Tactics Tuesday: Pace Her Reality (& Guide Her Emotions) | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesday: Pace Her Reality (& Guide Her Emotions)

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.

pace her reality

Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.

First the other friend jumps in.

Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.

You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.

You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.

The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.

Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”

“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”

Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.

Them’s the shakes, right?

Could it have gone any differently?

It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.

Comments

Raghav's picture

Hello Chase fantastic article as usual. I had a question about pacing her reality in the context of a sex in a relationship. I hate to ask, but would you consider writing an article on sex in relationships and their decline and perceived obligations. My girlfriend currently is having chore sex with me and just starfishes and I wonder what the causes are I don't seem to able to emotionally relate during sex like she looks to the side and is in her own world. Is this because we are not on the same reality. How do I improve our sex life and connect with her??

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Raghav-

I will add it to the list.

For now though, I'd suggest you look at the two likeliest causes:

  1. Your sexual performance, and
  2. How much dominance, intrigue, and excitement you create

First one, check out these articles for help:

Second one's a bit more nuanced. It may be that you've let your dominance, intrigue, or excitement slip too far and now she's bored. However it can also be that she's pressed for progress for too long in the relationship, nothing's happened, and she's become disillusioned.

To diagnose, just ask yourself if she spent a lot of time trying to get more out of you, failing, then gave up. If so, it's that; if not, it's boredom.

Check these articles out for help on both possibilities:

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for writing an article for it.
I read comments about it, but glad to have an extensive account.
Shows how fluid seduction is, changing on the situation as opposed to lines.
How opening depends on her reality also (playful during parties for example).

In the tired example or bad mood examples, to what extent do we mirror it that's pacing enough to be on her side before we stop and change to something better? Since emotions can get associated to the person she's with.

Re: Creepy vibe
I recently seen a video of a video game. The character is super creepy but I can't put my finger on it. One of the comments say it's his lowly and slow voice (I thought that's sexy!)

Anyway, it was very interesting how he's not wearing a mask or so, but his nonverbal and his voice already gives off a creepy vibe. (Verbal is creepy, but meeting him already creeps me out!)

If you have a few minutes, take a look and a hear at the guy. Would like to hear what you think :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aifIPkQG18w
The guy appears at 3:09. You can skip to save time.

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

How much you mirror depends on whether she blames you for her tiredness / bad mood. If she doesn’t blame you, you can mirror less. If she blames you, you have to mirror more. If you don’t pace her enough, she’ll feel like you’re trying to distract her from her emotions (which you are!).

Chase

Anon dude's picture

yo chase, love your stuff dude. Got a question for ya, if she assumes something, how do we reply nonreactive but not accepting her frame? like I comment how my manager isn't happy today and she told me not to worry, it's not about me. Wtf yo.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon Dude-

Use these and you're golden:

Chase

SZ's picture

1.what should I do in this scenario chase, there are times where I am the odd man out of my group when I go to the club. what I mean is either there are girls that go for my friends for whatever reason and they don't go to me because I'm not a certain type or whatever and I'm just the odd man out, what should I do in this situation? should I walk away, not pay attention? I'm tired of being the odd man out, but I feel it is more of a certain type of thing by what the girls say to my friends.
I usually just stand there and don't say anything and look at my phone.

2.what do I do while I'm in a club? how do you even talk to girls in the club to make them want to meet up or sleep with you that night? I can't really talk because of all the damn music. How should I get girls from clubs and get them wanting to meet me afterwards?

3. in your article about being the alpha provider, you said you dated many girls with great careers and money and make it not seem like a problem, unless you're very rich. but in that article is that directed towards marriage or relationships?

4.what are the best places to live for men to meet attractive women? I know you said cali sucks

5. last question, I hear a lot of girls talk down on older guys in their late 30s 40s who are single and dating younger girls. do they really mean that? or are they just talking shit

thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

If girls go for your friends and there's no one for you, hang back for a while, survey the scene, check your phone, etc. If it looks like your friends have settled into good conversations with the girls, peel off and go meet girls on your own.

Meeting girls in clubs, see this:

In my alpha provider article, I said you cannot be the alpha provider if you are dating girls who make or have significantly more money than you are. You're simply not a provider if she's the one who provides. I like girls with money or good careers personally, but I don't care about being a provider, at least not initially.

Best places to leave to meet attractive girls, see this article:

... and I didn't say California sucks, I said it's harder (than many other places in the Union). Big difference.

On your age question, see this article:

Chase

SZ's picture

also what if the girl comes from a family with money or somehow has a lot of money from whatever besides a job. would that still make a man not an alpha provider

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