FR+  Afterparty + Latina girl

Whaddup everyone!

Here's another FR from two weeks ago. Unfortunately it didn't turn into a LR; my own fault obviously. Still, it was such a fun night; I learned a ton and I met such a cute Colombian girl.

Preamble:

After work and study all day I had to prepare for a performance in the evening (yeah, I'm in a dance group). 6pm: Rehearsal, food and hanging out with partner and the group. At 10 pm we perform and we are done. I grab only one drink to celebrate with everyone, and despite being tired I feel like partying a little.

So I decide to hit one of my favorite places.

11:30, I get there and surprisingly it's almost full. I find several acquaintances there and I try to socialize (but I'm feeling awkward). I'm not having any more alcohol; I'm intent on meeting people naturally. I dance with two girls and it's still awkward: my conversation and my salsa are too rusty.

Time to grab a glass of water and observe the scene. After dancing with two different girls I gain some momentum.

The approach:

Another quick survey and see two girls dancing with each other. Extend my hand and end up dancing with both (Both are cute). "Hey, you two have a pretty cute style of dancing" (meaning not regular style). I pull some nice moves with both at the same time. First time doing that, but I'd seen a dance teacher do it before, so I knew it was doable.

One from my country and the other from Colombia, let's call them Elisa and Alina (I'm putting them fake names). I ask them where they're from. Then some teasing and banter. Elisa leaves and I dance one more song with Alina (she is the cutest one). The song ends and I invite her to go outside and grab some air. We go out and in the way there's a couple I know from dancing who make surprise faces hahah.

Outside is her friend Elisa on her cellphone. More chatting with both. I ask Alina her number just in case (GC advice). There's some girl sitting nearby and they laugh at this wtf? Haha. Even Elisa jokes about it, but I had asked very casually.

Alina tells me she want to find her other friend and wants me to accompany her. We go inside then, and we found her friend kissing with a guy lol. I see her friend closer and suddenly I remember her name and where she is from. Let's call her Angy. She was the girlfriend of a friend of mine three years ago, but we had never met and I had just seen her in pictures. She is amazed I knew her name and country and she had never even heard of me. Alina was also like, what's going on?

More talking, Me and Alina grab some water, Then we go outside again. There's a lot of attraction now but I don't know how to invite her home. The three girls live outside the city.

I set some chase frames. I also guess how she came into the country initially (A nanny program, I suspected because I've met other girls that did the same).

Her: Yeah, how did you know?
Me: You just look like you're patient and good with kids
Her: No! Stop with the guessing games. You've met Colombian girls in the same program, Haven't you? [hitting my arm]
Me: Yeah, well I met and old lady once in the same program. [I don't know why I didn't say the truth, would've been better I think]

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After a few moments I feel I was missing the window so I pull the trigger:

Me: "I think they're about to close here, how about we have an after party?"
Her: "Where? All of us girls?"

I said, yeah all of us. She then agrees enthusiastically. We go inside to find Angy and grab our coats. I don't have a car so we are trying to figure out how to get to my place. The friend of the guy Angy met had a car, so we walk all of us to his car and get to my place which was about 20 min away.

At my place:

Here's I where I didn't fare that well, maybe I was getting tired?. At my place I give them a quick tour, while I'm frantically trying to organize all the mess I had around like papers all over the place and an ironing board. The guy that was with Angy wanted to use the toilet but some girl was using it and I suggested he use the backyard (he ended up not having to, though). I invited some cereal to the girls casue they were hungry. I opened a bottle of an exotic alcohol I had, which they didn't like. In short, I was being too much of a nice guy (fail). Even Elisa told me "Oh you're so nice" when I gave her food.

Angy and the guy were kissing on the couch, and later they got into a bedroom. I hadn't made any move with Alina. She asked me to dance with her, and we did for a while, akwardly. I don't know why I didn't took her to my room and try to escalate (I think that's what she really wanted rather than dancing). We sat down and talked some more. After too long I did took her hand and led her to my room, but she stopped me at the door and we kissed. After a few seconds she stopped, thinking about something, so I say:

Me: You have soft lips [I should've asked "what are you thinking?" instead]
Her: [She rolls her eyes] We shouldn't do this.
Me; No we shouldn't
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Me : Well, it doesn't surprise me that a girl like you has a boyfriend.
Her: No, I can't, you too have a girlfriend? [this was more like assertion than question].
Me: Hmm, I don't know [weak answer]
Her: See, you do have one.

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I wanted to kiss her again, but she just said no and walked back to the living room with the other guys (Angy and her guy were still in one of the bedrooms though). Only later I remembered Seppuku's great line for do you have a girlfriend/wife?: "Yeah, one for each day of the week, except Sundays. On Sunday I rest like the lord". That's really the best one fellas haha

About 5 minutes later Angy was done with the guy, and them girls got ready to leave. I still asked Angy to not let them leave. She kind of tried, but I realized asking that was silly. Alina already leaving told me: "You are cute but..." I then asked what was going to happen, and she said something like nothing, which was what I expected. I hate being nice

Angy wanted my number because she was still astonished I knew "so much" about her, and she didn't knew anything about me (I do have a good memory for faces and names, and stuff). She was also drunk, that's why she accidentally erased herself after putting her # my phone. Their Uber was waiting so they had to hurry.

At the end Angy's guy and his friend were discussing something and the friend started to insult Alina, and she was talking back. I jumped in holding my laugh and told her to just go to her Uber and ignore the guy. I think Angy's guy was begging to go with them and stay with Angy, but Alina refused and the friend insulted her saying she was a killjoy among other things. It was all really silly.

Wow, anyway guys. Long post for a long and interesting night. Any comments and suggestions are welcome!

Although you essentially failed this girl on her windows she was providing you, there is still many things to learn from this.
1. You could have flirted somewhat with any of the other girls just as a back up in case it doesn't work with your girl you would have been able to transition at the end to another girl( or this would raise your value so your first girl will give you room in case you mess up)
2. you invite these people in your house so by default you "should" be the highest value guy among the girls again maybe you could have transitioned to another since this girl backed off
3. you were acting like you were hosting a "meet my crib"(or whatever that show's name is) by touring them. You excessed to much energy(almost like you are trying to impress them) therefore lowering your value. Hence Law of least effort was ignored here.
4.Lead... did I just read that she was telling you where to go around the bar/club and you were following her? Lead her bro.. Lead her..
5. You were to nice. Maybe make the girls kiss your cheeks for the cereal as command and showing your dominance in your kingdom type effect(something playful that leads to escalation).
6. Escalation... was no where to be found. I thought you were about to kiss her the second time you went outside and help your cause but it didn't happen. In fact your girl did more escalating by getting you up to dance therefore killing all hope since you did not even act much even when she insisted on moving forward.

I'm not trying to put you down to be clear, It's moments like these where you fail miserably that will crave the great in you to creep out of the darkness. Hope this helps to avoid these kind of things in the future.

Hey Poli. Sorry for taking so long, I never got to see you post for some reason until I checked my old post .

Poli said:

You could have flirted somewhat with any of the other girls just as a back up in case it doesn't work with your girl you would have been able to transition at the end to another girl( or this would raise your value so your first girl will give you room in case you mess up)

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I was friendly with her friends throughout the interaction. Her friend Angy was super intrigued because I knew her name and country and she had never while she had never met me, she flirted with me and touched me and took selfies with me.

However I was mainly focused on the girl I was interested in, as it should. There was no reason to move to another girl until I messed up at the end while at my place.

Poli said:

you invite these people in your house so by default you "should" be the highest value guy among the girls again maybe you could have transitioned to another since this girl backed off

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At my place Angy took one of the room and had sex with the guy she brought. The other girl Elisa was talking to the friend of Angy's guy (our ride).
Alina and I were paying attention to each other until I messed up. It wasn't necessary to move to any other girl.

Poli said:

you were acting like you were hosting a "meet my crib"(or whatever that show's name is) by touring them.

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Hehe it wasn't like that, they just followed me when we arrived and I went to my room to unload. Then I told them where the bathroom was since the girls needed it.

Poli said:

.Lead... did I just read that she was telling you where to go around the bar/club and you were following her? Lead her bro.. Lead her.

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I think it wasn't that bad. I led her first outside and we talked about 5 min, at that point I hadn't figured out how to invite her home yet. I needed to move her then and she suggested we went inside to find her friend so I agreed. She took me by the hand inside which I thought was a great sign.
Afterwards I was the one moving her for water and then ouside again until I finally figured how to pull.

Poli said:

You were to nice. Maybe make the girls kiss your cheeks for the cereal as command and showing your dominance in your kingdom type effect(something playful that leads to escalation).

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You are definitely right. I was too nice at my place. The kiss tradeoff is a great idea haha. I have to think more like that.

Poli said:

Escalation... was no where to be found. I thought you were about to kiss her the second time you went outside and help your cause but it didn't happen. In fact your girl did more escalating by getting you up to dance therefore killing all hope since you did not even act much even when she insisted on moving forward.

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Chase and most in this forum don't advocate kissing girls until you're both at a location where you can escalate to sex. In my experience after I kiss a girl at a bar or other public venue a girl doesn't want anything more with you.

However, you observation about her having to escalate for me when we were at my place is dead on, that was the time I should've kissed her and I didn't for some explainable reason, therefore I missed a huge escalation window and everything went downhill from there.

All in all, I definitely learned much and I'm glad I actually got her home, because I'm think I'm actually improving at that phase. I only started to mess up at the end while at my place, but it's okey. More experience.

Thank you for your feedback poli

Ergon