- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
- Messages
- 3
I've been going steady with this girl for the past 9 months now. I've known her for more than a year.
Initially it was just the fact that we enjoyed each others' company, the feeling that we could share anything with each other, and the fact that our bedroom chemistry was incredible.
But around 4 months ago (Dec), we fell in love with each other. Well I was in love with her before that, and I think she could sense it, but it was then that she confessed her love for me. She even hinted that she would love to spend her life with me. Needless to say, I was (we both were) in heaven. A month after that, in January, she had to move to a different city for work (temporarily). We kept meeting each other though, and the chemistry was always amazing.
Last month (March) we got into an argument over the phone. This was our first fight really, and she saw a side of me she had never seen. Honestly it was not so bad, I just shouted a bit, but I think it shocked her to see me that way. Immediately after the fight I went to see her, and I could have sworn everything went back to normal.
But soon she showed signs of distancing herself from me. Although she never admitted it, we were drifting apart. Where she used to call me 10 times a day to share every tiny detail of her life, now she wasn't even answering my calls. Where there was so much affection and mushiness in her voice, now there was no emotion. But we both were afraid to say that the relationship was about to end.
I am sorry to say that things dragged on this way for some time. We were speaking to each other almost every day, but there was no connection. Of late she had come to my city again for some work, and she visited me. Although she stayed at my place, we ended up not sleeping in the same bed. But we got around to talking in depth about the whole issue.
Now would be a good time to tell you some history about my girl. We're both hitting 30 in a couple of years. She has had 3-4 relationships prior to this, but she has never been in reciprocating love with someone before me. That is to say, the one guy who she loved never loved her back, and for other guys who loved her, she never had any feelings. Also, 2 of her boyfriends cheated on her while they were dating her. Suffice to say that this is the FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP that she has ever had, with true feelings, no cheating, the whole works. Further, she was single (well she had a casual fling) for almost three years before she started dating me.
Anyway, since we spoke that day, she went back to her city and took a couple of days to think things over. When we spoke later, she expressed her desire to end the relationship saying that maybe I wasn't the person for her. That she wanted to end it might make sense because she had become something of a loner having spent so much time being single, and she has no idea how things go in a real relationship.
Heartbroken, I told her that she was making a mistake and to please be back to normal again. Don't cringe, I know maybe I should never have said it and should just have ended things, but after a few minutes she said "yes, let's go back to normal". I was surprised to be honest, but I got the feeling that the moment we were about to separate, she also felt that it was a mistake to let go of me.
I then said we should take a short vacation together, and she said yes. This was last week.
However, things haven't gone back to normal. Things are stiff between us, and although I am trying to be as affectionate as I can with her over the phone, she isn't showing much affection to me. I can feel that the love is still there from her side, hiding under a layer of doubt, perhaps? She's keeping herself extremely busy and doesn't have much time to talk to me these days. It feels like she's just mildly interested in the relationship and not giving it her full effort.
And from my side, well, I still love her like I have always. I feel like I can do anything to keep her in my life, to live my whole life with her, and all that.. You know how it goes..
I have been in 2 serious relationships before this and I've had casual ones with 3-4 girls, but this is the first time I've been in a situation like this. Is there absolutely anything I can do to get her to love me back the same way she did before? I know this girl is complicated and difficult because of her history and maybe some other things but she's totally worth it. So please can you help me get her to love me again?
Any pointers will be much appreciated. Thanks so much in advance. This means a lot to me.
Initially it was just the fact that we enjoyed each others' company, the feeling that we could share anything with each other, and the fact that our bedroom chemistry was incredible.
But around 4 months ago (Dec), we fell in love with each other. Well I was in love with her before that, and I think she could sense it, but it was then that she confessed her love for me. She even hinted that she would love to spend her life with me. Needless to say, I was (we both were) in heaven. A month after that, in January, she had to move to a different city for work (temporarily). We kept meeting each other though, and the chemistry was always amazing.
Last month (March) we got into an argument over the phone. This was our first fight really, and she saw a side of me she had never seen. Honestly it was not so bad, I just shouted a bit, but I think it shocked her to see me that way. Immediately after the fight I went to see her, and I could have sworn everything went back to normal.
But soon she showed signs of distancing herself from me. Although she never admitted it, we were drifting apart. Where she used to call me 10 times a day to share every tiny detail of her life, now she wasn't even answering my calls. Where there was so much affection and mushiness in her voice, now there was no emotion. But we both were afraid to say that the relationship was about to end.
I am sorry to say that things dragged on this way for some time. We were speaking to each other almost every day, but there was no connection. Of late she had come to my city again for some work, and she visited me. Although she stayed at my place, we ended up not sleeping in the same bed. But we got around to talking in depth about the whole issue.
Now would be a good time to tell you some history about my girl. We're both hitting 30 in a couple of years. She has had 3-4 relationships prior to this, but she has never been in reciprocating love with someone before me. That is to say, the one guy who she loved never loved her back, and for other guys who loved her, she never had any feelings. Also, 2 of her boyfriends cheated on her while they were dating her. Suffice to say that this is the FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP that she has ever had, with true feelings, no cheating, the whole works. Further, she was single (well she had a casual fling) for almost three years before she started dating me.
Anyway, since we spoke that day, she went back to her city and took a couple of days to think things over. When we spoke later, she expressed her desire to end the relationship saying that maybe I wasn't the person for her. That she wanted to end it might make sense because she had become something of a loner having spent so much time being single, and she has no idea how things go in a real relationship.
Heartbroken, I told her that she was making a mistake and to please be back to normal again. Don't cringe, I know maybe I should never have said it and should just have ended things, but after a few minutes she said "yes, let's go back to normal". I was surprised to be honest, but I got the feeling that the moment we were about to separate, she also felt that it was a mistake to let go of me.
I then said we should take a short vacation together, and she said yes. This was last week.
However, things haven't gone back to normal. Things are stiff between us, and although I am trying to be as affectionate as I can with her over the phone, she isn't showing much affection to me. I can feel that the love is still there from her side, hiding under a layer of doubt, perhaps? She's keeping herself extremely busy and doesn't have much time to talk to me these days. It feels like she's just mildly interested in the relationship and not giving it her full effort.
And from my side, well, I still love her like I have always. I feel like I can do anything to keep her in my life, to live my whole life with her, and all that.. You know how it goes..
I have been in 2 serious relationships before this and I've had casual ones with 3-4 girls, but this is the first time I've been in a situation like this. Is there absolutely anything I can do to get her to love me back the same way she did before? I know this girl is complicated and difficult because of her history and maybe some other things but she's totally worth it. So please can you help me get her to love me again?
Any pointers will be much appreciated. Thanks so much in advance. This means a lot to me.