Emotions | Page 33 | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

What Causes Girl Fights and Female Competition?

Colt Williams's picture

The prospect of a girl fight holds a very special place in the minds of most men. We believe that if you voluptuous vixens start going at it, eventually their angry passion will be converted into sexual energy and they will start to make out, and even invite in a nearby man for a threesome.

But as most men who are in the know are aware of: this is very far from the truth. In fact, even if two women are fighting over a guy, the fight itself isn’t really about him. Rather, it’s about their instincts, and enacting the desire to snuff out competition in every way possible.

girl fight

That’s what every form of female competition comes down to: protecting pride and destroying the competition. And today I’m going to delve deeply into the concept of female competition: where it comes from, how it plays out, and much more importantly…how you fit in.


How to Tell a Sex Story, Part II

Alek Rolstad's picture

Last time in Part I of this series, we discussed how to transition from a casual conversation into sharing sex stories with women, without making it awkward. I promised you that the second article concerning this topic will be about how to juice it up, but also how we can proceed after having shared a sex story with a girl.

So here is the plan for today:

  • How to add more Juice to your sex stories

  • What to do after sharing your awesome sex story

  • Finish it off with a recap

The Wrapping and the Present

Chase Amante's picture

wrapping vs. presentsOver the past month, 340Breeze, one of our members and commenters here, has made a couple of insightful comments and asked a few thoughtful questions about a subject that can be fairly boiled down to "the wrapping and the present".

His first comment was in the article on specialness (comment here).

And his second was in the piece on reversing poor precedent (comment here).

The first comment discussed his experiences meeting women who seemed outwardly impressive at first, but lacking in substance after he got to know them; in the second comment, he asked whether it was better for a woman interested in capturing a good man to focus more on playing coy and drawing things out with men (what I'd term "game" and "fundamentals", or style), or on becoming such all-around awesome people that they were simply naturally already in very high demand (who you really are as a person, friend, and mate - your substance).

In fact, this dichotomy - of fundamentals and game vs. who you are, style vs. substance, or the wrapping vs. the present - is one that underlies all of social dynamics, whether mating and dating, or choosing whom you want to be friends with, or hiring employees, bringing on consultants, or selecting the company you want to go work for.

The key here, and what everyone's trying to do, is to avoid being suckered by nice wrapping that isn't backed up by an equally impressive present underneath... but also not miss the great presents hiding under crummy wrapping paper.

Yet, that isn't so easy to do.

How to NEXT a Girl

Drexel Scott's picture

Reading through posts in the relationship forum, as well as guys' relationship issues elsewhere on the Internet, there appears to be a lot of confusion over how and when to implement what I believe is the single most powerful tool in a man's relationship arsenal:

next a girl

The NEXT.

Throughout this article, I'm going to provide you with the proper contexts in which to execute a NEXT, which situations make it impossible or ineffective, and how to do it. But first, a definition:

How to Tell a Sex Story, Part I

Alek Rolstad's picture

Sharing stories is a good way of conveying your personality, which is the pillar of what creates attraction. What attracts women are the elements, or we might call them the traits, of your personality that are attractive.

For example, you can display higher value by sharing a story of yours, which can be done by telling the girl you’re talking to a story in which you are experiencing an exciting event, or just simply communicating to her that you have an exciting life. Maybe the story communicates social proof, or preselection – where you meet other girls.

There are no doubts that all this works, but what I wanted to talk about today is the usage of storytelling as a tool to convey a sexual personality. Say, by sharing sexual experiences in order for you to be perceived by her as a sexually experienced man.

sex story

Further you can also share a story in order to make a girl horny – as your story will be like an erotic novel to her ears, allowing her to fantasize about the event by herself (women love pornographic literature – such as erotic novels).

And, sharing sex stories can also work to set the right frame. As I mentioned in my introduction post about sex talk: the frame will define her perception of you; which means that if she perceives you as a sexual man, she will treat you like one. How people perceive you plays a crucial role in defining their behavior toward you.

So now, in this article we will lay out the different steps in how you can pull this off properly.

  • How to transition into a sex story

  • How to actually tell a sex story

  • Short Recap

We will get right into the first step.

Reversing Poor Past Precedent with Girls You Like

Chase Amante's picture

reversing bad precedentAlex writes in with a question about a follow-up article to the one on precedent: “Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It’s So Very Important.” Here's his email:

Hi Chase and friends at girlschase.com

Your articles are amazing! I found Chase's article on precedent to be thought-provoking:

http://www.girlschase.com/
content/dating-and-relationship-precedent-why-it’s-so-very-important

I was wondering if you guys think writing a secondary article on how to recover after precedent has been set poorly would be a good follow-up idea.

For example: Say with this particular girl, I've moved too slowly with her, been overly helpful, white-knighted her, and acted overly insecure. As a result, I ended up losing her. But what if I want a second chance? Do you have any suggestions on bouncing back after setting poor precedent?

I know it would be best to move on, and I wish I knew about setting good precedent back when I was inexperienced, but sometimes I just want a second shot. I think it would be excellent to have an article on bouncing back after poor precedent, if possible.

Let me know if you guys think this would be a good suggestion!

Best,
Alex

This is a sticky issue, and it's not one with an easy fix... not even a remotely easy fix. It's also a totally irrational problem to have, in the grand scheme of things, and it's one that's rooted firmly into a scarcity mentality of some sort or another - it may be that you don't feel you can ever meet another girl as amazing as this one (you lack absolute abundance), or it may be that you don't know if you're ever going to find another girl at ALL (just a complete lack of abundance mentality) - or, at the very least, you've just plunged so much time and emotional investment into this girl that your psyche won't let you let go.

The rational option is always, "Go out, forget about the girl you've dug yourself into a deep pit of despair with, get more skilled with women, upgrade your game and your fundamentals, and go date and sleep with 10 more women hotter, cooler, and more interesting than this one."

Yet, it's a question that comes up SO MUCH from guys, that it's probably worth addressing on its own: how do you change a girl's perception of you when it's already pretty low?

It will require you to move mountains and pull off feats that few men ever have, but if you're willing to give it your all, I may as well lay out the tools for you. So, by popular request...

Can You Develop More Empathy? Science Suggests "Yes"

Chase Amante's picture

how to have empathyEmpathy is a twisty topic, and one that's often hung with mounds of cultural baggage. The politically correct party line at the moment is, "All empathy is good; all lack of empathy is bad, bad, BAD."

The truth of the matter is a bit more complicated than this (decidedly unempathetic) black-and-white thinking on empathy: strong empathy is a bit like a superpower and a crippling weakness, all rolled up into one.

In this article, we'll be looking at the full range of empathy profiles - from sociopaths, supposedly unable to feel empathy at all, to empaths, those souls so bursting with empathy that stepping on a bug makes them feel awful.

And what I most want to talk about in today's article is striking the right balance - enough empathy that you are able to perceptively know what other people are thinking, what they are feeling, and what they want, but not so much that you render yourself unable to take any action, out of fear of hurting, offending, or invoking the displeasure of someone else.

How to Get a Girl to Like You and Make Her Feel Desire

Colt Williams's picture

Desire: it’s that all-powerful word that differentiates a smoldering romantic affair from a chain of text messages that leads nowhere. The difference between having to fight to convince a girl to go out with you – and having her flake… to her flying halfway across the country just to be with you for a few nights. It is the difference between her always being “busy” and her finding a spare five minutes at all costs just to see you.

how to get a girl to like you

The difference is desire. Desire can make your seduction as smooth as ice. A lack of it can make it jagged as rocks. Desire makes dating, seduction and relationships easy.

But how do you cultivate desire? And what does it look like when you successfully use it to get a girl to like you? Today we’re going to look at desire inside out. And I’m going to show you the true key to understanding desire, and inspiring it in the women in your life as much as possible.

Sexuality Game, Part II: Word Wizardry

Drexel Scott's picture

This is Part II of Drexel Scott’s series on sexuality game. You can read Part I here:

Sexuality Game: Making Her Wet with Words


Before I begin this article, I want to tell you guys about something absolutely fascinating I heard the other day. I was speaking with my coworker Brian, and he told me about this amazing book he was reading online. He was telling me that in the first paragraph, the author of the book wrote,

“As you continue to read, focus on the message and pay close attention to what I'm saying, you may… become aware of the stark contrast between the black letters and the white screen. As this contrast becomes more and more interesting, you may find yourself suddenly able to place your attention on your breathing. When you begin to pay attention to how you're breathing, notice the rise and fall of your chest as you continue to inhale and exhale. And as you notice your breath, you may begin to… feel a slight movement of your head.”

Whether you were able to notice what just happened and think about how I led you through that process, I want to make you aware of how Ericksonian language patterns work. There's a lot to them, and it can often be confusing at first. But if I were to ask you to… imagine yourself, a week from now, suddenly able to understand how they work, and looking back on this article as the beginning of that new understanding, how would it make you feel to know you had learned so much that you could begin to incorporate such patterns into the way you communicate?

weasel phrase

Let's take this chunk-by-chunk. It's the only way to begin to make sense of what can seem like a brand-new way to think about language.

The basic idea is this: you want to capture and lead the imagination of your audience.

In order to do so, as I mentioned in my article on NLP basics, you need to have a goal in mind. You need to know where you want to lead, and want to end up, so that you can take the other person there with you.

Since the goal of being able to capture and lead a person's imagination is to elicit an emotional state, you need to first choose the state you'd like them to be in.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It’s So Very Important

Chase Amante's picture

relationship precedentPoorly-set precedent: it's the scourge of relationships across the face of mankind. Every day, the whole of the male sex collectively writhes in agony at its own terribly-set precedent coming back to haunt it - and bit it right in the ass. Bad precedent is the unadulterated cause of:

  • Ending up the platonic, sexless orbiter trapped in a girl's friend zone

  • Becoming viewed as a promising boyfriend candidate instead of a lover

  • Finding yourself in a relationship where you're doing all of the work

  • Being endlessly browbeaten by an overly dramatic girlfriend

  • Losing a woman's respect and attraction in any kind of relationship

Some time back, I posted the article about operant conditioning here, and how this kind of relationship training and management is used for guiding and directing your relationships in the directions you want them to go.

We also discussed briefly in that article how incorrect use of operant conditioning actually reinforces and encourages bad behavior that is destructive to the relationship and harmful to both the man's and the woman’s levels of happiness and contentedness within it.

An understanding of operant conditioning - basically, that how you respond to good, bad, and neutral behavior from someone who's a part of your life influences how likely you are to see that behavior again, and how often, and how much it escalates - is necessary for an understanding of precedent: that what came before influences what is to come again.

And you will find that in your relationships, if you are perceptive enough, you can all but tell the future, simply by putting a microscope over the past - your past, your girlfriends' pasts, and the pasts you've shared together.

You can also determine the future, by building the kind of past precedent necessary to have the kind of future relationship you want, all by doing the right things now.

Yet, you'll find most people are not willing to do this, because a little more pain now for a lot more happiness later is a bargain 99% of people are unwilling to make.