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Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or
pick
them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.
In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.
There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:
- Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
- Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
- Teaching
- Fatherhood
- Cold approach pickup
None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.
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The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.
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The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.
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The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.
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The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.
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The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.
However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.
That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.
Comments
chase you have grown
chase you have grown inmensily as a writer! i really admire you keep going!
Agreed. When I read some of
Agreed. When I read some of his earlier work I cringe at some of his suggestions/behaviors (to the point that I think they should be removed, if business isn't the driving motive behind article availability) . Even though there are some newer things I still find a little goofy, the overall picture does seem to be improving. Chase is maturing (so am I).
Hey Chase, you have a great
Hey Chase, you have a great way of teaching here at Girlschase.com. but i have come to realise that us men should also put our needs snd wants first.let me explain, we should be comfortable being alone. That is why many men fear being rejected becsuse they put women as the end snd cure of their insecurities. As soon as the said man has worked on his insecurities, then the rest should work out. My friend read a book the other day about insecurities and it totally changed his life. Maybe you can write a book on insecurities and how to not be a nice guy(in more detail). I am willing to buy such a book an I hope some readers here do too. This is just my opinion.
Insecurities
Moses-
Yeah. More generally, I suggest men have a mission they've focused themselves on:
If you have a mission, it immediately declutters life, by making everything you encounter either helpful to your mission, a distraction/diversion, or harmful to your mission. The world gets clearer.
Insecurities are generally another way of labeling low confidence / lack of certainty. I do have a bunch of articles on the subject already... However, we're also in the process of turning articles of mine into books, and adding in new content to boot. So maybe this is another one we can include in that process. Here are some to tide you over for now:
Chase
How do you become a man?
How do you become a man?
You become a man by doing one of those five things or more?
What Makes a Man
SZ-
Well, the definition differs somewhat by society, subculture, and even the individual you're asking for requirements, but those five things are almost always at the center of it.
So, by and large... yes, that's right.
Chase
Incompetence
Hey Chase,
How do I save face when forced to do something I'm not entirely comfortable or good at? This includes a vast variety of skills: dancing/singing in front of a crowd, playing various kinds of sports, certain tests of knowledge (not in my area of expertise)...
I recognize that some of these skills are pretty useful and I could invest time in these for next time, but my point is is that situations will always arise that will make me look like an idiot. If I'm sucking at something, how do I retain my masculinity?
Re: Incompetence
R.S.-
Be a good student. The man who's a focused student does not look weak even as he fails.
Check out the training sequences in The Mask of Zorro, The Count of Monte Cristo, or Rocky. Even as these men submit to the instruction of their teachers or coaches, and even as they screw up, because they are focused and keep at it they never look weak.
Adopt this same kind of focus - and you can be playful about it, and laugh at your mistakes too, you don't have to be super serious - but get focused on improvement, and the skilled will respect you, because they'll see their old selves in you. And when the skilled there respect you, everyone else, even if they aren't as good at gauging talent directly, will take the cue from them and view you well.
Chase
Thank you
Chase, another great article to serve as a beacon in the darkness for men willing to learn and grow. Thank you.
Few Questions
Sup Chase, Thanks for the advice, you give great information.
I had a few quick questions:
1. I know you said that a few things I said were no missions, I really have no type of missions I guess, but I'd like to have an idea of what I could do incase I do want to have a mission. Could you give me any ideas on realistic missions?
2. I made a mistake with my question on getting with super ambitious girls. I did mean to include them, but I meant more with girls that have better jobs than you at the moment. How would you display a mission or ambition with them from where I'm at now?
also, how do you keep your mission and jobs away from the girls? this would be great while I work on getting a career.
( I'm currently working hard on myself and have taken many roads, which is why I am late with getting my career going, most of the girls my age have a career, so what can I do to still get them while I'm still trying to get my career going?)
3. I noticed that you said I'm not on the level, nor have the confidence of having sex with other girls while in a relationship.
I'm asking more out of curiosity.
A. When you said level, is that a very high level of this? or more of an intermediate? when will I know I am at the level you speak of?
B. With confidence, do you mean personally or with my skills with women? both? how can I get better with confidence?
C. What guys are the girls talking about when they mention they want to get cheated on? are they just talking about guys with a good body, money, or just skills level, or something else?
4. I read a comment that you said the real naturals have around 200-300 lays, wow. How the hell did they get that many? would they have been on a team or something? I ask because I don't even have people who lie about numbers say 200-300, so if that's true for real naturals I would really like to know.
5. Is it possible for me to get to 200-300 lays from where I'm at? meaning age, trying to get a career, trying to find my mission?
Should I feel less if I don't reach 100? I know that shouldn't define me, but it does in a way.
Thanks Chase
Selecting a Mission, Levels, & Naturals
SZ-
A mission is any ambitious goal with a concrete end point. Anything from "Build a business that brings in $20K profit / month" to "Sleep with 50 girls" to "Be the first man on Venus." If it feels like it's just on the edge of achievability to you, no matter how large or how small to someone else, but you believe you can get there, and it has a clear "Mission Accomplished" mark where you will know you have achieved it, it is a mission. Ideally, you have a series of missions, so you avoid the "stumbling around in the dark" period where you figure out what comes next after you've achieved one mission or the other.
If you aren't high in achievement (and even when you are), you display mission orientation through vibe. If you are focused on achieving a mission, it's visible. This is not something you can fake. Even a man with exceptional fundamentals, if he has no mission, will seem attractive but uninspired. So if you legitimately have a mission, it'll shine through. If you don't, and you want this effect, then go get a mission, because there is no shortcut.
As for levels - you'll know when you're at a level. If you don't feel like you're at it, you're not at it. If you don't even know what it feels like or how you'd even recognize it, you're not even close to it (yet). I won't go anymore into detail on the topic since a.) as I've told you, repeatedly, I don't teach it, and b.) you're asking how trigonometry works when you haven't learned multiplication yet.
Guys getting 200 to 300 lays, it's very possible, and it isn't hard. If a guy is only taking one new girl every 3 weeks on average, he can reach 200 lays in 11.5 years. Your average natural starts getting laid somewhere between 13 and 17 years old, and getting laid becomes his hobby, passion, sport, and key point of pride and core aspect of his identity. I have a lot of natural friends who passed the 100 lay mark while they were in college. Usually they slow down a bit after university, when they're no longer immersed in an abundance of nubile women, but sometimes they pick jobs that give them access to women and they speed up. Often by the time they reach their 30s they've grown tired of casual sex and their lay-rate slows way down, but they still accumulate usually a few new lays a year at least throughout the next few decades of their lives.
You getting 200 or 300 lays - we've already talked about that before. See previous comment replies of mine. You feeling less of a man for not reaching 100 - ditto, already talked about it. See previous replies.
Chase
Forgot to add
I forgot to add Chase,
with the girls on Twitter talking about wanting their boyfriends to cheat on them, I am a little confused with your "level" response.
From what I take from what you said, you are saying they would want a guy to cheat on them, but he would have to be like a Brad Pitt type guy, am I right?
but the way the girls make it sound, they make it sound like the guy is not the Brad Pitt type or the level you speak of, he just happens to be a good guy, and they want him to stop being good and go cheat and flirt with women, so they know women are attracted to him, am I right?
The way the girls make their boyfriends sound are like they are not on the level you speak of, but they want their boyfriends to cheat and attract.
If Thier boyfriends were the level or Brad Pitt type and he didn't cheat, they wouldn't say that. They're saying that because they think that he is lame because he isn't going around sleeping with many girls.
The jist of what I'm saying is that, they want their boyfriend to cheat and sleep with girls, so they know they are with a guy who is on a high level, they pretty much think he's a low level for not sleeping with other girls.
but from what I think you're saying, you're saying that the guy would have to be a high level to do it without hurting them.
unless that's just those type of girls I guess?
Could you explain this to me?
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