Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might
realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys
try and fail.
It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and
we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes –
until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved
it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights
were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.
The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I
woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning
routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had
to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking
time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an
awesome, productive day.
As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of
my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and
jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done
meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few
minutes, she walked toward the door.
“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention.
She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.
I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.
“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.
I opened my eyes and looked at her.
She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as
I looked at her still sitting on the ground.
I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank
look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at
me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out
the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a
She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle
smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.
We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss,
smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile.
She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.
I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went
right back to my meditation.
She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your
meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night
I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this
girl... and with others.