The casual approach & parlaying it - Insights from practical application

hillshift

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 8, 2013
Messages
14
I've been reading articles here for about a year now and it has done wonders in my dealings with women. We can debate about how much your attractiveness helps a situation (and no doubt it does), but the stuff here makes attractive men better and the goofy bastards too! My approach game has improved dramatically using a very casual style. My friends always ask me "what did you say to them?" after going to a group of women and engaging them. I almost certainly will be getting a number, and potentially parlaying it into more interaction with them that night.

It's never anything special, in fact it's whatever comes to mind as I walk up. It's often something along the lines of,"hey girls, what's the occasion?", or "That's like the girliest drink imaginable, what is it?", etc. It literally doesn't matter, the more situational and improvisational your opener is the better.

The opener just needs to be relevant and friendly. As long as you use good voice tonality and inflection, maintain strong eye contact, and try to genuinely have a good time, you'll make inroads. Most importantly though, remain perfectly calm, like you are sitting at dinner with your fucking grandma. I made it a point to force myself to walk up to the hottest chick(s) in a venue and engage them in conversation again and again, and yes I made some dumb moves, still do....but what I've gained is an aura of natural ease around the women that make other men quiver like little bitches. And girls notice this, it's apparent within 2 minutes of walking over there if you've got that swagger.

Part of it comes from psychological training, I literally don't give a shit if I get rejected. The more unconcerned you are with getting rejected, the more encouraged you will be to take chances, act boldly, and generally act like an attractive man with plenty of options. When you realize that maintaining this aura is the #1 tool you can have, you will truly become a man with plenty of options. And when it is incorporated into your persona it no longer becomes something you use as a tool as much as it is a constant positive effect in all your dealings with women.

All of this is basically saying to you "be confident and wing it". But all of the "winging it" is working within the framework of many of the articles here: controlling the frame, abundance mentality, deep diving & coming back up. I try to approach an opening situation with the mindset that these women actually need to impress me, sure they are cute, but that's not enough to impress me.

Make sure you don't let a female get away with saying something utterly stupid or poorly thought out. For instance, this chick once told me she didn't have a car at the moment and then later that she was going to get a tattoo tomorrow. To that I commented "yeah, that seems like a better investment than saving for a car!". They aren't used to being called out if they are hot. You can let them stammer a bit with it too, then proceed with the conversation (i.e., "so what kind of tattoo? Maybe you could get a tattoo of a car!"). Sure some girls will get angry, but they will like it deep down because you are a real man who calls it like he sees it. Apparently that is a rare god-damn commodity these days.

To wrap up I want to suggest a few other general behaviors to work on (which I am constantly trying to do). Don't be afraid to slip in a little sexual innuendo, keep it classy, but if she's feeling you she'll admire you boldness and charm. Be tactful about how you relay information. Don't say "I'm an amazing salesman", but instead bring something from your discussion over to how you relate to your clients. You are now implying that you are a good salesman if they read between the lines. If a girl is attracted to you she will be ready to make that assumptive leap. And for god's sake - leave on a high note. I.e., get the number, get them excited about you, and then go back to your boys or find something else to occupy you. Sending a quick text 20-30 min after will give you the opportunity to meet up again. Often if she wants to keep seeing you she will make it easy. The text would say something like "Hey it's Matt, nice meeting you. <slip in something clever & situational from your encounter if possible> :)"

So I hope this was insightful. Feel free to critique, expand, etc. Now let's all go out there and get laid!
 

mindful

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 16, 2014
Messages
256
Thanks for sharing your insight man. I just have one question... do you do direct openers at all?
 

hillshift

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 8, 2013
Messages
14
mindful said:
Thanks for sharing your insight man. I just have one question... do you do direct openers at all?

Not really, it's always super casual. I just try to smile, laugh, and get her laughing... very easy going, no pressure. I would probably not be that great at direct openers since my forte is the casual approach. If that's what feels right to you though then hone yourself into a monster on the direct openers....and do share in the forums what you learn and observe!
 

snipefield

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 14, 2013
Messages
230
Hi hillshift, thanks for sharing your insights.

After the opener and chit-chat, how do you communicate interest in a particular girl from a group when you approach in such a manner? I think I would enjoy going to bars if I knew I could have a process where I am genuinely friendly with groups of girls and am also able to progress with a particular girl that I like.

Another issue: how important is it to communicate interest in a particular girl of a group? Frequently, all 3 friends are cute and I am indecisive regarding whether I should be blatantly trying to get one girls' phone number. Perhaps I should take a second and consciously decide which girl I like best before starting the interaction.
 

ThrowDown

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
67
I used direct openers for a while and received good results. However, situational openers and slow openings go a long way :) I feel too direct openers would be investing too much right away.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,484
Hillshift-

This is a nice big picture overview.

This:

hillshift said:
Make sure you don't let a female get away with saying something utterly stupid or poorly thought out. For instance, this chick once told me she didn't have a car at the moment and then later that she was going to get a tattoo tomorrow. To that I commented "yeah, that seems like a better investment than saving for a car!". They aren't used to being called out if they are hot. You can let them stammer a bit with it too, then proceed with the conversation (i.e., "so what kind of tattoo? Maybe you could get a tattoo of a car!"). Sure some girls will get angry, but they will like it deep down because you are a real man who calls it like he sees it. Apparently that is a rare god-damn commodity these days.

Made me laugh. But yeah, absolutely. Especially if you hit her with that playful "Oh really?" tone / expression, a la the Willy Wonka meme:

willy_wonka_sarcasm_meme.jpg


"Tell me more about how you can't afford a car right now..."

Chase
 
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