Socializing

Meeting, getting to know, and generally hobnobbing with the people you meet throughout a lifetime of travels and adventures.

Why Talking Less is (Usually) Best


I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

talk less listen more

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

Classroom Body Language Part II: Positioning and More


This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.


Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

classroom body language

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

  • Positioning
  • Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
  • How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.

Game Imbalance Hypothesis


game imbalance hypothesisThis is the first in a three-part series on regional sexual selection pressures. This piece introduces the concept of “game imbalance”, defines it, and posits it as a contributing cause of men’s difficulties with women.


I have an alternate theory why certain classes of men struggle with women far more than certain other classes do, on average. Alternate from what most guys cite: looks discrimination, racial discrimination, height discrimination, income discrimination, etc.

The one we’ve been seeing the most complaints from on the discussion boards lately are men of Indian descent. Asian and Arab guys struggle a lot as well. Of course, men of all races complain about their inabilities to succeed with women (and I’ve heard plenty of success stories and known personally plenty of successful guys from all of these racial groups), but some of these race-level complaints are far more ubiquitous than others.

So what makes the difference?

I have a theory. Actually, a hypothesis. I’d like to call it “game imbalance hypothesis.”

And if you’ll walk with me a moment, I’ll show you how I think the effect the hypothesis describes is hampering certain men and favoring others in the sexual marketplace.

Hit and Run Pickup in Clubs: If at First She Does Not Respond…


Previously I laid out my new strategy of approaching – the “hit-and-run” strategy – which allows you to approach women without facing any strong form of resistance (such as “approach walls” – where women respond negatively to your approach).

hit and run pickup

To recap, my hit-and-run strategy is based on first approaching a girl with a simple ice breaker, for the primary purpose of “breaking the ice” (as opposed to the primary focus being to build attraction), then leaving (in order to avoid being perceived as a potential “stalker” and instead as a mysterious man while also making her miss your presence).

Here is how this type of approach goes, step by step:

  1. Look out for approach invitations (signs of interest). If you get none, it is still wiser to approach anyway.

  2. Short approach, often with just a simple “ice breaker” followed by an introduction. Then leave the girl or the group as fast as you can with no explanation given.

  3. Do something else. Maybe approach other women?

  4. Look out for signs of interests – girls you broken the ice with will be curious about you.

  5. Re-open with something along the lines of “There you are” or simply “Sup?”. You will see that the reception will be much warmer!

That was a recap of the most important aspects covered in my previous post that talked about the hit-and-run strategy. You can read a more in depth analysis of this concept here: “How to Stop a Girl Acting Like a “Bitch” in a Club.”

In this post, we will elaborate further on this concept – as you’ve probably guessed that it can be used for much more than just approaching. We will discuss in depth how this strategy (of “approaching and then leaving” and then hopefully re-approaching later; in other words, the hit-and-run strategy) can be applied to other situations, such as dealing with rejections, handling bigger groups of females (three or more), and handling women’s resistance to sexual advances.

No time to lose, let’s get to it.

Lowering Expectations, Then Shattering Them


We are born into a world that doesn’t expect much out of us. Just be average, fit in, blend with the crowd, and you will be all right. This is fine if you want to be an average Joe with an average Jane by his side living an average life, but it is not so fine if you want more than this.

Yet you may have a tough time breaking out of the “mold” these low expectations place you in. From an early age we are all trained to expect average things of ourselves. Lifting one’s sights to see what is truly achievable takes work.

low expectations

Having low expectations placed on you sucks.

However, when you are a kid there is nothing you can do about it except “grow up”, so you end up agonizing on this desire to change during what should be one of the most care free periods of your life.

We get crammed into school systems, graded like we must perform a service adequately, and pushed into the social confines of routine. We are left to drift away into obscurity until we grow up, and at that point it seems too late to change anything. The system that supposedly is meant to make us match expectations instead lulls us away from the best ways to exceed them.

Another Bad Night? Don’t Get Washed Out – Change It


Have you ever just had a bad night?

One of those nights where everything you want to happen just doesn’t materialize, and as a result you get pulled into this space where everything you do is some how miscalculated and wrong?

One of those nights where afterwards you shake your head and feel like “What the hell was that!?”

bad night

Well, I have good news: it gets better, and the better you get the more you avoid these nights.

There are things you pick up along your journey that help you avoid getting washed out like this, and I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed to help you avoid some of the discomfort when things aren’t going all that well.

Dealing with People Who Want You to “Prove Yourself”


prove yourselfThere’s little more frustrating than that guy demanding you prove yourself to him, or that girl challenging you to show her how badass you are.

It always feels uncomfortable and icky when people do this to you, but you may feel pressured to respond... or not feel like there are really any valid other options to do BUT prove yourself or look “disproved.”

And then, when you prove yourself? Either the other person dismisses your proof and tells you “Not good enough”, or you get the slow clap “I’m impressed” response that drives you nuts – either way this other person asserts his superiority.

For all you care, he could have commanded you to be a good monkey and dance, and you (unhappily) obliged.

Obviously, tap dancing on command isn’t the way to handle this one.

Instead, you must understand how to deal with it when it arises, and you must understand what prompts it in the first place.

The “Sigma Male”: An Alternative to Being the “Alpha Male”


sigma maleFew concepts are more viral in contemporary culture than the notion of the “alpha male”.

Many men want to become “alpha males”, but there is surprisingly little agreement on what characterizes this social role.

Even more, it can actually be argued that many guys should NOT try to be alpha males in the biological sense if their goal is to be a man who attracts women.

Does that mean that you should be a weak, submissive man?

Not at all.

There is a kind of strong man who is not the alpha male in its original sense but who may actually be a better archetype for many students of seduction.

Don’t Talk About Fight Club and Take the Red Pill


An interesting thread, I noticed, had popped up on our discussion boards the other day, with guys hashing around about the “manosphere” and its various merits or drawbacks.

There were some comments about how a guy started out here on GC but went over to the “manosphere” because it suited him better. There were others from other guys talking about how they started out in the “manosphere” and ended up here and found this site to suit them better. And then there were some rather balanced posts discussing the various similarities and differences and strengths and merits of each.

I, though, would like to take a brief foray into exploring some of the mentality behind much of the most vocal and grating “red pill”-esque thought you will encounter, and that of its predecessor, “Fight Club”-esque thought; if you know what I’m talking about, then you either can’t stand it or you think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

fight club red pill

If you’re not too familiar with the pickup community or the manosphere, this’ll be new but hopefully still interesting for you, from a “social dynamics within social hierarchies” standpoint. If you are familiar, it might give you something interesting to chew on.

How to Get Laid in College, Pt. II: The Slowburn


Wassup everybody,

This is my second entry into the three part series on The Best College Seduction Styles, a subset of my expansive College Game series.

If you read the first article of the series, detailing my particular style, “Big Man on Campus” (BMOC), and didn’t find its exuberance attractive, then perhaps Slowburn is for you.

If BMOC is Muay-Thai – aggressive and forward – then Slowburn is Ninjutsu – subtle, but deadly when executing precision strikes.

how to get laid in college

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