How to Figure Out Your Standards for Hookups and Flings | Girls Chase

How to Figure Out Your Standards for Hookups and Flings

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Alek Rolstad's picture

Today I will just discuss something that I have been thinking about a lot lately – namely, your hookup standards. By standards I am referring to the different elements or traits in a woman that you enjoy, making you willing to pursue her.

hookup standards

Standards are very personal, meaning that there is a subjective element to them. Remember that at the end of the day, you decide which women you want to put effort into.

This post will just be a reflection over standards and not make any claims about what is right or wrong, but rather what choices will give you the most success in the long run. It is the practical element that I am about to discuss.

The perspective of this post is to discuss how one can either:

Anyway, let us get on with it.

Comments

BBoy100's picture

Alek,

I have a question regarding the types of personality traits we should look for in fwbs and one-night stands? More specifically, what are some things we should avoid? I've passed up several opportunities to sleep with very hot girls because I thought they're "crazy" based on some of the things they said/did. I believe that getting involved with them would have brought a lot of potential for drama or worse.

But I'm basing this on intuition and common sense, not so much on experience. I haven't yet slept with enough girls to know which ones are "too crazy", so I very well might have been wrong about them. Would kind of signs or qualities would be red flags to you?

Anonym's picture

Hi Alek,

an interesting article. I would like to ask you one thing I struggle with a little. I am inexperienced with women and I have a lot of inhibitions and also probably lower sex drive than most of men.
Because of my lower sex drive there are not many women I am really attracted to, some women I find unattractive and most of women I find more or less average. If I am not atttracted to a girl I am not really motivated to approach her because I do not really care about her - she is just one of the crowd. If I wait for being attracted it would restrict my options a lot, but I need relatively high level attraction to get motivation to try to overcome my inhibitions (otherwise it is tempting to say it is not worth the effort). After all, what woman wants to be approached by a man who is not attracted to her or finds her only doable but not attractive (I find it insencere and kind of unfair to her)?

Do you have some advice?

Thank you

Anonym

P.S. I do not think that it is a venue problem, since I work at a university where there are a lot of female students and the university is located in historical centre of a big city with lots of tourists.

Lawliet's picture

Hey Alek,

Great article mate!
For standards, I do notice that yes, a girl is cute, will I go for it, yes

But despite of having low standards (if the girl isn't fat, I'm good. If she is a little fat but cute, that works too), I notice how I'm more aroused at some girls than others.

I guess the body doesn't lower standards, but I consciously have lower standards.

One thing that I can't control is the passion.

With girls who don't give me a boner, I just go meh, let's talk anyway.
However, I have a no bollicks acceptance attitude (not always, but more often than those who give me boners) with these.
"Huh, She isn't responding well to my opener? Stay there and see if I can game? Nope, moving on."

For girls who do, more aroused body gives me more passion, and excitement, a double edged sword - great if I can handle it and stay in to see what happens, but makes me worse and clumsy when I cannot.
Tips on this?

Re: Situational standards
Now, you talked about standards with women, but what about circumstances?
I'm currently working and I can tell coworkers might like me.
Worse part is, I'm hesistant to make a move because whatever happens can bite me.

Then the following concern comes in two folds:
But what if attraction expires?
And if I do on the side, invite them out, I have to move fast.
Once I do, and hook up, I'll still see them at work!
So how would that work?

Generally, are there situations where you say personally, "I won't hook up with her because of x" and not because of her, but the situation?

Thanks for the past encouragement. I still remember when you said I'll be among the greatest if I don't give up. It's one of the things keeping me going.

I've been busy with college and work lately, so now when I approach, the fear comes back. Grrrr!

Hope all is well with you, Alek!
Lawliet

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