Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

5 Tips to Get Over Jealousy


In my opinion there are two kinds of jealousy:

  1. The kind you feel out of superficial insecurity, and
  2. The kind you feel out of genuine loss

jealousy

A lot of men feel jealous superficially and confuse it for something genuine. That is easy to fix, you just have to learn to move on. But occasionally some of us who are familiar with moving on get swept into a situation where genuine loss is felt, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t let it go.

In this article I’m going to talk about the second kind of jealousy and getting past the grief that comes with it.

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 2: Long-Term Value Unclear


This is Part 2 of my series on why relationships fall apart. You can read Part 1, on what I called ‘game-personality disconnect’ (where you use one persona to get her, then adopt a different persona in the relationship) here.

Part 2 is on your long-term value proposition. That is to say, if she’s going to stick around with you, there must be a clear value proposition there over the long-term.

long-term value

If you have an easy time sleeping with new women but a hard time keeping them around, it’s likely this issue is your bugbear.

The biggest part of this issue, of course, is understanding the answer to this question: what does this girl require of a man for her to stick with him long-term?

Unless you can answer that, it’s luck you rely on that she stays with you.

Today, let’s talk about how you rely on something more than luck.

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 1: Game-Personality Disconnect


why relationships failWith this article, I’m kicking off a new series called “Why Relationships Fall Apart” that I’ll make further installments in as the weeks go by. The first in the WRFA series is on something I’ve deemed ‘game-personality disconnect’. A comment from a reader named ‘straw’ in my article on “Why Women Misremember the Past” describes this perfectly:

Hi Chase.
As much as i dont have much problem with pick up and short term relations, I have found it impossible to maintain a longer relationship. It is almost as if suddenly my value dropped to zero. The pattern repeats itself all the time and its been going on for years now. At the beginning, women get crazy about me, the persue a relationship and after more or less 3-4 months there is a complete almost overnight shoft in the interest department.
Is it possible that I employ too much game at the beginning so they are attracted to someone im not? I may put on some game at the beginning which makes them pursue me hard and then the moment i get involved, usually after a couple of months, i show them i am involved and their interest drops, they start criticizing me, and its almost like eveything i do is SUDDENLY bad and wrong or ridiculous.
If yoy are in a relationship with somebody of course you show you care, what would be the point otherwise. Why does my value drop a couple of months after we enter the relationship?

The problem straw has run into is that the way you attract and take women itself serves as a screening tool, drawing in the women who are most attracted to that ‘style’.

Just like you probably have your own preference for submissive girls or feisty girls, and girls of an opposing style bore you or drive you nuts, women have their preferences too – and if you lure in women looking for one thing by behaving like it, only to revert to something else later on, for her it’s kind of like buying a ticket to a metalcore concert because that’s her scene only to show up there and discover it’s jazz (or vice versa).

The Break-Up-Get-Back-Together Cycle


One of the cycles familiar to lots and lots of people is the break-up-get-back-together cycle.

If you’ve been dating before, odds are you’ve gone through this once or twice (or thrice, or more) yourself.

Here’s how it works: you and a girlfriend break up. Then after a while, you realize how perfect she’d been for you, and reach out to her to get back together. Or, you’re plugging along in your single life, when she reaches out to you and wants to see you again.

Then pretty soon, you’re back together. For a few days or a few weeks, it’s as great as ever!

break up get back together

Then things go back to the way they were before the first time you broke up. If you initiated the breakup before, you may start wishing you’d stayed broken up. If she’d initiated the breakup before, you may notice she’s become annoyed with those same things about you that precipitated the initial breakup in the first place.

So you break up again. A little time goes by, and maybe you get back together again. Then maybe you break up again later.

Here’s a question you may not have asked yourself, though: why do you do this? And why does she do it?

Obviously it’s kind of a silly nonsense dance, isn’t it?

Either stay together, or stay broken up, right?

Yet you aren’t doing that. But why?

Why Women Misremember the Past


A reader commented on my article on backward rationalization about women’s frequent misremembering or twisting of past event details:

This is a great article. As a rational man, with integrity, I struggle with this all the time. Young women will routinely misremember things that they said and did, in a way that allows them to not accept responsibility. They’ll conjure up conversations, filling in my words, for their benefit. Very often it is to save them from losing face. Other times it is so they can avoid confronting the truth about themselves. To me, this is lying, but if I’m mad about it, it’s some “loss of frame”.

I had a post about this on redpill reddit a few months ago, asking if you should ever question a girl about why she was dishonest, as it seems pointless. The consensus seems that you just tell a woman what she did, and that it wont be tolerated. When she argues, you ignore.

What our reader here is remarking on is one of the core differences in how men and women perceive the world, and it’s one it’s tremendously important to have a handle on if you want to run your relationships with women well.

The understanding is this: how a woman remembers a past event has less to do with the facts of the event than it has to do with how she feels right now.

women misremember past

This sounds topsy-turvy and wrongheaded from a male perspective, because how on Earth can you expect to create a sane and stable world if the past shifts with the sands of your very emotions?

However, it serves a critical role in how women deal with the world, as well as with those around them.

What to Do When She Tells You She’s Pregnant


Few things carry as much of that ‘punch in the gut’ feeling as having a girl you’re seeing tell you she’s pregnant.

Unless you’re married and trying for children, hearing she has a bun in the oven is one of those shocks you never fully expect, and even if some part of you might’ve liked the idea of knocking this cute girl up in theory, being face to face with a real pregnancy is different.

girl says she's pregnant

And if you’re really unlucky (or, more accurately, really incautious), you now find yourself confronted with a girl who tells you she’s pregnant but is not a girl you’d like to have a child with in this or any universe.

The moral police reading this article will tut-tut and tell you, “Well now see, that’s why you need to be more responsible!”

That’s not the point of this article though.

This article’s about firefighting: what do you do when she hits you with this?

How Her Childhood Influences Her Adult Relationship with You


Master Teacher You, who was forty-three years younger than the Master, said, “Being a person who is lovingly obedient toward his parents and who models himself on his elders, and being at the same time someone who is bent on defying his superiors, that’s unlikely. Being a person who is not bent on defying his superiors, but who has a passion for stirring up confusion and disorder, that doesn’t happen, either.”
– The Analects of Confucius, 1:2, translated by David R. Schiller

We’ve talked on here about crazy girls before, and about narcissistic women and women with more extreme personality disorders.

Today I want to talk about where the seeds of many of the troublesome behaviors you’ll encounter in some women begin – namely, in the relationships they had with their mothers and fathers during childhood.

It’s not dwelt on too often in the dating advice community, but an individual’s family background and upbringing has tremendous follow-on effects that ripple down through the rest of her life, molding her relationships into something that mirrors the model she learned early on.

her childhood

And that means that when it comes to predicting how a woman will behave – and especially, what kind of girlfriend she’ll make – you must pay close attention to how she grew up.

How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 5: Taboo as Aphrodisiac


Now that we have thoroughly explored the Temple of Debauchery, we can clearly understand some of the why’s and how’s of these darkly beautiful acts.

But as a reminder, here are the first four articles of the series:

  1. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 1: All Women are Freaks
  2. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 2: Beginners Guide
  3. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 3: A Little More Kinky
  4. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar

At the end of the most recent article, I suggested that while sexual creativity is infinite, there are some limits to what you should do with women. But first, some of you might be asking a very reasonable question:

“Will every girl do ‘X’?”

taboo

If the man (or men) is sexy enough and if non-judgment and discretion are assured, then, yes, girls will do just about everything.

Why?

How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar


Welcome back to the freaky deaky parade, my friends. Here’s the rundown:

  • In our first article, we discussed how all women are freaks, and why they therefore also love kinky men.

  • In the second article, we covered some introductory techniques, like dirty talk and spanking.

  • And in the third article, we stepped up our game a bit with some bondage, choking, and other more risqué techniques.

Now? Well, I’ve been quite graphic with this series, but this article will blow the rest away.

shag

But before I get into the slimy details, let’s recap why you should do these things with women, even if you’re not that kinky yourself.

Girls Chase Podcast Interviews Ep. 6: Blackdragon


Open relationships can be great fun and very freeing – but sometimes they’re dicey to run. In this interview Caleb Jones (Blackdragon) discusses how these work, and the rules you have to follow.

Varoon interviews Caleb on the following subjects:

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