Hello everyone,
It's been a while since the last time I've posted here, and I actually have been lagging behind in my game as well for a lot of reasons, primarily the weather, lack of momentum and school that's taking too much of my time.
I'm gonna tell you about what happened last night at a party, and how I lost the girl I was talking to.
Context and Intro
I've been in Paris for about 8 months now, and the biggest student association (which I'm part of) in the school I'm in hosts open bar parties every now and then. Last night was one of those times, and being in the association I had a shift on the shots bar from 1am till 2am.
I get to the party at around 11pm, I chill with my friends a bit, then grab a beer. While getting away from the bar I spot a group of friends, all foreigners like me, including a German guy I know, who had brought a girl with him (I know because I put her on the entry list). The girl was in the group as well, but not talking to him, rather chatting with another guy. So I go in, say hello to everyone and introduce myself to the girl. She seems like she doesn't speak French very well, so I ask her about it and it turns out she's American. Great I can speak freely in English now. I keep chatting with her, the other guy she was talking with falls back and, I separate her from the group after a bit, seeing that we have our "bubble" built up. I asked her if she came with the German guy and she said yes, but didn't talk much about that. For the record, the German guy kind of embodies the stereotype of German people who are very serious and almost robot-like, so I was having a hard time imagining him with a date to begin with.
The Conversation
After splitting her from the group we kept the conversation going. Honestly it's one of the rare times where the conversation flowed very easily with almost no effort. There were certainly silences where I didn't know what to say, but then I would ask her about her experience in Paris or something similar and that would drag on for a bit. I moved her quite a bit, from inside to outside to back inside. I had social proof on my side, people would pass and say hello to me. At one point 2 of my Lebanese friends came and talked to me for a few seconds giving me more social proof. Since I'm in the student association I simply went behind the bar and refilled my beer which adds more to it as well.
What I lacked on the other hand was the sexual vibe. It was fun and everything, and the eye contact was really strong but the interaction was not very sexual. I did a bit of incidental touching, high fives and so on, and she seemed pretty comfortable with it, but I didn't escalate much further (no idea why). And the alcohol actually hit me harder and faster than I expected, probably because I hadn't eaten beforehand. Now that I think about it I could have also opened a sexual topic, the transition wouldn't have been very difficult.
At one point we were talking inside, the German guy comes to us and he tells her that they are dancing inside if she wants to join them. She says okay and turns back to me.
How To Lose Your Girl
This is the interesting part, and frankly my main motivation for writing this post. Sometimes, no matter what we do, something is gonna go awry, and you can't do anything about it.
As we continued to talk, I look at my watch; it's almost 1pm, time for my shift. I tell her that I have my shift till 2pm, and I ask her if she's still gonna be there. She says probably yes, and that she didn't have a plan, so she'll stay for as long she wants. I tell her to come with me to the bar so that I make us 2 shots. When I get there, I start prepping the shots, a guy who was ordering some asks her if she wants to drink with them, she was like what? and then the guy says you said yes come on. So I make the shots, I look up, she was gone with that guy. Yep that fast. I was caught off guard at first but then I realized that this is how it goes in parties.
Long story short, I end up going to the other bar to help serving cocktails and beer, and she comes to the bar with the guy and asks me for a gin tonic. Afterwards I saw her with the German guy again but doesn't really matter to the story anymore.
Conclusion
I guess the lesson here is don't let anything sabotage your pickup. There are a lot of articles about how to deal with potential cockblocks, whether it's your friends, hers or any person who decides to tag along. Moving fast is also a good thing to do. But as you've seen in this story, sometimes there are circumstances out of our control that can fuck things up.
The lessons I learned for myself is that I need to get back in the game after this period of inactivity and build my momentum back up. I also have to be more sexual, verbally and non-verbally, and calibrate my vibe to the situation.
It's been a while since the last time I've posted here, and I actually have been lagging behind in my game as well for a lot of reasons, primarily the weather, lack of momentum and school that's taking too much of my time.
I'm gonna tell you about what happened last night at a party, and how I lost the girl I was talking to.
Context and Intro
I've been in Paris for about 8 months now, and the biggest student association (which I'm part of) in the school I'm in hosts open bar parties every now and then. Last night was one of those times, and being in the association I had a shift on the shots bar from 1am till 2am.
I get to the party at around 11pm, I chill with my friends a bit, then grab a beer. While getting away from the bar I spot a group of friends, all foreigners like me, including a German guy I know, who had brought a girl with him (I know because I put her on the entry list). The girl was in the group as well, but not talking to him, rather chatting with another guy. So I go in, say hello to everyone and introduce myself to the girl. She seems like she doesn't speak French very well, so I ask her about it and it turns out she's American. Great I can speak freely in English now. I keep chatting with her, the other guy she was talking with falls back and, I separate her from the group after a bit, seeing that we have our "bubble" built up. I asked her if she came with the German guy and she said yes, but didn't talk much about that. For the record, the German guy kind of embodies the stereotype of German people who are very serious and almost robot-like, so I was having a hard time imagining him with a date to begin with.
The Conversation
After splitting her from the group we kept the conversation going. Honestly it's one of the rare times where the conversation flowed very easily with almost no effort. There were certainly silences where I didn't know what to say, but then I would ask her about her experience in Paris or something similar and that would drag on for a bit. I moved her quite a bit, from inside to outside to back inside. I had social proof on my side, people would pass and say hello to me. At one point 2 of my Lebanese friends came and talked to me for a few seconds giving me more social proof. Since I'm in the student association I simply went behind the bar and refilled my beer which adds more to it as well.
What I lacked on the other hand was the sexual vibe. It was fun and everything, and the eye contact was really strong but the interaction was not very sexual. I did a bit of incidental touching, high fives and so on, and she seemed pretty comfortable with it, but I didn't escalate much further (no idea why). And the alcohol actually hit me harder and faster than I expected, probably because I hadn't eaten beforehand. Now that I think about it I could have also opened a sexual topic, the transition wouldn't have been very difficult.
At one point we were talking inside, the German guy comes to us and he tells her that they are dancing inside if she wants to join them. She says okay and turns back to me.
How To Lose Your Girl
This is the interesting part, and frankly my main motivation for writing this post. Sometimes, no matter what we do, something is gonna go awry, and you can't do anything about it.
As we continued to talk, I look at my watch; it's almost 1pm, time for my shift. I tell her that I have my shift till 2pm, and I ask her if she's still gonna be there. She says probably yes, and that she didn't have a plan, so she'll stay for as long she wants. I tell her to come with me to the bar so that I make us 2 shots. When I get there, I start prepping the shots, a guy who was ordering some asks her if she wants to drink with them, she was like what? and then the guy says you said yes come on. So I make the shots, I look up, she was gone with that guy. Yep that fast. I was caught off guard at first but then I realized that this is how it goes in parties.
Long story short, I end up going to the other bar to help serving cocktails and beer, and she comes to the bar with the guy and asks me for a gin tonic. Afterwards I saw her with the German guy again but doesn't really matter to the story anymore.
Conclusion
I guess the lesson here is don't let anything sabotage your pickup. There are a lot of articles about how to deal with potential cockblocks, whether it's your friends, hers or any person who decides to tag along. Moving fast is also a good thing to do. But as you've seen in this story, sometimes there are circumstances out of our control that can fuck things up.
The lessons I learned for myself is that I need to get back in the game after this period of inactivity and build my momentum back up. I also have to be more sexual, verbally and non-verbally, and calibrate my vibe to the situation.
