4 Tension Locks to Use When You Talk to Girls | Girls Chase

4 Tension Locks to Use When You Talk to Girls

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

If you ever watch good verbal movie seductions – like, say, one featuring Sean Connery or George Clooney – you’ll notice there’s often a moment when the male suddenly cuts all the cute stuff, leans in, and says something that locks the tension in and dials it up through the roof.

This is usually the moment of the seduction when you smile to yourself and say, “Wow, he’s good.”

tension lock

Sometimes when one of these men do this, the woman in question is going off on a tangent, or rambling, or even panicking.

And then he just hushes her up, leans in, drops a little word bomb on her, and the tension goes through the roof.

If they’re somewhere private, they may start kissing... then disrobing. If they’re in public, the tension might be thick enough to chop with a meat cleaver (and the man will follow it up either by lightening the mood a bit to avoid cresting emotions too high and causing the spell to break... or by pulling her somewhere private, if it’s an option).

For the sake of discussing this technique more easily, I’m going to call the phrases the male uses ‘tension locks’; there are four (4) of them, they can be really effective, and best of all, you needn’t be a movie star or a master seducer to use them.

You just need to know what they are, and when to put them into play.

Comments

Hamza's picture

I think this is an amazing technique for situations where things are gonna end Happens to me every now again and I look forward to using it. Thanks!

Anonymous's picture

It's so difficult to admit that a man is so much responsible for his own success in anything, and life won't bring it just naturally. Stuff you write about here seems legit once you read it, but before you know it, it's just hard guessing whether your game will get rejected again or will it flow with ease. This truth can be taken as advantage that you have control over it, but it's not that easy... We have to overcome loads of emotions to get anywhere... And even then we are not that special.
Another terrible truth is that once you internalize most of this stuff, is that with particular girls who are into me, it gets just boring, because "I have her" just like for girls who don't find it a challenge anymore... Isn't it possible to have relationship where both sides are normal, not cluster B or anything, and both feel passioned about each other dramatically?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Well, dramatic passion is a result of surprise or large amounts of uncertainty. It isn't a 'sustainable' emotion, so it won't be there without tumult to generate it.

This tumult can come from the girl's own personality quirks (e.g., crazy girls / cluster B), it can come from your personality quirks (e.g., you're a difficult person to date for whatever reason), or it can come from things in the environment, like you both have to move around a lot because of your job or some new person pops into one of your lives and threatens to steal one of you away from the other, introducing uncertainty and competitive feelings and passion again. Or if you fight a lot, this can stir up tumult too.

You can find ways to generate 'good' tumult, like surprising her often and having sex in unconventional places or unconventional ways. Sex for domination (where you dominate her sexually in ways you normally don't) and sex for impregnation (where you're ejaculating into her with the aim of making her pregnant) are both extremely passionate acts and can keep passion fairly high even in older relationships.

If you travel often, this can also introduce a lot of tumult and uncertainty, if she's wondering whether this can even work while you're gone, and then you come back and immediately dose her with passion on your return.

Introducing new joint activities like we talked about in the article on self-expansion can add in some passion (temporarily) as well.

Just think of 'passion' as a reaction to something new, exciting, risky, tumultuous, or out of her and/or your control, and you'll have a good grip on what stimulates feelings of passion in both you and her.

Obviously, that's easier with emotionally unstable women since everything's a surprise to them and you never have any idea what's going on with them (so things are unpredictable and exciting for both of you), but there's still plenty you can do to mix in more passion with more emotionally stable, predictable women.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I remember you talked about girls who talked about relationships or marriage after you two had sex.

How did you deal with these at that moment and afterwards? Hopefully no one was hurt!

How did you prevent yourself from getting those?

Bro,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

You just stay calm and treat it like any other conversation topic. If she makes it emotional, you try to reassure her and tell her things like you know she's doing the best she can do and you doubt she'd be here with you if he was really making her completely happy and satisfied.

Basically, the same advice you hear women giving each other and men on talk television, stuff that's soothing, empowering, and shuts down rational thought... if she's surprising you with stuff and getting herself worked up, that's what's called for here.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Good post on lists of tension locks!
Was thinking of how to efficiently apply tension.

Maybe also a list for "How to spike attraction" and "make her feel comfortable for next escalation" to complete the picture?

Oh and maybe briefly listing some in your reply as a appetizer would be great too.

Thanks,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

I like the "spiking attraction" idea - just added to the topics queue!

Getting her comfortable for the next escalation is really much of what you're doing during the seduction. Deep diving, chase framing, touch, compliance testing - that's all stuff you're doing to ready her for the next escalation.

Now, one along those lines I certainly could add to the queue is "what do you do when she isn't ready to escalate?" e.g., you've been talking to a girl for X minutes, you've sort of run out of things to do, she likes you, but she isn't ready for the next step. What do you do? That's kind of a sticky decision tree... sometimes it's better to go meet other girls and circle back to her later (in a bar), sometimes it's better to just take a number, sometimes it's worth soldiering on through and trying to make something happen anyway.

Anyway, I'll do a post on it.

Chase

EvanK's picture

Chase,

Connery had some timeless techniques and body language. I've never purposefully tried tension locks. I think I may have done them instinctively (not sure though) but I'll definitely be giving these a try. It definitely needs to look natural and you've given good examples on exactly how to do that.

Speaking of being natural, a lot of guys are doing PUA on Youtube and other forums. However, their approach is very different than Girlschase and they almost always lack the fundamentals. Your school of thought is far superior. I'm a Chase disciple for life ;) These PUA guys love to use the word "gaming" to describe what they do.

The thing is, their approach is never subtle. It's like standing in the middle of a crowded public walkway, engaging girls, and then trying to get their number. It lacks the finesse that I've learned on this site. I think it's far superior to make it seems like you're NOT picking up every other girl on the street.

These PUA gaming guys seem to miss this point altogether. Although they may get some numbers, many of those girls will think of them as a guy who was probably trying this with many girls that day. They're just very upfront and make it obvious that they do this all the time. Is their approach disadvantageous? Is the natural approach better?

I would really like to hear your input on this.

Cheers,
Evan

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Evan-

I prefer cold approach myself, but you can do it without seeming like you're an approach machine chatting up every girl in the area (even if you are, in fact, chatting up every girl in the area).

What most men lack is showmanship - they never sit down and ask themselves, "If I was just out for a stroll and happened to notice this girl completely naturally and then spontaneously decided out of the blue that I had to meet her, what would that look like?" Instead they just walk around like they're pitching wares and it looks and feels off. You can still get some success this way, but you trip a lot of girls' incongruence radars and they feel like they're being pitched to and skitter away.

To be fair, street game is hard to make look natural and effortless, and you can't always get it 100% natural-looking. But it seems like most guys don't go much out of their ways to make their approaches feel natural to the girl.

Chase

totally anonymous's picture

this is so weird, I do this at house partys and stuff all the time but because I didnt have other knowledge of skills on here and so never followed it up with anything

hell I Didn't even realize this was a thing, I just thought it was being normal

interesting read

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I'm counting, this the third one haha, at most for now

I read a comment you wrote about social circle. The person asked you about how to create a social circle, and you replied, "social circle are your friends. Other writers on the site probably defined not having a social circle in the context of meeting girls within their groups of friends".

Makes me wonder, making friends one on one can happen. I meet him, text him and hang out. Become friends.

But how do you make GROUPS of friends and get invited to group events?
I think that's what the commenter was asking about in terms of social circle.

Yours,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

The two most typical ways are you're either there for the formation of the group, or you befriend a member of the group and get rolled in later.

If it's the former, that most often happens in places where a bunch of unfamiliar people suddenly find themselves together. College freshmen at the start of university, new hires all coming into a job at the same time, folks taking a night school class who don't know each other beforehand, etc.

If it's the latter, that's how most people make friends after school, where you befriend someone, that person thinks you're cool, and he invites you out with a couple of his social groups, and if some of them think you're cool you gradually start hanging out with those groups and eventually make friends with other people in the groups.

Chase

Beck's picture

Good to see your articles are back. I really liked some of the other writters but you know, Chase is Chase.

I was thinking here if calling her name before the pause could work. I mean, you do pretty much the same thing, stop her, put pressure on her, and then you rearrange things. I thought that calling her name would once again bring her out of the auto-pilot and be really impactful, I just don't know if it would be too impactful, and how this could harm things.
Thanks for the article!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Beck-

I've done it (and had it done to me), and it always feels a little forced.

"Steph..." [pause] (then you go into it) - always just feels a little too dramatic / self-conscious. Like you know what you're doing and are doing it specifically for the effect.

It can work, but doesn't seem to work as well as some of the other ones. Seems to work best if you really understate the name... shaves a little of the obviousness off of it.

Chase

Troy's picture

I must be honest Lawliet, it seems you never take the time to read articles. Most of what you ask is already written about. If you don't read and check, why should Chase or me or anyone look?

There are 1000 + articles on gc . I know it sounds a lot, if you can read them though or just buy Chase eBook.

I once asked lots of questions but they were usually ( maybe always ) about things that haven't been written as yet.

Dude just get out there and start socializing. If you have so much trouble starting I suggest you start slow and focus on building social calibration. Start by talking to anyone around you.

Troy

Lawliet's picture

Hey Troy,

Thank you for bringing this to my attention as I respect people and their time as utmost importance.

That's strange, some questions are about articles I've read. Other questions consist of detailing a little of my own experiences before asking them.
I try my best to find the answer and test before asking (maybe overlook sometimes).

Are you referring to anything particular? I probably am reading it out of context or over looked.

Lawliet

Wolf's picture

Regarding your last comment about Skills and degrees Chase,

I'm asking you this because I have no idea what other profitable skills there are that makes money.

I never thought of code or copyrighting until you said it.

What other skills can I learn to make money even though I'm older?

As for the degree part, I'll be quite frank with you. I am not good with math at all and know that that's where all the money is.

I honestly was going to get a general degree because all of the big money making ones require a lot of math.

With that being said, if I get a general degree, say english, art, communications, etc.

How can I make money off of it?

I really don't have a plan right now because I know in order to make good money I need to be proficient in math.

What can I do about making good money if I suck at math?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

Just a few monetizable skills where you can make good money without a formal education off the top of my head:

  • Programmer
  • Copywriter
  • Affiliate marketer
  • Plumber
  • Electrician
  • Carpenter
  • Oil rig worker
  • Waiter at a high-end restaurant
  • Nightclub manager
  • Retail store manager (I know store managers making 6 figures)

The key word here is skill, and you will need to take the time to develop the skill before anyone's going to pay you much to do it for them.

You don't need any math at all as a copywriter or an oil rig worker, so far as I know, and the math requirements for the other roles are all fairly basic and stuff you can and will pick up on the job.

And there are a lot of low-end versions of a lot of these jobs; you'll have to be a damn good waiter before the high end places will hire you to work their restaurants (and let you collect the huge tips waiters can collect there). You'll have to be a superior manager before a retail company decides to move you from some no-name store in the middle of nowhere and put you in charge of one of its flagship stores, with all the big bonuses that come with it.

You can also teach yourself math; check out the Khan Academy for all kinds of free math courses you can take at your own speed that'll round out your weaknesses.

Liberal arts degrees (English, art, communications) are crap if making money is your concern. Take them if you have money to blow and you want to have an easy-going, stress-free education and aren't so much worried about trying to get a job in your chosen field after. Otherwise, these are non-majors.

If you're going to make money as a novelist, you don't need an English degree to do that, you just need to spend lots and lots of time writing and even more time reading. And if you're going to be a world famous painter or sculptor, well, you won't learn that in school.

If you're going to school, either go to a trade school (plumbing, electrician, carptentry, computer programming), or get a degree you can actually make money with outside of university if you're going for a 4-year degree. Like accounting (you'd have to learn some math though) or occupational therapy.

Chase

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