Dating

Sometimes you meet a girl you want to see again after a night of passion. What you do after sex has a huge impact on whether she’ll want to keep seeing you.

Most of my articles focus on how to get girls for sex, but many men want to know what to do after sex.

Some guys are so shackled by their perceived limitations (Broken Man Syndrome) that they’re surprised when, after sex, a girl may actually want to see them again.

Men with dreams of being players or having harems drop those dreams as soon as they meet a girl who’s a notch more attractive than they’re used to. So they revert, act a little needy, and the girl figures she was duped. “He must not be the cool guy I thought he was. Oh well… next.” Meanwhile, these men are back to cold approaching girls at the mall, chasing the dream of being a player.

If you stumble upon a great girl and want to keep her in your life, what you do after sex is as critical as what you do before it.

If you can't tell when you've blown it, it's very hard to fix mistakes. Look for these 10 signs to always be able to tell when you've lost a girl (and why).

Over the years of coaching men to do well with women, I've spotted many key differences between the men who learn fast and the men who flounder.

One of those differences -- the one we'll talk about today -- is the ability to spot the moment in an interaction with a woman where things go from 'filled with potential' to 'crashed and burned'.

No one has a perfect pickup streak for too long. Everyone loses girls, botches courtships, and slips up:

• You approach a girl a wrong way

• You say something to her that offends her and turns her off

• You miss an escalation window she had wide open for you

• You propose the wrong thing and she declines

• You're too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and she leaves in disappointment

Everybody does these things at least sometimes.

However, what I have realized over time -- and it surprised me at first when it really clicked that it was this way for some guys, and that this was the source of many of their struggles -- was that some guys have no idea where they blown it with a girl.

For many guys (myself included), the moment you get too far off track with a girl you get that gut feeling of 'whoops, that might've done it' and you say to yourself, "Oh drat, missed a move / did that wrong. She might be lost."

This is vital to the improvement process, because when you know where you messed up, it is easy to fix the next go-round. You might be able to fix it during this or on your next interaction with the same girl. More likely, if you really have lost her, that girl is lost, but you can do things better next time with an entirely new girl you do not make that mistake with.

For some guys though, these signs things have gone awry are invisible. Every failed date or approach or seduction is a guessing game for such a man: what could have gone wrong? Why didn't it work? He has no idea. He just knows the date didn't work... but somewhere in there, in that two hours he spent with her, she went from 'interested in him' to 'no longer interested in him'. He just doesn't know where or why.

If you want to improve with girls at any rate faster than a sloth crawl, you need to spot the moment you lost a girl. This is sign what tells you where there's something to fix.

Does your relationship feel counterproductive to the life you want? It might be because you are too good for her. Here are some signs it’s time to find someone better.

Have you ever had a girlfriend and asked yourself if you’re too good for her? I have. And that’s about the point when we break up. But a lot of men seem to remain in these relationships, which ultimately turn toxic if they’re not already.

I’ve known men who date women who are obese, alcoholic, sociopathic, racist, ignorant, lazy, materialistic, unclean, stupid — all the worst imaginable traits. Yet they stay with these toxic women for years, some for life.

I could have become one of those guys myself if I hadn’t found this community and learned how to be better with women, to cold approach and learn how to meet new women at will, and develop a taste for self-improvement.

You'll do yourself a favor if you learn how to have abundance with women and not settle for a crappy relationship situation when you don't have to.

Here we cover the final transition phases in seduction, focusing on the factors that help you smoothly pull her home and escalate to sex with minimal resistance.

Welcome back, students of the game. If you missed the first five articles in this series, here they are:

1. The Best Mindset to Get Better with Women
2. Flavors of Screening and Volume Game
3. Zen and Naturally Attractive Personas
4. Influence Game and Optimization
5. The Transition Phases of Seduction

Through the eyes of Pete and Matthew, we’ve come to understand that choosing to become a screener, a natural, or a controller can send you hurtling toward a variety of exciting destinations in the seducer’s journey. But for you to realize your potential in each school of seduction, and start seeing better results in your dating life, you must take pragmatic steps to refine your cold approach process.

As we discussed in Part 5, whenever you consider the challenge of taking a new conquest to bed, to get the best odds of success, you need to lead her past all four transition phases. The choices you make during each transition phase form the backbone of your process. Unfortunately, it’s very common for men to lose beautiful women they could have had sex with because they made bad decisions during their attempted pickups. You can avoid those frustrating and disappointing experiences by learning how to make pragmatic choices as your seductions unfold.

Think of this series as your guide to playing the game adeptly. Like any game worth playing, though, practice makes perfect.

The topics we cover in this final article will serve as a comprehensive breakdown of the last two transition phases and the final dose of pragmatism in this series. So, read on if you’ve ever wondered how to get first date sex, close out your same-night lays, or even pull off same-day lays more consistently.

Expect women to remember everything you tell them. If they get conflicting information, it inevitably causes friction, so be mindful and congruent with what you share.

This is a little darker than most of my articles. My intent is to educate why it’s vital to control the information flow coming to and from women you're romantically involved with. Whether you’re new to getting girls, are experienced, want a monogamous long-term relationship, desire one-night stands, or prefer to date many women at once, it’s beneficial to manage the information that you share and convey.

Just to be clear, I am a HUGE fan of being open, honest, and upfront with women, and I do not condone lying. Our greatest mission as responsible men is to avoid hurting a girl, which can lead to many problems. Instead, our mission is to understand what we want with the opposite sex, and what women want from men, and to meet in the middle. We want to have fun together and experience a healthy relationship, doing our best to minimize emotional pain in the process.

However, women have superpowers when it comes to understanding men that many of us simply don’t have. They are masters at understanding social dynamics. Part of the reason all women are so good at this is that they’re masters at acquiring and processing different pieces of information very quickly.

So, as intelligent guys who are the leaders of women in the mating game, it’s our job to manage the flow of information to our women for their sanity as well as our own. Information control is related to frame control. What you tell and reveal to her influences the way she sees and values you, and how she executes her relationship with you.

The best information you can give her is inherently valuable to the type of man women are looking for: confident, dominant, attractive, sought after, healthy, masculine, passionate, among many other traits.

When a girl has a bad attitude, does it mean she’s a bitch? Is she having a bad day? How do you deal with her and move forward, and how do you know when to walk away?

What do you do with a girl who has a bad attitude?

Usually, when you’re seducing a girl right, she'll be more like a teenager in love. Yeah, maybe she teases you a little and doesn’t have a problem putting her foot down if you cross a line, but she’s almost entirely under your spell. She’s smiling, eager, curious, and almost can’t control her giddiness when she’s around you.

But seductions are not always so perfect.

Sometimes an amazing romance can begin with some attitude. Maybe it’s you that caused her bad attitude or something else.

She’s upset about something. I mean, she is a woman.

In these cases, they’re usually irritated with something. It’s in their nature. But she’s also human, and people go through stuff. So a bad attitude doesn’t always mean she’s a bitch. She might be, but you don’t know until you have the experience to distinguish between a girl with attitude and a girl with a bad attitude.

As men, we lean toward calling her a “bitch.” It’s an instinctual disgust of women with too much attitude. We see them as unruly and unreasonable.

When a girl around me has a bad attitude, even if it’s not directed toward me, it irks me. And it should, to an extent.

You should also find it funny. I mean, what’s this girl’s ire to you? She’s just a girl.

But what if she’s your girl or you want her to be yours? Her crappy attitude can ruin the whole vibe. Unless, of course, you handle it right.

Let’s learn how to deal with a girl’s bad attitude, or when to know that it’s not worth the trouble.

When other things in life take priority over meeting women, it can hurt you, or help you. Which depends on the vibe you give out and your ability to pick up on signals.

Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to get with new girls. It happens to all of us. People have slumps when they’re not succeeding with women, or they’re simply too busy with day-to-day life. Heavy work, social commitments, school, tests, or even extensive work travel can deeply interfere with your dating goals.

I’ve faced this problem often as I am now self-employed. Work travel commitments call, and while it opens interesting opportunities with women in new places, I can also kiss my regular dating life goodbye.

Cold approach success, whether in day game or night game, requires some consistency. We can best describe momentum as the consistency of success. It’s like being hot-handed in basketball; in momentum, you’re in a mental zone conducive to a winning game. Whether you call it a vibe or a state of mind, your decision-making and efforts are in tune, and everything you do conveys the winner’s attitude that women find very attractive in men.

When you experience low momentum and low desire, the results are different. Socialization, especially with women, might feel tedious in such periods. Your vibe is just “off,” as are your results. The good news is that all issues with low momentum and desire are solvable, and quickly.

It’s easy to shift out of it if you know how!