I have sociopathic tendencies. And its ruining my relationships.

Me and my girl had a long discussion where we were talking about my selfishness. She actually called me out after I again did not hold my word for something I promised. It made me understand what I have been lacking for all my entire life. I hate to admit it, but I have some serious sociopathic tendencies that makes me lack empathy. My father is a narcissist, my older brother is sociopath, this fact alone should make it ring more bells when analyzing myself.

Throuhought my life in relationships, I have been:

*Cheating and trying to bed girls, and coming up with the lamest excuses if caught.
*Using girls for money, sex and validation. Often not thinking about how they might feel.
*Overly jealous and controlling. Like saying we are poly, but not letting her fuck other guys with actions. Never trusting. And often seeing other men as threats.

I don't know why these girls never told me this. Only my current girlfriend has the balls to call me out and making me unveil some of the dark sides of me. Being the self-help driven guy that I consider myself to be I am always looking for ways to improve. I want to be charming, I want to be deep, but I never thought of other people's feelings. I need to deal with this pronto. It has to take an end. For my own sanity. For my relationships.

I have been with 4 women in LTR. All of then wrecked. All of them hurt and angry. I dont feel like I can stay on my current relationship anymore ,cos whats the point if I am only inflicting pain? Maybe I should just be single, and deal with this before entering a new relationship. Either I deal with it now (to save what I have with my woman) or Ill just work it through alone.

I know this is long, but I need help. Do some of you have this issue? How do you deal with being an asshole, and is it a way for us to change?

We can at least change how we perceive ourselves, is it possible to learn how to perceive others?

A good way to start is to decide first what you want, then stick to it.. Do you want to bang lots of girls, move from one to another as you wish? Or do you rather prefer more meaningful and long term relationships?

Once you know what you want it is much easier to develop your frame.

If you want to just bang lots of girls just keep doing what you are doing. Keep cheating and lying, don't trust anyone and move forward. Many girls may actually perceive you as sort of 'alpha male', that asshole who comes, breaks their heart and leaves...

Quality relationships need more time, they take much more effort, you have to establish a good overall frame. She has to trust you, she has to know what to expect from you, she should know that you are there for her when she needs it. If you promised her that you are in monogamous relationship with her while you are banging other girls on the side, the trust is gone. If you are overly jealous and controlling, well, she knows that you are insecure, you have low confidence, you are needy and clingy...

So work on your character, know what you want and develop your frame. Many of the things you are describing have already been addressed here several times in different words. Remove the insecurity and neediness... To develop trust do what you have promised, regardless what she does. If you e.g. promised her that you are in monogamous relationship with her, cut the girls on side, that is the only way. Otherwise don't promise, don't pretend to be someone who you are not...

It is actually much easier: if you love somebody you don't have the need to cheat on them, or look around for better...

Kristian-

I have noticed among my sociopath friends who do well with girls and maintain charmed relationships even with their exes there is a common thread of, "I will make her adore me," where they get big ego hits from knowing that women love and admire them. Everybody does, but for them it's a central driver.

They also seem to define "winning" as not just capturing a woman's sex or relationship, but capturing her heart and mind. Such that even post-breakup, the girl remains highly admiring of them.

It sounds like you have the sort of temperament that could adopt this aim and do well with it.

General improvements to your own mate value (game, fundamentals, etc.) and abundance mentality should help with the jealousy and controlling behavior, since these tend to be behaviors men lose as they gain more mating confidence and view themselves as higher caliber mates. Dating higher caliber women who won't put up with this stuff will tend to make you knock it off too.

I haven't come across sociopaths who don't stray at least sometimes. However, the "I will make her adore me" ones get pretty good at smoothing things over once they've been found out. Though not always... one of my buddies like this has a human bite mark in his arm courtesy an enraged girlfriend following just such a dalliance.

Also... are you sure you're full-on sociopath and not just low empathy? Typically when I question a sociopath friend on whether he realizes some action he's taking is liable to cause a lot of harm to a girl, he just laughs it off and implies he doesn't care, or adopts feigned offense at the accusation.

Could just be you were being a typical reckless young guy, yet now you've begun to realize other people have feelings and you can affect those feelings... a pretty typical development pattern among lots of people of both sexes.

Chase

Drck said:

It is actually much easier: if you love somebody you don't have the need to cheat on them, or look around for better...

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I love her. Shes been one of the nicest most giving persons I've ever met. She is smart and has a good heart. At the same time I am nowhere near I were I want to be with women. I thought I could combine them both, and I am intending to do so. I have only been in monogamous relationships and this is the first time were I have the opportunity to have a girlfriend and upgrade my mating value and become better at managing relationships.

The other thing that is stopping me from settling is the fact that she has kids. I know for shure I want to become a father, and she being seven years older than me (she is 37) makes this dream more difficult to achieve. We have talked about this a lot during our relationship (we have been together for 1 year). I know I want kids, not right now, but in five years - as I manage to establish myself in career, financially and have achieved my goals when it comes to music, the next most logical goal will be raising my own child.

Chase said:

Also... are you sure you're full-on sociopath and not just low empathy? Typically when I question a sociopath friend on whether he realizes some action he's taking is liable to cause a lot of harm to a girl, he just laughs it off and implies he doesn't care, or adopts feigned offense at the accusation.

Click to expand...

That is a good point chase. I just feel like its difficult to read signs for how my actions affects people. There is a lot of nuances here, and if a girl doesn't say that something is not okay right away, I just tend to do my thing. I am not the best reader of feelings out there and I've told her to be more straight and honest if she feels like something I am doing is not right. If she doesnt I just walk all over her, without ever realizing it.

Now I am spending a lot of time with her. Shes been hurt by my constant need for validation, but I need to make it straight that I need to walk my own road. And that I hope we could walk together, but I cant be only hers. I suppose letting her meet other guys is the best option here, I just need to have a lot of abundance in order to pull this off.

Chase, you also wrote something interesting in the article How to act when a girl rejects you:

You've been deemed "not good enough." And that cuts to the very core of our egos and self-esteem.

I realized this fully while going through a bad breakup with an ex-girlfriend. As I analyzed the breakdown of the relationship, I realized that she'd ended up feeling, by my own mistakes and actions, as if she "wasn't good enough" for me... as if I'd been saying that she was good, but I thought I could do better. And I realized this is one of the deepest, most soul-wrenching feelings a person can have; to feel that someone -- especially someone who knows her well -- has rejected her as unworthy at a very primal level.

I got back together again for a time with that ex-girlfriend, for various reasons, but one of the primary ones being to go through a healing period; I wanted us to end on good terms, and I wanted her to understand it wasn't that she wasn't good enough for me.

Click to expand...

How did you go through a healing period with her? By being there wholeheartedly and not meeting other girls? And for how long? I think, if we find out she cant give me a non-monogamous relationship, due to my insecurities, I want us to end in good terms. She means a lot for me and after analyzing how I have been with her, I dont want her to sit with the feeling that I used her and rejected her. Not after all the things shes done for me. It wouldn't feel right doing so.

Any advice would be helpful.

Be careful. Of course she is sweet, cute, sexy and loveble. But she is also 37 and already has kids, that's lots of baggage to carry around... She is looking for a provider because she knows she will be off the market in 2-3 years. She will not have many choices, as a matter of fact, she already doesn't have many choices in comparison to girls 10-15 years younger. She has to compete very hard to get a good man...

You are young, 30 years old, ambicious, smart, no baggage... you have many choices, you can walk away anytime from that relationship without any losses... You should know your value, your value in that relationship is greater than hers... Don't sell yourself cheap...

Women are very smart, if you don't comply with what she wants, and she wants a provider, she will make you feel guilty about it in a subtle ways...

This is how it works:
* You alrady feel guilty about trying to bed girls... HUH??? You are a man, that is exactly what you should be doing
* Using girls for money, sex... Ok, sex is understandable, but don't girl use guys for money as well? Of course they do, just look around...
* Overly jealous and controlling... Ok, there is always lots of areas to work on and improve...

But the whole point is this: You think you are doing something bad, like trying to get other girls and use them for sex, and you feel guilty about it... Now switch it around: if you start behaving, if start taking care of one girl only (her and her children), if you stop chasing other girls, if you become a good man and good provider, if you settle down, the magic will suddenly happen: all the guilt is gone and you are happy again... And that is exactly what she wants, make you a good provider for her...

So be careful, no need to beat yourself down for character flaws... Realize your value, realize in which areas you can greatly improve, and then simply work on it... You have lots of choices...

Learn to "See trough the Love": What do you put on the table, and what does she put on the table? Many guys are fools, they put on the table 80-90% of what they have, and still feel guilty about not doing enough... Raising somebody elses children and pay for them may not be that bad, but is it what you really want to do?

Drck:

But the whole point is this: You think you are doing something bad, like trying to get other girls and use them for sex, and you feel guilty about it... Now switch it around: if you start behaving, if start taking care of one girl only (her and her children), if you stop chasing other girls, if you become a good man and good provider, if you settle down, the magic will suddenly happen: all the guilt is gone and you are happy again... And that is exactly what she wants, make you a good provider for her...

Click to expand...

True that. She has been very hard on me lately. And saying I need to seek help, and that is okay. It might be a good idea to talk to someone out of this relationship that can give me some insights. But I am not doing this for her, I will be doing this for me.

And the same time, I am not ready to be a good provider. I love her kids, but I cant become their father. I have my life to take of and things I still want to do. I just feel like she has been good for me. Saved my ass when I didn't have anything. Opened her home to me. Gave me what I needed and introduced me to new business opportunities and way of thinking that has helped me a lot. I feel like I at least want to stay friends with her. To show her that I still care, just not in a romantic way.

We haven't had any sex for more than two weeks now (we had almost every day before) and I am totally okay with that.

Learn to "See trough the Love": What do you put on the table, and what does she put on the table? Many guys are fools, they put on the table 80-90% of what they have, and still feel guilty about not doing enough... Raising somebody elses children and pay for them may not be that bad, but is it what you really want to do?

Click to expand...

Lets set her aside for a bit. The truth is, I dont care if we break up anymore. But I really love her kids, we lived together for a year and they really like me as a member of the family. I dont want them to feel abandoned and I want to stay friends and visit them from time to time.

Bro, what you are describing is a classical example how a man is loosing his frame, how a man is getting Betanized, pussy whipped...

It all starts with great vibes, nice feelings, love, sex... As the time goes she is slowly gaining more and more power in the relationship, and the guy agrees to it... Then, one day he wakes up and all his power is gone, he is left with blue balls, doesn't understand what happened, he feels bad for her, there is no sex, there is bad vibes, she does whatever she wants while he can't do anything without "punishment"... What he used to like is gone, he is no longer "allowed" to do it... It usually ends that the guy is dumped... After he is dumped he is still feel sorry for her - while she has no regrets at all...

Be very careful...

You should set strong boundaries otherwise she will be ridding all over you... You are already not getting anything, no sex, she is already putting you down... You are starting to believe that that is something wrong with you, that you need to see therapist...

If you lose your frame she will lose all your respect for you. Then, she will dump you, she will make you seem as a villain to all of her friends and family... Not to mention that you can forget any friendships...

You are THE MAN, she wants the man. She wants lover, not friend. You can't let her do this crap, trust me, otherwise she will dump you in no time without any regrets...

Here is a suggested therapy: Walk away. Show her that you can walk away with no regrets from her, don't contact her. Show her that you don't need her as a friend, show her that you are perfectly fine on your own. If she is still interested she will start going back after you, and if that is the case, you need to re-set your boundaries, you need to get back to a leading position... Stop making excuses for her, stop feeling bad for her, she is an adult and she knows what is she doing... Let he manage the relationship, she has a brain for it, not you - she simply needs to know that she will either make you feel good or you will walk away from unhealthy relationship with no regrets, simple as that...


Good luck, let us know how are you doing

- Drck

Its almost frightening how you describe how our relationship has been. Not only have I read a lot about the betaization process a lot of guys go through both here and on other forums, based on your last commentary last month I decided not to try to save things with my girl and our relationship ended shortly after.

The last three weeks has been about analyzing our relationship and trying to find the mistakes that led to the demise of our relationship. I can clearly see the stages we went through.

• 1. A strong, initial attraction from both of us. When we first met one and a half year ago, I was seeing someone else. But this girl seemed exiting and had some progressive views that I liked. I presented myself as a non-monogamous option, and after some intense weeks with a lot of drugs and wild sex, I decided to end the relationship with the last girl I was seeing. We went through a honeymoon phase. It all was awesome and we couldn't wait to hang out so we could have sex and awesome conversations.
  
  2. I lost my job. And had to move out from where I was living. This started shortly after I got to know her kids (which was one of her conditions to continue seeing her). I could have ended it then and there, but I did not have any abundance mentality so I said yes. She also said I could move in just for a short moment until things got sorted out. Our agreement was for 2 months, but we ended living together for a year and I began to become dependent on her for housing and some financial support while I was looking for a job.
  
  3. Our relationship was going well for several months. She liked the fact that I was non-monogamous and that she also had an opportunity to see other guys. However, she did not do that (to my knowledge) and behaved very feminine around me. Always down for sex and she was happy to be with someone like me.
  
  4. But then I kind of fucked up. I guess she got tired of me having a girl on the side and flirting around. So she started going more out. Suddenly she announces she will be hanging out with someone. She got out one night, and when I was taking care of her kids I went out when her eldest daughter (whos 16) came home. I kind of freaked out because she was with someone else. Then she freaked out as well and we started fighting a bit. She suddenly froze me out, and instead of talking about it, she just stopped talking to me, refused to have sex and losing respect for me. She was being more and more rude, often in front of people and I did not have any place to go. So I just had to endure the coldness and some verbal abuse. She also went from having sex with me almost every day, to only giving it a couple of times a month. I became more and more complacent and scared of her constant mood swings. This was the worst part of our relationship.
  
  5. Then, out of nowhere I just gave up. "This relationship is fucked up and ruined, " I thought to myself. The plan now was to just "hang in there" until my financial situation got better. I stopped supplicating, and started flirting with different girls. I even started dating some women and having a couple of new adventures (and the openness we had before was not there anymore, I did not feel the need, to be honest when she was freezing me out). She began noticing this and started becoming more feminine again. The sex was getting better and she was chasing me. However, I felt that our relationship was damaged not to be fixed again. I told her about my adventures (big mistake) and she flipped out again. However, since I just came from a freeze out, I told her to knock that off or else I would just leave the whole thing. I guess her game did not work for me anymore, so she changed tactics this time.
  
  6. So the last two months of our relationship she made a lot of drama. Specially when I started working again and making money. I told her I was going to move out, but I did not intend on being exclusive to her, and that things might end. She again flipped out, tried to send me to all kind of guilt trips. She also found out that I had two girls over at my place when I moved out, and made even more drama. So when she started threatening me with ending the relationship, I said: "okay then, fine for me". She was in shock because most guys shes been with has supplicated a lot ending in her sometimes cheating on them, or losing respect for them. She cried and called and spent her time making a lot of drama, I stopped caring. And she suddenly ended in massive auto-rejection on her part. Hating my guts and acting cold.

But I also remember in stage 5, when she wanted to betasize me again with coldness, she was also talking about her "independence" and thinking about herself. She also fluctuated between saying that relationships have stages, and that she eventually wanted a friend to share responsibilities with and that sex wasn't that important in her betaization days - to that sex is important and having sex every day is not uncommon in her more "feminine days" in our relationship. I guess her view on sex changed according to how dominant I was.

I also spent time to map out her relationship past. She is a former party girl (and looking back at our courtship she is still a party girl, but having kids has made her less so), and had more than 30 sexual partners, and often 3 - 4 at the same time. She has also had three serious relationships in the past. One with the father from her eldest daughter, a guy she betasized so much they stopped having sex completely for a year or so before she ended up cheating on him and eventually breaking up with the guy. This happened 13 years ago, and even to this day the poor guy is still bitter and revengeful for what happened.

The next guy was a her friend. He liked her for a wile before ending up together, but because he did not have a strong frame, she ended up losing respect for him and dumping him as well. The third one was a guy from western africa, which she ended having three more kids with. He was 10 years her senior and had a lot of experience with women from her stories. He ended up losing it after finding out about her sexual past, this guys became overly jelaous and even got a restraining order after alledgelly beating her up. When our relationship got serious she git him kicked out of the country (Norway) because he did not had residence permit and did not get custody for her children. I kind of felt sorry for the guy.

But looking at her past I can only see angry men. It could be that they were weak and immature, but it could also be that they all got trapped in a supplicative frame and couldn't take it anymore. Looking back at how cold she treated me, I guess some of it might be true. The difference between me and those guys is that I had tools like GS and other dating advice websites, that together with me never always approaching new prospects kept my sanity. If it wasnt for that, I would have ended up destroyed, and with no confidence to find a replacement.

However, I have to take some of the blame here. I didn't have to live together with her for instance, and if I had an abundance mindset, I would have left the relationship a long time ago. I also fucked up being overly jealous when she wanted to fuck some other guys, and did not handle things properly when she started freezing me out/causing drama. I also spent time being lazy in the relationship, like not helping out at home or caring enough. But I still have room to improve, like you guys said.

Now it's been a month ago we last talked. I moved on really well and even had a fling with a young girl again which as helped me tremendously. I still love my ex-girlfriends kids and they miss me. So ive tried to set up a couple of meetings with them the last four weeks, she is acting cold though, and I have a feeling that she is seeing someone else. Which is fine for me, I want to hang out with her kids sometimes, but I have no problem with just not having any contact anymore. I just miss them and are willing to be friends with her if that's okay, but that being said, I don't mind never talking to her again to be honest.

So now I am back at the game again. I am having a lot of time for myself, and improving my fundamentals so much that I am getting more attention from women than ever. I guess my value has gone up and I have time to keep improving my skills with girls. I have also less drama in my life, resulting in more energy for my career and women. I quit smoking weed every day, and stopped taking MDMA altogether. Drugs don't have the same appeal to me anymore. Life is just easier this way.

I wish we could stay friends, but I guess that thing is not in the cards. I sometimes miss her, especially in the mornings - but I also realize how much my life has improved since we split up.

So thank you for the advice. I hope some of you could share your thoughts on my story. It helps putting things together and making sure I don't make the same mistake again.

It is difficult man... Reading your last comment, I'm thinking that she was/is looking for a long term relationship, provider as mentioned above. It would be surprising if she didn't. She was investing into you by letting you stay at her place when you lost your job, perhaps thinking that you are the good provider, and even though she was open for non-monogamous relationship she was shifting towards monogamy... She wanted to settle down while she had the free hand to look around for another/better provider... As you say under (4), she didn't like much when you were going out with other girls, that simply didn't agree with her idea of LT relationship...

Most likely she feels or felt used, she thought she will help you with the promise (in her mind) that you will become a provider, but you didn't fit into her plan... Perhaps she tried to get you back again (5), so she improved the sex life and started to chase you... Then you got better job and income (6), and told her that you are moving out... She most likely felt used, thus she put out lots of guilt feelings and drama... And since she felt she had no power over you, the massive auto-rejections arrived... So you probably showed her too much power at this point, 80% plus, that's why the massive rejection, she had no say in the relationship...

As you said, she was used to lots of attention from guys, she used to party, her esteem was quite high. But her biological clock is ticking, she has baggage (children, slept with lots of guys, age), she knows that she is less and less desirable each year... You showing her that you can walk away after she invested into you is a big hole in her self-esteem, she might hate you for that, and she might even desire revenge (beware)...

Personally I believe that in order for long term relationship to work, some Betanization/Provider-ship is needed. Relationship is sort of subliminal struggle for power, we may not feel it but it is constantly there, one or the other partner is pushing for upper hand... I believe if one partner has persistent power say 70% or more vs the other partner only 30% or less, in my opinion the relationship is not healthy... One is too dominant, the other one has no space to breathe... So if a guy is too dominant, e.g. 80%, the relationship is not stable. He needs to shift the dominance lower, to levels 50-60% and keep it there... That way she feels that she has some power in relationship...

I believe that most women have amazing abilities to manage relationships, unlike us guys they can do it intuitively. At first, she will give you great feelings, great sex, she is feminine, all feels great, you feel confident, you have one of the best feelings in your life, you feel at the top of the world... You feel that you got those 90%... But then things start shifting, some women are well aware of this yet others perhaps do it subconsciously...

Once she feels that you have a good emotional connection with her and you won't leave so easily, she will start slowly gaining power. The best and simplest way for her is to gain power by regulating sex and your feelings. She starts giving you less and less sex. She also start putting out guilt feelings: You do this and I'll show you lots of love, but if you do that I will make you feel quite miserable about yourself...

Simple yet powerful techniques, if a guy is unaware he may easily lose all of his power... I don't think that most women do it in mischievous way (as Red Pill guys could think), it is simply female's natural reaction to keep the male around by controlling his behavior... If she can then control him and he does as she wants, she usually loses all interest in him and just keeps him around until she finds another guy. If she can't control him at all (yet he is still in her reach), she keeps high interest in him...

Many good guys fall to female control, simply because we were not born with brain that can manage relationships, and nobody ever thought us about relationships... We are too nice because we were raised believing that being nice is appropriate, normal... we were told that this is what men do, and indeed, many men around do those things...

Many guys go from 90% to 30% or less over some time, it could be couple months or couple years... There are stories like that here on GC, but if you look around I bet you'll find couple guys like that where you live... Just listen to the stories...

The guy then wakes up after some time and notices that the sweet and loving girl turned into a cold bitch with different personality... In worse case scenarios she is now treatening with divorce because she has lost all respect for him... He has to pay alimony and child support, he has to move out of house he paid for, he feels responsible for her depression, the whole family and friends sees him as villain, while everybody feels sorry for this innocent girl... It is not unusual that this innocent girl is actually fucking another guy(s) on the side... Perhaps the worse thing is that he doesn't even understand what has happened, he has no tools to protect himself...

He then carries tremendous guilt on his shoulders, he is depressed and bitter, he has no desire for other women, all he wants to is to drink so he can forget his screwed up life... Only if lucky he finds sites like GC or some Red Pill, which at least helps him to understand...

Blue Balls and Red Pills, Meat Valets, the same story over and over, who knows how many guys suffer out there...

That is why it is so important to keep your (our) solid frame. In relationships we can't go below 50%, it gives her too much power, and once she has too much power she loses all respect... Depending on her behavior, a guy needs to keep 50-70% of power and control. She needs to know that the guy will walk away if she starts pulling her crap... Perhaps it makes you even wonder whether there is any point to keep aiming for LTR, although it is quite comfortable to live with female, it is just a constant struggle...


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Broken relationships are difficult... It takes too much energy to fix it, and many times the fixes are not effective anyway, the hurt feelings are still there no matter what... IMO it is much easier to simply start another/healthy relationship... Another good reason why to have a solid frame right from the beginning, so the damage can be avoided at first place ...

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Looking back, I grew up as naive Ideologist, I read lots of books about heroes, I dreamed about purity, about that one special girl who will fall in love with me and then love me for the rest of her life... I dreamed about a girl who would never slept with other guys... It was like living in a fantasy world, and perhaps many times I am still because it is so much easier than reality... I grew up with a strong and beautiful frame - of a Nice Guy...

So the Reality could be quite harsh for some of us... We then swallow Red Pill, and the whole great Ideology is gone, what is left many times is just bitter Reality... The inner Realist then tells me, It is what it is, Life is neither good or bad, Life is only how you perceive it, and perhaps on higher level: Life is only the way how we chose to perceive it...

Anyhow, Good Luck, hope other guys will add their input...

-Drck

Thank you very much. I have read and re-read your last commentary. It has given a lot of hope because I have been through a lot lately. My ex-girlfriend is talking shit about me and even my sister is against me after hanging out with her lately. It sad because I was the one pushing them to become friends, and now I see how everything I've said - even things about me and my ex that was confidential - has been used against me. It's almost sickening to hear from my sister that she agrees with my ex's viewpoint on me. I feel a little betrayed and I don't know If I can be forgiving about this thing.

But before this happened, I got a visit from my ex yesterday. She was crying and I spent almost two hours trying to console her. I told her I hope we could be friends and that I am not mad at her, and that I hope she can move on soon. She also told me that she feels sorry for me, and that I was going to end up alone and bitter. The fact is that I am not bitter at all. I am completely fine being by myself, I did not want to say this, but I know she could feel that I was pretty over her. That must have made her furious because I was behaving more like a friend and wishing her good luck.

Now I have to look forward. I am just pretty sad that my own sister is taking her side without making sure the facts are on the table. It feels unfair that her family and friends are seeing me as the villain.

.................................

But I also have to remember that I am a cool guy. And I've been told that by my pals and a new fling I've had lately. I am a good person. I do care and I deserve the best. So thank you Drck for reminding me of this.

.................................

And talking about relationships, I don't know man, I feel like I can't be in a ltr anymore. It seems like they love me when I am free and start creating drama when I become theirs. I don't think it's worth the hassle anymore to be honest.

The only thing that could make me want to consider a LTR is the fact that I do want kids, but with the way things are here in the west I don't know if settling is the right thing to do. Maybe I am just too angry at women at the moment. I thought me and my ex could just end this in a civil way, but instead she is dragging me down and even getting my sister on her side. I am just too pissed right now.

Haha, thank you.

I am over this experience, thankfully and already meeting someone new. This time being more mindful about games and bullshit.

And I am a lot more honest than I used to be.

- Kristian

Going to add some information here;

Sociopathic tendencies are not a bad thing. If you take a look at any real leader you'll find that they score highly in psychopathy and sociopathy across all kinds of personality tests, trait tests, etc. They have to in order to take on the responsibilities that come with high end jobs or careers.

Despite being an empath I also have some sociopathic and psychopathic traits that contribute to me being a good leader and a good seducer. For me, instead of constantly running my life without emotion, empathy, etc. I'm more or less able to hit the on-off switch at will. When I decide that a person is toxic for me or no good in my life then I am completely capable of cutting them out (which utilizes some sociopathy and psychopathy). The fact that I'm able to remain calm under immense pressure is another example, etc.

The natural inclination is to think of sociopaths and psychopaths as criminals, as deranged, and as the evil in world but it's not true; they're just traits and qualities that almost all people have and at the end of the day you make a choice on how to use them.

-Richard