Female Mind

Few things carry as much of that ‘punch in the gut’ feeling as having a girl you’re seeing tell you she’s pregnant.

Unless you’re married and trying for children, hearing she has a bun in the oven is one of those shocks you never fully expect, and even if some part of you might’ve liked the idea of knocking this cute girl up in theory, being face to face with a real pregnancy is different.

And if you’re really unlucky (or, more accurately, really incautious), you now find yourself confronted with a girl who tells you she’s pregnant but is not a girl you’d like to have a child with in this or any universe.

The moral police reading this article will tut-tut and tell you, “Well now see, that’s why you need to be more responsible!”

That’s not the point of this article though.

This article’s about firefighting: what do you do when she hits you with this?

University is a black box for many men, and guys can struggle trying to figure out how to rise to the top of the social and sexual ranks. Our host Varoon Raja interviews Girls Chase author Hector Castillo and picks his brain on how men can do just that, and many of the surprises to expect and pitfalls to avoid along the way.

Some of the subjects covered:

“Master Teacher You, who was forty-three years younger than the Master, said, “Being a person who is lovingly obedient toward his parents and who models himself on his elders, and being at the same time someone who is bent on defying his superiors, that’s unlikely. Being a person who is not bent on defying his superiors, but who has a passion for stirring up confusion and disorder, that doesn’t happen, either.”
– The Analects of Confucius, 1:2, translated by David R. Schiller”

We’ve talked on here about crazy girls before, and about narcissistic women and women with more extreme personality disorders.

Today I want to talk about where the seeds of many of the troublesome behaviors you’ll encounter in some women begin – namely, in the relationships they had with their mothers and fathers during childhood.

It’s not dwelt on too often in the dating advice community, but an individual’s family background and upbringing has tremendous follow-on effects that ripple down through the rest of her life, molding her relationships into something that mirrors the model she learned early on.

And that means that when it comes to predicting how a woman will behave – and especially, what kind of girlfriend she’ll make – you must pay close attention to how she grew up.

Women are constantly putting things you say into categories. They are looking at what you say not only for content but for what you’re trying to get across too.

• “He said that because he’s trying to show off that he’s smart.”
• “He told me that because he’s trying to get me alone.”

Most guys are unaware of this layer of communication, which leads to them making clumsy mistakes. But I’m not writing this article to talk about the clumsy mistakes you might be making in conversation, I’m writing this article for you to learn how to look at conversations the same way a woman does.

Adding this layer will make it easier for you to see why women say some of the things they do. It will also help you give a woman exactly what she wants, when she wants it (which is the fastest way to get what you want). At the end of this article, I share a painful story that was the catalyst for me writing this.

There’s a little-discussed concept in seduction called “backward rationalization”, where someone attributes reasons for a choice or action after-the-fact, rather than before it.

A simple example is you bring a girl home after a date and escalate on her, nearly to the point of sex. If you then have sex, there’s a good chance afterward she looks back and says, “Well, we had sex because he was attractive / charming / had a good body / etc.”

If on the other hand you do not have sex, there’s a fair chance she looks back after and says, “Well, we didn’t have sex because I wasn’t really that into him.”

In both cases, it may have simply been that you pushed a little harder to get past last minute resistance in the first scenario, and in the second you got winded and gave up. But the narrative she retains about why you slept together or didn’t is completely different.

Backward rationalization can mean the difference between her thinking you’re great or her thinking you’re not... all due to the outcome you achieve with her.

Now that we have thoroughly explored the Temple of Debauchery, we can clearly understand some of the why’s and how’s of these darkly beautiful acts.

But as a reminder, here are the first four articles of the series:

1. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 1: All Women are Freaks
2. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 2: Beginners Guide
3. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 3: A Little More Kinky
4. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar

At the end of the most recent article, I suggested that while sexual creativity is infinite, there are some limits to what you should do with women. But first, some of you might be asking a very reasonable question:

“Will every girl do ‘X’?”

If the man (or men) is sexy enough and if non-judgment and discretion are assured, then, yes, girls will do just about everything.

Why?

In 2013, women purchased over $800 million worth of romance novels.

They’re not doing that because their desires for erotic stimulation are fully sated by their real-life encounters; they’re doing that because they are STARVED for it.

Whether she’s 15 or 55, a woman loves the thought of being swept up with a Rochester or a Romeo. Yet, as she ages, and life repeatedly denies her this, her faith in ever experiencing such a romance wanes, and she retreats further into a world of make-believe, out-of-reach eroticism.

The success of the romance novel directly reflects this general discontent women have with men in the Anglosphere; its popularity implies that women largely are surrounded by men who are not satisfying them on an emotional level… let alone a physical one.

Because of this, if you can teach yourself to be a man who CAN provide erotic stimulation IN REAL LIFE, your relationships will shine with mutual satisfaction.

Sound like a tall order? Perhaps it is. Luckily, there is a cheat-sheet out there that makes manifesting this reality a little easier:

Romance novels.