Self-Expansion and Growth in Relationships | Girls Chase

Self-Expansion and Growth in Relationships

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

Back in the old days, when I was much more a relationship-focused kind of guy than a seduction-focused kind of guy, I built this model for relationships, since I hadn’t seen any good concrete models out there and I thought it could be useful. The idea didn’t get a whole lot of interest from folks at the time, so I didn’t bother to do a lot of writing on it or really lay the model out anywhere, but it was called GISS, and the “G” in GISS was the central point the others connected to, and it stood for “Growth.” Growth was the keystone of a relationship that supported the other three pillars and was the key defining aspect of what made a solid, successful partnership.

I’m recalled to this today by a fascinating article I just read in the New York Times titled “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage”, which could just as easily be about long-term relationships in general as it could marriages specifically. The central element of the ‘me’ in the title of the article is, as it turns out, all about shared personal growth in one’s relationship. The title might perhaps have been a bit more suiting were it worded “The Happy Relationship is the ‘We’ Relationship”, but the point is it’s about that keystone element that’s so essential to the proper running of a long-term relationship.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

This article is amazing. It's probably about to take my relationship to beautiful new heights. I can't wait. This whole website and it's articles are helping me to become a way more positive person. I can't thank you enough. Keep it up!

Anonymous's picture

Chase,

Great stuff! Thank you for providing something for us guys in relationships striving to keep things fresh and exciting.

I'm really inpressed with the scope, sophisticatation, and systems that you have created. Keep up the great work and keep pushing the limits and you'll make your mark as one of the great thinkers of our age!

Chris Garret's picture

Chase,

At what point should I begin to introduce her as my "girlfriend" to friends and family? I've been seeing this girl for a little over three weeks now. I have taken her on several dates including restaurants, sailing, and this weekend she wants to show me around at her medical school lab.

We have been sleeping together since square one, and she's briefly mentioned about having me come stay with her family (which is three states away) for this coming Thanksgiving. I'm fairly new to the whole "girlfriend process", and my subsequent question is: Do I have to literally ask her to be my girlfriend at this point or has it already naturally happened?

As always, Chase, your advice is on point and has helped me over the past year in so many ways that you couldn't even imagine. Thanks man and keep teaching us your valuable wisdom!

Avid student,

Chris

Alexander Abraham's picture

Chase,

Outstanding article. Since getting into pickup about a year ago and talking to people who are better than me or who are just starting, it's all about the doom and gloom of relationships.

I love this article, and it's very appreciated.

Being in my first real relationship I can immediately take this advice and apply it.

I would also love to hear about the "ISS" of your "GISS" method.

Thanks a ton,
Alexander Abraham

nolimits's picture

Chase,

your view on relationshipis incrdibly useful,strategic and fun.

Handling a relationship following your model is a great way for anybody to force himself onto a total abundance mentality.
( how can u text her less often than she does, be less invested, control the whole thing without having it?when u realize absolute abundance is what you miss, you go build it no matter what.)

My question is, when someone like you ends an LTR, how does it feel?

my hope is that it dosn't feel incredibly bad like the usual break up, where u feel weak for months and months.

Let's say you kept on fucking other women from time to time during the ltr.. is recovering a tragedy or it's actually very simple?

Ricardus wrote a post about it where he put it clearly : recovering is incredily hard.. but he was refering to 2 side monogamous LTR...
so i hope with one side monogamy that changes a bit... if not, i evoke ALEK and say : is there any benefit on LTR?

My guess however is that if you TRULY have absolute abundance, geting past it is extremely easy.

I mean , think about it, u split up and - while u ve banged other women in the meantime, u are able to find another great girl within a week or 2..

U could even write a post about it..

BTW, great article!

ayvee's picture

If its one thing Chase's writing has its longevity and a ton of work.
These articles will stand the test of time.
I'm learning in 2018 what he has given us since 2012

These will go a long way to keeping a woman and yourself deeply invest in your relationship.
I will use this coupled with the 'how to get your girlfriend back article and see where it takes me'
If it doesn't work your absolute abundance tips do wonders,
once you know how to keep a woman finding a new partner to bond with and learn and experience things with doesn't seem all that daunting anymore.
If you're not actively managing your relationship its getting worse not better!

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