Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing | Girls Chase

Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

Alright gentlemen, if you feel like fishing with dynamite, I’m going to show you how in this post on Chase Framing. This is how to get girls to chase you. If your goal is women pursuing you, women chasing after you, women trying to sleep with you… chase framing is the closest thing to a magic bullet you can come. Mix in investment and always moving things forward, and you’ll have the recipe for a lot of fast sex and strong relationships with women who want you with a passion.

First, something in the way of a definition.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
I find this post very interesting to me because I am currently involved in my first hook up buddy relationship and it highlighted the reasons I feel sexually attracted to him. However, ever since we slept together for the first time he has backed away a lot and I'm ALWAYS the one asking him to come over and hook up. I feel like the fact that there is no longer a chase for him, that he knows he could get with me no problem, it is causing him to be less attracted to me. So I guess I'm wondering a) does what you described above work if women do this to men also? and b) is all i need to do to fix this give him the chase that he wants, or is it a whole other game at this point? He and I are both home from college for the summer and I only have a couple more weeks before I have to go back to school again... I'd like to get some good use out of my time! haha

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon,

Well, first, I'll throw in a disclaimer: I can give you some theoretical advice, and what I think would work on me and other men, but as a guy my experiences are going to be quite different from what a woman using something like this on a man would have. So chances are, an experienced female player is probably going to be able to give you much tighter advice than I am.

That said, yeah, normally bad dynamic for a girl to be the one inviting the guy to come over and hook up. On the other hand, I've dated some pretty dynamic women, and I know from talking to them about their pasts that they tend to date a lot of passive men, and they (the women) quite often end up being the initiators of damn near everything. So I guess I'd say:

* If you're in-charge and calling the shots in the relationship, you're still okay.

* If he's in-charge but you're chasing after him, you need to course-correct.

Guys backing away after you've slept together are tough to control for. The old adage is "men chase for sex and women chase for relationships;" once he's already taken you to bed a few times, it's going to be a tough task to keep him around if he doesn't want to stick around.

Your best option is probably to make him want you more. Talk to him about his previous girlfriends, find out what he fantasizes about, and then work to position yourself as that. Spend time with him, be sexy and coy and tease him a bit... get him excited about it before you go to bed. What's a lost art with both men and women these days is creating the whole experience of sensuality and desire outside of the bedroom -- perhaps study some sultry, sexy vixens in the movies and see if you can adapt some of what they do to your own style.

Chase framing like this might be okay, but I'd be a little wary of it. Most men don't take as well to witty / wordy women as women do to men of that style. Men get turned on far more by women being flirty and sexual without having to say anything about getting physical.

e.g., picture a girl teasing a guy about intimacy... versus a girl sucking on a strawberry while looking at her guy out of the corner of her eyes. Yum, right?

As a woman, you probably have a pretty good feeling for what's sexy in other women and what isn't when you see it. So whatever you feel like doing, I'd say imagine another girl doing it, and ask yourself if it's sexy -- or if she ought to take things back to the drawing board.

Cheers -- and hope you enjoy the rest of the summer ;)

Chase

SocialKenny's picture

Another great article Chase.Compliance is powerful in pick-up.

Anonymous's picture

Hey chase, you seem to be an expert here

I've read a lot of your posts on topics about understanding girls and how to better position myself. The one problem I think I have is that even though I do all these things on a semi regular basis with a lot of women I know. Once I find one that I like and realized that I like her and that she has some feelings for me too, but is still kinda testing me, I seem to freeze up and just turn weak.
Is there any particular reason for this? I haven't had many real relationships, and to be honest, nothing longer than a month so maybe that's why I freeze up and start acting weak and strange and unreliable once I've found someone I'm interested in back.
I just start to fail at the tests, because the girls seem to make me feel weak. Right now, I think its happening again, but thankfully came across all this information to prep myself. I hope i stopped this problem in its tracks, Im sure i've only made one mistake so far, and I'm hoping to remedy that tomorrow. I've talked with a few friends and I'm following what they've suggested and what I naturally feel is right: let it slide and dont let the test bother me. However, this feeling though, of something unpleasent in your chest, still bothers me and I guess only experience makes it go away?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

What you're going through is a totally normal phase. I went through it, everybody reading and commenting on this site has gone through it or is going through it now... if not with every girl, at least with ones he likes a lot.

It's basic psychological programming: we get nervous around the things we want very much, and start taking it to cautiously and rationally and making mistakes in our efforts to "not mess up." Basically, you mess yourself up trying to not mess up... ironically enough.

I've got a post on this here:

When Women Test Men

which should help out.

You're right, predominantly only experience will make it go away. Once you start realizing that women testing you are often doing it to be a little funny or because they're skeptical and need to be reassured, and once you know how to deftly sidestep these tests with ease and panache, you stop even noticing them altogether.

One suggestion: if you've got specific tests that are troubling you, spend a little time thinking about why, and about how to better avoid them in a concise, comfortable way the next time you encounter them.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Chase

pg's picture

okay, so ive read a bunch of stuff on here and im wondering, what is the order that is common/you recommend/you look out for? like, should making someone feel special in an understanding conversative way happen in conjuncture with sexual humor? or should you have at least a base understanding of them, move on to normal humor, escalate by touching or making them feel positively isolated/chosen by you by giving standards, and when you give standards that sets the chase frame, then build on the previous to spin it to be SEXUALLY isolated/chosen by you (in addition to non sexual choosing)? this all seems like pretty good info, but im having trouble piecing everything together.

also, just as a compliment, im glad you are telling people to actually care about the other person/people instead of telling them to appear like they care. thats one thing i feel like people (not just women) can easily sort out after a little bit. just having a genuine interest in people. also another thing I liked, how being courteous without being demanding. i dislike both extremes, where for instance a guy will hold a door open for a girl even if shes in another time zone, and sits there almost waiting to burst out "youre welcome!". and the other one, where the guy seems to pull the door as soon as he walks through it, being like "i worked hard for these door opening muscles, respect it". but if there's no reason not to, then why not? i also liked your reactions vs results thing. i think the same thing applies for comedy in a sense. its 10x worse when someone tells a bad joke and actively looks and tries to force a laugh out of someone ( trying to amplify the impact it was supposed to have), rather than just being cool and saying it and not really caring about what happens because of it. weird example, but you probably get it.

also, something else im curious about. are you single [no winky face here]? because though you talk a lot about ending up in bed and stuff, you also go a bit into dating, and you dabble in other things to improve on (im curious as to your advice on voice or if you have something i can read about). you sometimes talk about the number of high quality women youve had, or how many women youve had in X time or whatnot, and yet you talk about how rewarding it is to relate to someone and get to know a multidimensional side to them. have you just not met the right person? have you just got bored? obviously sex with more women is in a hard wired sense more enjoyable than one, but perhaps there's a reason you like this more?

im a total newbie to this whole thing though. i at least know how to converse and get to personal topics (maybe not core personal but at least personal) because im actually interested in people and, i have a decent skill in words (maybe not so much in grammar, at least in online posts) though nowhere near expert level of course, im pretty funny and good at implications, im just not good at attraction. and although I usually do press topics until i am asked, maybe i could say less about what i was asked about (this is what is supposed to happen, right? even if asked something, i stay just as mysterious in a way to have her think? what if i am asked something specific where i'd have to give a thoughtful answer, couldnt it convey me being weird if i cant speak long about it). does this only happen in the meeting portion or do you stay vague but inviting forever or what?

where should a newbie like me start? id say im pretty good at expressing through body language/facial expression. i just cant 'control' the situation through body language like people better at this can. im not even really sure i totally get what a compliance test is (is it like hey do this thing for me, thanks for doing this thing for me?). im not sure what to project my standards as and what they'd be (sexual? non sexual? deeply personal? shallow personal? tying shallow personal tastes to deep personal preferences? all the above? etc) and im not sure how to reward a girl for those standards. i could definitely start becoming more powerful in body posture, eye contact, etc. i know my physique is out of shape but im working on it with great consistency and results (for more reasons than this).

thats all for now. keep up the activity; theres some interesting stuff on this site and i feel its at least getting me closer to the right view, even though i dont have much experience. i also like the stuff that talks about just improving different habits. although the stuff parallels Mystery/Style kind of stuff, i feel kind of weird reading about canned openers and dhv stories and stuff.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey PG,

I don't think of things as all that orderly myself, but for someone just starting out I'd say work on connecting first, and adding a sexual vibe later. Primarily that's because connecting is what you'll use to get women to stick around; a sexual vibe in and of itself lends itself to a lot of flakiness from women. Connections and conversations keep them around; sexiness and edginess excites them and makes them want more.

Once you've developed both skills though, you'll need to feel a girl out to a certain extent, but yes, you should be sprinkling chase framing / other light sexual humor in with your conversation and connection. It keeps things from getting too heavy (see "Spell Broken"), and makes your intentions clear.

As for my relationship status... well, I discuss my personal life somewhat on this site, but I aim for this to be more educational and informative than straight-up personal. Most of the readership on here is normal guys living normal lives who want to do better with girls, so that's what I write to help guys do. Discussing my own lifestyle and views, which, simply due to my own experiences and abilities, are very far outside the mainstream, ends up being outside the scope of the site.

But, yes and no to your questions: I haven't been single since 2006, really... intermittent bursts, but never for long even then not entirely single, and women are a very abundant resource. I have indeed found the right girl, and quite a few of them: beautiful, intelligent, highly educated, accomplished, ambitious girls with great personalities and wonderful homemaking skills. I don't really get bored; I've extensively remapped my brain through practice and meditation, and boredom and excitement are largely gone for me. Sex I find somewhat enjoyable, but I'm fine without it; I choose to pursue it for my own reasons, which aren't especially relatable to most guys out there (I'm purpose-driven rather than pleasure-driven; most people are pleasure / happiness-driven: their goal in life is to be happy, which is a goal I understand but don't share).

As to your questions on relating, yes, saying less is a choice option and highly recommended. Be intriguing and give some information but not all. Make women wonder what else lies behind the curtain.

Ultimately, you do want her to feel like you have things for her to discover forever. The moment a woman feels she knows you completely is the moment you stop being intriguing, interesting, and exciting, and become yesterday's news.

Compliance test -- yes, you've got it. Ask for investment, see how she responds.

Standards -- whatever you like, though I recommend having standards of looking for interesting people (and then learning to be good at drawing out what's interesting about everyone you meet) and being an edgy, sexual guy who moves fast.

Props on working out; it's not impossible to get girls when you're out of shape, but being in shape gives you like a 15% edge or so, depending on how big you started out at, and that can be quite significant.

Anyway, hope this helps, PG. If you keep at it, you'll make strides and see improvements.

Best,
Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been reading your stuff and its pretty interesting to say the least and i'm trying to fit it into how i should be treating this girl i'm dealing with. To give you some background I've known her for about a year and just a few months ago we started reaching a new level. We arent dating but both of us have talked about working towards it. She just got out of a long dysfunctional relationship and was looking towards being with me. But the worst part is she just went off to college so now its a long distance relationship for the time being. It has caused me to fight with her here and there but we have always made up and she was always the one who after a few days of the silent treatment would cave in first and contact me to try to fix things. It usually takes her a few days to realize she was wrong because shes that kind of girl who never thinks she is. Although, right now were in good standing but its starting to look like were talking more like friends than people trying to be in a relationship..

This girls perfecttt personality trait would be "stuck up". She fits almost every aspect of it. And to give you an idea of how the relationship is running, i'm putting in all the effort while she barely puts in any. I've opened up to her and told her how i felt on a lot of different aspects of our relationship while she rarely opens up and when she does its not very detailed. I feel clingy and needy :/..She seems to have her guard up and i want to know how to break through that. Ignoring her has worked effectively by her being the one who starts chasing me but it does scare me to keep doing that because i feel one of these times i might lose her all together. I'm sick of investing so much in her but i'm also afraid that if i stop investing in her then she will not bother to invest in me and give up. I do like this girl a lot and do want to be with her but want her to start being more affectionate towards me because its driving me crazy that she wont be like that. I've fought with her over that asking why she cant be like that which im starting to realize might have been a bad idea. I just dont know how i can restore it to me being the chased when i have been so open to her. I really hope its fixable..

So hears the thing i want to know if you can help me figure out how i can get this stuck up low profiled girl to open up to me and let her guard down. What are the best ways to get her investing in me without me coming off as clingy or needy to get it out from her? Thank you for reading and i hope you can help me out! :)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon-

Okay, first, check this post out:

"Keeping Your Cool: Don't Chase Women"

Second, I know it feels like you're getting somewhere, but you need to read that. Crappy position to be in, I know.

Best advice for now is to marginalize this girl and start meeting new women, upping your skills with girls, and finding replacements. She may come back into your circle; she may not. But trust me, whether she does or not is going to matter very, very little to you once you start getting success with girls in your town -- instead of one who's far away and not trying to be together with you!

Cheers and good luck, man-
Chase

RM's picture

Hi there,
First off, I just found this site and have found it incredibly helpful. I usually don't read up on much material but a lot of this stuff seems applicable and not so gimmicky. Thanks for putting all this stuff up.

Now, I've been chatting with this girl recently... I've hooked up with her once before and she's been "chasing" me going by the definition given here (texting me more, overall putting in more effort), but now it seems to be losing steam and usually if we talk, I'll start the conversation. I wouldn't say i'm chasing her, but it's definitely more neutral. How can I turn it around to how it was before, since now I don't want to invest more in this, but without doing so, it just seems to lose steam and momentum. Should I just sit back and hope that she comes around or should I be somewhat proactive about this?

Thanks,
RM

Masanova's picture

Hey Chase or whomever,
I really enjoy your articles, and I've even purchased your book. It's a good read and I recommend it to those who want to have more success in the dating arena. Anywho, I had one question that keeps poppin up in my head. This whole rewarding women when they invest in you. Im not sure I fully understand how to reward them. How should I go about doing this exactly?
Thank you again.

Anonymous's picture

Masanova -

Your question (How to reward women for investment) was directed to Chase, but seeing it unanswered, I will attempt a response to clarify the issue for you and others wondering.

You reward women for investment with positivity and reinforcement. Take her expectations into account. In Chase's example, a woman lifts her hand to show you jewelry or offers you an item. As he states, always compliment the jewelry and warmly receive the gift. But positivity can be more or less of an investment on your part. Maybe a better phrase for the concept would be 'investment reciprocation' - when she lifts her hand to show you the jewelry (after you intentionally asked her to show it to you), you can take her hand and move it slightly closer to your eyes and thus closer to you, for example. (In my experience, initiating investment on her part is a good technique to then escalate to whatever the next phase of your encounter is. You grab her hand as the first time you make explicit physical contact. How is she going to deny the escalation? It's a natural and subtle occurence in your encounter.)

Rewarding investment is applicable to almost any situation, though. It's not limited to the above example. I have seen Chase mention a great technique on a few posts (I just found the site yesterday, more on this in a minute) - make the girl physically move with you. But what do you do once she is moving (above delivering the explicit advantage you offered for moving 'less noise', etc.)? You reward her movement with a smile, receptive body language (walk with her, preferably touching her), and maybe a mischievous amd not too subtle peek at the way she looks now that she is moving.

Once again, the concept is broader than the specific example. It's all about reciprocating her active investment with your reactive, less explicit, re-investment.

I think. According to my experience.

I am not nearly the professional that Chase is, however, and, as I am simply applying my own thoughts to HIS advice, I will enthusiastically receive any corrections he may offer.

Found this site yesterday. Chase, you know how gravity always worked before Newton explained it, but the explanation added a whole new level of intrigue to the phenomenon? You are like the Newton of intentionally causing women to want you. You even created a a term for it, which
which cleverly includes your name. Fucking genius.

Hope you don't mind me dropping a little (attempted) clarification to your idea. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the site so far. I think you do more for men with game than for those without, even your very basic fundamentals. Your attention to detail is marvelous, and you really challenge men to pay attention to even the less glamorous (more important) aspects of interacting with and being desirable to women.

Good stuff, Chase.

Xpoyllur's picture

mr chase i lyk wat u r doin here to say the truth reading this stuff makes gettin girls easy ive been seeing a couple of girls 3 to be exact it was more lyk a personal experiment to figure out girls n in all three of them i landed in the friendzone now i came see a common pattern in all three of these n that was i never made these women perfectly jealous 2 spike their attraction i read ur page on jealousy heck its what brought me here in the first place but i really nid 2 master this art seeing as seducing a girl without making her feel jealous will make her take you 4 grantd so i was asking 4 evrythng u knw bout making girls jealous dirty tricks and texts included n how 2 control it so that it doesnt become a bad habit most of all various categories if any btw im a rookie or recoverin afc n kinda a perfectionist so i hope im not askin too much.

Q's picture

Wats up chase. I just started college. I met this cute girl at orientation. Summer school just started and shes in my class. I quickly got acquainted with her. I got her number. We always joke around and i get her to take tests with me walk with me etc. She even showed me videos of her sexy and drunk. We always enjoy each other and shes always touching me when we joke and cice versa. I tried to get her to hang with me this weekend but shes resisting saying she has things to do. What do i do? I like her and the attractions there as she always xomes up to make and talks to me and i know she likes when im around. I have known her for a week and a half and im trying to move fast but it doesnt look like im getting anywhere.

Anonymous's picture

Just wanted to say I loved this particular page especially the chat dialogue. Stuff like that is gold to guys like me. I've done well with women without having to try that hard but after ending a very long relationship have found myself in a rut I'm trying to get out of.

Blue_Haze's picture

Chase framing is something I do naturally. I definitely respect that you made this post because it is very unique. I do have some things to add though.

The sexual humor examples are impersonal. My approach is that I make my sexual humor directly involving the girl and myself from the get go. I will ask her what she thinks about open-minded people, then I will say that most people are closed off about topics like sex. Then I'll ask her if she is open-minded. If she says yes (usually) then she is agreeing to talking about sex with me. Then I make jokes about her watching porn or having fantasies. It's all playful and gets her thinking about sex with me.

As for investment, I think you have the same idea as me. Make them put in a lot so that your value goes up in their eyes. Now you are a sexual object of desire.

Thanks,

BlueHaze

Timothy's picture

in the realm of over providing good feelings, how much comedic genius is too much?

are comedians more inclined to make women swoon than say an artist?

Anonymous's picture

Hi,
I've been reading around for quite a long time and I thought you might answer this one.
I love a girl. Its as simple (and as complicated) as that!
She is communicative and likes a good joke, but keeps herself at a distance when it comes to "relationship". Otherwise, she is friendly, flirty, cool and likes to keep on speaking with me. We are and have been good friends for some time now, and I want to take it one step further.

As I told you before, she stays away from the "relationship" stuff almost, always. It's as if she closes up as soon as the word "love" comes up.

When it comes to me I know I'm good looking, attractive, a bit grim, a bit funny and ambitious and I fail to see what I am missing.
I can't manage to stop thinking about her and I DONT want to stop thinking about her because she makes my day fun, happy and full!

There are other girls who fall for me, but they DONT have what she has (emotionally/mentally)...

Do you know how I can get THIS girl who likes me the way I am to fall for me?? I've proposed her once and she went haywire after which I managed to calm her down and she was really angry with me. She was in a relationship previously and according to her, she really liked that guy but HE didn't care about her. I DO. HELP please!

Thanks.

Gabe's picture

Hi Chase,

Man, thanks so much for your articles. I have a question. So I met this chic last Friday, things were going good, I got her number, called her 3 days later but she didn't have a Voice message set up so I sent her a text. It went something like this:

"Hey ___ whats up, it's Gabe, you know Redondo Beach, I.E Iron man, Gundamn style lol (The reason I wrote this is because that was what we talked about). I wanted to know if your down to chill, drink jager (her favorite drink) lol. Hit me up"

She replied a day later "Whats up Iron man sorry for texting you back later"

I responded 3 hours later "Whats up ____ No worries. I saw something at the store that reminded me of you: Jager lol"

Since than no response. Um shoudl i have written something else? Did I do anything wrong? I'm usually a pretty natural funny guy and easy to get along with. However, I do miss my "player" days where i was a little more intriguing, mysterious etc. Any advice on the next step and how to improve?

rob's picture

Chase, your my hero dude!!! keep doing what you do broski!!!!
best wishes,
Rob

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
I thought this was a really interesting post with a lot of very useful stuff in here! So anyways, they problem I'm having is that I'm talking to this shy girl, who is also very prude and not very flirty. We're both in highschool and I was just wondering what advice you could throw my way on how to sort of get her to "open up" a little more.
Thanks again for all the great articles, keep up the good work man

Nigradomus's picture

Hey Chase,
I have been trying to improve my face-to-face and text flirting abilities, and found it easy to gauge investment when face-to-face, but while texting a women I am clueless as to if I am getting anywhere. If you could please go more in depth on the topic of investment and compliance. Otherwise, I have to thank you for the rest of the advice.

chaosflaw's picture

Your posts are really great, Chase, keep it up.
Been reading the website and a lot of the stuff you say is what already feels natural to me, SPECIALLY this post here. Good to know I've been doing the right thing.
I've got a friend who was not only bad with women, but with people in general, and I always saw that as him not knowing what to do in a practical way. I tried to show him, but my words made no sense to him. Then I sent the guy your website, and I'm seeing his potential show up and his mentality changing little by bit (and it's been only three days!); thank you for that, too!

Starbuck's picture

I'll have to say that after graduating from the school of hard knocks and reviewing much of what's out there concerning PUA/Seduction arts over the past 10 years, and having moderated a few forums on the subject for the benefit of the younger, less experienced guys among us (who I didn't want to make the same mistakes and miss wasted opportunities like I did in my younger days).

Chase's stuff is without question the best and most complete I've seen.

Anonymous's picture

Interesting article but I don't quite understand how you get her to invest in you in the first place? And how do you get her to keep investing? If you reward her every time she invests couldn't she just sort of get bored and go find someone else? How can she be chasing you if you let her catch you every time?
Thanks!

Joey's picture

Wow I've been doing this naturally for years, the only thing I've noticed that I was missing was noticing her investments and responding accordingly. These really help a lot man, I couldn't thank you enough. On a different note, I never had trouble getting girls to notice me or anything, in fact they usually noticed me before I noticed them. But I've always wondered why I lose them. This site has given me tons of "well duhh that's why she left" moments lol. Hopefully with some practice, ill turn losing a girl that I had into such a rarity that I'll be surprised by it haha. Anyways, thanks again man, I've been reading these for some time now and decided to drop a comment for once.

Ryan3013's picture

This sounds a lot like what Hank Moody often does in the TV show "Californication." I found myself almost intuitively using that style of game as a model for a while( and even currently) without really knowing what it was or how it was defined. It WORKS. To anyone not familiar with the show, it is a great representation of this concept, as well as others that pertain to being good with girls. It's also just a highly entertaining/quality show. One of my favorites

New member here, and this is one of my favorite articles so far. I find this kind of framing to be not only useful and practical, but a LOT of fun too. Self Amusement can be a powerful tool

Cheers,
Ryan

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