Social Status: Building It and Using It | Girls Chase

Social Status: Building It and Using It

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

social statusSocial status: it's more than just something you get or don't get, have or don't have. Lots of people don't see it that way, though; they tend to think of social status as simply a dividing line between the people who are "in" and the people who are "out."

The line, though, is not so clear. And even within the "in" and "out" groups, you can point out distinctions: the guy in the "in" group who's really only in it because he has some connection people need, otherwise they wouldn't include him at all; the girl who's "in" more than her girlfriends, who are kind of just along for the ride with her. The guy who's "out" but still has connections in the "in" group and only seems to be "out" by choice. The girl who's "out" and so far "out" it seems impossible she could be anything else, because that's how she chooses to define herself.

Then there are the people who seem to step around conventional social status entirely; the ones who exude intrinsic status and can flow seamlessly among groups and be included quickly and easily wherever they see fit. These are the people we're talking about when we talk about ultimate social calibration; these are the folks who've stepped off the ladder and come up with a different way for moving socially.

Because as it turns out, there's more than one way you can build and maintain and use social status, and climbing up the social ladder of the closest "scene" is only one of those.

Let's start by talking about what status is good for.

Comments

Max Ikbal's picture

Hey Chase,

Exhaustive article and well-written, but too much theory in my opinion. More real life examples, or even stories to elaborate the points would have been nice. Just something to consider for future articles.

Cheers!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Max, thanks for the kind words, and for the feedback. I usually do aim for throwing in enough examples to flesh the theory out; guess I got a little top-heavy on theory in this one.

Look for a post with more solid social circle examples at some point in the not-too-distant future!

Chase

Dale's picture

Firstly, Awesome site Chase, a lot of good reading and nice tips to utilize. I would just like to add a little bit to the section on being interested in others. I never knew about intrinsic social status until I read this article. I find it very easy to move between groups of people, and even becoming a 'part' of their group with little effort by understanding everyone is different and being alert to those differences.

With each of my different groups of friends (and others out there) I have to remember they have a difference in humour, interests, likes, dislikes, careers, girlfriends, drinking culture, fashion etc etc etc. When you're meeting a new group of people I find it great to be like a fly on the wall, sponging all available information I can, while still being social. Find out the dynamic of the group, who's who, relationship situations, likes, dislikes. I find this helps break down those that can be negative towards a new person hanging around, and also utilizes the Law of Least Effort for the ladies of the group.

Doing abit of research on the likes of the group (eg if they like local music, find out a few tid bits. This will get them talking easier, you learning more info to use, and finally, you honestly seeming like you're interested in them) and building you humour gauged to their sense of humour can make sure the next time your meeting up they seem you as the cool, interesting, new guy they will want around.

And lastly, I find leaving periods of time between groups keeps their interest up in you.

Hope this makes sense

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase, great site, great article. Could you discuss more about warmth? You discuss it quite often, but you could dive into this topic more in-depth? It's a powerful tool to use in all aspects of life, so your breakdown of this would be much appreciated!

Thanks

Anonymous's picture

A person with social grace, confidence, and interest in others (manifested by conversational ability and warmth) combined with an attitude that one's circumstances doesn't define his/her place in society has intrinsic social status in my eyes. Furthermore, nothing is more impressive than a person that fulfills goals according to genuine personal values as opposed to winning a rat race. Easier said than done of course, but the alternative is toxic if you look at the neuro-chemically addictive properties of seeking status and wealth (think of the things people have and will conceivably do to appear high value, and think of what drives markets to sell products on the basis of brand or aesthetic as opposed to functionality).

You're sites use of evolutionary psychology in the context of mate selection shows your keen sense of what goes on behind our heads when we talk to people (male or female really). This is a cool website.

Ali's picture

I hope that have understand the concept well to be able to give an example from my own life :

To be honest I can feel this theory is somewhat true. Well, I'm currently president of one of the national societies at my uni and this has earned me extrinsic social status with good advantages. I found this status useful in helping me in becoming part of different groups within the society and even in finding a girlfriend.

But now, it looks like the time gap has passed and with the incoming of new students and members to the society, I'm becoming less and less well- known. I've found that some of my friends or even people in the society who are not around much but just come to our parties have a greater success in terms of being welcomed in groups and being attractive to woman.

What I thought at first was wrong. Just Becoming president of a society may not be good enough since the status will change after some time and won't stay forever just like intrinsic social status.

tl;dr: This is an example that extrinsic social status might not be enough for taking advantage of social situations and being attractive to woman. Intrinsic status however, has a greater impact on how good people view you and how attractive you are to women and within a society.

Anonymous's picture

What about guys that girls find sexy yet are not warm or anything. I'm thinking people like Wolverine, or James Bond in some versions or Dante from the Devil May Cry series. These are all men who are considered bad boys and very sexy, and while they are stylish, have good fundamentals, and are direct, are not warm or very much interested in others. They are very byronic, and how does that factor in to this. Also in your byronic man post, how do you get girls to want to peel back the layers and think about them versus just saying oh whatever i dont care. I have a sort of bad boy vibe going but its not very warm or conversational. I find i have to trade that bad boy vibe for warmth, I cant reconcile them.

Oh Pry's picture

Just recently posted a thread on it in your forum since it is something that has always been consuming me but after going on Google and searching for it, little did I know you just posted about it, thank you!

Chase, there has been something about status which continues to evade me and that is the objectivity of it all. In your school days, it was so objective you know. You were around the same people and you knew who was on top and who wasn't. You knew who the popular kids were and you knew who the losers were. College even made it easier for you with things such as Greek Life, it was all about following the alcohol and the hot girls.

In the real world, I am left scratching my head. I guess it's because as someone who studied finance, I am not that good at dealing with the abstract. Everything has to make sense or be put in a diagram for me, some sort of an order to where I can understand it.

I have a tough time telling who the heavy hitters are in regards to women and social value outside of the obvious celebrities or how the whole popularity game as they call it even works when you're no longer in school. So many adults swear about how people after school are "too mature" for all of that which makes it even more confusing.

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