want to minimize their time together without looking out of touch, you can say, "And has this man proposed to you yet?" and when she says no, you can say, "So then he has not actually claimed you yet. If you were my girlfriend, I would never wait as long as this man has. I know immediately if I want a woman forever or if I don't. Let's you and me have a drink this week."
Chase
Too Small city
Hi chase,
I m from a 300 000 citizens city. For one year i ve been playing a very good game (18 lays ) 16 of whom through street stops.
While i think that one can and should strive to still get laid here i think moving to a different, But most of all BIGGER city would really add a challenge to my game.
On average, for every hour that i walk i see one girl that i consider cute. ( not ok enough to fuck - cute ). My feeling is that in the same hour, a bigger city would provide 3 cute girls and 8 ok to fuck in a walking hour.
Plus, the novelty feeling attached to It , but i don t care about that
My take is " had i been in a million citizens city last year, my lays number would have been definetly higher.
Do u aree ?
Small City to Big City: Pros and Cons
No Limits-
It is true, that as you move to larger cities, you get a higher frequency of attractive women.
You also get more high tier women, since the most beautiful and sexiest girls tend to migrate to the biggest cities.
However, the largest cities are also where the most attractive, powerful, successful men migrate to, too. And the largest cities tend to have all of more aggressive men, higher crime rates, and faster paces of life, which means women tend to be more defensive, with higher walls, and have more tightly scripted schedules they're hewing to.
So, I would say - your potential to rack up more lays in a bigger city is definitely higher. You can absolutely do more total volume in a bigger city than in a smaller one. You'll usually sleep with hotter and more beautiful girls, as well.
However, if you're doing great in your current town, just recognize you're a big fish in a small pond who's thinking about leaping to a bigger pond, with bigger fish. You may make a splash right away, but odds are you'll need to spend a little while adapting to the scene (and figuring out how to compete against all the more-competitive men there) before you're seeing a decent number of lays / good quality in those lays.
Chase
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