In "Book Excerpts: Get Girls in Bed (Without a Bed)," I mention a number of different places you can escalate to intimacy with women without being in bed at your home or her home, and a few of the details on doing so. However, guys have continued to ask about how exactly to pull this off... which I understand. If you've never taken a girl anywhere other than your bedchambers, taking her on a bench or a back alley somewhere can feel rather daunting.
You may also even wonder that one thing many a man who's never done something yet with a woman will wonder: "Is she even going to go for this?"
Well, if that sounds like you, then fret no more, for this article is all about answering how to handle those outré sex logistics problems: how do you "get her to agree" to "weird" logistics for sex, how do you set the mood, and how do you actually, you know, physically do it?
Comments
Auto pilot
So chase how do you get a girl off auto pilot when you go for the approach?
If you open direct won't you be like every other guy who compliments her? Should I just use indirect?
Autopilot on the Approach
Balla-
Opening is a lot more about your nonverbals / fundamentals than it is about your verbal choice of opener. What you ideally want is that the moment a girl notices you, she thinks, "Wow!" and autopilot is at least jarred, if not snapped off completely.
Anyway, if you're using the style of direct opener we talk about here, you're talking to her slowly and there's some curious conversation before you get to the compliment... by the time you crinkle your nose to tell her what you like about her, she should be hanging onto your words to find out what you have to say and see if she agrees it's a genuine remark.
For more on breaking her out of autopilot on the opener though, also check out the article on pre-opening if you haven't already (or, haven't seen it in a while). That one does a nice job of single-handedly disrupting most girls' autopilots fairly well.
Chase
Logistics in unusual places
Maybe a silly question, but what are effective ways when in unusual places to handle the "clean up" after the act ...
Cleanup
Anon-
I had to stop and think here for a minute. "What cleanup?"
I guess it really comes down to how thorough your cleanup practices are.
On the one hand, there's the guy who's a neat freak and uses extra thick condoms to make sure nothing gets in or out, and carries a bottle of hand sanitizer and wipes with him in his back pocket wherever he goes.
On the other hand, there's guys like Mao Zedong, who, when his doctor told him that he really needed to start washing his genitals, remarked, "I wash my penis in the water of women's vaginas."
If it's your car, you probably want a towel you can throw in the backseat to make sure nothing gets stained if you have felt interiors (although if you have vinyl you can wipe this off pretty easily). Maybe throw some wipes or tissues in the armrest or glove compartment for ready access, too. Condoms, well, I hate telling anyone to litter, but realistically and practically speaking, it's a valid option. If you're worried about the latex's and your sailors' effect on the environment, I suppose you could always take a plastic baggie along with you, throw the used condoms in there, zip it up, and toss it in a waste basket when you go by one later.
Chase
Still crack up laughing with your remark
My gosh Chase you are not only a life guru teaching us straight to the point issues but you are funny as hell. A killer combination imposible to beat. Still crack up laughing for the last 10 minutes with "I wash my penis in the water of women's vaginas.".
You are truly THE MAN WHO ROCKS.
Rico Suave
Guys, please read this article!!!!!
Ok, I think this article needs to be printed out and handed out to every guy on every corner! :) Damn, why can't more guys think this way? Why do they ask if they can kiss you, etc? JUST DO IT!! Just take a woman and don't worry about it. If she is with you flirting, talking, looking interested - just seal the deal - she will be so relieved and will see you as some hero. Guys became so wishy-washy and sort of feminine these days... women want to be dominated every once in a while (or most of the time :)), they just don't show it!
Frustrated woman :)))
Please do a post on overcoming resistance from religious girls
Great post once again - May I request a piece on overcoming resistance from those chaste, religious types?
Resistance from Religious Girls
Anon-
I've had a few requests on this one, actually. I honestly couldn't write this myself - I tend to stay away from VERY inexperienced women (too easy to hurt them, and our expectations are too much of a mismatch), and I've never really been around very religious women - we just don't normally have much to relate on.
But, I do have it on the list already and I'll save your comment there too - I'll keep my eyes out for a future writer who has experience in this area.
Chase
Direct opener vs pedestal
Hey Chase,
I know you teach about direct opener/ compliment etc.
You also talk about not putting girls on a pedestal.
However, when opening direct are you not putting the girl on a pedestal right from the beginning?
Funman
Re: Direct opener vs pedestal
Funman-
Good question.
Guys who place women on pedestals normally aren't able to carry out smooth, confidently spoken, strong openers. Even walking up to a woman and telling her, "You're amazing beautiful. I'm Funman," in a confident voice tone with strong eye contact drips experience and strength to women, and they know you don't pedestalize them because the men for whom they really are a big deal cannot do this.
The man who pedestalizes a woman doesn't tell her in a confident way that she's beautiful. Instead, he says something in a timid voice tone that's more like, "Hi.... you're really pretty. I'm Liam." Even that - if you said it in a silly way that was clearly designed to make fun of unconfident men - would communicate to her that you DON'T think she's anything all that special compared to all the other women she knows you must've talked to to get to the point you can come in that smoothly and confidently.
A man being able to walk up to a woman, make strong eye contact, and then tell her what she is without shaking or trembling in his boots gives her all the communication she needs about whether he has her on a pedestal or not, no matter what his words are.
Chase
Transition to Location
I totally agree. Knowing and planning your logistics ahead of time (how you're going to transition to WHERE you can have sex) is SO important and so many guys just go in blindly just hoping for the best! Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Brian Tracy says that one of the top reasons someone doesn't get rich is that they haven't accepted that they CAN get rich and pursue their goal with the end in mind. The same rule applies to most guys who don't get laid - they haven't accepted that they CAN get laid so they don't pursue the lay with the actual lay in mind!
Not Having a Destination
Great point here, Chief. Most newer guys go out just to talk to girls and try to get them to "like" them... which is fine, for a while, I suppose. Once a guy's built up a base level of ability with women though, and he's comfortable enough meeting them, it's time to up the ante and start picking end points he's targeting for his night... rather than just aimlessly trying to get girls to like him "more."
Chase
Boyfriend...
Hi Chase:
How do I politely tell my boyfriend to study this website like his life depends on it? Would it be wrong to somehow "accidentally" leave this webpage open on this computer? As a male, do you think it would just frustrate him and make him give up?
Help, please!
What To Do
Secretly ask a friend of his to suggest it to him.
getting him going
I can get a man going by texting him how much i want him and what i want to do to him, I tease him in every way possible, while he's working i text "i wish i could walk up right now and unzip your pants and put you into my mouth, or....I want to watch you masturbate while you watch me......a very good turn on.....or.....i want you to be able to watch your cock go in and out of me seeing yourself all wet from my pussy...and i have more.
what about breaking the law?
In the car, in a restroom, if you get caught by the police, how much in trouble are you both?
Not Much
That kind of indecency fetches a small fine at most, if you get charged at all.
Lmao I love this site. There
Lmao I love this site. There's an article on everything. I could probably find here on how to get the most money possible on my tax returns.
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