How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid | Girls Chase

How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do.

naturals get laid

If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most of his time just hanging around and socializing, and yet, somehow, unless you’re doing huge volumes of cold approaches yourself, he just runs laps around you lay-count-wise.

You stop by to grab him for lunch and he’s walking yet another girl out of his place, hair disheveled and a wistful look in her eye.

Where do guys who are genuine naturals with women meet all the girls they sleep with?

Comments

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Well written article bro. I laughed out loud when I read that part about the grandma, can relate to that recently. Grandpas grandmas, bums, teenagers, kids (we didn't do anything!), dads, you name it!

Been getting numbers lately (A little cheer for Lawliet?)
Strange though, these girls are into me (i.e. they invest automatically, give me their number with no hesitation, and body language and signals are very similar to girls in the past who chased me), but they don't reply my texts? I know they're into me but why no texts? Brief deep diving, followed by mentioning about seeing each other again and number grab...what's wrong...

I sent a first text, "Hey Jane, nice meeting you today" and signed my name. No reply, that's fine. Sent a text after a few days, "Hey Jane, what's your schedule like for next week?" No reply again?

Strange...really. Makes me want to build more the moment I meet these girls and just pull her in an isolated place in public if this keeps happening...

Incidentally, a few girls have told me that they don't understand English.
What's your way in dealing with this obstacle (or rejection) bro?

Yours,
Lawliet

Lawliet's picture

And they invest!
This is what bugs me!

They invest. So according to Being a challenge to women, they have C and E in ACER.

Examples:
Girl looked at me, I made funny face, she WALKS over on her own, and I pat the seat next to me, she SITS down.

I ask for directions and she GETS UP, HOLDING all her shopping bags, DOESN'T tell me to hold them for her, and WALKS me to my location...without me asking.

They happily give me their numbers as I propose something later in the week. Quick too, no resistance.

I'm so pissed! If they want me, why won't they text back!
I followed it to the key, opening text within a few hours, follow up next day, but nothing... nothing!

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Check out the guides on texting:

"Hey Jane, what's your schedule like for next week?" is Clueless Boring Questions Guy™ fare. Just because you use the word "schedule" doesn't mean it isn't; you need to follow the texting template, not just use the CBQG texts + the word schedule ;)

Read the articles, and try texting what's in them.

Chase

90210's picture

What vibe does the natural adopt when talking with everybody, flirting with
all the girls and basically being a sociable fellow?
Or does he simply talk normally and acts friendly, without trying to adopt any
particular vibe but just enjoys being social?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

90210-

The naturals I know, it’s always a kind of intense, somewhat-amused yet also sorta better-than-you vibe. Leaning in, picking your brain, leading the conversation, laughing with you, but you can always kind of tell he’s got wheels turning even as he does it and even as he seems completely relaxed on the surface. You can never quite tell if he really just wants to kick back with you, or if he’s legitimately scrutinizing you; you hope it’s the former but suspect it’s the latter.

Chase

Moon's picture

To add up to this wonderful article and merge it with some key ideas already talked about in GC, The "natural's" way has some underlying paradigms:

- No hierarchical worldview : crucial to be able to talk genuinely to people you might view us beneath you, say "beggars", and not get nervous around people you view as higher than you

- Realistic optimism : inasmuch as you believe that you can learn anything, and that present failures (awkward interactions...) doesn't mean that you are condemned to longlife failures

I think the second point is very hard for many people, because many fall prey to victim mentality because they just can't see or believe that most things that have been pulled off by some human can be learnable. maybe you could write an article about this specific issue (and realistic optimism, in general)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Moon-

Good points.

And I like the "realistic optimism" suggestion - it's now in the topics queue.

Chase

Sub-Zero's picture

This comment is here incase you didn't see it on the boards.

Great article Chase, makes a lot more sense now. I feel it would be easier for me to cold approach if I was just talking to everyone casual instead of just one cute girl I see with the weight on my shoulders to try and pick her up.

Now when you say flirt with all girls, no matter if they're fat, old, etc, how do you flirt under the radar and what are the benefits of flirting with girls you do not find attractive at all?

When I flirt I am sexual; that is why I don't flirt with anyone that I am not attracted to. What kind of flirting is that?

Can I get lays off of this style if I have to train myself to be more social?

How do these guys get these girls into consistent lays if they are not as focused as we are?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Sub-Zero-

All flirting is sexual to some extent or another, which is one of the reasons most men don't feel comfortable doing it with all women. They're afraid the fat girl or the granny will "get the wrong idea" and then start hounding them for sex. Or that someone might see it and think they're into fat grannies.

There are various 'levels' of flirting, from subtle to obvious. Check out this article for a primer on flirting to get a grasp on what that looks like:

How to Flirt with a Girl

... and see this one on playfulness, which is often what subtle flirting looks like:

How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You'll NEED

As for can you get lays off the natural style... yes, absolutely.

A serious and talented cold approacher can usually sleep with more girls in a short period of time than all but the best naturals in the best positions (e.g., a really talented natural who's structured his life around meeting lots of attractive, receptive in women in such a way that he's highly positioned and they're chasing him from 'hello' will beat anyone).

The thing with cold approachers is, it's an 'unnatural' approach style, so most burn out after a while. Whereas the natural's approach style is a 'natural' one that just blends in with daily life and doesn't require him to push himself much (or at all) to do it, so he'll usually end up sleeping with more women over a greater period of time.

Maybe think of the natural as an endurance athlete, and the cold approacher as a sprinter. Cold approach guy can set some impressive records over the short-term, but if you're looking at who does best over longer and longer periods of time, it's going to be the guy with the natural approach.

Chase

Sub-Zero's picture

OK so I messed up with two girls that I picked up recently at a party.

I went in for the kill and told them that they were cute and that I wanted their number.

I realized I failed to ask for a meet, nor did I talk much to them.

I mean I got the numbers, but I did not get a response from either.

I think girl 1 saw me flirting with girl two so I feel that might have messed me up.

I was quite bit drunk too, so that didn't help.

I was kissing girl 2'scout cheeks and holding girl 2 and she didn't mind it, but I still didn't get a reply.

I feel it is hard to make a connection when at a party.

So did I just have to ask for a meet up and it would of been good?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Sub-Zero-

Impossible to know.

Could've helped; may not have.

You'll usually never know with anything close to 100% certainty why it worked out with X girl but why it didn't work out with Y one.

You can just look for patterns: when you do A, B happens. When you don't do A, C happens.

Then start doing A if B is good and you want it to happen more often and C is bad and you want it happening less often.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Chase, do naturals worry about being liked by other people?
I mean, not in a needy way, but how much do they care about others' perceptions
of their own actions? Specially when socializing, do they do it sometimes in an attempt to be well seen by others?
Are naturals overly concerned about what other people think of them?
I know it's not good to want to be liked too much but it seems that what others think is a concern for some people.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Naturals don't worry so much about being liked, so much as it is they read exactly how much someone likes them or not, and interacts with them based off of this. The natural will more or less like everybody who is socially valuable, regardless whether that person likes him or not.

So if you are socially valuable and he can tell you don't like him, he'll still like YOU, and will still put his arm around you and tell you he knows you don't like him, and that's okay, because you don't have to LIKE each other to get along.

Many people can't stand being called out on anti-social behavior, and will deny this and say no, they DO like him, it's just that... and then they'll tell him whatever their issue is with him, and he can usually solve it then and there.

Or they'll shrug it off, but can't help admiring his social savvy, and picking up on some of his warmth and inclusiveness and reflecting a bit of it back at him (emotional contagion). In this way, naturals often win over people who don't initially like them.

The emotion a natural feels is not so much, "I hope X likes me," as it is more, "How can I get X to like me?"

It is process-based thinking rather than outcome-based thinking. The natural knows the end result he wants, and so picks apart the person and thinks and strategizes to come up with a way to get his desired end. Very different from most people who are focused on liking, who more focus on the emotional outcome then feel bummed if they don't get it. For these people, the emotions of others are a major signifier of worth; for naturals, the emotions of others are just a fun game they know how to play, and they never say no to a good challenge.

Chase

Hector Castillo's picture

Kudos Chase,

This is the most accurate representation of how "naturals" work. It characterizes my daily life and the lives of all of my buddies who do well with women.

For too long I got wrapped up in the ideal "PUA," but have recently rediscovered that fun-loving and sociable demeanor that I developed over the years pre-GC. However, now I've got that super-boost from the GC-grind and systematic thinking.

One of the most important articles on the site. Everybody read this 100 times.

- Hector

Amir's picture

Hector your friggin awesome mann!

Flamingo's picture

Hey,

This "triple digits without the street stops" question have been on my mind for a while and you've answered it brilliantly. It all fits my experience and makes sense now.

Thanks

lux's picture

Yes, and that is even easier when the "naturals" are also attractive.

What I have realized , especially observing my new friend and colleague, is that many naturals are also attractive.

"somehow" he always has some girl around.

And if you go and see how these girls come about, it's just normal social life, like you said, with him being in it as an attractive guy who pulls the trigger.

And they attract colleagues, friends, friends of colleagues, friends of friends, gym attendees, language courses attendees, neighbours and loads of Tinder matches...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lux-

Yes, absolutely.

Some naturals are classically handsome, and their very good looks get them a lot of early attention and successes that give them a head start plus some excellent early mindsets about women.

Other naturals figure out early on that they really like girls, and take pains to make sure their fundamentals are exceptional and they get considered "really good looking" even if their faces are otherwise pretty ordinary.

Every guy who's a natural though realizes at some point, usually pretty early on, that he can't ignore being attractive if he wants to make it as easy for himself as possible with women. The amount of time most naturals spend on things like facial expressions and eye contact makes most non-naturals who study seduction look uncommitted by comparison.

Chase

lux's picture

My question on this article though is:

Don't you think, Chase, that by being so social you might lose a bit of your mystique?

As de facto, you become a very social guy.
A "chatty" guy, and chatty guy have a harder time at also being very sexy.. ?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lux-

Typically speaking, the confidence, dominance, and leadership qualities this lifestyle imbues more than make up for any lost mystique.

Though, for sure, if you're going for the kind of Byronic "mysterious stranger" identity, that is usually rather incompatible with being a Chatty Cathy. Kinda got to pick one or the other.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey bro,

Have a dilemma for you.
If we can't say no to women or anyone, then how do we deal with accusations (given they are misunderstandings) from gf / girls who like you? Such as misinterpretation or them jumping into conclusions that could lead them into AR.

Any examples from how you would (or have in experience) dealt with these situations is appreciated!

Oh and when we open situationally relevant, how do we get across our intention (from What to say to girls to make them wild) that happens in direct opening?

Devoted reader,
Lawliet

Anonymous's picture

Mr. Amante:

I just wanted to give you a MASSIVE thank you. I am one of the slow movers, the ones who pay for things, who try to qualify themselves as boyfriends.

I also had the huge misfortune to hook up with a girl who was afflicted with a certain... condition that begins with an H. All these things together absolutely destroyed all confidence and drive I had up to that point. I basically gave up on flirting because my mind would jump to the fact that I at some point would have to tell her and scare her away forever.

I stumbled upon this site a week ago and have since then been smashing through articles non stop. Everything makes perfect sense, much of what you talk about I had seen or felt at some time or another but did not understand the reasoning behind it. Now the gears in my mind are locked into their proper position and ready to get moving at full speed.

So thank you again for getting me back in the groove despite my bad luck. Priceless. One day I will buy you a drink and a lap dance.

Cheers.

EvanK's picture

Hey Chase,

What an interesting article. I like the idea of walking in the shoes of a natural for a day!

I understand the importance of being sociable for all the advantages that come with it, but do women tend to like this characteristic in men?

I tend to go the Byronic route a lot when picking up and don't want women to think I'm a chatty guy. I'm talking about not only in my mannerisms, but Byronic in my clothing, accessories, etc. I am very sociable, much like the natural in the article, but I don't want women I'm trying to bed to see this.

Would you agree that this is the right course?

Also, just out of curiosity, how Byronic are you with women? I know it's better for getting younger women, but I often think the more Byronic you are, the less of the Suave-debonaire type you are. So when I go for the more elegant, sophisticated approach with women closer to my age, the Byronicism I have tends to be more of a "dark side" rather than in my outward appearance.

Cheers,
Evan

EvanK's picture

I do have one more quick question for you, Chase, that I can't seem to find in the articles.

After meeting a woman and then bedding her soon after (like the second time you meet up with her), what's the right interaction to have with her the next time you meet her? I know being the same plus warmth is a good route. But is it okay to be more physical with her or do those boundaries have to be appreciated like when you were trying to bed her for the first time?

Your input is always greatly appreciated.

Evan

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Evan-

When it comes to women like, it’s a “different strokes for different folks” kind of deal.

I will say though, even my girlfriends who’ve preferred quiet men and abhorred most talkative guys tend to like (a lot) my highly social uncle when they’ve met him. I’ve seen stars in the eyes of more than a few girlfriends there.

If you’re naturally social, you may be unnecessarily restricting yourself by playing up a quieter Byronic angle. Usually you do best when you tailor your style to match your strengths, though you might have an adjustment period if you’ve gotten used to doing something else.

As for me, my Byronic qualities tend to be close to what you see in talkative naturals, where I’ll mention something intriguing to the girl but brush it off and tell her I’m not interested in me, I already know all about me, I want to hear about her. So the girl ends up being compelled to talk about her (which is her favorite subject), while all the while dying to know about you. Builds intrigue, builds compliance (she’s doing what you want, and telling you about herself, rather than what she wants, which is to pelt you with questions until she gains satisfaction), and just makes the whole thing more fun.

Re: post-sex behavior, if you can pull it off, I recommend being very touchy. I like to put my arm around girls, have them sit on my lap, etc., and basically get to sex very quickly after meeting back up again after we’ve already had sex in the past. At least for me, my reasoning is, we’ve already done it, it was quite good for both of us (otherwise, we would not be here for Round 2), we both want it and both are wondering if the other is going to deliver it, I might as well get the tension over with sooner rather than later and get us both what we want (although I will still build SOME tension – don’t want to make it TOO easy for her ;)

Chase

Anonymouz's picture

I don't know if it's pride or insecurity idk. I am kinda hard on my girl, I keep brining up her past of the guys she talked to, kissed, etc, before me. She has told me this, but I keep trying to see if I can find out more to see if she is trying to trick me.

She hasn't slept with too many men, but I wanted to be her only one ever. I know you said it's good not to have a Virgin because they will get curious and leave.

But, thinking that I wasn't her only one makes me mad.
I don't trust anyone and always suspect other motives. For example she tells me she loves me, I believe it, but I say to her you have said that already to someone before, this is no different, then she gets mad and tells me her love for me is different.

It might not be right, but that's how I feel. I don't feel special because I wasn't her only.
Her having sex before me, doesn't make me feel good. Idk.

I just don't feel special.

I also want to do better than her, I want to be more successful because I just do. I get angry when I can't progress and she does. It makes me want to cut her off.
I want to do better than her.

It's like competition for me.

She told me she was getting a new car, and I said, I have to get a better car than you, I can't let you have a better car than me.

Chase, what is this feeling called? I want to know what it is, how to get rid of it, and how to solve it.

Thank you.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonymouz-

It’s just insecurity. You’re worried her past lovers are going to make you pale in comparison for her, or that you’re just another notch in the bedpost for her. Worrying about her surpassing you is more fairly typical “guy needs to feel in charge, and to feel in charge he needs to be superior to her in all ways” stuff.

My chief recommendation is date more girls. As you get more relationship experience under your belt, these feelings should start to go away – women you date will seem like less of a rare commodity to you, and you’ll have enough experience to start getting a feel for what really is a big deal and what isn’t.

I can’t think of a good way to solve in within a relationship though (sounds like this might be your first relationship). You’re always going to be a bit insecure and uncertain of yourself in your early relationships. This is only a problem if it keeps happening once you’ve already had a bunch of relationships and you still feel insecure with girls.

Chase

Wolf's picture

Sup Chase,

I have no major experience in anything, and I feel college isn't really my thing.

Starting from scratch how can I make a lot of money?
How can I make a decent living at all?

I need to know that I can still be financially stable incase college really doesnt work out, and I feel you would know the answer.

So what is a career that I can get into and realistically make good money with no experience?

What kind of jobs do girls and guys respect if you do not have a degree?

What kind of jobs would sound cool to girls if you don't have a degree based job?

What options do I have besides college?

Thank you sir.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

Build a skill set. You can go to codeacademy.com and learn to code for free. Or learn to be a copywriter. If you train yourself hard in either area, you should be able to make $50 to $100 / hour easily within a year or two, and you'll never have trouble finding work.

You must build the skill set first though. Don't build the skill set, and you won't find anyone interested in hiring you, especially without a degree.

Degrees can help you get a job without a skill set, IF a.) you went to a good school, b.) you picked a good major, and c.) you did well enough in school.

Otherwise, if you want to be well paid, learn a skill set.

Artist jobs sound 'cool' to women. They often don't pay well, however. Though it's possible to be a well paid artist IF you are, again, well trained.

Whatever you pick, you're going to spend a few years intensively studying your given field. If you do not do this, you will not have a good skill set, and if you do not have a good skill set, no one will be interested in having you do work for them (because they would rather hire someone who will do a better job for them).

So pick something that sounds interesting, and start training yourself in it. There are plenty of skills to learn, and tons of places to learn them free, online, if you're serious enough about it.

Chase

Anonymouz's picture

Chase, I know you have an article about depression, but I am dealing with more of not being satisfied or happy.

I really don't get happy for anything and feel life is just a drag. Like you live and that's it.

I don't know what to be happy for.

I have moments happiness then it goes away after I realize that it might not last.

I even think I'll be depressed when I'm an super old man. I feel like crap, I can't do anything anymore, sports, pick up girls, have a killer body.

Then I realize that I do want to live a long life.

I'm just not really happy and don't get happy often.

Think you can help me out with enjoying things and being happy?

Appreciate it.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonymouz-

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. It’s designed that way – it’s a reward for doing something you feel good about.

If you want to feel happy more, you need to do more things you feel good about doing.

Your life right now sounds like you just don’t do the things that would make you feel happy. As expected, you do not feel happy.

If you want to feel happy, do the things you need to do to feel happy. Like work out, play sports, and pick up girls. I don’t know why you say you can’t do these things, but I know guys in wheelchairs who do these things, so even if you were in a terrible car accident and can only move your head, I’m betting you can probably still do all three of these things (well, you might not be able to lift weights… two of these things, then).

Chase

Sub-zero's picture

I was reading your articles about relationships Chase, and you said you should keep picking up girls, you said to keep sleeping with other girls, attempting sex with other girls, etc.

My question is how do you do that without feeling gulity?

Her leaving you?

Her trying to have a open relationship?

Her finding out?

Her getting hurt?

I haven't seen you write an article about how to handle that, but I assume you want everyone in a relationship to do that, so that's why I am asking.

How do I do these things and not feel guilt? Not have her stray? Not hurt her? And not get caught?

Thanks Chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Sub-Zero-

I'm not sure what context I said that in, but I usually try to stay away from recommending guys not be monogamous when monogamy is their goal.

That might've been a suggestion for when you first start seeing a girl... those initial 90 days or so. In which case, that's usually going to be my advice, yes. If you're going to give her monogamy, make her work for it.

Generally, if you feel guilty about something, be real careful about it. It's good to push the boundaries a little bit, especially if you're new to dating and haven't really adapted to the modern dating world (where fewer people start out exclusive and it's often assumed you'll be dating around at the outset), but there's a risk of you doing things you don't want to do if you start doing too many things that make you feel too guilty.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

yo chase, love your articles!

Dude, you suggest in your challenge article that a girl who complies and is enthusiastic indicates she's interested. Would a girl not comply because she's uncomfortable as opposed to not interested? How to tell and what's the solution? thanks chase! ;)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

That can well be the case.

Check out this article for detail:

What If She Says No?

Chase

Tacky's picture

Dear Chase,

I am delighted to read your articles. One of them named, "Pulling her in", gave me an idea.
You noted opening with pulling her in at a bar or club.
I am curious if this also applies at the beginning of a date for displacing platonic frame with a romantic/sexual frame. Upon meeting her at a public cafe or venue, pulling her in, giving a witty "How did you get over here" and greet will start things with a bang! Then push her back and continue conversation.
Looking forward to hear your thoughts.

Pertaining the article, you noted to keep moving. However, there might not be enough girls around on the street or current venue whom did not witness our previous approaches. I'm currently aiming to approach 100 girls a day but many of them are within radius of my previous failed approach, coffee shop or street and I'm forced to change places to find girls for approaching. What would you do and what are your suggestions for achieving high numbers of approaches in the most convenient way without running too much around and changing places?

Cheers,
Tacky

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tacky-

In my experience, if you've already set a platonic frame and she expects you to be platonic, coming in with something like pulling her close or otherwise acting sexual or romantic off the bat usually just seems incongruent and makes her think you realized she viewed you platonically and now you're in fire-fighting mode.

Instead, it's better if you've already set a bad frame to start off in the frame she expects you to be in, then gradually transition out of that into a different frame as you spend more time with her. Then it just seems like you're coming into your own or she's realizing you aren't the guy she thought you were (and instead are something better).

With large approach volumes, I can't say I've ever done a 100-approach day, but I've had some where I've hit 40 or 50 approaches. When I've done that, it's always been in very large, very crowded venues with high churn (e.g., some huge, popular nightclub that has loads of people streaming into it throughout the night), and I'm continuously circulating and opening as I go. Because everyone's so distracted and the place is so crowded, most folks have a limited field of vision and they aren't much aware of who's talk to whom and who's doing how much approaching (or who's approaching at all). You can just move through a bunch of smaller venues and do 6 or 7 opens per venue and open girls on the street, but when you're doing this you'll often start running into familiar faces as the night wears on (though this isn't necessarily bad - those familiar faces can often be the ones you bring home).

Chase

Rajj's picture

Amazing Post. Nothing short of GENIUS !!!! The most Valuable Advice on Life and Social Dynamics I have seen. Game Changing Advice !!! Thank you

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