Great Fundamentals: Handling Your Intangibles | Girls Chase

Great Fundamentals: Handling Your Intangibles

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J.J. Jones's picture

By: J.J. Jones

Lately, I have received a lot of interest and requests for an article on what we refer to as “fundamentals”. If you’re relatively good with women now, then the importance of having a solid base to work off of is probably at least somewhat clear to you.

Entering this field, having proper fundamentals should be your first and immediate concern, before you even attempt to learn anything else. Because if you aren’t attractive to women, then you oftentimes won’t even get a chance to practice the tactics and techniques that you’re learning.

And, that’s what I am going to teach you how to do today: become more instantly attractive to the women you meet.

fundamentals intangibles

Sound hard? Well, getting your fundamentals set is actually fairly straightforward and uncomplicated. It’s one of the reasons why guys should start off going down this path.

And, better yet, there are really not a lot of hard and fast rules either. There are literally countless ways to up your value via all the different aspects of the basics and fundamentals, so you can pick and choose what sounds easiest to you at the moment, and work on those things first. All of what I am about to tell you is completely doable for any guy who is just starting out.

Even if you’re brand new to all of this, you can still put these ideas and skills to use and start commanding women’s attention and getting the kind of immediate reactions that you want, while limiting the shrug-offs and confused glares that women will give you if you don’t quite have your foundation set just yet.

Comments

Marty's picture

JJ:

This very valuable article will probably bear three or four readings for most of us to become fully absorbed and internalized.

What I particularly like is that you are unafraid to point out the substantial breadth of abilities that need to be developed in the intangibles sphere, while at the same time emphasizing that this is all very attainable given constant practice and intelligent work.

Thank you for this inspirational read!

-Marty

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

You're welcome, Marty! Glad you enjoyed it. I hope this was along the lines of what most of you guys were looking for when you asked for an article on fundamentals. I think the things that relate to appearance (clothing, facial hair, etcetera) are things most people can figure out on their own, and also might differ slightly across cultures and various parts of the world.

-J.J.

TR's picture

I've noticed that as I improve with women in general, my mindsets regarding them tend to change. The "Me" from a year ago when I was a virgin is radically different from my mindsets today, and I can pinpoint which months I've changed and how.

What kind of progression can you recall regarding your vibe, mental presence, physical presence, and social calibration?

It would be interesting to know whether these things are highly individual or more or less sequential, and where we each fall on the road to the top.

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

Hey TR,

I definitely think things like this depend on the individual.

When we talk about fundamentals, these are things that any given person might already have a foot in the right direction with on some, while other areas could use some work. What I really worked on to start out with was changing my posture and the way I walk. Girls have always told me I had a sexy voice, so that was something that I really didn't look to change at all.

At some point (for me, at least) it begins to have a snowball effect, when you start to get good at the things you're working on you'll see a spike increase in your confidence level. It's just automatic like that.

-J.J.

Nick/PD's picture

Quality article. Thanks!

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

You're welcome, Nick. Glad you liked it!

-J.J.

Anonymous's picture

great article! i have a huge request, can you cover an article on online dating. i feel like there's the only one so huge these days which your website is completely missing. i live like 30km away from a city due to some professional stuff I do but it gets in the way with my social life. every time I meet a girl (and that happens usually via social media) and get on a date I don't tell her I drove all the way here from another town cause that'd would be crashing the rule of least effort as I'm already making an investment at the start (both with my time and fuel). Is my thinking correct? Should consider relocating my business? or there's a way to get girls easily somehow via the internet first? but the rules may alter I guess a bit? what should I pay attention to?

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

Hey Anon,

There are a couple articles on online dating already here on the site:

1. http://www.girlschase.com/content/online-dating-message-email-writing
2. http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-meet-tons-girls-plenty-fish

There may be more than that. Those just came up in the quick search I just did.

Anyway, yeah, I have had the same problem. I live in a pretty small town with nothing going on, but there's a city of about 120k population 20 minutes from me. So, ultimately, that's where I go to meet women and therefore the dates end up there as well. I don't think it's that big of a deal. They know I live out of town. Just don't make it obvious that you drove into town just for the date. Maybe you had to pick something up or some other errand. It's not really that big of a deal either. She's probably driving from (somewhere) to meet you too.

Hope those articles help!
-J.J.

Prehistoric's picture

Very interesting article.

I'd like to ask a question regarding the whole body language and masculinity projection thing, using a real-life situation as an example.

Yesterday I was in this club, trying to consciously experimenting some stuff, while my friends were just compulsively trying to pick up women with no plan, method or reflection, with poor results, despite being both quite good looking.

Now something strange happened.

Everytime I was standing firm with open legs, aggressive look (but no eye contact with any specific girl before the interaction started) and with a entertained yet arrogant smile many girls couldn't stop looking at me, they would position themselves close to me, start to touch their hair, looking at me every 10 or 20 seconds to see if I had noticed. Two girls (actually one 40-year old woman and a 28-year old girl) even approached me the same way normally men approach women.

Sadly, during the interaction I couldn't keep this masculinity projection and ended up doing what my friends were doing, with the same results.

It was obvious to me that the more masculine and disinterested i looked, the more attraction I generated, the more tried to empathically interacting the more attraction I lost.

My question is this: how can I continue to keep on projecting those elements while approaching and during the interaction and let attraction increase instead of fading?

Thanks to anyone who'll be answering!

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

Hey Jackal,

Sometimes it's hard to get a feel for what guys are experiencing without being there. But, based on your explanation, I'd have to ask how much investment you're getting.

For example:

1. Are you getting girls to move with you?
2. What kind of reactions are you getting from women when you touch them?
3. Are you moving from banter and smalltalk to deep-diving?

Also, a couple other things would be eye contact and social calibration. Do you feel fidgety or nervous when you talk to them? If so, stop it! I know, I know... it sounds so easy to say. But, you just have to continue to talk to women and with time and repetition all those butterflies will go away. Eye contact is another thing that is extremely important while you're actually talking to someone. How do you feel your eye contact is? Does it need work?

Anyway, like I say it's sometimes hard to know exactly what someone needs to work on from the other side of the internet... but hopefully those things give you a step in the right direction!

Cheers,
-J.J.

Prehistoric's picture

Hey J.J,

I am starting right now to actually pay attention to what I do with women.

Until now I have always acted naturally and driven by feelings - more than conscience - sometimes getting the girl and sometimes not getting her. And obviously never realizing what I was doing right and was I was doing wrong.

Reading these great articles is making me realize that

1) I wait too long before asking girls to move / date / give me their numbers
2) I only "touch" them on those days I feel particularly confident and uncaring of reactions while I should be doing it always, or better, learning to always feel confident and not-too-caring of reactions :)
3) I do too much small-talk and conversation trying to impress the girl (I have always though myself as a very intelligent, empathic person so I tried to use these elements as an advantage, but actually I am now realizing I was using them in the wrong way).

I'll try work on these things. Not easy, but will is everything, isn't it?

Anonymous's picture

Brilliant Article,
I love fundamentals-based articles like these. I feel they help us no matter our situation and make sense to a larger population of readers, so thanks :). On that note, are you guys gonna do an article on the three types of vibes, or is that stuff kinda irrelevant (i believe they were brooding, smooth and spunky)? Also hairstyles? Again, this is an amazing article I applaud you guys.

Author
J.J. Jones's picture

Hey Anon,

Thanks for the kind comments! Do you recall who authored the article that mentions the three types of vibes? Was it Chase? We could certainly write a piece on that (and for all I know, it's already on here somewhere)!

Thanks again!
-J.J.

Anonymous's picture

It was mentioned the "How to get younger girls" piece as a template for guys to follow but not really expanded on. It was also first brought up in the "Sexy Body Language" comments. Would appreciate if you could look in to it. Cheers :)

Anonymous's picture

Hi

Something doesn't add up to me. You say that I need to be confident and not care what the girl thinks or how she reacts. But then here you say need to be socially calibrated and worry about people's reactions. Im sure there is something missing here that I cant see. And if I may gave a little bit of positive feedback. I think the articles would reach amazing level of sophistication if you are able to provide example for every point you make. I realize that you do it sometimes and I feel those are the points I understand the most, Im the type and am sure many people who are starting out, would greatly benefit from real examples for every point mentioned, with actual scenarios.

Thanks

Bsian's picture

Dear author,

First off let me thank you guys for putting up this site. I have been quietly reading it for a couple of months now, and have learned an insane amount from it-not to mention acquiring some... delectable results along the way.

However I'm at a kind of dilemma when it comes to the 'charisma' part. Perhaps it's part of my upbringing and general East Asian cultural heritage, but I feel extremely uncomfortable behaving in too confident and assertive a way, at least in the debonair, cocksure way I see Western men behave, and whom I have emulated on some occasion to great effect. You see, I don't feel that I deserve to behave in that cool way, not until I have launched my research career into stratospheric heights, become if not world renowned then at least a significant contributor to my field and to mankind in general, win awards for prose fiction and be a general bad ass at jazz and classical music. Before that I feel fake trying to pretend to be confident.

On the other hand, I see exchange students from Western countries around me act bosses despite the fact that most of them are mediocrities who would not contribute in any significant or unique way to humanity before they become lost to time. This bags them girls (in addition to the racial advantage of being a white guy in a culturally less developed asian city), and makes me reflect on whether my scale of 'deservedness' for confidence is pegged a little too high.

Thoughts? (especially from guys from Asian cultures which prize humility and understatement)

Jimbo's picture

"The majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, and are more influenced by the things that seem than those that are."

-Niccolò Machiavelli

--------------------------------

Even truer when it comes to bagging girls as you put it. Girls are more aroused by you behaving as if you have a research career in stratospheric heights than by your actual research career in stratospheric heights.

If you want to make it feel more genuine to yourself, do what I do: think of great things you've accomplished, of things you're extremely good at, of talents you have, or of things you won. Think of those things good and hard, that should give you a self-satisfied grin and a great confident vibe. Well you want to perpetuate that vibe all throughout your interactions with women you're interested in.

You can act with humility in other social contexts if you want, but if you want to attract women then you're gonna need to make your inner awesome shine through.

SBM's picture

I noticed that there are no articles about attractive hairstyles on here. So what hairstyles are generally considered attractive to a variety of women? Personally, I've been rocking an undercut with my hair being slicked back within the last few months (its stylish for this decade, and I think I look good with it), but is an undercut generally considered attractive to women, if not, what alternate hairstyles could I try wearing to look " more attractive"? Thanks

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