Opening | Page 8 | Girls Chase

Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

Signs She Likes You: Puts Her Phone Down or Away

Chase Amante's picture
she puts her phone down
In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

  • "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
  • "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
  • "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

  1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

  2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 3-Minute Rule

Chase Amante's picture
3-minute rule
Use the 3-minute rule before you approach a girl. If someone will disrupt you or pull her away in the first 3 minutes of conversation, don't approach her (yet).

A little while back, we covered the 3-second rule. The 3-second rule is a tactic you can use to get yourself to approach women before you lose your nerve. It's a useful rule. You won't always use it, but if you struggle with approach anxiety, it should be your default.

Today we'll talk about a different tactic called the 3-Minute Rule. Although it sounds the same, this is a different rule with a different purpose. The 3-second rule's purpose is to get you to approach. The 3-minute rule is to focus your approaches and get you to avoid time-wasters... so you can zero in on worthwhile women.

As you use this rule more, you'll find your approaches succeed more. Early pickup wildcards will bother you less. And meeting women will grow more relaxed and easier.

How to Pick Up Girls at the Mall

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

pick up girls at the mall
Despite the stories about creeps harassing girls at malls, these female-rich locales are among the best places to meet women. Here’s how to do it right.

For the many years I’ve been teaching guys how to meet women in the daytime, I’d say that (other than the beach) there’s no better location than the mall. And I’ll admit, I’m a bit of an expert at picking up girls at the mall.

The main issue most men have with malls is that it’s not outside, so it feels different. It’s always like this: a guy who’s used to meeting girls at bars can’t do malls; a guy who’s used to streets can’t do malls, and so on. It’s something about the change from the comfortable to uncomfortable, familiar to unfamiliar environments that throws guys off.

That’s why, as a student looking to improve your game, you should put yourself into as many new situations, in as many different environments as possible. Then you're much less likely to get stuck when something unexpected happens.

For example: you spot a pretty girl walking in the mall, so you start to approach her, and she ducks into a clothing store. Oh, now you can’t approach her because she’s in a store, so you stand around outside scratching your nuts, waiting for her to come back out, feeling more and more creepy with every minute, and then just give up.

But if you’d taken the time to put yourself into a situation like this before, you’d be prepared when it inevitably happens again.

Not being able to approach a girl walking into a store at the mall is like not being able to meet women on the dance floor at the bar. Half the venue is useless to you, so you have half the opportunity to meet your dream girl.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 'Too Distracted' Opener

Chase Amante's picture
too distracted by you opener
A simple, fun, direct opener to use on girls who are stationary and alone. "I'm too distracted by you" puts the blame on HER for being too cute.

This is a little gem from the old mASF seduction forums (credit: Lifeguard).

It goes like this: you're out somewhere and see a pretty girl, so you approach, give your name, tell her she distracted you with her cuteness, and ask her name.

Example:

You're in the café and see a girl. You approach her and tell her, "Hi, I'm Lucas. I was sitting over there trying to read my book but I am too distracted by how cute you are. What's your name?"

This opener combines direct with situational relevance, so it's to-the-point but still grounded.

It's also versatile (useful in a lot of different situations), as we'll see just below.

Tactics Tuesdays: Zero Small Talk Flirtation

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

zero small talk
Don’t get stuck in boring go-nowhere conversations with girls. Ditch the small talk, and flirt with ‘small talk zero’ instead.

This is for any guy who runs into this issue:

You're in a situation, start to talk to a girl, make small talk about the setting/situation, then get trapped in a platonic conversation where you talk about boring situational things that neither you nor the girl care about. She loses interest and slips away.

If this happens to you, there's an easy tactic you can use, and that is to go 'small talk zero'. Instead of make small talk, your entire early conversation consists of flirtatious banter.

Sometimes you can make small talk work perfectly fine, especially if you are confident in how you do it and don't spend too long on it. However, if you're nervous, or don't feel in control of the situation, it's easy to fall into a small talk loop, where small talk leads to more small talk, which leads to boredom, and women leaving.

Since we don't want attractive women leaving, instead of getting trapped in an endless small talk loop, we can use 'zero small talk' flirtation instead.

How to Get Dates with Girls from Groups and Events

Chase Amante's picture
get dates from groups and events
How do you meet a girl and get a date from a group or event... without standing around not knowing whom to talk to or what to do?

While I will always recommend you put cold approach (walking up to girls you don't know) first, you can excellently supplement the women you meet this way with girls you meet via groups and events.

If you are active enough socially, it can even be possible to make groups and events your primary channel to meet new women.

There are several benefits to getting your dates via events and group activities. The biggest is that women you meet this way are both more open to socializing, and less guarded. This typically means:

The interactions are also slower paced and less pressured, which means they aren't as 'do or die' as higher pressure street, bar, grocery, etc. approaches (or even class, office, or library approaches).

You have more time to make things happen in group and event situations; you don't need to move quite as fast, and the escalation windows don't close so quick. Attraction sticks around longer before expiring, too.

Below, we'll cover some tips and tactics to make getting dates from groups and events a breeze, and have a lot more fun at these places, too.

The Death of Approach Anxiety: A 10-Year Reflection (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

I turn 27 years old tomorrow, but I have put multiple lifetimes of work into mastering the art of seduction. I have given it almost every second of my attention for the past 10 years. I have (literally) beat myself up learning the ins and outs of the female mind.

There are still some mysteries that remain for me, but they are few, and so I want to commemorate my 10-year journey with a video on the #1 problem that most men face when finding women they want to sleep with, date, marry, or even have children with.

Approach anxiety.

It is the BIGGEST problem that all men have.

I had it HORRIBLY in my teenage years.

Then, one day, for the most part, it turned off.

Of course, I'm human and still even encounter approach anxiety to this day, but what happened when I "woke up" is that the anxiety was overcome by something greater....

This is an ode to the death of approach anxiety. A death to that which keeps most of you from finding the girl(s) of your dreams.

How Reality Pace Openers Help You Connect to and Intrigue Women

Daniel Adebayo's picture

reality pace openers
Showing a girl that you get her and are not just another douche makes her see you as a refreshing and attractive guy. Reality pace openers get this done within seconds.

In today’s article, we’re going to discuss another powerful, versatile frame control technique. This technique will allow you to set good frames in your seductions – right from the start.

Even though techniques like this are more suited for intermediate and advanced seducers, this type of frame control is simple and easy enough to pull off so seducers at any level can use this technique and reap the benefits.

You’ll want to use this at the beginning of your interactions with women; it’s one of my favorite ways to approach. Not only does this technique enable you to start your interactions with great frames that are tailored specifically to help your seductions proceed smoothly, but it is also a very low key and innocuous way to approach women, just like situationally relevant openers.

Simply put, this is a powerful and risk-averse way to open.

Before we proceed, it’s important to note that while I’ll be sharing specific examples of how you can use this technique to approach women, it’s crucial that you understand the underlying principles first. Feel free to use the example openers word for word – they've been tested in the field with great success.

But make sure also to take in the principles and understand the concepts that make up this technique. Because once you’ve grasped them, you’ll truly see the power of this technique and you’ll be able to create more examples to use in a variety of situations.

4 Easy, Proven Ways to Start Talking to Women (or People)

Chase Amante's picture
start talking to women
Sometimes when you go out to meet girls, you're lazy. Or you're rusty. Or it's hard to get going. Use these 4 tactics to start talking to women with ease.

We've written a lot on here about approach anxiety in the past.

Approach anxiety of course is the trepidation you feel before you approach someone new.

See a pretty girl you'd like to talk to? You freeze up and feel fear before you can.

At a networking conference and need to make business contacts? Freeze up in fear.

Anxiety before an approach is a common human feeling. It is not only something that happens with approaching women. You'll feel it any time you need to make an approach where you care about the outcome. If you have to approach your boss to ask for a raise... or your teacher to ask for a chance to make up that test you failed... or a roommate you suspect has stolen something from you but you aren't sure.

If you care about the outcome, and need to approach and engage someone else, there will usually be some anxiety there. Because you'll worry "What if I approach, and this person won't give me what I want?"

The anxiety is there to force you to take a moment to consider how, exactly, to get the outcome you want.

Yet with women, especially in cold approach scenarios (where you're walking up to someone you do not know), you'll often only have a handful of seconds to make the approach. Fail to make it on time, and the girl is gone.

This article gives you four quick, simple little tactics you can use to get yourself to approach.

Note that these tactics are geared more toward intermediate and advanced playboys who are able to approach, and just need an extra push to get off the sidelines. If you struggle with heavy approach anxiety, skip to the section at the end (where I link up some material on dealing with that).

Assuming you're able to approach, however, and just need to up your consistency, then pick one (or more) of these, use it, and you'll kick off a bunch more conversations with women (or other people, if your approaching is for purposes other than dating).

The 30-Second Rule and Other Night Game Strategies

Tony Depp's picture

night game strategies
Guys often get approach anxiety because they don’t have a strategy: something to start and drive the interaction. So here are some proven night-game strategies for ya!

I used to have this fantasy, sort of like that Sonic Youth video where these two teenagers are staring longingly at each other across a mosh pit but the guy is too shy to approach. The mosh pit eventually bounces them serendipitously into each other.

Before I discovered pickup, I only went to bars to drink, see live bands, and hope that fate would push a hot, lonely, hipster girl into my lap. When I stepped into the mosh pit, I’d just get smashed around into some sweaty punk’s armpit. It wasn’t long before I realized the only dudes there getting laid were in the band.

Then I discovered the pickup community and all its politically incorrect but incredibly effective dating advice.

Out of all the concepts like teasing, negging, displaying higher value (DHV), and cold reads – I’d say the most useful advice is the three-second rule.

What’s the three-second rule?

  1. See a hot girl
  2. Approach her within three seconds (before your stupid brain talks you out of it)

The 3-second rule is great for newbies. But it’s not necessary for advanced guys. I prefer sniper-style game – analyzing my target, gathering data, and not moving until the situation provides maximum effectiveness or maximum results for the least amount of energy.

Advanced night gamers don’t have that annoying little voice that the 3-second rule overrides. We know how to shut it up, or at least ignore it.

The little voice sounds like this:

People will see you. You don’t know what to say. She looks like a bitch. Get a drink first. Maybe you should hit the gym for a month first. Check your Tinder. You can try again tomorrow.”