Confidence

I wonder how many of you fellow sexy men can identify with being a “hard case”? For how many of you is learning seduction, becoming a better, sexier man, and getting better with women not just a way to “have more control over your sex life”, but also a vital necessity, because otherwise “settling down” in the evening would be beyond your reach?

How many of you found this site not after a bad break-up (or several) but because you’ve never even had someone to have a bad break-up with in the first place?

When I first started on this path I was like that – completely, utterly terrible with women and seemingly beyond repair. So much so, that it took me YEARS just to get that first lay.

I remember thinking how much I hated the fact that I was struggling with something that came naturally to others.

Even though I had one friend at the time who impressed me immensely with his sexual conquests, his results were so far from my reality that even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t imagine that one day I’d be in a position where, like him, sex was just a few text messages and a drink or two away. Or that I’d compete with another natural buddy for the same women in bars (for mutual self-amusement) and be the one taking them home more often than not.

No, during those early years I would’ve sold my soul just to be “normal”; to find a nice, simple girl, who would like me (alright, who are we kidding, I would’ve settled with “tolerate me”); one who I could treat like a princess and be monogamous with. I had those fantasies despite knowing full well that it wouldn’t work long-term and that I would never feel fulfilled being monogamous; restrained.

But for me even this “Plan B” was not in the cards.

It’s funny, but looking back, I consider myself to be very fortunate to not even have had the option to succumb to this temptation. Or, simply said, being completely terrible with women was one of the best things that happened in my life, as it pushed me not to resort to the seductive mistress that is mediocrity.

I’ll be frank – with this article my goal is not to teach you anything in particular, maybe just show a different way to look at your current circumstances.

This article is meant to motivate, to keep you going after a night out or a date when nothing really worked and you’re lying in your bed, lonely and wondering how much more wonderful life would be if only you could be “like normal guys” or if you “had a nice girlfriend” (or something similarly silly).

This article is also going to be very personal, as I will share some of the most embarrassing moments from my learning process and how “taking a beating” early resulted in disproportionate rewards later in life.

And in the same regard, I would like this article to be a sort of introduction. You’ve probably already seen my articles on becoming physically sexy (fashion, grooming), but the stories I’m about to share will set the context for some of the articles I will be writing in the future, and you’ll be able to have a better understanding of my background, my style, the way I do things, and, in turn, decide if that’s something you want for yourself or if maybe another author’s style is more suitable to you.

Hi everyone, hope you are doing well. If you haven’t seen many posts from me lately, it is not because I have been busy, but more that we have had a lot of article submissions from both new and old writers, which in itself should be good news for you.

The topic of today is social momentum.

Social momentum is a mental state (hence also the reason many people in the seduction community refers to this as “state” – “being in state”) where you feel in a social mood where you don’t only feel like socializing with people, but also manage to do so smoothly.

When approaching strangers, you will feel like your openings are smooth as butter – the reactions you will be getting from your approaches will most of the time be positive, and if that is not the case, you won’t bother about it and move on to the next girl/group. When you have social momentum, not only will you feel a boost of energy, but you will feel very social and stop fearing rejections.

So there are a few nice benefits of social momentum:

• You won’t fear rejections, so you will approach much more

• Due to your higher level of initial confidence, your approaches will tend to be smoother and your success rate will be higher

• You will have more fun, obviously

Compared to many other theories in pick-up and seduction, with this one there is a consensus that social momentum is a powerful factor. Everybody agrees that once you build enough social momentum, picking up women becomes much easier and smoother. You just feel on fire – you are the god of the night and nothing can stop you. We will discuss in this post how you can reach it.

However, where the opinion differs is our attitude toward it – should we depend on it or not? Should we give up and go home if we haven’t built social momentum? If not, what can we do if we don’t feel in the mood to socialize? All these questions and more will be answered in this post.

We are all infected.

The Walking Dead is one of the most popular TV-series in the world right now. It is a show about survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggle to stay alive... at least on the surface. However, underneath all the blood and gore is actually a show about egos and the stress we feel when things in life don’t go as planned (as usually is the case). One of the strongest themes underlying the show is growth of egomaniacal characters in their quest to “survive”.

The show brings up questions that draw a fine line between what it takes to survive and what it means to go too far. The show is just a fiction, but part of its appeal is that it reflects a lot of people’s concerns and struggles with the question of “what is really necessary?” and “what is egomaniacal?”

One of the main concepts of the show is “we are all infected”, which we can translate roughly to: we are all one mistake or slip away from becoming someone else’s nightmare. If we give up, quit, become a burden, choose an easy path to “survival”, we become the problem for the few left who haven’t.

Are we takers? Or do we walk the line?

Well, for those of you who don’t watch the show, don’t worry, I only bring it up because the topic of this article is egomania, and the famous line “we are all infected” is a good starting point for discussing it.

The number one problem beginners and intermediate guys have with seduction is that they believe they are immune to egomania and don’t need to address it. You think you couldn’t possibly be a bad guy and so never consider that it’s quite possible you are.

Beginners complain and whinge and cry about how THEY are special, about how THEY are the exception to every rule, because they are overwhelmed and surprised by the sheer aggressiveness of reality and how HARD it bitch slaps them into taking responsibility onto their shoulders.

Guys will resort to anything to avoid real improvement:

• Ask a girl they only sort of like to marry them
• Abandon responsibilities as a decent dad and become a drunk
• Avoid women entirely and resort to a porn oasis to get by
  

Our mistakes often aren’t THAT drastic, normally it is a bit of cynicism here, a few nasty edged decisions there, and an indulgence on occasion that screws over someone you don’t know now and then.

You figure, “Hey? What is the harm?” and you get into the habit of sucking, until one day a responsibility is too big, and BAM, you become the bad guy you swore you never would be.

Egomania is a real thing and you START OFF infected.

Welcome back to the journey! Hope you enjoyed the loving in the last article.

So far, we’ve covered:

• In Part 1: how to become arrogant and eradicate fear

• In Part 2: the myth of the heartless player and the risks of arrogance

• In Part 3: how to cultivate humility and temper arrogance

• In Part 4: how to love people, learn from them, and take responsibility for others’ feelings

Before we start to develop a healthy love for women, we’re going to identify the venomous thoughts we have about them... because all these things are deep, entrenched obstacles to happy relationships, a stable psyche, and true, breakout, to-the-rooftops-good success.

As men, we often want to solve every little detail when it comes to women, especially when we are feeling cynical (when we don’t try in life). You don’t think you deserve it, you don’t want to hear confirmation that you suck, you just want to stay deaf, dumb, and blind. How can things ever work out unless you hold the MAGIC answers? How can you ever be good enough unless you can prove it? How can you progress at all if you don’t know everything there is to know?

You think you are doomed because you don’t know it all, and so you want all the details; you want to have it all figured out ahead of time. But what if I told you, the details will only get you to the fight. What if I told you that the fight you will then enter will suck and hurt, and all your obsessive planning will be minimally useful from this point on. Would you still rush to know it all, knowing it will only get you out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Sometimes we feel so compelled towards our desire for solutions and the truth that we cannot help but feel the allure of being a cynic, at least temporarily. So in this article I am going to explain to you why positivity is more valuable than every little detail about something you can find... and we’ll also discuss why it’s such an important tool to master and practical applications of it in our dating lives.

Howdy folks,

In Part 1 of this series we covered how one can utilize the virtue of arrogance to kill the weakness within. In Part 2 we experienced the pain of misusing arrogance.

Here in Part 3 we will discuss humility, the sheath that can reign in the sword of arrogance.

In this post I will discuss a very simple concept: moving on. This seems so basic and so trivial to many men, but, believe it or not, this is where most rookies and even intermediate players fail.

In the comment section we often get questions where the obvious answer is “You should have moved on.”

Still though, many expect a more interesting answer, so we try to give them some more feedback that could help them with their issue, and though our suggestion might work, honestly, if I were in their situation I would have simply moved on, and I can with confidence say that many of my colleagues here would have done the same.

Let us quickly explain what is meant by moving on and why the ability to do so is attractive before discussing different scenarios in which moving on is especially useful.