Mixed Signals from a Girl: What These Mean

Hi all, so Ive been reading all the posts here, and figured I'd get on board with this perplexing question of why women ignore us after showing interest. I am currently in this EXACT situation.here's my story.

Ive been single for what seems like an eternity, so i decided to post an ad on a dating site, within 2 days i received a simple message from a woman that appeared to be interested. I replied to her message and eventually we exchanged numbers and began texting one another, this was a week before Christmas and at that time we had made plans to meet that Friday, however she was sending me pictures of herself at her office on Thursday during an office Christmas party, enticing me to come to her place of employment and indulge in the festivities, needless to say i was completely on board and did show up.The sparks were immediate and we hit it off great.The evening progressed with us drinking and talking and totally enjoying each other's company eventually leading to her and I having a sexual encounter.The next day, she came and visited me at work for lunch and we spent an hour together, kissed her as she left and told her id see her that evening. That night (the night of our planned date) she backed out due to the fact that she claimed her dog had broken out of it's kennel and destroyed her house. Feeling bad, as this has happened to alot of us im sure, i told her "no worries we can do a rain check" after that she lost contact for a week, literally ignoring texts, or simply giving 1 and 2 word replies where a week earlier she was talking and texting almost non stop.I questioned her initially and asked if she had lost interest following our short time together. She claimed that she had not and gave me another excuse, and again i bit. Again i was ignored for another week until i had just given up.Out of the blue she decides to call me and invites me over on New Years eve. I go over and at first she's a little flirty and tells me, and i quote " You just like me because i challenge you" my reply? " Yeah you challenge me, but you drive me crazy too and for some reason i like it"on into the new year we go, and suddenly i'm on the outside looking in again. This has been going on for a month and its been so draining that im not even sure what to make of it anymore.I really like her but im at my wits end. Is she just playing me? Is there an actual attraction but shes afraid to stick her neck out? i really wish i knew so i could get a little closure, the hard part to this is the complete lack of communication until she feels like im worthy of it and just when i think its done, she contacts me!! HELP!!! I need answers, im now talking to another woman, which has helped take my mind off of her, but she contacted me again today and i dont know what to make of it.Ultimately this woman is my soul mate but something just isnt right with this and ill be damned if i know what, even talking to this new girl cant ease my mind with whats happening and i dont know what to do.

I was dating this lady. She about four years ago. We were intimate a few times. She was going to school and was trying to finish her degree. At some point she started to break away. I felt this and tried to increase my pursuit as she is the old fashion type. She would always complain that I was not taking the initiative with her. Maybe she was right, however, I seemed to get very irritated with what I saw as games. Nevertheless, she told me to stop contacting her. I did.

When I stopped pursuing her it was almost immediately, say 4 weeks later she started to show interested but I backed off and she increased her actions (sometimes subtle other times more obvious). I played it cool and just was very cordial when I saw her. I was respectful, "good morning, how are you?" with a nice smile. But I could see that she was getting a little frustrated but it kept her in the pocket.

She started dating someone else. At some point we finally had a conversation and she started telling me in code words how she was single and what she had been doing. Her ex-boyfriend was no good etc. I again played it cool. I must say I was rather hurt the first time she broke it off so I was cautious.

I am straight forward with her. If she is acting crazy then I will tell her and she does nothing but agree. She has told me that she wants to have a family one day, throwing little hints. Stating that I am a good dad. She has expressed thing to my female friends about how nice I am. (My female friend is married, she knows that no problem there). We had a little disagreement and I respectfully did not kiss her *ss. She seemed to respect that .
About two weeks ago she text me and asked me if I wanted to get together. I went to her house and we talked. She asked me weather I was dating anyone I stated I had some friends in the past. She asked me why do guys not pursue the one good girl and instead talk to four girls at a time? She asked me weather or not I wanted to have more kids? She then talked about the old fashion days when the men pursued women.

She invited me into her bed room and we almost had sex but we didn't. Mostly because I did not have a condom.

Lastly, I think I might be in the dog house now. I was asked to accompany her to traffic court the week before. I agreed. the day before I confirmed with her and told her we would go to lunch afterwards. She agreed. Later in the day she text me the following:

Her: My old roomate is coming. I'm so nervous.

Me: Why, I will be there with you. No need to worry.

Her: she will also, I'll be fine

Me: I understand Good Luck.

I made an incorrect judgement. I assumed that she wanted to go with her friend only and it was her way saying she did not want me there. I realize that now. I did not show up.

I went to see her and told her I wanted to speak with her . She was on her way out. I told her I wanted to speak about what happened.

Thats where I am right now.

Does she have feelings for me?

Have I blown it?

I want to pursue she has some good qualities. Should I have a real talk with her and tell her lets get things rolling?

Help me out with this one

So this girl at my school, was giving me some pretty string signals, and I kind of shied away a bit from them. Well now that I finally had the balls to ask her out she told me in almost the exact same way you described here. "I'll let you know, thanks for inviting me!"

Now the window for her to get back to me hasn't passed yet but I'm worried I've screwed things up with this girl already.

Does it sound like she isn't into it? If she does say yes, how can I escalate things with her during the date? We are going on a hike and then for a meal, supposedly.

Thanks.

I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically got this girl's number, asked her out the following week. She said yes, made plans. The day of she said she was going to bring a friend and if that was ok, if not she completely understood and we could reschedule. I debated what to do but eventually said f*** it and agreed. We met for drinks, and it went well. After she suggested we go to the local bars and I agreed. While in the bar another friend joined (which I wasn't stoked on but it was going well so didn't care).

Anyway, the friend's loved me, one specifically said "I don't care if he's 24, he's hot and sensitive and I really approve". I was really vibe-ing with my date too. Within 20-30 minutes of being at the bar we made out. After we went to get another drink and she held my hand on the way to the bar. Back at the booth she was all over me, leg on mine, hands on my chest, etc… So as the night goes on we continued to talk and flirt. When she went to the bathroom at one point her friend asks if I liked her, I said yes, she proceeded to tell me that my date was not "easy" so don't expect anything like that.
At around 1:00 she asked if wanted to get another drink, I respectfully declined as I didn't want to get hammered for various reasons but said I'd go with her to the bar.

At the bar she starts chatting with a different friend, at which point it felt somewhat awkward so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I returned she was gone.

I luckily found the friend (who had given me the verbal approval earlier) and asked if she knew where my date was. She said no so I suggested she text her (I had texted my date with no response 5 minutes before). My date immediately responds to the friend saying, "I went next door to BAR X, but don't bring my date." Needless to say I was PISSED.

I went next door and confronted her. She said many things about not being tied down, etc, etc, but I feel this was just an excuse.

Anyway, I really liked this girl and it was heart breaking for days. My question is did I do something wrong or is she simply a crazy b****?

*Also, the approving friend texting 3 days later saying sorry it didn't work out with my date but she wanted to hang out sometime

If you could give any insight it would be most appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read

Hey, Chase! Question: [b]What's the point in step 2, asking her out? Wouldn't getting compliance from her and moving her be good enough, than instead of asking her out, smoothly escalate physically, then just like...pick her up (physically) and haul her off to step 3.[/b] In this scenario it would be a bar or some playful environment.

[b]What do you think?[/b] It just seems like asking her out would give her a perfect opportunity to hem and haw, and say maybe. I'm not saying step 2 is pointless (I can't, you're like Yoda, you're skill is far superior to mine), but with more advanced girls, this seems like an additional step.

Hopefully you read this and have good insight for me.

Other wise, I'm going to do this without any hesitation, and I'm going all the way, so maybe you can save me from getting into a fight with a knight in shinning armor.

All the best,

Godsninja

So I met this girl at a bar and got her number. We started texting each other a lot and we went out on a date. She was completely into me, gave several hints of me being actually above her league, we made out, and a date that was supposed to end at midnight ended at 6am. The very next day she texted me saying she wasn’t doing anything and wanted to see me. I had to work that day so I slept 1 hour between 6 to 7, and worked until 5pm so I was pretty much dead. I met her up regardless, we had dinner and all around 10 I started getting really tired so I couldn’t flow the conversation much, so I just went for a kiss and we did kiss, but I could tell she was hesitant, like backing off, the night ended early she said she was tired because she needed to be at work next day (im sure she would have stayed up later than that). After I got home, I told her to call me when she gets there, she said Im really tired I had fun. we will talk tomorrow I had fun. Good night.
I could tell she was being a little cold, and I know that had to do with the second day, I kind of messed that one up – shouldn’t have gone with no sleep… Anyways, we kept texting every day but she made one excuse to hang out another day, and when asked if she wanted to hang out on a Saturday, she said maybe it’s a possibility, throughout the whole time, she still was texting me, while she had dinner with her friends and what not. Anyways, a week after that I went to Europe for ten days, she still kept in touch wanting to see how I was doing through texts and stuff. She had an issue with her ex and I helped talk some sense into it, she said I was the best etc, always complimenting. I have been pretty nice to this girl.
I got back, and we planned on getting a massage together (her idea) and also I was going to help her with an exam, we had planned on weekend but they didn’t have schedule, so we planned for a Monday and tues.
On one of the texts, she started talking about how annoying some guy was, and that he was trying to talk to her. I asked if he had gone out w/ him she said 5 times and that she wanted him to have her sleep over his place but she said she wouldn’t and it was annoying, and that she thought he was using her. A couple mins after she said she ended it with him, also asked if they slept together she said no but he tried. Anyways on that same day she stopped replying me and she had said (way before) that she was sick and wanted to go to bed. We didn’t talk sat, or sun, but Sunday she went out and came back at like 4am. She didn’t text me and neither did I, even tho we had planned on going out on Monday. Monday (today) I sent over a txt she said she was sick, feeling really bad still, even tho she went out on Sunday. She asked if we could reschedule, her words, I know but im so sick I just wanna lay here ugh can we just do another day when im not sick. I asked what about tues for the test, want to cancel too? She said let me see how I feel and we will talk. I said get better she said thanks we will talk later.

Anyways, I want to know if this girl is full of shit or what? Did she go cold on me and its going for the easy let go, or is she still thinking about working things with me? I don’t know this for sure, but this girl is pretty cute and gets a lot of attention, she seems to be dating several guys at the same time, but who knows for sure. Also that guy that she said she ended, she told me that she started seeing him around the same time as she saw me, and I know for sure that she has slept at his place before. Is she playing me to keep me around while going out with this guy? Any advise is helpful.

This is all good advice and I'd like to add that sometimes women send mixed signals because they're afraid of being judged/labelled as whores if they're all over somebody. I've seen it in women ages 18 to 81.

So there is this girl that I like, and I'm pretty sure she likes me too. So lately I have been giving her rides home from work, and each time I dropped her off she seems to take her time getting out from the car like she expected something. I thought maybe she wanted to kiss since sometimes when we text she likes giving me kisses. So one day I sent her a text like "you know I forgot to get my good bye kiss the other time". She replied "why me?" and I replied "because I like you", and then she goes on saying "I can't kiss a friend it wouldn't be right". That's when I got confuse because prior to that she seems like she was into me like she would flirt and stuff. I even asked her straight up if she liked me and she said yes a lot. Now she saying "I'm looking for a serious relantinship but not now...". I honestly don't know what's up with her now. I'm pretty sure something is up or maybe I did something wrong without knowing.

Chase, please help me understand what is happening here, a cute girl I have worked with for a few years and have spent a lot of time with (work drinks, parties etc) and we have even had a few lunches together (she never says no when I ask her) and she has been getting well I guess emotional with me lately.

Other co-workers have told me that see it's quite obvious that she likes me and they see her looking at me a lot during the day and that our eyes light up when we see each other.

We did a course together today and I noticed that she was very nervous around me and wasn't too impressed when I jokingly told her that the tutor was flirting with me (she definitely was, she put her hand on my back and shoulder every time she came to my desk and was always touching her hair while looking at me).

Anyway, she got really annoyed at me and told me during a break that we need to talk but this wasn't the right time, so I just kept it civil for the rest of the day but she was acting cold, fidgety and nervous around me.

I waited outside for her and she told me that she felt that I didn't appreciate her helping me out, which wasn't the case at all.

I was very sore after a heavy gym session and wasn't in the greatest of moods, she also said to me that she didn't appreciate being told that she ignored me for a few days last week, so I explained it, I said Hi to you, smiled at you for 3 days straight and got ignored and others saw it too.

I was confused as to why?...she again said that she was busy, I asked her if there was anything else and she looked down at the ground and said no...now keep in mind that this same girl once told me that she wasn't going to talk about another co-worker with me any more (who apparently likes me, but I heard it from her and Friend and not the girl herself so I don't pay attention to it.) she gave the same look when I mentioned this girl the other week and if my instincts are right (they usually are) I think this was the around the same time that her Friend decided to tell me that her Friend liked me.

I get on really well with this girl and I'd say we are quite close and there has been a lot of positive body language from her and she is forever playing with her hair around me...but it does feel like I am in relationship with her just without the romance...how do I play this now?

What do you think about a far less socially graceful approach?

--where the guy plays no games
-does not work to escalate slowly or chase but goes after women he is interested in with full
Force , lets them know he wants them --- kind of a barbaric, unapologetic
Take what you want , its now or never dynamic. Force the feminine energy to submit (figuratively of course) rather than engage in coy feminine games. Dating etc. Shock and awe--
This type of approach with women fits my sexuality like a glove--
What do you think of it?

Hi Chase,

I got this message from a girl I have known for a few years from work and have spent a lot of time with (lunches, drinking etc.) I have always stated that we are good Friends but there is obviously some attraction between us and I have never come on to her, sure there have been some flirty exchanges between us and my co-workers often tell me that she looks at me a lot during the day when I'm not looking.

She recently told me that she wanted to keep her distance from me for a while and I respected that and gave it to her, she ended up coming out drinking last Friday night and it was very awkward, she ended up sending me a text, saying "why are you making it awkward, we can still be around each other right?

Then this message last night...

'It was just very recently I started feeling uncomfortable it's not like it's been months and months, it's been a matter of weeks. And I did tell you as soon as I thought it was getting to be a problem.

But as I have said before, I have no on going issues with you as long as we keep our relationship at a friend level. Like we were before. Is that what you want?!'

Why is she asking me if that is what I want?

and why can she not explain this?

I asked her to meet up for coffee so we could have a chat because things were getting weird between us and she told me that she would feel uncomfortable being alone with me,

'Why would you feel uncomfortable being alone with me?'

"Arghhh I don't know how to explain it (she used my name here)'

I feel like she isn't being straight with me and is uncomfortable with and discussing her feelings?, people often ask me what is going on with us and when I don't talk to her at work sometimes, she does so many things to get my attention.

What puzzles me the most is that often when girls tell a guy that they are uncomfortable then they don't want to be around the guy, but she always tell me that she doesn't have any problem or issues with me and she makes it known at work that she is fine with me, so what is with all of the confusing and mixed messages from her?

I have been working with a woman for about 4 months and she has a boyfriend and I am married. I am 31 and she is 21. She is supper flirty to the point she has said on several occasions we should meet in the back room and have sex. We have never touched eachother but a few weeks ago we texted with eachother late and we ended up exchanging several naked pictures. The next day she said she loves her boyfriend and it cant happen again. The very next shift we worked together she went right back to her old ways of flirting. She now sends me texts and pictures that are very flirty then will randomly send me a picture of her boyfriend says something like love that guy or hes great. She always follows it up with some sort of flirty text or a picture of her kissing the screen. We have not had another night of nakedpictures. Not sure what it all means or what I should do to move it forward or stop it. Oh she will text me probably 30 times a day.

Hi Chase, I am in a group of 9 people that has a very close working relationship. I fell head over heels in love with one of the members of our group. She was the youngest in our group (she is 21, I am 41). I am a bona fide bachelor by the way. I started having feelings for her 5 months ago. Although I tried to be cool about is because I don't want to cause any untoward disruptions in our working relationship.

We kinda like to talk a lot because we have the same interest and enjoy each others company. Then after a while I started giving her small items like candy bars or snacks. I sometimes make her coffee too. For a short while when these giving and coffee making happened almost everyday she started treating me coldly. So I stopped doing anything for her...then a few days later, she was back to her old jolly bubbly self to me.

I tried to be the best to her as much as I can and it seems like we are becoming pretty good friends. Although she is also very friendly and bubbly to the rest of the guys - the leader of the group made it very clear not to mess with the girl because all of them except me are married.

One time we had a friendly argument about a certain topic and I lost the argument. Laughing so hard, I kinda said awkwardly if she wants to have dinner with me that evening. I was most definitely surprised that she said yes. And we had a great time.

Ever since then, we kept in touch via text message if we are not at work. Nothing very serious yet, and I have yet to tell her clearly what I feel for her.

The last time we were at work, the group got into a joking mood and everyone was teasing everyone. Then after a few minutes, our group leader started to ask everyone for a snack at a nearby burger stand. The leader said that she will treat the girl (we are still waiting for our next pay) but the girl politely refused. At the time this happened I was at the bathroom. When I came out, the group leader told me to that we will go out on a snack at the burger stand. I said, "ok, my treat." The girl heard me and said with a funny grin on her face, "hey I want a hotdog and a pineapple juice man!" Then leader says, "how do you like that! When I was offering to treat her, she refused, but when you did, she asked for a hotdog!" Then everyone started laughing.

A while ago this afternoon, I (again very casually) told her about a movie I want to see and asked her if it's ok with her if she wants to see it with me. She replied immediately that she wants to see the movie so I made plans on where to meet up. Then she said that there was an activity in her school that got her very tired and said she could not make it. I then texted her if it will be ok to see the movie tomorrow. I texted her twice - no reply. I got a bit impatient and called her phone - twice - no reply. As I type this I am kinda panicking maybe I annoyed her for being that "persistent" for an answer.

I want to know if this is a mixed signal? Or something worse? I have already fallen over her. Since her mixed signals, is it still worth it to pursue her? I hope to get some advice as I am already getting confused about this situation I am in.......

Thanks and good day!
Dazed & Confused

I am 62 years old and I recently reconnected with a woman who 35 years ago I was interested in dating. She was seeing another guy but they broke up and she and I were going to get together but her boyfriend came back into the picture and they married. I lost track of both of them 20 years ago....recently I saw her in a local diner several times but she would ignore me so I just figured she was not interested...then she came up to me and wanted to talk and she told me was not married (she was playing around with my arm) so I decided to see if she would like to meet for coffee or drinks...long story short I asked her to have a coffee with me or meet for drinks only to be told she is living with someone! she loved me asking her (her face lights up when she sees me) She told me "you never know what will happen and if her situation changes she would contact me" she also asked me not to reveal this to anyone!

I am not sure what to make of this and she is nearly impossible to reach..she also seems to be sneaking around to talk with me. Not sure what to make of this? Any ideas? btw this is the second woman out of my past who has done something like this to me,,,,they are very young looking mid to late 50 year old women...how to do handle this situation?

Hello,I am so lost about this whole situation with my EX. We dated for about a year and I was her first boyfriend. She is 27 and I am 30. She is established and is a school teacher and I am a tutor right now working to be a teacher also. She was afraid of my drive and ambition to be a teacher and she said it turned her off. The only problem was she never was really up front about it. The only reason I knew something was wrong was she came over here and just started balling her eyes out. Now let me remind you also that we are in no shape or form ready to even more in together, we both leave in separate towns and she is actually moving home in September to save money. But she keeps bringing up the fact that she is scared nervous anxious for the future together and I think she is scared that I wont succeed. Her previous men in her life were random hookups at bars and the last serious guy was for 2 months and he cheated on her. she says she feels safe with me and loves me and wants me to be the one in the end but right now she needs to work on herself and not drag me along. I feel like she is giving me mixed signals and I dont want to move on from her. She also says she cant promise me she will be around after she finds herself. She is seeking therapy this week and I am hoping that she will see the light after those sessions. She cant even pinpoint why she broke up with me, she never wanted to work on things together and now she just wants to be by herself and work on her and not us. I chalk it up for never being in a relationship but anything I say or do right now wont change her mind so I am letting her be. I also want her to be the one in the end but I dont know what to do. Please help

i met this girl in varsity I approached her twice I went for the number close the second time around we had an okay conversation nothing special I didn't get her number left things at that two months later I find she is checking me out on many occasions so I tried to test the waters by saying hi and she was cold I don't understand this....

There's a woman who works in an office that I visit routinely. We've interacted with each other for 2-3 years, but never anything serious. We have however had fun conversations, where we banter back and forth. She's 27, and married. She's been married for about 2 years now, and with her guy for 5 years. I've always found her attractive, but assumed she was not available for me. Then, I started noticing things about her behavior with me. She always smiles when she sees me, sometimes that slow smile, and looks into my eyes when we talk. One day another member of our crew visited the office instead of me. She asked him if I was coming by. Since then, my friends have been convinced she's interested in me, though I've always denied it. Then, I decided I'd test the waters some. I'm too timid to ask for her number, but did send her a direct message through Instagram. We had a brief conversation, but she quit replying. I've even sent different messages (not the harassing "why aren't you responding kind) on different topics to try and engage her, but she seldom responds. I took this as a sign of non attraction, so I stopped messaging her. I saw her again last week. When she saw me the usual banter started. When she started talking to another co-worker, I ducked out of the office. She followed me out, and offered to escort me to where I was heading (I accepted). Naturally, I took this as a big sign of attraction, and sent her another message, just trying to socialize. Nothing. She seems to be into me when I'm around, but then "out of sight, out of mind."

From reading your article, I want to say that she's either #1 or #3, but I'm not sure. I'm sure she knows full well I have a crush on her. I'm not good at hiding those emotions. I'd like to think she's not just toying with me, as this started before I really had developed feelings for her. As I'm sure you can tell, I"m not a very confident guy, especially with women. What's your advice? Should I just go for it, and tell her what I think, or just let her walk into the sunset?

Ok, i have been out of the game along time. It started flirting with a co-worker, we talk on a daily bases and ranges from everyday life and one another kids to sex. She has sent me pic of her self of the special nature as well as normal ones, i have layed with her once and was fun. Since then more pics moretalking so on so forth. Then she will text me "rember don't fall for me", and im like dont worry won't happen. However the talking is always playful and fun and at night sexual. Guess i just want to know is she really into me and dont want to be hurtor am i just a friend with benefits? How to be more than that.

Hey, I loved the article and it gave some great insight.

I have a situation that I am hoping to get some help on. I started hanging out with a girl my good friends wife started bringing around. We mostly do group hangouts and she has a boyfriend. The relationship sounds pretty bad and my friends wife as well as her best friend want her to break up with him. She has even admitted that it's a terrible relationship but she isn't ready to just walk away after 2 years.

She has shown clear interest through flirty texting and lots of physical contact with dancing, hand holding and other touching.

One Saturday we hung out and held hands etc. then were flirting very heavily late into the night even talking about sleeping together. Immediately after that her communication got scarce and I barely heard from her until Wednesday. We talked a little bit and then she brought up her boyfriend and said she was hanging out with him that night.

I would put her in the 3rd category and want to know if you can provide any suggestions for moving things forward and seeing if I can help make her mind up about leaving her boyfriend.

Chase,

A lot of these things make sense and I'm happy you posted. But, I can't decipher my situation because this girl is either overly into me and scared, or I'm getting played. Heres the situation:

I've seen this girl for roughly 4 months. Shes got a lot going on, and the past month has been nothing but mixed signals and confusion. I was away at work a week after I met her for three weeks. She face timed me, called me several times a day, texted, snap chatted, the works. I got home, she picked me up from the airport, wore my favorite dress, she was killing it.

She got distant from work, school and everything else she was doing. On top of it all, she works with her ex's new girlfriend and she harrasses her with mean comments. Shes told me she's not ready for a relationship, but wants to spend time with me, visit me, have me sleep over, nothing had changed.

I got into a perdicament with her because she was upset about something I commented on, she said it was a major turn off. She said she didn't want a relationship then, she still doesn't want one now. So I ended it, simple as that.

She bombarded me with phone calls, text messages, even went out of her way to call my roommate to keep me in her life. Thats a whole lot of effort if she really doesn't want anything from me. I don't know whats going on, where I stand, how she feels about me. Shes not romantic, thats for sure, and thats fine, but It'd be cool to have some answers.

Hi,

My girlfriend left me 2 months ago after 3 years relationship, I did no contact for 1 month and then contact her. Its been 2 weeks now that we talk casually and all our conversation are positive without entering in deep subject like our breakup. She ask how I was doing bla bla bla … 3 days ago I asked her to go for a drink after her exam session and she agreed with the idea. During our casual conversation I was always initiating but she always reply in a manner of minutes. So I decided to stop texting for couple of days to see if she will reach out, she texted me yesterday to tell me if she could come take her washer and dryer this weekend that she left at my place. She still have all our pictures on facebook and she take the time to tell me that she is going to see her mother alone for christmas and that she is going in vacation only with her sister. It seems that she want’s to tell me that she is single and not having anything serious with anyone and she ask me with who am I going in vacation with …

I was starting to thing that she want to reconcile with me but now she want the washer and dryer back but tells me that its not urgent and she doesn’t need it right now …

Can someone explain to me what all this means because I am a bit confuse right now …

Hi Chase,

I've been reading your whole lot of posts and your content has been helping me a lot. The posts about the conversationalist and deep diving are total scene changers!! When I was younger I used to be a great conversationalist and make everyone open up to me with great ease. Turns out that in these last years I lost this and I hardened a lot towards not having patience nor energy to spend in girls anymore.
In these last few months I have been trying to redo this and your posts proved to be very helpful. I'm now mainly trying to focus on this girl that I just met (in fact, we knew each other visually on university but never talked before but some days ago she just added me on FB) because I have a great feeling about her, like that one you describe on your post about "love at first sight".
As I said before, I have not been able to spend a lot of energy on girls lately (e.g. to do persistance) and I have grown to not spend any more energy after the first flake (all my latest gf's came to me to get to know me) and so I don't know how to face it when it happens. Now I feel I have to give a shot at persistance and I guess I have been successful with this girl. We started talking on FB and at the 1st conversation I invited her to grab a coffee (very usual in Portugal). She's very mistrustful and at first she refused, but then I insisted a bit and she complied. First she refused/complied to have a coffee and then she refused/complied on the time of the date. It seems that this is on the right path but sometimes I have a hard time in dealing with her "back off" attitude, be it by refusing at my first attempts or because of this "invisible barrier" she seems to put up between us. I have been trying to deep dive and for now I've been successful (at a certain level) but I can't tell if these are some mixed signals or if, in fact, she's genuinely interested in me.
What are your thoughts about this?

Best regards and thanks for all your material,
Tiago

Well I met this girl last summer 2015 she came only for a month only hung out with her in a 3 week range before she left nothing happend we were friends we would go out to the movies or dinner I found her very attractive and wanted to be with her I could tell some signs she liked me like going out and asking how my day was texting each other they way she would look at me sometimes while laying down in my bad while we were talking anyway the time was brief she left and we stayed good friends kept talking everyday for the next following months August- Dec well she got back with her ex again so I figured I can't do much really she's over there with him and I'm here in the states well one night she confessed to me that she liked me and wanted to get to know me and see me again that I was the most amazing guy she had ever met and found me super interesting and smart and asked me if I was single which I was and she told me she was dating her ex again but things weren't going well I told her I liked her too that I felt the same way about her this is where I should been more specific to have told her straight up do you want be my girlfriend. Or what are we going to have when you come back ? But I didint I noticed we started not talking as much as we used too after she told me how she felt I would hit her up most of the time now really she didn't which I found strange .. over Christmas I send her a bunch of cards to show her how much she meant to me she was very delighted by it said thinks that's very sweet I wish you the same couple days later she post pictures with him hugging and that they were passing time together over Christmas I was devasted with anger but didint say anything days passed new years came I said nothing to her and stopped hitting her up really she hit me up a week later wishing me a happy new year I wished the same but the conversation didint last long I was very brief with her we stopped talking weeks about 3 then she appears again telling me she's coming back for 5 months to the states I was so happy I even went to pick her up at the airport she said she was so happy to see me again so I picked her up from the airport was expecting to actually kiss her or Something but she seemed weird treating me like a friend and telling me she had broken up with him they even deleted eacjother off facebook I brought her to her fathers house we ate dinner but I left her at her aunts which she was taking care off basically everything was so contradictory and not how I pictured it to say in the month of January I saw her 2 times , feb 2 times , march - 3 times April 1 time and may 1 time when I decided to end my ties with her well during the course of those months many times I wanted to go out with her she would make up excuses saying she was busy or had to work and would hang out with me when she pleased vey few times jeez if someone is really into you your going to see them as much as possible if your going. To get to know each other and that brief period I learned a lot from her she didn't actually let me show her who I was she was so weird many times I would make a move to kiss her or hold her hand when we were walking around or doing something she would claim she didint like it or rejected me kissing her or claimed she thought it was funny me kissing her sometimes in front of me she would be texting her EX that would break my heart she had told me they were just friends and kept in touch what's weird sometimes she would let me affectionate towards her but things never really got serious because we hardly saw each other and when we did the time was fast or she would act interested in me and sometimes not kind of aloof and distant I was getting tired of it many times she would make it seem like we were just friends y things she would say to me she was very liberal free spirited and sometimes she seems the total upset I would catch her lying so many times I feel like she just wanted my attention put me in the friend zone or couldn't make her mind about me? Or wasn't even over her Ex the last time I hung out with her couple hours really she seemed like finally I was going to be with her intimately holding her touching her listening to music together and talking all of a sudden she has to leave it was only like 7 pm at the time and I had been with her since 3:30 that I had picked her up I had to take her home to her aunts she was in labor her aunt she was taking care off we went to the mall to get her something someone kept calling her she would whisper on the phone and made it seem like it was her aunt which I know it warrant she was talking to another guy , i had it told her straight up that i was tired of all of this you say something to me and never meant it your always changing everything you say constantly you disappear on me and she would say that I confused her and I would disappear on her I take her home a guy is waiting by her aunts door she gets out I saw bye for the last time and I watch as the just talk outside the door she didn't know I saw her and knew she was lying to me anyway If the guy was her new boyfriend or guy she was seeing I shouldn't had made a big deal of it because we're weren't actually together but I felt used and hate being lied too after that she would put a bunch of indirect comments on her profile facebook and what's app saying a whole bunch of crap like who wants a guy that's good looking and has all these nice things but doesn't have character or what you don't like about me is only a reflection of who you are and haven't changed about you and other stuff like you just want sex with me or I have to let him go for good which I know were for me in English I was the one that helped her with her English school work while she wasn't in the states I stopped talking to her she would hit me up now she would but I wouldn't respond to her messages we talked for a final time she asked me what was wrong why I had disappeared like that I told her a lot of things tend to get tiring and boring life is to short to be wasting your time in people and things who are insignificant and not worth it and you should never play with someone and have bad intentions towards them she kinda changed the subject and we kept talking last nice thing she said to me was your hair likes wonderful you looks good with your new style and we talked some more about some things she had from me I had let her borrow during the winter here that was the last time we spoke I found out she left and didint even say good bye to me weeks passed I deleted her from everything in my life and we never talked till this day other things that hurt me was I found out that In fact many times she was flaking on me and would lie to me about going out with me her stepmother told me that it Wasent fair towards me that I had been so amazing with her funny things is till this day I have found out that she's unhappy because things she posts about being heartbroken because of someone forgetting about her one day caring about her the next disappearing from her life who she's talking about I do not know if it's him or me and also that even her ex never got back with her again...

So you dont think Men arent looking for someone who is kind, smart, funny, compassionate, understanding, generous, and a generally good person? You really need to do more research and get past the surface level. Some of the most ugly women I have ever met are physical beauties only.