How to Further Your Deep Dive?

Dern

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Apr 11, 2013
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281
So I've been working on my deep diving ability lately. It's one thing that I've been struggling with, as I usually start with asking a good deep diving question, and make a cold read based off it, but don't know how to take it any further.

I read Ross' article on not making the same mistake twice and in the comments section, he provides a good example of deep diving:

John: Journalist? Sounds like you're an opinionated girl. I hope you use that opinion for good... rather than unspeakable things.
Ashley: [excited] Yeah, I am opinionated! I'll be sure to use it for good.
John: I don't know if I believe you ... What kind of "good" are you planning on bringing?
Ashley: Well, I've done ABC and DEF and I'm planning on doing XYZ and etc.

As you can see, to further the deep dive, John asks Ashley to provide examples of what good things she's done, based off his cold read on her. He could have even left out the "I hope you use that opinion for good.. rather than unspeakable things" part out and just asked her what opinions she has about the world and such. But my question is this: what are some other ways you guys further your deep dive?

Asking for examples is one way, but it doesn't apply to every situation. For example, a couple weeks ago, I was talking to a Russian girl, and I asked her what she liked about Vancouver compared to her home town. She told me how everyone here is so diverse and different; everyone has their own sense of style, while in Russia, when somethings in fashion, everyone will be wearing it. I made a cold read off this, saying that she must really enjoy her sense of freedom and individualism. In this case, after she agrees, I can't really go on to ask her how she enjoys her sense of freedom. That would just sound weird. Therefore, I was sort of "stuck" here, and couldn't proceed any deeper into the conversation.

In Chase's article 20 ways to talk to a girl, he provides a list of questions that can be used to start a deep dive. I use these questions, but I often struggle on what to follow them up with after the girl responds.

• "How long have you been doing that for?"
• "How do you like it?"
• "Do you think you'll [get promoted / move up / open your own business / master that hobby or art]?"
• "If you don't like it that much, why are you still doing it?"
• "How'd you get into it if you don't like it?"
• "Think you'll do it forever?"
• "What's stopping you from doing it?"

Taken from Chase's article How to talk to girls and make them go wild for you:

You: So how do you like living in California?

Her: It's okay.

You: Why just okay? Why not "great"? [not letting her get away with a vague answer; that doesn't move things forward]

Her: Well, the weather's great, but the people are all the same.

You: And you want more diversity. [keeping it moving along, understanding her]

Her: Right.

You: What's good about diversity? [keeping it moving along, understanding her]

Her: It's just more interesting. The people, the food, the art -- it's all more interesting in more diverse places.

You: Hmm, good observation. Things do get a little repetitive at times. [connecting with her]

Her: [laughs] Yeah.

You: Let's grab a seat. [moving things forward]

Her: Okay.

In an example such as this one, how can you dwelve deeper into this topic of "diversity?" I guess you could ask something like: "so why are you still here? Why not move somewhere more refreshing?"

I've read all of Chase's articles on deep diving and conversation, so I know I have to be relatable, humble, warm, and so on. But I'm interested in how you guys "further" your deep dive. Lengthy examples would be great, as I often read FRs in this forum about how people deep dive, but they just say they deep dive about school or work or whatever, but never really provide the details on how they accomplished this. I understand why though. Because it would take a long time to actually write it all out. So if someone could take the time to give a detailed account of one of their deep dives, that would be greatly appreciated! Or even if you shed some light onto how I could've carried the conversation further with the Russian chick or in Chase's example above, that would be super helpful as well!

Last question: how long should you stay on a topic? In Chase's example conversation, I find he doesn't stay on topics too long. For example, he deep dives work, travelling, hobbies, and family all relativity quickly. This leads to him getting to know the girl well on a broad spectrum of subjects, but couldn't you stay on say, the topic of work longer? and deep dive that even more, rather than switching to talk about something else? I read in one of Anatman's FR's that he was talking about yoga with this girl for like half an hour. Is this too long? At the same time, Chase does a good job in this example conversation of maintaining the flow, and transferring to a different subject effortlessly and naturally. And I guess you could return to open threads if you run out of things to talk about, and continue deep diving those topics. Just tossing out thoughts right now. All advice on deep diving welcome!
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,017
Hi there,

There's no hard rules about deep diving really. Just remember the key principles. When the topic runs out, you should know it instinctively because the girl is running out of things to say or is not interested in the topic anymore.

When strangers talk, they change threads until it's exhausted, but when close friends talk, they tend to jump between threads all the time, so this is what you want to achieve while getting to know a girl, still ask about the whys and hows but feel free to change the topic if she wants to. No need to dive too deep all at once. Still need to have fun :)

One last thing is to be in the moment. If you're planning on what to say before she finishes her sentence, then you're screwed. Women judge you by how you respond to them, so you need to be listening to the emotion behind their words.

Smith
 

Mr. oblivious

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Apr 13, 2014
Messages
287
This is a really good post for me personally cause im also working on my conversation skills deep diving (trying to ask more open questions and implement cold reads also trying to make it less interview like by putting in a little rewarding etc.) also sexual framing is what iv been working on and i think there was a situaiton in you example which it could of be utilized.

I can't really go on to ask her how she enjoys her sense of freedom

Could of turned the talk sexual (set a sexual frame at that moment
 

Dern

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
Messages
281
Mr. Oblivious said:
This is a really good post for me personally cause im also working on my conversation skills deep diving (trying to ask more open questions and implement cold reads also trying to make it less interview like by putting in a little rewarding etc.) also sexual framing is what iv been working on and i think there was a situaiton in you example which it could of be utilized.

I can't really go on to ask her how she enjoys her sense of freedom

Could of turned the talk sexual (set a sexual frame at that moment

What would you have said?

:)
 

Mr. oblivious

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
287
Dern said:
Mr. Oblivious said:
This is a really good post for me personally cause im also working on my conversation skills deep diving (trying to ask more open questions and implement cold reads also trying to make it less interview like by putting in a little rewarding etc.) also sexual framing is what iv been working on and i think there was a situaiton in you example which it could of be utilized.

I can't really go on to ask her how she enjoys her sense of freedom

Could of turned the talk sexual (set a sexual frame at that moment

What would you have said?

:)

Depending on the atmophere etc.

I would of made a comment about is other than fashion does she feel liberated in area of her life (this is a socking example i had a perfect example in my head last night when i wrote this but i can't seem to think of it now)'

or move onto a more adventurous path saying something like since you have strong sense of freedom bet you like to (mention skinny dipping or other act which are sexual and involve being free and liberated.

I remember my example was along the lines of the pressures society puts on us and i was referring it to being sexual liberated (if i look over this again and i remember or can put down a solid example i will)

Yeh these aren't very definitive examples but hope they do for now or you can see where i was heading with my statement
 

maximus6004

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jan 28, 2014
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369
I used to think the same way as all of you guys until it hit me. Like chase always says make a point to your conversation our anything you do. There should be no randomness but a plot a plan to the story of you and her.

You are sitting at the bar for example, you see this hot little number talking. You just have to talk to her, an urge inside of you is telling you that you have to do it, so you get up and talk to her with the sole purpose that she attracts you. You open, hey I saw you over yonder and I just had to cone talk to you..... I'm max. Oh hey im do and so. Now from the beginning of chases book, you want to qualify her. You should already know do you date woman who party or not? If your looking to date them you ask her questions to qualify her. So you like to read and you like your woman to read. Do you read books? Yes or no.

Yes, oh cool what kind if books do you read?
OH mostly stories, romance.
Oh i have never read that kind of stuff before, why do you like it?
Oh I just love imagination, I ask always wanted to write.
So you are artistic, do you have it started? What other things are you you interested in artistically.
Oh I like museums, blah blah blah
Wow I have always wanted to go check one out, there is one opening such and such that I'd love to see
Oh yea I heard about that!
Hey let's grab a seat over their, start walking.

She says no, maybe it's not that important maybe you sleep with her one time because of this or.
Not a book reader? Magazine's what?
Yea mostly fashion,.
Oh so you are like into modelling our was that a dream of yours?

There is always a purpose, and when you deep dive you want to discuss things that are important to qualify her. Our find out why she does what she does. What makes people different is what makes the world well the world. I see what you are doing, you are just trying to talk about anything. Its nothing passionate about anything you can relate too. Those topics you get off of fast what's the point in discussing you start to beast around the Bush and this is bad. Always pull as fast as
 

maximus6004

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jan 28, 2014
Messages
369
Just like acting, the ones that are bad, are the ones with the people who dont get the body language right, its awkward and boring. But listen to a song like tupac, ir young jeezy one album. They have passion behind what they are saying and so should you
 
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