Do Women REALLY Like Being Treated Like 'Equals'? | Girls Chase

Do Women REALLY Like Being Treated Like 'Equals'?

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Colt Williams's picture

A little while back, Chase wrote a fantastic article on competition between men and women in the 21st Century. If you haven’t read it, read it here: "Conflict Between Men and Women in the 21st Century."

In this article, I’m going to expand on Chase’s foundation and look deeply into whether or not women actually want to be treated like equals by men. There has been much talk in our ever-changing society about gender equality, so most men assume that being treated equally in every respect is exactly what women are looking for.

women as equals

But is that actually the case? Let’s dive in…

Comments

annonymous 's picture

SORRY FOR BAD WRITING..
I loved the article .. brilliant as always.
And the website is amazing and addictive.. but there is one thing..
The search bar doesn't take where you need to go.. you search different words and you get the same results.. i suggest you add SEARCH BY TOPIC NAME .. not just by TOPIC CONTENT &.TAGS & BY WRITER'S NAME..
Once again thanks for the amaizing articles..

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Anon,

Thanks for the heads up. And I've noticed that as well. I'll pass the tip along to the powers that be.

-Colt

Anonymous's picture

Good stuff Chase, but ive found that your idea or how sex drive changes with age is incorrect!! JUst ONE example of many!! My last girl[48], had the biggest sex drive ive ever come across in a non nympho!! She got hot ANYTIME, anywhere, and went off much more than any 30 year old ive had:/ Scream the house down, and be shaking and unable to move for minutes!! Not knocking it,lol..So EASY too:) Ive had post menopausal women, nearly as good! I think it comes down to the individual, with maybe as a generelization that it lowers a bit , or a lot with age. Find the rift one, she puts a 25 year old to shame:).....zacc...PS, spose i should say, shes the best looking 48 year old ive ever seen, looks decades younger..spanish, must be genetic:/

Alcaeus's picture

Honest read Colt,

Like your friend mentioned, many girls have been misguided in how they should act to get what they want on a romantic level. I speculate that there might be a link between this misguided independence and an upward trend in the amount of cluster B women. It's because of the way they put up all this resistance and then vehemently hate the world when the man leaves because she was competing for power in the relationship.

No man likes to wear the skirt in a relationship. And if the girl doesn't get bored of him and leave from his nice guy like behavior, the man usually leaves out of a sense of awkwardness and pressure from his friends who tell him he is in an unhealthy relationship if he is fortunate to have friends like that.

Yes Colt, it is a sad epidemic and I feel it has a few more years, if not a couple decades before the majority of women begin to align themselves with their biological wiring, but until then, the amount of nice guys will continue to rise.

The select few men, who have stumbled upon resources and reference points of dominance are definitely in a market of their own. I want to say that dominance and confidence in the social arena are like your bones and muscles when it comes to girls in the States. A girl I met at a social function was so heavily awarded with accolades that I was initially intimidated by her, but after accepting the challenge, running some tight game with purely fundamentals and a couple solid chase frames I had her melting for me. The other guys who she spoke to at the event were shaking in their boots as she spoke down to them with me on the sideline looking in through a looking glass at the social dynamic. It was very enlightening.

That just goes to show that these girls only let a select few men take on the responsibility of attending to her innate needs that you mentioned a few of in the last paragraph. While these unfortunate other men are relegated to another less than ideal fate in her mind.

Thanks for another mindset post, Colt

Definitely helped organize thoughts I had fiddled with around in my head.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Alcaeus,

There were definitely some poignant thoughts in your comment, I really appreciate you sharing them. Men definitely want to align themselves with the way things should be. And even women want to as well. It's strange to think about who actually dictates social trends, but I feel that the majority of people don't actually want to follow them. But I'm glad that you were able to have an important moment of clarity.

All the best,

Colt

Furry Wall's picture

Colt,
This article got me thinking, why is it so important for women to tell you about how she wants a nice guy when in reality she wants a dominant male. There has to be women out there that don't mind telling the truth. Plus why is it it's always stated on this site not to follow societies dating advice. Why is society so dead set at giving the wrong advice when the complete opposite is true ? There have to be women out there looking for a nice guy.

I can tell you from personal experience being a supplicating nice guy backfired on me many times so I stopped being one. Yet when I tried to be the opposite it led simply to nothing, where women did not attempt to use me but also did not become more interested either. So I am kinda in neutral now, women don't use me but also do not show more interest either.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Furry,

When women say they want a "nice guy" they don't actually mean a nice guy in the way that men think about nice guys. They want a strong man who will also treat them well.

And did you actually try to push the envelope when you tried to interact with these girls? You can't *only* just be confident, you also have to make things happen. Read Chase's post on being an asshole if you haven't: http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-asshole-%E2%80%93-and-become-ad...

Cheers,

-Colt

dcl's picture

Wonderful writing Colt, thanks.
I have read other articles that are sort of similar to this one.
There may be a shift in gender equality in the coming decade, in terms of men's and women's values and what the really want.
Thanks again, Cheers.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Devo,

I think there will definitely be a culture shift that comes about. It will be interesting to see where things head. Cheers for your comment!

-Colt

Carpe_DM's picture

I agree and I disagree. I do think that's generally how women want to be treated, but in the modern world I also want my woman to be more of an equal partner than a homemaker. By having a woman who's financially successful, a vast array of lifestyle opportunities becomes available...travel...adventure...risk-taking...retiring young.

It just doesn't sound appealing to me to have her at home raising kids and making dinner while I have to provide all the resources for 3+ people. Maybe I'm different in having never really been all that interested in kids though.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Carpe,

I agree with you. I think that the idea of a "traditional" wife isn't for all men. I think that a woman should fit any role that you want her fit in. My only issue is when women start to act like men and lose their femininity because they feel that they are forced to. But good points and I'm definitely right there with you!

-Colt

Anonymous's picture

Hello, Colt
What about being "same"? Like that "we have so much in common" things. From my point of view I would like to have a girl that likes to exercise and keep herself in shape. Positive attitude towards any physical activity. Does it work for girls too? I mean we hear that line everywhere.

blogster's picture

Although unfortunately it makes true commitment difficult in this current environment even if you would like it. In the meta-environment, divorce and custody laws are clearly on women's side, the media is very pro-female and PC and men are fearful of acting in anyway in public situations lest they be accused of being 'sexist' or 'misogynist'.

In short, it is great for being in the 'lover' category Chase advocates, but not for the bigger picture of society. Sad.

anonymous's picture

i found that this article very informative. I just wanted to mention a couple points to think about as well.
Women feel the need to separate themselves from men because they feel afraid and intimidated. For example, cat calling, rape (I understand this happens to men as well, but women are the majority in that sense) and other things being treated as normalcy.
One of my coworkers, was harassed by another man in the firm, and when she confronted our boss, he told her to just deal with it, as there was no way it could be avoided.
It eventually drove her to pursue a different job in another firm. Women are afraid of men, and really enjoy having a male who listens to them, rather than fear what they will do or say. My coworker's harassment could have been avoided, but because it was 'normal', no one did anything.
so, always, ALWAYS as you said, respect women. Don't be like that d-bag i mentioned.

LadyRaptor's picture

While I enjoyed your article, I think that maybe everyone is overcomplicating some parts of these issues and glossing over those parts that really need more nuance and credentials to understand (i.e. physiology).

First off, as a dominant woman, you're right. A supplicating simpering man does nothing for me. YAWN... Boring.

That being said, finding a man that is remotely an equal to myself throughout the course and scope of my career and personal life has been more than challenging and usually ended up frustrating, at best.

Some myths that I saw in your article are:

1. Women's libido decreases in their forties. This is a complicated issue. Speaking from personal experience, when I'm in a constant push and pull with my husband (and he's not taking us anywhere in life that any of us, including himself, wanted to be), I'm dealing with the bulk of the duties surrounding raising our children, I've built and continue to build a business from my home that averages more than 7 times my husband's income per year (he is making roughly $250/year), and I've got the same BS sex every night... Uhhh, yeah... I pushed away from the table. I pushed away from the table a LOT.

At the beginning of this year my husband and I separated for four months and I found myself again.

We were still together all the time. I didn't go out with other men (not that I wasn't asked), but I found myself. That person that got lost. That person that my husband thought he needed to change and I, stupidly, accommodated.

I made the changes. He liked this new world better than the one he created. He asked to come back. He came back on my terms.

We were more open about our sexual wants and have sex more than we ever did.

We are considering having outside partners in the bedroom.

I am absolutely the dominant one when it comes to this area of our life.

When things were boring, I had NO desire to have sex. It was a dead-end.

What I've learned from our time apart was that, the more pleasure I got from having sex (i.e. the female big "O"), the more I wanted to have sex. (It's a hormonal thing...)

So, if you're finding yourself in a marriage where the sex is becoming more and more infrequent... Take a look and see if it has become routine. Even if it is a freaky routine, doing the same thing night after night after night after night can become more than mundane.

Mix it up and live a little...

2. You have much discussion about biology in your narrative.

If you read any of Dawkin's work, you will find that our genetic predisposition is at odds with itself.

On the one hand, you are naturally drawn to strong genes to add to your own gene pool, and therefore, guarantee your genetic success in generations to come, BUT, a dominant woman (I believe you dubbed these women as "competition") do not offer the man's progeny a traditional maternal cushion with which to be raised. (Possibly sullying the generations' ability to become adults.)

This is a particularly vexing issue for both genders. (One that I, myself, had to deal with and started my company from my home because I couldn't be there for my kids, work around the world 3 weeks a month, and I was sick of having our 3 nannies know more about my babies than I did.)

The worst part in all of this for a man is this: a STRONG and FIERCE woman offers the best pairing of genetic traits for your offspring.

And there's the rub.

Are these Amazon women competition? Or are the men that fancy themselves as the competition afraid that they will lose? Did it occur to either of them that they aren't there to compete, but to be on the same team?? Each party can be just as viable as the other, without doing the other's job?

These are just some thoughts that I must now leave on the table and get back to work.

Men... Women don't bite, unless you get lucky. ;)

bongstar420's picture

It isn't about what "women" want. It is about individual people want. When we do this grouping stuff, it really is only there to help us cut through the chaff at maximal efficiency. The reality is that isn't even the maximal efficiency because this stuff is all designed to work around insecurities. Attaining the maximum efficiency of mate matching is accomplished with upfront, open, honest, and direct communication with each other without ulterior motives. Each person has to accept a learning curve and a evolving life. Honesty with our selves is also another thing of high import...and I say this as "Just Sex" all the way to "Everything Forever"

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